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Formal Apology to the Galactic Republic

Ashes_Arizona's Avatar

01.23.2012 , 02:46 PM | #1
From the Desk of the Dark Council
Korriban Academy, Korriban
15 ATC

It has come to our attention that in the years following the sacking of Coruscant that you have had struggles and economic disturbances which have put great strain on the once great Galactic Republic and as such a massive issue with population migration and overall strains on your operational capability are evident.

We would like to express our concerns and condolences over this state of affairs. And would like to at this time simply say that you have our gravest apologies, in this time of trial, and we recognize your current plight and struggle.

It is with our sincerest apologies that we must say the heroes and combatants of your glorious Republic just, simply, are not cool, in any way. They are, unfortunately, so not cool, that to be any less cool they would become cool for being so uncool. This is not something we have any direct control over, and if we did, Imperial Intelligence would already be hard at work behind the scenes on many Republic worlds, doing our best to make your heroes cooler, simply because fighting badly dressed, ill trained, cliche spouting stereo-types is a horrible waste of the time of our Empire's best and brightest, who are, without a doubt, far cooler than any cream of the crop the Republic appears to be able to offer.

The Emperor informs us that this is the expected state of affairs at this time, but not to worry, citizens of the Galactic Republic, things will get better for you in due time, and he also mentioned that you might want to start looking around for someone named Skywalker and ensure they're quietly protected and taken care of for a fair amount of time...whatever that may mean, we do not know, the mind of the Emperor is a difficult thing to grasp even for the most accomplished members of this Council. Perhaps this "Skywalker" is destined to bring coolness back to the Republic.

Again, our condolences,
Darth Ravage
Dark Council
Korriban Academy

Artthen's Avatar

04.25.2012 , 11:21 PM | #2
Because the previous thread has exceeded our normal threshold for thread length, we've started this new thread for the community. Thank you and enjoy the discussion!

DarthThuzad's Avatar

04.25.2012 , 11:29 PM | #3
Thread Five is here!

For folks just getting started, follow each mod link until you get to the first. That said,

Spoilers abound, yo.
Azear- Sith Juggernaut Sinshara-Sith Assassin
Melee Forever- Powertech Vashara - Sith Sorcerer

<Morons and Mayhem >

xWKSxTabor's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 12:51 AM | #4
Woohoo! Broke the thread again. We are just too damn good.

Karaiblis's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 12:56 AM | #5
Lol, throw the link of the first one up in your post Thuzad! Makes it easier. Grats everyone on a shiny new thread.
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Mayams's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 03:04 AM | #6
From the Stack of Mostly Unused Bar Napkins of the Ord Mantell Cantina

Dear guys with long titles that sound like degrees of Freeforcery,

We of The Galactic Courrier's Trade Union local 127, upon review of way too many of your respective communique, have decided to join in arms of brotherhood with the Empirial Document and Parcel Delivery Union local 486 to lobby for an immediate ceasing of all interpersonal communications between the respective factions and their representitives or commensurate hazardous compensation retro active.

As an appointed representative (as far as you know), the Galactic Courriers have asked me to pass on our stand in allegiance, in protest of the senseless murder of literally hundreds of our Imperial brethren slain for presenting communications considered "disagreeable" in tone to primarily the Sith Lords and their office staffs respective. To a lesser degree, we members of the Galactic Courriers 127th would also like to protest the extraordinary amount of time the Jedi Consulars, Knights and co-ruling counseling bodies spend staring at the communications delivered in this present "Cold War" of propoganda while stroking their goatees in a thoughtful and overly dramatic fashion.

We may be but part of the peripheral services involved in the carrying out of your respective campaigns but we see ourselves as a vital part and due appropriate levels of respect and compensation. Our short list of demands, which we feel are well with in reason, are as follows:

Without exception, any frustrations rising from the contents of said communique will not be tolerated as valid reasoning for:
A) Stabbing anyone in, on, about, or around the face or genitals, most particularly by light saber. Survivable flesh wounds will be considered on a case by case basis and subject to the rulings of an independant counsel upon request of any involved parties. The judgements and compensations advised will be observed and respected by all parties with consideration also given to the appeals process.
B) As a matter of course this edict extends to the use of any "lethal" weapons (known or unknown) employeed at the time of or any reasonable time frame there after delivery. Any questionable instances of death or maiming resultant of bounties visited upon courrier will be automatically subject to investigation and cooperation with and respect of the determination of the investigating body implicit.
C) Any misuse of "the Force". Including but not limited to choking, throwing, telekinetics with the goal of harm to courrier, persuasion, blinding / deafening / advertantly caused loss of any of the 5 "common" senses, any effect causing normally internal parts of the biological organism to become external, folding / misshaping / or dismemberment of courrier into any semblance of "origami" or otherwise "folded art", or intentional influence to cause the releasing of courriers bladder and or bowels (to the extent that such event is caused by any external influences)
D) The use of "Lightning Spam", ever. For any reason. Ever.
E) Upon reciept of any packages and or documents, valid signature of reciept will be required at that time. Sufficient time, as determined by the representatives of each respective chapter, will be alotted for due consideration of the material and appropriate formulation of response for return shipment. Beyond the time alotted, monies or agreeable forms of compensation will be charged at a rate as set forth by chapter representatives. As necessary per case, considered and appropriate lodging may also be required. Any intentions beyond afore mentioned reception of material must also be communicated verbally. Intense, prolonged staring and guttural, intimidating bellows will not be considered valid communications of intent beyond a base, overwhelming feeling of discomfort and fear in the courrier to whom they are directed.

Failure to come to agreement in any of the above forth set conditions and considerations will likely result in us delivering your communications anyway as we are utterly petrified by each and every last damn one of you.

We thank you in advance for your due consideration in these matters. Please feel free to direct any questions, comments or points of debate to Table #3, Ord Mantell Cantina, Care Of Chief Courrier Jeffe... I mean uh... Wang, The Gree fellow, not Jeffery the cyborg with the limp.


High Vaunted Pontiff Supreme of Boxes and Envelopes and Stuff,
Jeffer... I mean,
Wang, the Chartruesse Dodecahedron of Something Or Other.

P.S We'd like be to absolutley clear on the point about using "Lightning Spam" ever again. Ever.
If we discover a complete theory, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason—for then we should know the mind of God.

Maaruin's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 09:24 AM | #7
Quote: Originally Posted by Mayams View Post
From the Stack of Mostly Unused Bar Napkins of the Ord Mantell Cantina


Okay, now, again a short introduction for those are new here. If there are some. This started out with the post you see, but we changed it into a totally different RP. It takes place after the SWTOR story and has several of the ingame characters interacting with each other.

In the course of events, the (light side) Sith warrior Darth Isaac Alabaster has started a rebellion called Omega inside the Empire. He works together with Jedi Master Raii who is destined to kill the Emperor one day.
On the other side Darth Nox (Inquisitor) is working against the rebellion. But in secret she is plotting against the Emperor to become Empress herself one day.

There are other characters on both sides:

Darth Proventus (Sith Warrior) - Empire
Admiral Wingran - Empire
Dark Raii (ghost) - Empire

Darth Khryseai / Kovrai - Omega
Zhara Sindri (Jedi Knight) - Republic/Omega
Erlunas Marr (Jedi Consular) - Republic/Omega
Washington Alabaster (Agent) - Omega
Skradin Alabaster (Bounty Hunter) - Omega
a padawan whose name I forgot - Republic/Omega

And several NPCs, including companions, of course.

There are two different kinds of scenes:

canon - what happens in the story
non-canon - just for fun, tends to be more soap-ish

Everyone is welcome to read an also welcome to join. But we have progressed in the story so far, that it might be difficult to introduce new characters. Maybe better wait for the second RP we plan start when we have finished this one.
"I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side… Sith Lords, we called ourselves. So proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid… hid from those we had betrayed. We fell… and I knew it would be so."
-Ajunta Pall

LogicLoup's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 11:19 AM | #8
Great job breaking it, guys!

Quote: Originally Posted by Maaruin View Post
a padawan whose name I forgot - Republic/Omega
I think this is Tielle? She's been awfully quiet, though.

"I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them."

drfumblez's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 11:29 AM | #9
I think Tielle was just a plot device to further KovRaii.
Was it Yadira?

Maaruin's Avatar

04.26.2012 , 11:44 AM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by drfumblez View Post
I think Tielle was just a plot device to further KovRaii.
Was it Yadira?
I thought she was intended to become a PC. The note refers to Tielle, not Yadira.
"I was one of many. We were servants of the dark side… Sith Lords, we called ourselves. So proud. In the end we were not so proud. We hid… hid from those we had betrayed. We fell… and I knew it would be so."
-Ajunta Pall