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The Credit, The Coin, And The Player

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > General Discussion
The Credit, The Coin, And The Player

Tordos's Avatar


Tordos
03.14.2013 , 04:36 PM | #1
Sheriff Credit is faced with a real threat, No-Guilt "Coinster" BuyMorePacks is back in town and now wants people to join his mob in an exclusive reputation grinding crusade! The citizens of SWTORville run to their ships to secure their precious virtual goods. Some are bold and take to the streets, "We want content!", "We love packs!". Tensions rise and Credit is reminded of his importance to the people... if he let's Coins' gain power there would be no end to monetizing the town!

"You've crossed the line, Coins', you've corrupted our content supply and want to change the face of this here game by gougin' everyone in sight! Well, not while the players still value me. This ends now!"

"It ain't your town no longer, Sheriff! People don't care about you. Time? Effort? You're gettin' old! Nobody cares about your sense of challenge and earning things. It's about coins baby! Recolored clothing, leveling without playing, instant satisfaction! And it's gonna make me rich! This town ain't got room for you ol' timer! So why don't you and your little founder friends go scurry off now before I lay y'all to waste!"

"I AM The Old Republic fool! I made this town great, gave players a sense of achievement, corridor worlds, repetitive quests, commendation grinding that people are willing to spend ours doing over and over again but you want to destroy it! I'm gonna ask you one more time, No-Guilt, stop threatening my subscribers with your cash-all ways and stick to the fluff shops where you belong!"

"Or what? You have no idea how many of your 'subscribers' have already sided with me! We're everywhere, Sheriff, and you don't even realize it! This is a market town now boy, whether you like it or not!"

The Sheriff and No-Guilt eyed each other with great ferocity as a male sorc in a white knee-high dress on a blue tumbleweed mount past by.

"Go ahead..." said the Sheriff finally. "Make me pay."

Shots were fired, grenades were thrown, supporters on both sides rushed to the brawl as blaster and saber smoke filled Forum Blvd. Mayhem ensued.

"Enough!" shouted someone followed by a huge explosion that knocked Credit and Coins' to the ground. The smoke cleared and everyone looked around.

A dark figure emerged from the doors to the town cantina. It was a player. "This music is driving me nuts! Can't you see your tearing this town apart? While you fight over content and cash, I'm stuck on this here loading screen because you won't take the time to improve our town! People are falling through the floor, why won't you patch it up? There are rats and bugs all over the place, people want to transfer houses but can't because it's against the law, there's inequality among the classes, issues to the left, issues on the right, and all the local authorities ever do is tell us to stay home and that they will investigate the matter soon! Repugnant! Repugnant I say!"

The unknown player mounted a Tauntaun and moved toward the end of the street, "What is so hard about this? Or that?" The player pointed to a billboard in the distance with the letters G.U.I.L.D. on the side. "Have y'all forgotten what makes a town, a real gaming town, thrive? I grow tired of taking my uncle and all my alts to the same shops over and over again and seeing the same broken shelves! Get your act together or me and my friends are gone!"

The Sheriff looked at No-Guilt, who looked shaken by the player's words. "Now now, son, no need to go that far. We just want your money... I mean, to make you happy!" The Sheriff shook his head "What he means is, we care about you and the rest of the town. I admit we have made mistakes in the past but our town is still growing and we need you and all the people to make it better! So please, give us another chance?"

The unknown player looked skeptical at the two of them standing side by side now with anticipation. "I really don't know, this town and it's people have been through a lot."

No-Guilt took out a few golden coins out of his pocket. "Shiny?" he said with a grin. The Sheriff took out a map from his coat, on the top it was labelled 'Makeb'. "Content?" he said with a smile.

The player got off the Tauntaun and sighed loudly. "This is your last chance. Don't screw it up!".

FlashZappa's Avatar


FlashZappa
03.14.2013 , 04:42 PM | #2
Quote: Originally Posted by tordos View Post
sheriff credit is faced with a real threat, no-guilt "coinster" buymorepacks is back in town and now wants people to join his mob in an exclusive reputation grinding crusade! The citizens of swtorville run to their ships to secure their precious virtual goods. Some are bold and take to the streets, "we want content!" "we love packs!". Tensions rise and credit is reminded of his importance to the people... If he let's coins' gain power there would be no end to monetizing the town!

"you've crossed the line, coins', you've corrupted our content supply and want to change the face of this here game by gougin' everyone in sight! Well, not while the players still value me. This ends now!"

"it ain't your town no longer, sheriff! People don't care about you. Time? Effort? You're gettin' old! Nobody cares about your sense of challenge and earning things. It's about coins baby! Recolored clothing, leveling without playing, instant satisfaction! And it's gonna make me rich! This town ain't got room for you ol' timer! So why don't you and your little founder friends go scurry off now before i lay y'all to waste!"

"i am the old republic fool! I made this town great, gave players a sense of achievement, corridor worlds, repetitive quests, commendation grinding that people are willing to spend ours doing over and over again but you want to destroy it! I'm gonna ask you one more time, no-guilt, stop threatening my subscribers with your cash-all ways and stick to the fluff shops where you belong!"

"or what? You have no idea how many of your 'subscribers' have already sided with me! We're everywhere, sheriff, and you don't even realize it! This is a market town now boy, whether you like it or not!"

the sheriff and no-guilt eyed each other with great ferocity as a male sorc in a white knee-high dress on a blue tumbleweed mount past by.

"go ahead..." said the sheriff finally. "make me pay."

shots were fired, grenades were thrown, supporters on both sides rushed to the brawl as blaster and saber smoke filled forum blvd. Mayhem ensued.

"enough!" shouted someone followed by a huge explosion that knocked credit and coins' to the ground. The smoke cleared and everyone looked around.

A dark figure emerged from the doors to the town cantina. It was a player. "this music is driving me nuts! Can't you see your tearing this town apart? While you fight over content and cash, i'm stuck on this here loading screen because you won't take the time to improve our town! People are falling through the floor, why won't you patch it up? There are rats and bugs all over the place, people want to transfer houses but can't because it's against the law, there's inequality among the classes, issues to the left, issues on the right, and all the local authorities ever do is tell us to stay home and that they will investigate the matter soon! Repugnant! Repugnant i say!"

the unknown player mounted a tauntaun and moved toward the end of the street, "what is so hard about this? Or that?" the player pointed to a billboard in the distance with the letters g.u.i.l.d. On the side. "have y'all forgotten what makes a town, a real gaming town, thrive? I grow tired of taking my uncle and all my alts to the same shops over and over again and seeing the same broken shelves! Get your act together or me and my friends are gone!"

the sheriff looked at no-guilt, who looked shaken by the player's words. "now now, son, no need to go that far. We just want your money... I mean, to make you happy!" the sheriff shook his head "what he means is, we care about you and the rest of the town. I admit we have made mistakes in the past but our town is still growing and we need you and all the people to make it better! So please, give us another chance?"

the unknown player looked skeptical at the two of them standing side by side now with anticipation. "i really don't know, this town and it's people have been through a lot."

no-guilt took out a few golden coins out of his pocket. "shiny?" he said with a grin. The sheriff took out a map from his coat, on the top it was labelled 'makeb'. "content?" he said with a smile.

The player got off the tauntaun and sighed loudly. "this is your last chance. Don't screw it up!".
pure genius!!! A work of art!!

Levity's Avatar


Levity
03.14.2013 , 04:48 PM | #3
I had a lot of fun reading that. There was nothing holding me back from reading this in a complete "western" accent.

BlazingShadow's Avatar


BlazingShadow
03.14.2013 , 04:51 PM | #4
10/10

so pro

Davfor's Avatar


Davfor
03.14.2013 , 05:10 PM | #5
So awesome and sadly, so true but you left out the worse of the worse. The Governor EA. He tells what all those fellas are supposed to do. Gov'ner EA also fired the original Sheriff. So what we have here is Gov'ment EA putting all the towns to ruin. SWTOR included.

Tordos's Avatar


Tordos
03.14.2013 , 05:29 PM | #6
Quote: Originally Posted by Davfor View Post
So awesome and sadly, so true but you left out the worse of the worse. The Governor EA. He tells what all those fellas are supposed to do. Gov'ner EA also fired the original Sheriff. So what we have here is Gov'ment EA putting all the towns to ruin. SWTOR included.
Indeed. Maybe someone can write the sequels: "A Few Cash-Grabs More", and "A Fistful Of Destroyed Companies".

Alec_Fortescue's Avatar


Alec_Fortescue
03.14.2013 , 05:39 PM | #7
Awesome. 5 stars.

BobaScott's Avatar


BobaScott
03.14.2013 , 05:47 PM | #8
Wait, I am confused. Are we supposed to "rustle" a "posse" and run the coin guy out of town? That would be great.

chuixupu's Avatar


chuixupu
03.14.2013 , 05:53 PM | #9
+1 For creative effort
Wardens of Fate / Alea Iacta Est
The Tarkus Legacy ~ The Harbinger/Jedi Covenant

QuetzoCyote's Avatar


QuetzoCyote
03.14.2013 , 11:43 PM | #10
Wonderfully relevant and delightfully entertaining.