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Star Wars: The Joke Corner

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Jonathamus
01.23.2012 , 12:52 AM | #1
I didn't find any topics about Star Wars based jokes?
So i figured out, why don't start one. Here it goes then!

Q: When did Anakin's Jedi teachers know he was going bad?
A: In the Sith Grade.

Q: What do you call a Sith who won't fight?
A: A Sithy.

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together.

Q: What's the differance between an ATAT and a stormtrooper?
A: One's an Imperial walker and the other is a walking Imperial.

Q: What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa.... AGGGHHHH! Thump"?
A: An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.

Q: Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?
A: The ship might crack up.

Q: Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?
A: Darth Waiter.

Q: Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?
A: Because a Jedi must have patience.

Q: What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?
A: Chewie!

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Jonathamus
01.23.2012 , 12:56 AM | #2
You Might be a Redneck Jedi If...

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

* Wookies are offended by your B.O.

* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

* Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master".

* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.

* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.

* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.

* If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!"

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Jonathamus
01.23.2012 , 12:58 AM | #3
Top 10 Reasons Anakin Skywalker Went to the Dark Side

1. Wanted cool voice like James Earl Jones'

2. Owed money to Jabba the Hutt, could refinance debt through the Empire

3. Wanted to use the Force to prop up Chrysler stock

4. Charmed by Emporer Palpatine's seductive after-shave

5. Misunderstood name, thought the "Dirk Side" was fan club for pretty-boy actor Dirk Benedict

6. Kicked in head by bantha

7. To impress the babes

8. To escape cruel taunting over dorky name

9. Sick and tired of mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi reciting lines from "Bridge over the River Kwai"

10. Generous Dark Lords of the Sith pension plan

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Jonathamus
01.23.2012 , 06:54 AM | #4
The Top 12 Things Uttered by Yoda While Making Love



12. "Ahhh! Yoda's little friend you seek!"

11. "Urm. Put a shield on my saber I must."

10. "Feel the force!"

9. "Foreplay, cuddling - a Jedi craves not these things."

8. "Down here, I am. Find a ladder, I must!"

7. "Do me or do me not - there is no try."

6. "Early must I rise. Leave now you must!"

5. "You know, this would be a lot more fun without Frank Oz's hand up my ***."

4. "Happens to every guy sometimes this does."

3. "When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmm?"

2. "Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

1. "Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"

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Jonathamus
01.26.2012 , 04:41 AM | #5
Luke vs. Vader

Funny picture from history of mankind...