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When I Wake


iamthehoyden's Avatar


iamthehoyden
10.17.2012 , 03:15 PM | #71
The character progression's really interesting, as is the slow burn you've got going between her and Torian. Looking forward to seeing if her trip to the Organization finished off all those loose ends or if she's still tied to them, how her body is now.
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
---------------
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

EverSteam's Avatar


EverSteam
10.18.2012 , 12:09 AM | #72
Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
The character progression's really interesting, as is the slow burn you've got going between her and Torian. Looking forward to seeing if her trip to the Organization finished off all those loose ends or if she's still tied to them, how her body is now.
Thanks
We'll just have to see...

EverSteam's Avatar


EverSteam
10.18.2012 , 01:28 AM | #73
Just updated Yours to Hold: http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=541733

A week or so later on Hoth's surface somewhere....


When we finally face our target, the Trandoshian makes me laugh.

'You are here! Good. Scorekeeper will watch me eat the beating heart from your chest.' I couldn't help it. I laughed as he kept talking his threats. Torian's mouth twitched.

'You can try, lizard, but there is nothing there for you to eat.' We begin the fight after more taunts and insults. The battle is swift and easy. Not nearly as challenging as his brother.

After we win the battle, Torian is odd. 'Chiss can't do worse to him than this.' His voice is a little regretful and sad as he looks down at the frozen body.

'Care to elaborate on that?' I already know, of course. I just like to humour Torian sometimes. It's good to know the knowledge and limits of those that fight with you. And he's so appealing when explaining things.

His voice is a little lecturing. 'You just zeroed his jagganath. Made him worthless. Nothing but oblivion waiting when the Chiss finally kill him. When we meet our ends, hope we're more fortunate.'

I don't mention that oblivion would be almost be a blessing to some. That I went through a year where every day I suffered so much that it was like a hundred deaths from dawn till dusk. I gave him the grand tour of the base on Tython. I wanted to plant charges in every room and make sure no one was left alive. Each room brought back memories. I think it made Torian understand my reality. He won't like the reminder.

The first room we visit has a fresh sign. They change them every two weeks. Every other week they put on new doorknobs and locks. Wonder why. That sign read ‘Feeding Room 1A’. The room is black with a light bulb at the top of the ceiling, cabinets line the walls. A rusty steel seat sits in the middle of the room, small and insignificant. Same as the one I remember. Doesn't suit the clean white walls of outside. But in this black room, it becomes menacing and belongs.

Food and water are not given to prisoners for several days. Then victims' tongues are crushed using pliers. Often beaten with truncheons and forced to eat hot gruel with too much salt and pepper in it. The prisoners eat this food crying because of the terrible pain in their mouths. Others were not fed at all. This was the torture used for low level prisoners. It is nothing. And more than a little primitive.

I think the worst was the electrocution. It isn't like in the holo vids. There isn't a metal cap. Electrodes are only put to the most sensitive parts of the body or fresh cuts. And that isn't the scalp; only ears, wrists, throats, and genitals. I showed him the rooms used for that purpose, planting explosives in each. Isn't he same as a droid doing it. More personal, humiliating and degrading when it's a another being. I didn't enjoy what happened in that room. I was lost and broken, poorly sown together with rage. Heartless and cold. It didn't make me feel anything.

I told Torian the stories of each room as we go through them. These stories are my own. I was the best torturer in the Organisation. Don't feel much as I go from room to room now. Enjoy Torian's reaction though. Notice the way he swallows vomit back. But I don't say anything. Like to say I felt sad at seeing these rooms again. Horrified or angry. But I didn't. Felt almost the same as I did then.

I enjoyed it.

But I wanted freedom more.

EverSteam's Avatar


EverSteam
10.18.2012 , 01:54 AM | #74
Later that day...

Torian took a liking to the Jawa. I could tell immediately. So I thought I'd ask about his fate when we returned to the Chiss. See if I could help. I didn't care much but I knew Torian would. He was outraged when they suggested executing him. So I stepped in. Lost some pay. But to see the victory and satisfaction on Torian's face was worth it. It raises an uncomfortable thought of what I would not do to make him happy or at least become so alluringly smug.

The Jawa wanted to join me to thank me for freeing him. He liked my ship. So I liked him. 'Welcome aboard little guy. Make yourself at home. We're glad to have you.'

And so once again, Gault and Mako meet me in the cockpit to meet our new arrival. Torian stands in the background.

'Looks like the Chiss just transferred the money into our bank account...' Mako scrolls through her datapad. 'Wow! Do you think we will make this much money on all our jobs now?' She shows me the screen. It was a lot of 0's I suppose. Gault is quick to come over and check it out. I can tell he's already imagining what to ask from me.

'This keeps up, we might just retire with all our parts intact.' A little ironic if you think about it.

'Retire? Was just getting started.' Torian frowns. Always so serious.

'Trust me. It won't last nearly as long as you think.' I scowl at Gault. I feel like he's spent half of it already. I already went along with that horrible sales scheme of his. Suppose I owed him something after almost killing him.

'Well, if we're done here I think I'm going to go have a shower.' I frown and think of arguing it with Mako. She wasn't the one that just fought a giant Trandoshian and is covered in its blood. There is a reason they don't make perfume form it. And it's not that it would be difficult to get a hold of. There blood doesn't smell particularly pleasing.

'Take Blizz with you. I don't think he's familiar with the concept,' Gault mocks back. Maybe I was a little incorrect when I said 'we're glad to have you aboard to him. But I smirk a little at the thought. Though it's also highly disturbing if I continue the thought.

Before Mako can retort, the holo terminal bleeps. 'Looks like their already calling to congratulate you'.
The three hunters appear on the holoterminal. They're jealous. And annoyed. I smirk at their holofigures. I've been trained for worse than what these bounties are for.

'Now that you're up to your neck in credits you will need and excuse to spend them,' Bloodworthy cuts into my gloating.

'I'm listening. But my wish list is already 10 parsecs long.' I don't think too much about what it really is I want. Money has little meaning to me. It is but a means to an end. And the list is more or less some very basic things repeated over and over again. Destroy the Republic, then Empire, kill Nemro the Hutt, complete a few bounties and somewhere in between, have Torian. The last takes up 8 of those parsecs. Though part of me still rejects such thoughts. Not dumb enough to think that because he came back I have a chance. Saving a Jawa doesn't change anything.

'So is mine. But we are going to throw you a party in your honour since you just finished two targets on the blacklist back to back.' Bloodworthy sounds more than a little begrudging. Makes me wonder if Mandalore put him up to it.

They give us details. I have earned the Zabrak woman's respect. I don't care about it. Mako mutters an insult under her breath at the Zabarak. I don't hold in my laughter. Sometimes, I really like that girl. Very rarely though.

'Meet us on the promenade in Nar Shaddaa.' They switch off. I wonder why they are always together. If all they do is hang out together in their little 'club' it's no wonder so many bounties have gone unclaimed for so long.

'Well, then. Guess we're off to Nar Shaddaa.'

-----


Note:
Spoiler

MilaniGrey's Avatar


MilaniGrey
10.18.2012 , 10:39 AM | #75
Party! Party! *runs around throwing streamers and confetti*
The Islingr LegacyShatter the Darkness
Astaron, Narithia, Xalkory, Áilleacht
The Ebon Hawk Server
Forever Shenanigans!

iamthehoyden's Avatar


iamthehoyden
10.18.2012 , 04:28 PM | #76
Cue Act 3. This....should be interesting.
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
---------------
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

Adwynyth's Avatar


Adwynyth
10.18.2012 , 07:40 PM | #77
Quote: Originally Posted by MilaniGrey View Post
Party! Party! *runs around throwing streamers and confetti*
Are you listening to this song maybe?
Horrendously bad fan fiction: Sith in a Pretty Dress

MilaniGrey's Avatar


MilaniGrey
10.18.2012 , 07:44 PM | #78
Quote: Originally Posted by Adwynyth View Post
Are you listening to this song maybe?
Maybe...
The Islingr LegacyShatter the Darkness
Astaron, Narithia, Xalkory, Áilleacht
The Ebon Hawk Server
Forever Shenanigans!

EverSteam's Avatar


EverSteam
10.19.2012 , 02:04 AM | #79
Few days later on Nar Shaddaa and the night of the 'party'...


'Home again...' Mako sighs and walks up the few steps that lead into the cockpit. 'Hope this visit is better than the last.' She shakes her head. 'Come on, ready to hit the promenade in style?' She smiles and radiates excitement. She didn't get to join in on my adoption party. Don't know why she sulked over it. Didn't take Gault either. Could do it again, I still wouldn't take her.

I have thought about this all the way here. That and how this party is about to be the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me. I smile a little at that. Don't think everyone would agree with that assessment. 'I'll need a date first.' I lean back in the Captain's chair in the cockpit and smirk at Torian. 'Torian, you up for it?' I look him up and down. 'Want to be my arm candy?'

He bows his head. 'Ma'am'. A yes. And a small serious, happy smile. Inside, I breath out my relief. Wasn't so hard. Never asked a man anything like that before. When the time called for it, my job was to make sure they asked me. With Torian, I could be waiting forever. Wonder if I would really mind. He is worth it. Inside, I punch myself. Stupid thinking pointless things like that. What happens, happens. In the long run, don't think a Mando punk will change anything much. Smirk a little. Haven't been called 'ma'am' in almost two years either. A little weird. Gotten used to 'Bounty Hunter'. And Champion from him. Not sure I like 'ma'am'.

'What? And have me lock up the ship by myself? That will take forever!' Or maybe it is. God, Mako complains. Such a child. Don't really want to have to babysit at my own party. I sigh. Didn't even say she had to do that. I was thinking it but I didn't say it yet.

'I'll help'. Torian. I feel a flash of anger. I clench my fists and resist the urge to punch the wall again. Gault is amused and watching in the shadows. I had thrown away my suspicions of them. My jealousy of Mako. But at that moment, it all came back. An old and hated friend. I felt hurt and betrayed. And that made me irate. I haven't changed that much.

I consider changing my mind. Asking Gault to come with me. Knew Gault would take the opportunity to make a move. He hadn't tried since the moment after Torian came aboard. Thought it might make Torian jealous. Stupid thought. If Torian did like Mako there wouldn't be anything to be jealous about. And when did you become so petty?

I sit in pseudo consideration as I try to hide how angry I am. So I don't notice the reluctance in Torian's body language, the disappointment and hesitation in his frown. But I do notice Mako's happiness. And under that, her gloating.

'Gault will stay and help. That's an order.' Revenge. I smirk in Gault's direction. He glares at me, but is still amused. And that makes me more than a little angry. If I didn't want Mako there, I would tell Gault to shut down the ship alone. 'I need you with me Torian. You too, Blizz. We'll meet them at the party.' I don't issue orders often. I expect my crew to follow without them. But I did then. Try to make it sound strategic. Professional and a necessity. Not a desire. Not a need. And not a plea. I never beg.

I look at Mako. At Blizz. But not Gault; I can't look at the mockery in his wrinkles, the laughter in his eyes. And I can't look at Torian. To see whatever is there. I can't always do what's harder. So I don't see the happiness that is somewhere amongst his serious expression and the pride is in his straight back.

'I'll meet you both at the exit in fifteen. Gault and Mako, I suggest you start following my orders immediately.'

We leave. Mako is furious. And that makes me more than a little bit happy.

-----

I take out my old dress, hidden in my closet behind guns and armour. I hold it in my hands. Feel the material. Look at the silver plates.

One of the General's many gifts after he mutilated me. I would always wear that dress at his parties. I was his body guard. His mistress. I didn't have a choice. He didn't trust me then. Early years. I had just finished my two year training when he first presented it.

In training, it is never to the death. The Republic was smarter than the Sith. Why waste a good asset in early training? Instead, they will starve you. Sleep deprive you. Fill you with adrenals. Force you to keep going until you get it perfect. Flawlessly. Everyone is a quick learner in these conditions. No one wants the consequences. I'd rather death.

The General didn't want me to wear a slave collar. Bad impression. Shows no discipline. Not intimidating enough. Instead, he had a small control to the cybernetics over my right frontal lobe. It would deal lethal volts. Smart. Eventually, he grew lazy. Forgot the controller. His mistake. Not smart.

I shake my head out of my reverie. I slowly get undressed. Thoughts clutter my mind. Old memories. New worries. I plan this taxi trip. Think about the present as I put on a little make up. Dark coal around my eye. I leave my red hair free fall. All a little too familiar.

I stare in the full mirror when I am done. The dress is black. Undefinable material. It shimmers. Slim silver chains are straps that clip behind my neck. Leaves my shoulders exposed. I lift up a hand and touch them. A small gun emerges from the right one. I stroke its head and sigh. It disappears again. The metal grafted to the bones in my arms shines a little under my crystal skin. The dress is tight. It clings to my flat, plated stomach. It follows the bend of my generous chest. Highlights my curved hips. It's V neckline is low.

The back is open and loose. Ending in a point at the very end of my lower back. It reveals the thin silver plating the decorates and protects my spine. The dress is long, giving an air of elegance. Two long slits along either side of my body that stop at my waist. They reveal clear, lean legs and white hips. Under the black silk is a layer of small, rectangular plates of steel joined by tiny silver circles. Flashing when I walk. There is a heavy silver belt of chain hanging tightly around my waist. It has a holster. I leer at myself. Not much more than a conservative dancer outfit. An expensive conservative dancers outfit.

I know why the General had it made for me. I become alluring and dangerous. Lust and fear are powerful emotions. He used me against the enemies of his rank. The Military are like the Sith. All battling to achieve individual goals. All others are expendables in their war games and grabs for power. But the General still put the Republic first. It was a bonus when the good of the Republic correlated with the good for him. And that seemed to happen a lot. Could make any circumstance suit him.

I look in the mirror and sneer at myself. Think about taking it off and just wearing my armour. This feels far too familiar. Like looking at an old friend after years that you're not sure you ended on good terms with. I shake my head and shrug. I pack the present in my bag. Check my blaster. Rockets.

I glance one last time in the mirror and walk down the steps cautiously. Walking in heels is like riding a bike. You never completely forget how. It's been over fifteen minutes. Torian and Blizz are already waiting. Blizz is actually in something close to nice. Same as his usual misshapen, dirty outfit only this one is black and still in one piece.

I quickly glance at Torian, approve of his shining armour, notice his opening and closing mouth and then quickly look away. I am vulnerable and self-conscious under his gaze. It roams over me; a man who has seen water after days in the Dune Sea. I shift uncomfortably. Only Torian can make do that. I haven't enjoyed lust in another man's eyes for ten years. I never thought I would really see it again. Not in Torian's eyes. Not after my decay. Do not hope.

I stand between them, eyes on the exit.

'Ready to go?' I walk out before they can reply. I feel his eyes watch my back. Red and hot.


-----

Note:
Spoiler

Magdalane's Avatar


Magdalane
10.19.2012 , 05:03 AM | #80
I thought the voice was perfect, and wish Miriah could loan her something that didn't bring back such memories.
Love is the strongest magic of them all.