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The Star Wars Lore Comedy Thread!

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > STAR WARS Discussion
The Star Wars Lore Comedy Thread!

bionamaster's Avatar


bionamaster
05.21.2013 , 04:54 PM | #1
*You find yourself in a nightclub on Nar Shaddaa. People of every faction, race, and class are all around. All of a sudden, spotlights shine on a stage, and a Jedi Knight in armor and robes walks onto the stage! You recognize him as Parrius Tremarr, a.k.a Bionamaster, a relatively prominent Knight within the Jedi Order. But what's he doing here? You'll find out. Fanfare starts playing, and you take a seat.*


Announcer: Hey there, folks, and welcome to the First Galactic Comedy Hour! I'm your host, Baron Deathmark! Now, none of you here know where we are. So, I'll explain. We recently converted our Huttball stadium into a nightclub! Every day, every night, 24/7, EVERYONE here will be able to come up with sufficiently Star Wars-y jokes, puns, or riddles, and post them on this here thread.

A few ground rules: This is about lore. Lore pertaining to the popular holo-game SWTOR is fine, although cruel jokes or troll jokes targeted at the game, other players (unless they give consent), or any troll posts in general, will be disregarded. Please remain civil in your comedy, or we will make you deliver the Emperor some distressing news! In-character delivery is good, but not mandatory. Riddles and/or puns (when applicable) should have their answers put in Spoiler boxes, like
Spoiler
Rules subject to change.

Now, our first volunteer, Bionamaster, has agreed to lend us some of his puns that I'm sure you'll all love to laugh or groan at! Don't worry, twenty snipers are aiming at him right now, so bad puns will be......PUN-ished! *ba dum tssh*. *All twenty snipers shift their rifles to point at Deathmark, who pales visibly.* Errm, uh, okay. Now, let's start the MAYHEEEEEEM!

Bionamaster: Hey there, folks. Pleasure to be here. Without further ado:

Q: What's the secret ingredient in Emperor Palpatine's famous Wookiee Cookies?
A:
Spoiler


Okay, that's all I've got for now. Feel free to post your own, I'd love to hear them!
Reminder: Mechanized posting is for non-trolling business only. Enjoy your stay.
Parrius, Level 55 Jedi Sentinel Parian, Level 20 Commando
Tremarr Legacy, CE Subbed since Launch, Shadowlands Server
For the Republic!

TheBBP's Avatar


TheBBP
05.21.2013 , 05:05 PM | #2
<pulls up a dish of deep-fried Gundark Ears and waits for the show to begin>
Master No'ja Vace -The Ebon Hawk Server
Co-Leader, The Way of the Maker - Family style Christian guild.

bionamaster's Avatar


bionamaster
05.21.2013 , 05:09 PM | #3
Quote: Originally Posted by TheBBP View Post
<pulls up a dish of deep-fried Gundark Ears and waits for the show to begin>
Aaaaaany second now, lol. *grabs a Rodian Mayo Sandwich and takes a seat.*


Anyway, another pun:

Q: What did Watcher One say to the bartender?
A:
Spoiler
Reminder: Mechanized posting is for non-trolling business only. Enjoy your stay.
Parrius, Level 55 Jedi Sentinel Parian, Level 20 Commando
Tremarr Legacy, CE Subbed since Launch, Shadowlands Server
For the Republic!

Selenial's Avatar


Selenial
05.21.2013 , 05:23 PM | #4
When Darth Baras lies around the citadel... He lies AROUND The citadel!


Darth Baras is so fat, when he dyed his armor yellow, everyone started yelling taxi!
The Mandalorian Wars were a series of massacres that masked another war, a war of conversion. Culminating in a final atrocity that no Jedi could walk away from… save one.
Zarys Sorcerer Cathinka Scoundrel
Force In Balance - The Harbinger

bionamaster's Avatar


bionamaster
05.21.2013 , 05:24 PM | #5
Quote: Originally Posted by Selenial View Post
When Darth Baras lies around the citadel... He lies AROUND The citadel!


Darth Baras is so fat, when he dyed his armor yellow, everyone started yelling taxi!
Lol, classic. Keep em coming
Reminder: Mechanized posting is for non-trolling business only. Enjoy your stay.
Parrius, Level 55 Jedi Sentinel Parian, Level 20 Commando
Tremarr Legacy, CE Subbed since Launch, Shadowlands Server
For the Republic!

bionamaster's Avatar


bionamaster
05.22.2013 , 11:54 AM | #6
(deleted for being bad, here's a better one

Q: What did the black bisector say to the orange octave?

A:
Spoiler
Reminder: Mechanized posting is for non-trolling business only. Enjoy your stay.
Parrius, Level 55 Jedi Sentinel Parian, Level 20 Commando
Tremarr Legacy, CE Subbed since Launch, Shadowlands Server
For the Republic!

StarSquirrel's Avatar


StarSquirrel
05.22.2013 , 02:02 PM | #7
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chrono?

A:
Spoiler


-courtesy of Jacen Solo
"Being abandoned to my enemies, abandoned by one for whom I once had considerable affection and respect, was like being murdered…and surviving."
-Darth Caedus

bionamaster's Avatar


bionamaster
05.23.2013 , 01:01 PM | #8
Quote: Originally Posted by StarSquirrel View Post
Q: What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chrono?

A:
Spoiler


-courtesy of Jacen Solo
Lol, laughed out loud. Keep em coming
Reminder: Mechanized posting is for non-trolling business only. Enjoy your stay.
Parrius, Level 55 Jedi Sentinel Parian, Level 20 Commando
Tremarr Legacy, CE Subbed since Launch, Shadowlands Server
For the Republic!

Noblis's Avatar


Noblis
05.25.2013 , 04:00 AM | #9
I just flew in from Coruscant, and boy are my arms tired!

The Galactic Senate is the best legislature that money can buy.
Corruption starts in the streets with the little peddlers.
They bribe an assemblyman, the assemblyman bribes a councilman, the councilman bribes a senator,
and the senator -- it goes all the way up to the Emperor ...
Taxi !
Hold up ! If we save Han now, there won't be anything for us to do at the beginning
of ROTJ !

StarSquirrel's Avatar


StarSquirrel
05.25.2013 , 05:21 PM | #10
A dark robed figure moved across the stage, reaching the mic, he surveys the crowd before him from beneath the cloak that dips low enough to shroud his face. No, he surveys the room through the force alone. His chilling presence passes over each individual making many shift in their seats and cough nervously.

The mysterious individual seems extremely out of place, until he sweeps back his hood to reveal a young jedi named Jacen Solo. "Gotacha! Bet ya'll thought I was old palps or something! On the topic of sadistic monsters,"

What do you call a person who brings a rancor it's dinner?

Spoiler
"Being abandoned to my enemies, abandoned by one for whom I once had considerable affection and respect, was like being murdered…and surviving."
-Darth Caedus