I think it's about time we discuss the Battle of Endor. We see a lot of talk about how the Empire was taken out by Ewoks, so obviously Imperial troops can't fight at all. I've decided to discuss this. Rather than try to explain, I'll let a survivor of Endor do it for me.

Hume Tarl. I served six years in Tempest Force, rising to sergeant. We were one of the finest legions in the New Order. Saw action on Kashyyyk, Marcelan Prime, Sarko, Aurimaus, and a lot of other places you never head of. We were on the Endor Moon for nine months- nine months at the back of beyond, with occasional liberty on Annaj. You've never been to Annah, Miss Towani, but trust me- only someone doing time on the Endor Moon could find it interesting.

Our survey teams had discovered the indigenes, of course- you think we'd establish a shield generator protecting a project of this importance without a thorough survey? They were primitives- hairy dwarf bipeds with spears and slings, living in tree houses. We paid them no mind-they didn't seem inclined to cause problems begging or stealing things, which is what most abos like to do. That would have led to an excision within a defined perimeter. But like I said, they seemed afraid of us- they didn't like approaching the shield generator. And we didn't think we'd be staying long enough for them to get acclimated and become a problem.

We were all on edge. Emperor Palpatine was aboard the Death Star- we'd shined up the plastoid and deployed aboard the battle station a few days earlier for a big ceremony to mark his arrival. I only saw him across the hangar, but even from far away your eyes were drawn to him.

We were protecting our Emperor- and we also knew there were Rebel agents on the moon. We'd had a speeder bike patrol go missing and we were on high alert. The the craziest thing happened: A Rebel surrendered himself to us and handed over an old Jedi laser sword. I didn't know it was Luke Skywalker- he seemed awfully short to be the most wanted Rebel in the galaxy. Skywalker claimed he was alone, but nobody believed that- I'd heard stories about the Jedi, but no way just one of them could take out an entire patrol. Lord Vader took him up the gravity well on a shuttle, and I assumed that would be the last the galaxy would ever hear of him.

The next day the Rebel fleet arrived, and we were attacked by Rebel guerillas who'd been hiding in the woods. We captured them, and word was that the orbital battle was going the way the Emperor had planned. The officers were even talking about how we'd always remember the day we witnessed the end of the Rebellion.

And then it happened- the indigenes attacked.

I've seen the holo-thrillers, and those directors should admit they're paid to tell New Republic lies. They make those things- those Ewoks- look cute, like stuffed toys. I was there, Miss Towani. They weren't anything close to cute.

The first wave of troopers died with arrows through the gaps of their armor. The indigenes were primitive, but later I read about the bows they'd used, how they were engineered for immense leverage. I saw troopers falling with arrows that had gone completely through their throats. They were the lucky ones- some of our men took what looked like minor wounds, and minutes later they were clawing their helmets off and gasping for air. The abos had dipped their arrows in some kind of nerve toxin that paralyzed every muscle in the body. Troopers who got hit suffocated because their lungs wouldn't work. I saw dying men staring at the sun, trying to blink.

Some of our men chased the indigenes into the woods and fell into hidden pits lined with stakes fixed in the ground. Scout Troopers flew into trip wires that broke their necks. Elsewhere the indigenes overpowered troopers through sheer numbers, holding them down until they got their helmets off and other abos could kill them with stone axes and knives made of volcanic glass.

And every time one of our men fell, the indigenes had another blaster. They knew every tree and rock, and they picked us off one by one.

You look like you don't believe me, but I was there. I saw what those Ewoks did. The historians love to talk about alleged Imperial atrocities, but what about what I saw on the Forest Moon? They slaughtered us like animals, Miss Towani. Shouldn't that count as an atrocity?

In addition to having a significant terrain and numbers advantage, the Ewoks had a collection of the best Rebel fighters and the best gunslinger in the galaxy fighting with them. It is my belief that Endor should not be used as a tool to bring the Empire down. It was a military failure, yes. But it is clear that the Ewoks had several key advantages in their favor.

Hot damn! I mean....WOW. I kinda figured most of the stuff out before this(IE: Ewoks knowing the terrain, setting traps and so forth) but I didn't know about the arrows being posioned. I also kinda figured about the bashing their heads in seeing as you see that in the movie a little bit. But ya....nice stuff lol.

I found it interesting as well. Those Ewoks sure are resourceful. And kinda savage, too.

I think we do also find some examples of indigenous people winning battles against superior armed and armored invaders in our own history.

What we do not have evidence for is inferior armed armies consistently winning battle after battle and so deciding a war. That's also not what was happening on Endor. The Ewoks perfectly leveraged their knowledge of the terrain; in addition to being grossly underestimated by the imperial forces this made for the win of the battle.

I do not think the Ewoks would have had a chance against imperial forces if they would have been pressed on after that one initial battle. If the Empire would have decided to wipe out all Ewoks they would have succeeded eventually, this is pretty clear to me. Fortunately this one battle was all that was needed to win the war. But without all the other events happening as they did, the Ewoks would have deeply regretted their assault on the Empire.

And I do not think it is in any way indicative of the Empires military prowess that the lost this surprise battle. If it is indicative of something, it shows the arrogance and inherent racism of the Galactic Empire.

I think we do also find some examples of indigenous people winning battles against superior armed and armored invaders in our own history.

What we do not have evidence for is inferior armed armies consistently winning battle after battle and so deciding a war. That's also not what was happening on Endor. The Ewoks perfectly leveraged their knowledge of the terrain; in addition to being grossly underestimated by the imperial forces this made for the win of the battle.

 

I do not think the Ewoks would have had a chance against imperial forces if they would have been pressed on after that one initial battle. If the Empire would have decided to wipe out all Ewoks they would have succeeded eventually, this is pretty clear to me. Fortunately this one battle was all that was needed to win the war. But without all the other events happening as they did, the Ewoks would have deeply regretted their assault on the Empire.

 

And I do not think it is in any way indicative of the Empires military prowess that the lost this surprise battle. If it is indicative of something, it shows the arrogance and inherent racism of the Galactic Empire.

Well said.

You look like you don't believe me, but I was there. I saw what those Ewoks did. The historians love to talk about alleged Imperial atrocities, but what about what I saw on the Forest Moon? They slaughtered us like animals, Miss Towani. Shouldn't that count as an atrocity?

I nearly died right here...

Aurbere you made my day!

Good read, yes I like to harp on the "teddy bears killed the Empire" bandwagon, but I understand the In-Universe explanation. I'd like to see at least a short film from an imp's perspective on that fight. Make the ewoks demon critters would be awesome.

I found it interesting as well. Those Ewoks sure are resourceful. And kinda savage, too.

Kinda of? Remember the celebration where they are beating on the helmets? What makes you think those helmets don't still have the heads of the troopers in them.... remember the ewoks were planning on eating the rebels they captured until their god told them not to.

Kinda of? Remember the celebration where they are beating on the helmets? What makes you think those helmets don't still have the heads of the troopers in them.... remember the ewoks were planning on eating the rebels they captured until their god told them not to.

The helmets would have sounded differently, then, and wouldn't have been swinging from side to side that easily because of the movement-slowing mass inside of the helmets. And the sound wouldn't have been that "hollow".

The helmets would have sounded differently, then, and wouldn't have been swinging from side to side that easily because of the movement-slowing mass inside of the helmets. And the sound wouldn't have been that "hollow".

Maybe they ate the brains and stuff already....

I think we do also find some examples of indigenous people winning battles against superior armed and armored invaders in our own history.

What we do not have evidence for is inferior armed armies consistently winning battle after battle and so deciding a war. That's also not what was happening on Endor. The Ewoks perfectly leveraged their knowledge of the terrain; in addition to being grossly underestimated by the imperial forces this made for the win of the battle.

 

I do not think the Ewoks would have had a chance against imperial forces if they would have been pressed on after that one initial battle. If the Empire would have decided to wipe out all Ewoks they would have succeeded eventually, this is pretty clear to me. Fortunately this one battle was all that was needed to win the war. But without all the other events happening as they did, the Ewoks would have deeply regretted their assault on the Empire.

 

And I do not think it is in any way indicative of the Empires military prowess that the lost this surprise battle. If it is indicative of something, it shows the arrogance and inherent racism of the Galactic Empire.

Sorry, no, there is no battle in our history that could be paralleled to what happened on Endor. Armored soldiers with heavy weaponry got overrun by stone aged teddy bears with slingshots and bows and arrows. It sucks, I know, but George Lucas needed some kid friendly merchandising opportunities and we got murder-bears and staggering Imperial incompetence.

Sorry, no, there is no battle in our history that could be paralleled to what happened on Endor. Armored soldiers with heavy weaponry got overrun by stone aged teddy bears with slingshots and bows and arrows. It sucks, I know, but George Lucas needed some kid friendly merchandising opportunities and we got murder-bears and staggering Imperial incompetence.

The Vietnam War...

(which by the way was the image that Lucas was trying to portray with this battle)

Sorry, no, there is no battle in our history that could be paralleled to what happened on Endor. Armored soldiers with heavy weaponry got overrun by stone aged teddy bears with slingshots and bows and arrows. It sucks, I know, but George Lucas needed some kid friendly merchandising opportunities and we got murder-bears and staggering Imperial incompetence.

Keep in mind that these same teddy bears captured the Rebels most elite commando team and was about to cook and eat them until the Force user managed to trick them into thinking that his droid was an angry god that was about to smite them all.

Sorry, no, there is no battle in our history that could be paralleled to what happened on Endor. Armored soldiers with heavy weaponry got overrun by stone aged teddy bears with slingshots and bows and arrows. It sucks, I know, but George Lucas needed some kid friendly merchandising opportunities and we got murder-bears and staggering Imperial incompetence.

Come back when your not under the influence of whatever opinionated liquor your swilling.

Keep in mind that these same teddy bears captured the Rebels most elite commando team and was about to cook and eat them until the Force user managed to trick them into thinking that his droid was an angry god that was about to smite them all.

Well they really just captured Chewie, Han and Luke along with R2 and 3PO. The Rebel SpecForce headed towards the Shield Generator.

But yes I see your point about it, though Chewie was hungry!

I understand your suffering, really. Oh well, there's always the prequel bashing bandwagon to jump on to, right?

Star Wars Episode 2.... a story of one angst filled teen and his obsessive hatred of Sand.

Star Wars Episode 2.... a story of one angst filled teen and his obsessive hatred of Sand.

Feels good, doesn't it?

My hate has made me strong?

The Rebel SpecForce headed towards the Shield Generator.

Do we actually see them fighting during the battle over the shield generator? I don't remember anybody but the Ewoks and the main cast.

My hate has made me strong?

Do we actually see them fighting during the battle over the shield generator? I don't remember anybody but the Ewoks and the main cast.

Yes we do, not directly but a sort of side show kinda thing. You see em but you don't actually see them ya know?

This

This

This

are really the only scenes you can see clearly of the Rebel SpecForce actually fighting. There were some in the background when the Ewoks came about, but you can't really see them all too well among also later showing. Mostly the battle just seemed to center on the Ewoks and the main Star Wars cast.

Oh I'm sorry, let my apologise on Aurbere's behalf for spoiling that little meme for you. I understand your suffering, really. Oh well, there's always the prequel bashing bandwagon to jump on to, right?

 

Come back when your not under the influence of whatever opinionated liquor your swilling.

Yes, because the "EVERY FACET OF STAR WARS IS PURE AND PERFECT AND MAKES COMPLETE SENSE IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY!!" crowd is so much better.

Yes, because the "EVERY FACET OF STAR WARS IS PURE AND PERFECT AND MAKES COMPLETE SENSE IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY!!" crowd is so much better.

I'd ask you to join but clearly your still intoxicated.

The Vietnam War...

 

(which by the way was the image that Lucas was trying to portray with this battle)

The Vietnamese used guns, and explosives. American soldiers weren't living in terror of slingshots and bows and arrows. To get an equivalent to Endor you'd need to like...replace the French at Agincourt with a modern Infantry Battallion, and still have them lose because of those darn English super longbows.