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THIS Sage does NOT need a Nerf.

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Classes
THIS Sage does NOT need a Nerf.

Teepster's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 07:21 PM | #1
I am a Sage and I cannot help but notice that there are a vocal bunch of people who are asking the powers that be for my class to be nerfed. Dude. I wear a dress. How is that for a nerf? My first companion if a friggin’ lizard who can’t learn to wield anything but THE most gimp weapon in the known galaxy. How is that for a nerf? This weapon is so bad that no one in the entire history of the Republic has bothered to make a moddable version of it. Why? Because NO ONE USES IT except mentally-challenged lizards.

Me: Look at that awesome Vibrosword?

Qyzen: Forget that.

Me: Your weapon sucks.

Qyzen: You wear a skirt.

Now, I understand that some people genuinely feel that I come with too much awesome. But, let’s take a step back and realize a few things. My awesomeness saves lives. BAM. I just saved that kitten. BAM. I just force-shielded that orphan. If you want to nerf me than you are indirectly murdering orphan kittens. Wrap your mind-grapes around that knowledge.

“You have too much of a force pool.” Don’t hate. That leads to the Dark side. And, I call shenanigans on anyone who says it is infinite. It isn’t. Anyone who has healed a bunch of dual-wielding, cannon-toting psychos as they attack entire Imperial capital ships knows there is nothing infinite about our force pool. If my pool was infinite, I would never need Noble Sacrifice. And, to those people who say that Noble Sacrifice is the reason my pool is infinite, I would like to point out the minor fact that it KILLS ME. It ain’t called Noble Massage. You cannot find this skill under the heading Noble Backrub. It’s SACRIFICE. You think I pop that skill for kicks? It hurts. If you do not believe me, please stop what you are doing right now and instantly remove 12% of your blood. You feel OP now? I thought so.

“You are hard to kill.” Dude. I am a doctor. I spent years studying the force and countless hours working my way through medical school at Tython to do what I do. So, yeah. It should be hard to kill me. Plus, keep this in mind: My best friend’s whole life is based on an imaginary score he keeps in his head and my girl-friend never takes off her clown make-up. You think that intimidates people? If I was not good at keeping myself alive, I would never have survived high school. If you don’t think that level of social awkwardness makes you tough, think again my friend.

“You can do almost everything.” That is just ridiculous. If I could do everything, I would force-choke Darth Malgus right now and stop George Lucas from changing Episodes IV-VI. But, I can’t. Here is a list of some things I can’t do as well:

1. Tank. I can’t tank. With the exception of small children and warm summer breezes, I cannot tank…at all. Now, I love being a Sage but I have to keep it real. Tanking is just something that we are not built for. Now, I have held off three imperial soldiers simultaneously and killed them all, but that is not tanking. That is just an example of how we are dangerous, psycho killers when pushed in a corner. Let me put it to you this way: When you accidentally force push the family dinner off the table and into the wall, you do not “Tank” your Daddy’s belt. Unless I am sadly mistaken, huddling in the fetal position and getting beat does not qualify as “Tanking.” I see my buddies Pertinax, Vakkus and Jokersgrin tank all the time and I swear that crying and wailing is not part of the tanking process. So, when you draw the aggro of a rancor and get beat into the floor, you are not “tanking the boss.” You, my friend, are getting whooped. There is a difference. On the flip side, when I am force pushing dirt up a Sith’s nose and dropping old droids on their skulls, they are not tanking me either. They are becoming homicide victims. Again, there is a difference.

2. I can heal like a team of trauma surgeons or I can move mountains in the direction of your face, but I CANNOT DO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. That is just reality. I am able to do one thing really well at a time. But, so can everyone else. Remember that time I was hard to kill? Remember that time I caused an avalanche of rocks to assail you and your friends? Well, please also recall that these events happened at different times.

3. I can’t sprint for more than 2 seconds. I have 6 year old nephews who can sprint all day. I cannot even sprint from my bedroom to my kitchen. While I grant you that I am pretty spry for two seconds, let us not forget that after two seconds, I cannot outrun small children.

Man, I can keep going but I have vented long enough. I hate it when the servers are down for patches. Anyway, keep all that nerf talk to yourself. Next time I bring you back from the dead in the middle of a firefight in some Imperial base just thank me and leave it at that.

Much love to the Republic and my peeps on the Perlemian Trade Route. Old Guard Forever.

Force-Hugs and Kisses,

Master Teeper Lightstorm.

syntxerr's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 07:40 PM | #2
Hahaha, thank you very much for that awesome read and late night laughter.

I agree with you, all those calling for Sage nerfs should experience PVP situations at 50 and not take the teens as an example where most classes lack far behind in terms of utility.

stephenjohnp's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 08:07 PM | #3
Ultimately, Sage/Sorcs are OP and should be nerfed.


slowantics's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 08:11 PM | #4
they arnt really nerfiing you guys. just a fix. theyll prob move the better talents to the top of the tree. as it should be

Caelrie's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 09:11 PM | #5
Has anything specific actually been mentioned? Or are you guys just guessing?

Kallti's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 09:28 PM | #6
Lol, I love it.

Juggler's Avatar

02.07.2012 , 09:46 PM | #7
You can sprint thru fire without taking damage
you can pull friends around the map
you can push all ppl around you away and lock them there
you can stun ppl even infight for 1 minute + the normal one

yes you arent overpowered right -.-

there are classes that lack such tools totally
and i even havent mentioned you immun bubble which seems to have a cd of 1 second

when you look onto the pvp scores there are enought sages that do alot of heal AND damage

definitly no nerf needed just remove all other classes so we all play sages

Sayc's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 01:13 AM | #8
Have my babies plz.
Edit: oh my god its teepster! I missed you and your rk threads.

Aethyriel's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 01:19 AM | #9
didn't expect it to be funny... nice

btw, also nice to see how nobody actually read the whole thing and answered srsly to this..^^

SpankyMcFlych's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 01:43 AM | #10
Won't someone please think of the orphan kittens!

Oh the humanity!