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No death, only Wrath: The Helicarrier Chronicles

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No death, only Wrath: The Helicarrier Chronicles

bright_ephemera's Avatar

11.16.2012 , 07:10 AM | #161
CHRONICLES PRESENT, 57: In which desert planets continue to be terrible places (I/II)

Time period: during Master Rho's campaign

Amidst the shifting dunes of Loborr VI lies a recessed temple gate that somehow is never fully buried. The winds of the greater desert hold no sway there.

"This'd be better with explosives," said Pierce as he and the rest of Nalenne's crew waited alongside the officership of Insanity Company.

"We blew it all up last time," said Quinn. "Repeating the scenario is simply inviting the enemy to counter us. If you weren't there for the first one, that's your own fault."

"We might have recruited him earlier," said Captain Rutau. "From all I've seen and heard, Lieutenant Pierce would be a valuable addition to the company."

"No," said Quinn and Pierce in unison.

A sand skimmer crested the nearest dune and paused. It crept a little ways down into the unnatural calm of the temple ramp. Then it stopped, and Jedi Master Rho and his associates climbed out.

Master Rho cautiously led his party to fan out facing Nalenne's group.

"Jaesa," said Kira. "This looks a lot like an ambush. Like we talked about you not doing?"

"We're here to talk," Jaesa said nervously. "Probably."

"Yeah. Right." Kira took a look around, then smiled smugly. "Still, could be worse. Hey, Mister Wrath, how're you gonna drop rocks on us this time?"

Quinn scowled. "If I wanted to, Jedi, I would find a way."

Nalenne elbowed him. "My show," she whispered. She took a step forward. "So, Rho. We really need to talk."

"If that's what it takes to get you to stand aside, Lord Nalenne."

"Did Kira tell you what your boyfriend has been up to?"

"My what?" Rho said blankly.

"Your...oh, for spite's sake. Has she told you what Lord Scourge is doing?"

"Kira was mistaken," the Mirialan said firmly. "That misunderstanding has since been cleared up."

"I told you," Kira said to Jaesa. "He won't listen."

"You really don't think your Lord Scourge has been a problem?" said Nalenne.

"No. He has been a great ally," said Rho.

"Jedi clan has a dumbest as well," observed Broonmark.

"Rho," said Nalenne, "did Scourge happen to mention that, while managing your holocalls, he turned down Doctor Godera's hysterical begging for help against the destruction of two planets a couple of months back?"

Rho started. "He did?"

"Yup. Hung right up on the man. Repeatedly. I had to pick up your slack and save those worlds myself a vocation I'd really rather not move into."

Lord Scourge gestured languidly. "Mistakes happen," he said. "Now, Master Rho. Shall we kill these interlopers and move on to the true task?"

"That's a lot of interlopers," Doc pointed out.

"Beepety boop beep," said T7-01.

"Your 'true task' is a sham," said Nalenne. "You should have listened to Kira, Jedi. The Emperor's all-consuming death vortex? That's a lie, made up by Lord Scourge to drive you into doing the dirty work for his personal vendetta. You're only here gathering his prep materials because he isn't strong enough to handle his grudge against the Emperor himself."

"You're mistaken, Nalenne." Rho spoke like he was trying to soothe a six-year-old. "The Emperor will destroy us all. It took tremendous courage for Lord Scourge to "

"To run to Republic space and start giving you a you're-so-special speech, designed to play to your ego, so you can run be the big hero and save the galaxy in a textbook example of pandering to Jedi cultural stereotypes?"

"Iuhhe said there were cultists preparing rituals to serve the Emperor's ascension. I've seen them, everywhere. I've stopped dozens."

"The death cults were mostly organized by a very bored lonely servant of the Emperor. They're pathetic, not threatening."

"Their ideas were admirable," mumbled Lieutenant Hareth resentfully, but everyone ignored her.

Lord Scourge spoke up. "Wrath. After all the time you have spent in pursuit, is this the best attack you could come up with? You and I have seen things that no other living person has. We have tasted His dark presence and survived. Surely you must understand that He must be stopped." He started walking slowly towards her. "I realize it seems strange that I should have chosen a Jedi for this task. But surely you understand why. I didn't know if I could trust you. Could I have believed that anyone in the Empire would break free of their shackles enough to do what must be done? Could I really have hoped to find the necessary strength of will?" He stopped at last, looming over her, reaching to not-quite-touch her chin. He lowered his voice to a soft, intimate tone. "Could I have known the Wrath would be you?"

Nalenne stared up at him. "Nice, really nice. That might work if I hadn't gotten laid immediately before this conversation. As it is my higher brain isn't working enough to think through this situation as hard as you're suggesting."

"I could do it better," Scourge said, flicking a disdainful look at Quinn.

"You can't even enjoy it," scoffed Nalenne.

"I don't have to, so long as I get what I want afterward."

Quinn cleared his throat. "My lord, when it comes to intimate relations that is one of the worst possible sentiments you could express to this woman. Believe me."

"Hey," said Nalenne, turning on him, "you enjoy it. Don't you?"

Quinn cast a pained look at his company. "I can answer that in private, my lord."

"You'll answer yes. Right?"

"Not the point right now, my lord."

"Oh! Right. I was busy not getting talked into anything."

"Wow," said Vette. "Quinn's Stock Line #3 actually worked."

"That's a first," marveled Pierce.

"Sith clan has developed an unexpected willingness to listen to Sith clan's dumbest and take his needs and recommendations into account," quorked Broonmark. "We are glad for Sith clan chief's happiness, but we hope it will not interfere with killing."

"I'm sure there'll be killing," Nalenne assured him. "Because I'm not getting talked into anything."

Lord Scourge cast a quick look around, obviously recalibrating his idea of who was in charge. "General the general who would have been Wrath," he said smoothly. "In a matter of this magnitude, would you leave the coming triumph to the Jedi?"

Quinn succeeded in looking down his nose at a man eight inches taller than he was. "My lord, I am an expert in unreliable narrators, so don't try. There is one Sith I follow and it isn't you."

Nalenne raised her voice. "Ladies and gentlemen, we can get on with the murder now."

"Stop!" called Rho. "Please. Lord Scourge, what are you doing?"

But Nalenne's lightsaber was already out, as were the blasters of Insanity Company. "Murdering," Scourge announced with a feral smile, and crossed sabers with Nalenne.
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MilaniGrey's Avatar

11.16.2012 , 08:17 AM | #162
Go Lord Scou--.. I mean Nalenne!
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iamthehoyden's Avatar

11.16.2012 , 09:57 AM | #163
"Seriously," said Nalenne. "Any updates? Or were you just calling to complain that your boyfriend hasn't been in touch?"
"What?" said Quinn.
"Nothing, darling," said Nalenne. "Servant Two definitely isn't a creep."
Pandarr cocked his head and looked at the others. "I'm going to count that one as true love. Agreed?"
"Stop that," muttered Quinn.
"Agreed," chorused Rutau, Ritter, Rylon, and Hareth, nodding at Pandarr.
"If that's the case, I can say that true love is a strategic and tactical disaster," grumbled Quinn.
D'awww the cuteness!!! <3
And I do believe Scourge could convince me of practically anything with that voice. Uh. Yeah.
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

bright_ephemera's Avatar

01.25.2013 , 08:47 AM | #164
No plot today, but I was just recently reminiscing with some other fic writers over fic nonsense of yore and realized that I missed writing limericks. Even bad limericks. So here, in honour of Insanity Company:

Captain Pandorr

A captain at creative peak
Made up words when he started to speak.
We found him desirous
Of planting a virus
To wipe out the wounded and weak.

Lieutenant (once Sergeant) Ritter

To promote off of Hoth, listen so:
Sergeant Ritter could tell you. He'd know.
Though you've froze to your gun
There's a job to be done
So keep going. Uphill. In the snow.

Captain (once Lieutenant) Rutau

A lieutenant half dead from the strain
May press onward in spite of the pain.
We gladly will tend,
And rebuild, fix, and mend,
But alas, we can't give him a brain.

Ensign Rylon

There were secrets that Durmat boy knew,
Under pressure, he'd tell what was true.
So we wiped it away.
He's a new man, we'd say
With one constant: he still has no clue.

Lieutenant (once Colonel) Hareth

An officer simply named Hareth
Doeth more than most people would dareth.
But though glad to bite dust
When her boss says she must,
She's worse at it than (spoilers!) Aerith.

That is all.
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iamthehoyden's Avatar

01.25.2013 , 09:49 AM | #165
Haha, Insanity Company is awesome, and I'm completely jealous of the ability to write limericks (of which I have none) hehe.
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

bright_ephemera's Avatar

01.29.2013 , 09:37 AM | #166
And here we have artistic escalation, done Striges-kabeone-bright_ephemera style. ^.^

CHRONICLES PRESENT, 1.5: In which Niselle executes a plan man was not meant to plan

Time period: Shortly after Quinn's return to life

"Are you done yet?" Nalenne was sulking in a corner, eyes firmly covered, while a barely-clad Niselle danced some unholy dance to the accompaniment of drums. She knew she shouldn't have come when Andronikos invited her over for dinner. It was a trap. It was always a trap.

"The ritual's almost over. Whiner."

Nalenne did extend her Force senses, at least. They couldn't make out the details of the freakish outfit her sister was barely wearing for this setup. And something was going on in the Force; the energy Nis and her drumming had gathered was tremendous. She was probably going to waste it all on Force lightning. Do one thing, do it well, Nalenne supposed. Or, this being Niselle, do it badly.

Then Niselle stopped short and shrieked in her most irritating voice: "I!-I!-I!"

Andronikos' drumming stopped. The gathered energies of the room coalesced into a sphere almost blinding to Nalenne's Force senses. She opened her eyes to see a tenebrous portal yawning in the center of the room. There was a rush of cold stale air reeking of age-old death, and then a goat-thing emerged. A feathery goat-thing, its wings and body covered in a thousand overlapping gradations of black, its horns twisted and gnarled, its stubby legs lending it an oddly cute air.

The portal snapped shut. The beast blinked.

Nalenne gaped. "Oh, my Force."

"Marvelous, isn't it?" Niselle said smugly.

"Oh, my Force."

Niselle arched a hairless eyebrow. "What?"

"You did a Force ritual and it did something."

"Well, yes. This is what I've dedicated my career to, Lenny."

"You've dedicated your career to stealing my boyfriends and trying to ruin my life, Nis."

"Hm. You have me there. Well, I learn Force rituals of eldritch power in my spare time."

"I'm just shocked it worked. And you used it to summon a feather-goat-thing?"

"I used it to summon Shub-NiguWrath, The Fluffy Beast of the Abyss with a Thousand Feathers." Niselle frowned. "I did think he'd be bigger. But that's not the point; he is bound to my will. Now, Shub-NiguWrath. Devour my enemies. Starting with that one." Niselle pointed at her sister.

The fluffy abomination bounded toward Nalenne with tiny cute leaps. It headbutted Nalenne's thighs. Andronikos snickered.

Nalenne looked down. "Is that the best you've got?"

Shub-NiguWrath blinked at her with huge black eyes that seemed to serve as caliginous portals into a twisting nether from which lesser mortals might never escape. Then it headbutted her again.

Nalenne scritched its feathery head. "You're sort of miserably ineffective, but at least you're cute."

"The Beast of the Abyss with a Thousand Feathers is not cute!" Niselle said indignantly.

"Are you kidding? Just look at the ancient malice pulsing from the lightless depths of those big adorable eyes!" Nalenne scritched harder. Shub-NiguWrath made a small growl like the distant screams of a thousand voices snapping simultaneously into madness, then flopped to the ground and rolled over to expose the unnaturally soft downy feathers on its belly. Nalenne knelt to keep petting.

"Excuse me?" Niselle said sharply. "Shub-NiguWrath, you are my monster. Devour Nalenne."

Shub-NiguWrath's long forked tongue lolled free while Nalenne continued scritching its tummy.

"The last monster I freed from an ancient sleep neither living nor dead was much more useful than this," Niselle said petulantly.

"There is nothing wrong with you, you evil feathery goat-demon-thing," Nalenne said soothingly.

"Everything is wrong with him! He couldn't arcane-power his way out of a flimsi bag!"

Nalenne rolled her eyes and addressed Shub-NiguWrath. "Hey. Are you gonna take that from her?"

Shub-NiguWrath snorted. With supernatural agility it sprung and twisted to make a bounding charge toward Niselle, impacting with the full force of its little horns. When Niselle started a disdainful laugh Shub-NiguWrath raised and rustled its wings, slapping the Sith repeatedly in the face with its feather tips.

"Hey!" Niselle sneezed. "Quit it!"

"You show her, Shub," urged Nalenne. "Destroy all hope and suck out her very life force with the irresistible despair that I have a feeling you know how to generate in all living things!" Shub-NiguWrath ignored her and kept swatting Niselle with its wings. "Or...just tickle her some more."

Shub-NiguWrath brayed a bray of cheerful destruction torn in an unending swath through the ages without regard to the terror of the meaningless mortals caught in its path, and continued harassing Niselle.

Niselle sneezed harder. "Stars, I don't know what those stupid feathers are made of but I think I'm allergic."

"Oh." Andronikos cleared his throat. "That's a problem. Nalenne, could you step in with the, uh, eldritch horror? I don't want Nis dying of cute just yet."

"I am not dying of cute," Niselle said stuffily. "There may be some breathing difficulty, though."

"Tell you what," said Nalenne. "I'll get the beast away, but only if you promise never to lure me in to see Niselle dancing in her underwear again."

Andronikos nodded assent. "I would be happy to save that for myself."

"Deal. I'll just take him and be out of your way." Nalenne turned back to the stygian monstrosity. "Come on. I, Shub-NiguWrath! I!"

The many-feathered beast of madness frolicked after her, out and away from the still-fraught atmosphere of the arcane ritual, and away from Niselle's wretched sneezes.


"My lord?"

Quinn looked pointedly at the black beast of limitless horror that was wagging its feathered plume of a tail while accompanying Nalenne onto the Helicarrier.

"We're keeping him!" Nalenne said excitedly.

"I see." Quinn only twitched a little. "I am, as ever, powerless to stop you, my lord."

"Damn right. Let's go, Shub!"
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 90+ authors to date. 2500+ stories. New prompts weekly!
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iamthehoyden's Avatar

01.29.2013 , 10:31 AM | #167
<dies of laughter>
You three have created a collective maelstrom of GENIUS!!!!
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

kabeone's Avatar

01.29.2013 , 01:03 PM | #168
Couldn't help myself.

iamthehoyden's Avatar

01.30.2013 , 02:17 PM | #169
That's right, Shub, torment him with cuteness!! Toooorrrrment!!!! (Also chibi Nalenne is ridiculously cute.)
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

DarthRamette's Avatar

02.06.2013 , 07:01 PM | #170
I am so glad you started writing this is epic and funny as all hell. We need more shrub...