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Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs


Zaodon

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Welcome to Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs!

 

The following is a guide you should follow whenever you want to create "Nerf (class goes here)" threads in this forum.

 

1. Have Selective Memory

If you see an opponent attacking a team mate and kill them easily, only to get ganked by that same opponent 2 minutes later when they pop out of nowhere and attack you while you're engaged with 3 other enemies and at 65% health with no cooldowns left, you need to engage in something called "Selective Memory". You must block out the fact that they were an easy kill a few moments ago, and only complain on the forums about how they easily killed you. Use the terms "insane", "overpowered", and "ridiculous" to make your point stick.

 

2. Ignorance is Bliss

Never go to fan websites, wiki's or other sources of information to learn about all classes, abilities and talents. Never. By remaining ignorant of the actual features of SWTOR, you can claim things that are simply untrue/impossible. Examples include "He knocked me down and landed 7 attacks before I got up", "I'm a lvl 50 tank-spec with 60 valor and full PvP gear and he 3-shotted me", or "I was chain-stunned by him 5 times in a row and died."

 

3. Wield Your Ego

Claim to be the absolute best player in the world at SWTOR and PvP. Provide examples of how you "pwned" 5 people at once the "other day", and how you scored in Huttball with "the entire other team beating on you". Then claim that the class you want to nerf can beat you at will, and therefore since you are sooooo "uber", there is no possible way they could defeat you unless their class was OP.

 

4. Deny Reality

Even though SWTOR PvP is team based, you must never, ever admit this, no matter what you do. Use the term "1v1" constantly, to the point of nauseum. Never admit that all Warzones are won or lost as a team.

 

5. Exploit n00bs

As with all MMOs, SWTOR will have a lot of players who are not great at PvP, but will enter Warzones to try it out for the fun of it. But, the reality is, these people are n00bs and will not be very good at it. Your job is to deny this, and claim that every single player in a PvP zone is an expert, who never makes mistakes, never does n00bish things, has perfect tactics and strategies, and is top ranked. When these "experts" are getting killed a lot in PvP (and make sure you have videos of this happening), use that as "evidence" that the class you want to nerf is "overpowered" because they must be if they are killing all these "PvP Vets".

 

6. Anecdotal Evidence is Key

If there is a class you want to nerf, be sure to get some screenshots or videos which show how "overpowered" they are. Even though these classes will routinely score near the bottom of the scoreboard, wait until you are in a match where coincidence has them at the top (preferably, #1), and screenshot/fraps it. Use this as your "evidence" that all players of that class are "OP" and lack skills and use the easy button, and claim they "always" score at the top. If someone posts screenshots/videos of that class scoring poorly, claim that their screenshot/video is "an aberration", and that yours is the case in "virtually all warzones."

Edited by Zaodon
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My avatar is my avatar. I play a Vanguard Trooper.

 

YOU'VE LOST LIKE, ALL CREDIBILITY BRAH.

 

^ That little gem is pretty common when people are arguing about class imbalances. Should add it to your list.

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Welcome to Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs!

 

The following is a guide you should follow whenever you want to create "Nerf (class goes here)" threads in this forum.

 

1. Have Selective Memory

If you see an opponent attacking a team mate and kill them easily, only to get ganked by that same opponent 2 minutes later when they pop out of nowhere and attack you while you're engaged with 3 other enemies and at 65% health with no cooldowns left, you need to engage in something called "Selective Memory". You must block out the fact that they were an easy kill a few moments ago, and only complain on the forums about how they easily killed you. Use the terms "insane", "overpowered", and "ridiculous" to make your point stick.

 

2. Ignorance is Bliss

Never go to fan websites, wiki's or other sources of information to learn about all classes, abilities and talents. Never. By remaining ignorant of the actual features of SWTOR, you can claim things that are simply untrue/impossible. Examples include "He knocked me down and landed 7 attacks before I got up", "I'm a lvl 50 tank-spec with 60 valor and full PvP gear and he 3-shotted me", or "I was chain-stunned by him 5 times in a row and died."

 

3. Wield Your Ego

Claim to be the absolute best player in the world at SWTOR and PvP. Provide examples of how you "pwned" 5 people at once the "other day", and how you scored in Huttball with "the entire other team beating on you". Then claim that the class you want to nerf can beat you at will, and therefore since you are sooooo "uber", there is no possible way they could defeat you unless their class was OP.

 

4. Deny Reality

Even though SWTOR PvP is team based, you must never, ever admit this, no matter what you do. Use the term "1v1" constantly, to the point of nauseum. Never admit that all Warzones are won or lost as a team.

 

5. Exploit n00bs

As with all MMOs, SWTOR will have a lot of players who are not great at PvP, but will enter Warzones to try it out for the fun of it. But, the reality is, these people are n00bs and will not be very good at it. Your job is to deny this, and claim that every single player in a PvP zone is an expert, who never makes mistakes, never does n00bish things, has perfect tactics and strategies, and is top ranked. When these "experts" are getting killed a lot in PvP (and make sure you have videos of this happening), use that as "evidence" that the class you want to nerf is "overpowered" because they must be if they are killing all these "PvP Vets".

 

6. Anecdotal Evidence is Key

If there is a class you want to nerf, be sure to get some screenshots or videos which show how "overpowered" they are. Even though these classes will routinely score near the bottom of the scoreboard, wait until you are in a match where coincidence has them at the top (preferably, #1), and screenshot/fraps it. Use this as your "evidence" that all players of that class are "OP" and lack skills and use the easy button, and claim they "always" score at the top. If someone posts screenshots/videos of that class scoring poorly, claim that their screenshot/video is "an aberration", and that yours is the case in "virtually all warzones."

 

 

You have my vote if you ever consider running for a president:cool:

 

And for all of you nerf tarp n00bs, read this every day in the morning after you wake up and before you go to bed in the evening.:eek:

Edited by TCFinwe
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Remember kids, OP stands for "other people's". Girlie can sprint on cooldown and you can't? It's other people's spell! Dude shoots lightning that does literally the same amount of damage as your pebbledash but has a different graphical effect? That's cool, it's someone else's so you can still legitimately refer to it as OP.

 

Do not make the mistake many others make and assume that statistical parity means that one cannot be more OP than another - it doesn't! How else would you explain posts that claim that mounts are OP? Because they belong to other folk, silly.

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