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The Acolyte

Ventessel's Avatar

03.25.2013 , 10:47 PM | #11
Quote: Originally Posted by Caernos View Post
3.) There are issues that need to be addressed. Thuur is supposed to be a failure as an acolyte but its never really clear why he's a failure. Everything I used to try and show that he was a failure felt weak and flimsy, so I'm going to be strongly reworking his character to make it more credible about what his problems are.
A thought.

Make him just strong enough in the Force that he has the potential to be an incredible student, but his own personal shortcomings hold him back and sabotage him. Have him take on too many responsibilities, or alienate an important Sith Lord, leading to him having a bunch of failed attempts/projects on his hands and just barely average performance in his training.

Then he'll be furious because he knows he can accomplish more, but keeps making small mistakes that trip up his efforts, leading to his instructors dismissing him as a worthless burnout, further embarrassing him. That's great set up for some almighty Sith Rage and lays the groundwork for a cunning but underpowered Sith Lord to spot his potential and make him a personal project because that Sith Lord isn't strong enough to claim a really exceptional apprentice, or even a moderate one, but he's sly and devious enough to go far and just needs a powerful trainee to make into a weapon.

Then Thuur starts to get mentorship, which helps him reach his potential, and that Sith Lord makes plans for the future that were previously impossible for someone of his power and ability in the Force, despite his manipulative genius.
The Heir to ChaosAdded Chapter Sixteen-- 17 APR 2013
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” ~ George Orwell