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Married Men, is it really that bad to be a hardcore game and have a wife?

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Married Men, is it really that bad to be a hardcore game and have a wife?

Majestic_Jazz's Avatar


Majestic_Jazz
12.16.2011 , 08:31 PM | #11
Quote: Originally Posted by Adonya View Post
As a gamer wife, I can tell you what I have experienced. If a woman has been at work all day and comes home to a husband sitting around playing games and the house is a wreck and the kids are running around like crazy gremlins - there WILL be confrontation. Most men are smart enough to get off before the wife gets home to assemble some sense of order. Unless you do like me and join in the gaming and then you just have to sigh and suck it up and deal with it later. I game, he doesn't mind because he also plays. I know women who don't game think that it is a complete waste of time that their significant other oculd be spening helping around the house or spenidng time with THEM. What woman would want a guy just sitting in front of a screen distant and completely oblivious to his surroundings if she couldn't enjoy the same things with him? It's a hard balance and you have to work to achieve that balance or it will destroy a marriage.
Again, what if we dont have kids? What if the house IS clean and I am just upstairs in the game room, minding my own business playing the game?

Again, the way these men talk online, it is as if they are going to get in trouble if they are playing the game or crap like that and I ONLY see the men doing this. I have NEVER seen any women abruptly log off because their husband is walking into the door.
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Atrilial's Avatar


Atrilial
12.16.2011 , 08:44 PM | #12
No problem like that in my house. I introduced my hubby to MMORPG's and we play together all the time. That being said, if he gets home from work and all I've done all day in play video games, he's probably going to be pretty irritated. So I make sure to give myself about an hour to clean up the house and stuff before he gets home. But I can understand why a wife that doesn't play and can't enjoy the games with her husband would rather he spend time with her when she got home instead of staring at a screen. Even my hubby and I have to sometimes walk away and go do something else actually interactive together.

But if the guys are rushing off like they are in trouble my guess is they have either done next to nothing all day and just realized it and know she's going to be unhappy with that; considerate and wanting make sure she feels more important than a video game when she gets home; or they are whipped and spineless. :P I dunno.

Palintine's Avatar


Palintine
12.16.2011 , 08:51 PM | #13
I've never had any problems with this because my wife and I both game, currently she is typing away on her keyboard and I'm getting ready to play SWTOR. We both game, and it's what sparked our friendship many years ago.

I don't know what other men have to deal with, because I have never had to deal with it myself, but not being able to do something you enjoy just because your spouse doesn't care for it, sounds like a bad relationship. Both parties should be able to enjoy what they want, my wife never tells me I can't enjoy one of my hobbies, and I don't tell her she can't.

It's apart of being married that you except the other person for who they are and not try to change them.

TwiztidBlue's Avatar


TwiztidBlue
12.16.2011 , 08:55 PM | #14
My husband and I don't have kids and we both game. However when I come home from work I want "our" time. So yes he will log off the game to give me that time and vise versa. Our relationship come first. After that I really don't care what he does

The only time he would have to worry about me coming home in five minutes is when he didn't do what I asked him to have done before I got home. Then I'll go into a wife rage.

Gunkabilly's Avatar


Gunkabilly
12.16.2011 , 10:00 PM | #15
Not bad at all for me..

.. course, she plays more than I do.

On the other hand, back when we ran a raiding guild in that other MMO, one of our main tanks just sort of disappeared for several days. When we finally got in touch with him we found out he "wasn't allowed" to play anymore, because his wife came home and the house wasn't clean.

I think it all comes down to what both parties expect out of the relationship, and how good they are at voicing that to each other, without being demanding or confrontational. And that applies to lots of areas in marriage.

Katil's Avatar


Katil
12.16.2011 , 10:20 PM | #16
All women are different, man. Some women game too. Some women don't game but don't mind the hubby doing it either. Some women don't like it and make it known. Some women will fight tooth and nail ripping the marriage apart and then blame it on the game.

The thing that a guy needs to ask himself is not "Am I playing too much?" The thing to ask yourself is "Am I playing at the wrong times or at the expense of X?" If thing X (i.e. family, work, etc.) is more important overall to your life than gaming...then damn it man! CHANGE IT!.

My wife used to be one of the "haters" but when I really sat back and looked at it, it was my fault. I was neglecting everything and basically just being a ******. I still game rediculous amounts (6? 8? 12? hours on a day off? Yeah why not). But, ya gotta keep momma happy. If something needs done, or there is something else I should be doing, I make sure it all gets done. Otherwise...everyone knows where Dad will be. Not at the bar. In the living room, on the puter. Everything has worked out.

Kaelemvor's Avatar


Kaelemvor
12.16.2011 , 10:23 PM | #17
My wife hates all things electronic, as long as I pay more attention to her than gizmos we're cool.
Kaelemvor

dartanisc's Avatar


dartanisc
12.16.2011 , 10:49 PM | #18
If your significant other has problems with gaming, I suggest the following 2 options:
/delete spouse
/search gamer girls


...all say all this as a joke of course. So no "hacker" spouses hunt my a** down and /delete me.

Majestic_Jazz's Avatar


Majestic_Jazz
12.16.2011 , 10:49 PM | #19
Quote: Originally Posted by TwiztidBlue View Post
My husband and I don't have kids and we both game. However when I come home from work I want "our" time. So yes he will log off the game to give me that time and vise versa. Our relationship come first. After that I really don't care what he does
See, thats just the think. I understand that you want "your" or "our" time together, but does that mean for the REST of the day? I mean where is the line drawn?

Also, not to sound sexist or anything, but why is it that most of the time it is the women [wife/gf] that is always requesting the "our time" moments instead of the men? Is it REALLY to further the relationship or is it simply an attention thing?
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Hylion's Avatar


Hylion
12.16.2011 , 11:09 PM | #20
Quote: Originally Posted by Majestic_Jazz View Post
See, thats just the think. I understand that you want "your" or "our" time together, but does that mean for the REST of the day? I mean where is the line drawn?

Also, not to sound sexist or anything, but why is it that most of the time it is the women [wife/gf] that is always requesting the "our time" moments instead of the men? Is it REALLY to further the relationship or is it simply an attention thing?
Have you ever been in a successful relationship with a woman?

Honestly, the amount of "together" time shouldn't be an afterthought or something you pencil in around your gaming schedule. If you're in a relationship or have a family, they need to come first and then gaming can be put in as a pass time.

As far as woman being the more often requesters of "our time" it's a matter of physiology (if that's the correct usage). In a very broad and vaguely general statement, men are typically logical thinkers and women are typically emotional thinkers. Since "our time" is an emotional need, it's more pronounced in women.