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The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community > Fan Fiction
The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.18.2012 , 09:39 AM | #1
Companions. Why do these hopelessly clashing people come back, day after day, to the same daycare center? And how did some of them even get here? We donít know, but maybe if we watch carefully we can begin to understandÖ

(Edit: You know what's awesome about baby companions? Drawing chibi everybody. Check out reader art over yonder! A special thank you to kabeone for the many wonderful illustrations along the way!)


KHEM VAL, tending to BABY RAINA TEMPLE: Iíve not changed such a diaper since the nurseries of Yn and Chabosh.
BABY XALEK: Bah, this weak one is not worth the trouble. Let us crush her.
KHEM VAL: No crushing the other children, even the weak ones. I will devour you as I devoured the enemies of Tulak Hord if you break the rules.
BABY XALEK: Rules are made to be crushed.
KHEM VAL: Devouring.
BABY XALEK: Fine, then.
BABY QUINN, glaring at BABY JORGAN: I donít like you. Iím not really sure why, but Iím quite certain I can come up with a compelling reason for why you need to be smacked down. UmmÖletís thinkÖah, yes! Republic scum! *commences pummeling BABY JORGAN*
BABY JORGAN: Has anybody ever told you what a jerk you are? *bites BABY QUINN with pointy Cathar teeth*
BABY QUINN, bleeding on the floor: ÖI could probably have planned this better.
BABY JORGAN smirks and goes to play with M1-4X in the corner.
BABY PIERCE, perking up: Hey, guys! Somebodyís down! Time for Kicking Somebody While Heís Down!
BABIES ANDRONIKOS, PIERCE, KALIYO, and SKADGE, gathering around the fallen BABY QUINN: Yaaaay!
BABY BROONMARK, elbowing in to assist with the kicking: Blllorp!
BABY QUINN, still bleeding: Hey! Ow!
LORD SCOURGE, who subs in for T7-01 on Tuesdays, hurries over to see what the hubbub is about.
BABY QUINN: This is not acceptable!
LORD SCOURGE, crossing his arms and overseeing the beating: Oh, it really is.
BABY QUINN: Ow! Youíre the worst caretaker ever.
LORD SCOURGE: I see youíve never met the Emperor.
BABY KIRA bursts into tears for no evident reason.
BABY XALEK: Ah, Kira. I see the Dark Side is strong in you.
BABY KIRA: *sniffle* Nuh-uh.
BABY XALEK: Uh-huh.
BABY KIRA: Is not.
BABY XALEK: Is too.
BABY KIRA: I am a good Jedi! I am in control of my emotions! *punches BABY XALEK*
BABY XALEK: Good, good. Trust your feelings, Kira. You are Sith. The Jedi are weak and will only fail you.
BABY ASHARA: Xalekís a doo-doo head. Jedi are better and prettier.
BABY KIRA: Youíre all weird! Leave me alone!
BABY GUSS TUNO: Hey, hey, can I be a Jedi?
BABY KIRA and BABY ASHARA: No.
BABY GUSS TUNO:
BABY XALEK, eyeing BABY GUSS TUNO: Ha. I will crush this weak one.
LORD SCOURGE: No crushing the other children, even the weak ones. Your Sith Code says you canít have victory until you have strength, and compared to me, you donít have strength.
BABY XALEK: Fine, then.
YOUNG BOWDAAR, coming through to wash the windows: I AM A SLAVE.


ÖThen again, maybe not.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 70+ authors to date. 1900+ stories. New prompts weekly!
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Earthmama's Avatar


Earthmama
07.18.2012 , 09:45 AM | #2
........ I'm not sure about what I just read, only that the images in my head are adorable.

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.18.2012 , 09:51 AM | #3
My husband gave me the Yn and Chabosh line and said I wouldn't do it. Joke's on him.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 70+ authors to date. 1900+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
Forever Shenanigans!
Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.

Earthmama's Avatar


Earthmama
07.18.2012 , 09:58 AM | #4
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
My husband gave me the Yn and Chabosh line and said I wouldn't do it. Joke's on him.
Hey Mr. Ephemera, any other ideas your wife can take and turn into random hilarity?

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.18.2012 , 11:22 AM | #5
Dunno if he's volunteering - he thinks encouraging me is bad - but this concept may have some mileage to go.

On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

SCORPIO, emerging from the supply closet: T7. We have run out of diapers and kolto packs.
T7-01: Running out = strange // T7-01 = bought some last week
SCORPIO, shrugging: I have no doubt that Khem Val's violence on Monday and Tuesday depleted our supplies.
T7-01: SCORPIO = probably right // T7-01 = talk to Khem about that // now T7-01 = go get more supplies
T7-01 hurries out.
SCORPIO: That has worked for twelve weeks in a row. His learning algorithms are...inadequate. Now, children. I will award a cookie to the one who most successfully asserts dominance. Proceed.
BABY ELARA: Miss SCORPIO, isn't this unethical? Forcing us into senseless violence and brutal competition for nothing but your own amusement?
SCORPIO: Not my amusement. For science.
BABY ELARA: Science is mean and probably ought to have more regulations.
SCORPIO: Your attempt to assert ethical standards is simply another behavior I expected to observe in this experiment. I predict you will fail to achieve your goals with it.
BABY SKADGE tackles BABY ELARA from behind and starts punching her.
SCORPIO: Like that.
BABY CORSO, sailing in out of nowhere: You leave her alone!
BABY CORSO and BABY ELARA wrestle with BABY SKADGE for a minute or two.
BABY SKADGE: Grr. I'm bored. Bye now.
Meanwhile, from the sidelines...
BABY VECTOR: This is not harmonious.
BABY QUINN: I agree. We should try to stop hostilities at once, for the common good. Why don't you convince everyone you can to go play quietly with their toys over there.
BABY QUINN observes the main melee. He sometimes leans in to quietly manipulate the other children's flailing limbs, ensuring that BABIES KALIYO, JORGAN, XALEK, KIRA, and PIERCE get a roughly equal amount of punishment. He monitors BABIES TEMPLE, JAESA, and TALOS to make sure they're targets of aggression, too. When BABY TEMPLE is close to extricating herself from the violence, BABY QUINN directs a frustrated BABY SKADGE her way.
BABY VECTOR assembles BABIES ELARA, CORSO, GUSS, and ASHARA by the toy bin. They discuss ways of ensuring a viable long-term peace for all. Except BABY GUSS, who mostly cowers.
The melee continues:
BABY JORGAN: Forex chant, everybody!
BABY CORSO: We don't want to have to fight -
BABY JORGAN: But by jingo, if we do -
BABY CORSO: We've got the ships -
BABY JORGAN: I've got the claws -
BABY KIRA, recovering from a bad hit and toddling back into the fray: We've got the Jedi, too!
BABY PIERCE: Psht. Imperial chant, everybody!
BABIES PIERCE, TEMPLE, and XALEK: Submit or be crushed!
BABY KIRA: That's less catchy.
BABY PIERCE: And yet surprisingly effective.
BABY QUINN places a couple of kicks to slow down BABY KALIYO and BABY XALEK, who weren't as bruised as the others yet. He watches and waits for a while.
BABY XALEK, flopping down in defeat: Jerkfaces.
BABY QUINN: That's nearly enough. Miss SCORPIO, I find myself standing between those too cowardly to fight and those too injured to keep fighting for long. Name an appropriate expression of dominance and it would seem I am in a position to execute it.
BABY PIERCE: Execute this! *throws a terrified BABY TALOS at him*
BABY TALOS and BABY QUINN collapse in a heap of fear and indignance.
SCORPIO: How interesting. It seems not everyone was too injured to keep fighting.
BABY QUINN, flat on his back: Yes. I could probably have planned this better.
SCORPIO: Do not become discouraged, little one. You will eventually learn to plan appropriately. Or you will die.
BABY ELARA: There has got to be some kind of rule against child care providers like you.
SCORPIO: None that anyone has successfully enforced. Now, Pierce. I believe you have earned a cookie.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 70+ authors to date. 1900+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
Forever Shenanigans!
Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.

kabeone's Avatar


kabeone
07.18.2012 , 02:32 PM | #6
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
Now, Pierce. I believe you have earned a cookie.
I do not have enough thumbs to put up for this line or this thread.

elliotcat's Avatar


elliotcat
07.18.2012 , 03:48 PM | #7
Bowdaar needs to just show up randomly all the time and be like "I AM A SLAVE".

Ebon Hawk: Latula // Elaeys // Raima // Jaea // Macara // Meulin // Damarra // Kanaaya

"We will snatch purpose from the jaws of futility...are you ready to wreak some havoc?"

Crezelle's Avatar


Crezelle
07.18.2012 , 03:54 PM | #8
what is this, i don't even.
Crezelle De'Chimera, of the Shadowlands
" Secret Agent Blue Booty, at your service. You Lead the way; I bring the kolto. "

greyjedibp's Avatar


greyjedibp
07.18.2012 , 04:01 PM | #9
You should add Baby Doc that would Funny

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.18.2012 , 04:09 PM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by greyjedibp View Post
You should add Baby Doc that would Funny
Baby Doc is definitely, definitely on the radar.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 70+ authors to date. 1900+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
Forever Shenanigans!
Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.