HoloNet News Exclusive Interview: Baron Deathmark
In today’s HoloNet News exclusive, sports legend and renowned Huttball host Baron Deathmark has graciously agreed to an interview with chief correspondent Lamalla Rann. After a tour of Deathmark’s luxurious Nar Shaddaa penthouse, the Baron sat down with Rann to discuss his incredible personal story and give us a peak into the future of gladiatorial entertainment.
LAMALLA RANN: Baron Deathmark, huge pleasure to speak with you today. You’re a living legend, you have legions of adoring fans, and you smell like designer hand-stitched leatheris gloves. What is life like for Huttball’s number one celebrity spokesbeing?
BARON DEATHMARK: Life is good, Lamalla! I’ve stabbed, burned, smashed, and shouted my way to the top, and I couldn’t have done it without the support of all those amazing fans you’ve just mentioned. It’s hard to believe a scrawny kid from the Nikto Sector could go so far!
LR: In fact, I think you can still see the Nikto Sector from one of your penthouse’s five balconies, isn’t that right?
BD: Of course! It’s important to remember where you come from.
LR: Speaking of your penthouse—lovely place, so tastefully decorated, let me just say—there was one floor where we weren’t allowed take our holocams. So mysterious! Can you tell our audience what’s going on down there?
BD: That’s my personal top-secret training facility, Lamalla! Three hundred and seventy-six different workout stations, from weight equipment to training dummies to automated deathtraps, all developed from my own career techniques combined with years of experience in viewing the game firsthand.
LR: But why so much secrecy? What is Baron Deathmark planning—could it be a return from retirement?
BD: Oh, no, Lamalla. I’m not heading back into the Pit—I’m heading straight into my fans’ homes with Baron Deathmark’s Huttball for Health Workout… of Death! Just fifty credits will buy an inside look into my training center along with an specially-designed exercise routine guaranteed to transform anyone into Rotworm or Frog-Dog material practically overnight!
LR: An incredible opportunity for Huttball hopefuls, Baron! And speaking of new opportunities, there’s been a lot of talk about Giradda the Hutt’s newest venture.
BD: I’m not surprised! Giradda’s arenas are going to be the next big thing in team-based athletic bloodsport, let me tell you.
LR: Give us the scoop! What separates these arenas from the Huttball we all know and love?
BD: Well, of course, the core element of Huttball is the Huttball. Take that away, and what do you have? Two teams, armed to the teeth, locked in a room until someone’s a winner. And I think most people would agree, that can make for some great entertainment.
There’s just one problem. Huttball teams are big—it can take a while for that many people to really brutalize each other. So Giradda thought, make the teams smaller, and you get to the good stuff even faster!
LR: Insightful stuff—not to mention exciting! Giradda definitely knows his audience.
BD: He really is a Hutt of the people.
LR: Now, I’m afraid we’re just about out of time, Baron. Any final words for our audience?
BD: Well, a trainer once gave me a piece of advice that’s really stuck with me. “No matter what the scoreboard says, there’s always time to get out there and really mangle somebody.” Good advice no matter where you are in life!
LR: Words of wisdom from Baron Deathmark himself! That’s it for today, folks, but be sure to check back next time, when the Baron will be giving us a VIP tour of Giradda the Hutt’s new arenas!
Lamalla Rann is an award-winning journalist and author. Her most recent holobook, “Missing the Mannett Point: The Mantellian Civil War Revealed”, is currently the top-selling nonfiction work of the year.