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Married Men, is it really that bad to be a hardcore game and have a wife?

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content
Married Men, is it really that bad to be a hardcore game and have a wife?

Majestic_Jazz's Avatar


Majestic_Jazz
12.16.2011 , 07:56 PM | #1
To the Men, I am not trying to be funny or troll.

To the women [especially married women], I am not trying to be offensive.


I am creating this thread due to situations that I have ran across many times since Tuesday, and even times during the Weekend Betas.

Even though many married men who play this game are probably in their late 20s going all the way up to the 40s and maybe even 50s. One thing I noticed a lot were men who either A: Cannot play long in our group because their wife is getting home soon or B: Either has to abruptly leave the game because their wife just walked in the door.

Last night I was trying to find some people to group, to do a Heroic, the Trouble in Deed Heroic on Coruscant. Counting me, we had 3 people but we really needed a healer. So we finally found one so we waited by the entrance while he comes. Halfway through, he tells us on the party chat that he is sorry and that he has to leave because his wife just walked in the door. Before could say goodbye, he was already gone.

Now while that was just one scenario, this is something I see going on in the chat all the time. Grown men talking about how they only have like 1 hour to play because of the wife, or 2 hours to play until their wife gets home. Or even worse, having to immediately log off because the wife just walked in or is in the driveway about to come in the house.

-------------------------

Why is this? Mind you, I do not hear ANY of the married women in the general chat talking about how they have to log off because the husband just walked in or that they only have 30min to play before the husband gets home. It is ALWAYS married men, displaying their "limited time" because of the wife.

Again, why is this and I am not trying to be offensive or sexist but I will be 27 years old next year and I easily see myself being married in the next 2-3 years or so. At the age of 29/30 and even beyond, I do not see myself putting down the controller, especially when there are no kids.

For the final time, not trying to be rude but one of the negative things about being a gamer and getting married is that my time for gaming will seriously decrease. I understand and I am fully mature to understand that in relationships, many things are compromised. So I do not expect to be waking up at 10AM and playing games all the way to 10PM as a married man. But I would still like to be able to just escape into videogames for about 3-4 hours every now and then just to clear my head and enjoy myself, but the way men talk in general chat [and even in these forums] makes it seem like gaming as a married man is tuff business and with VERY limited time.

Whats up? Please fill me in.
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Renissara's Avatar


Renissara
12.16.2011 , 07:59 PM | #2
Uhh... I assure you from personal experience it's just about as bad to be a married female gamer if your husband doesn't game.

As with all things, communication helps.

Majestic_Jazz's Avatar


Majestic_Jazz
12.16.2011 , 08:02 PM | #3
Quote: Originally Posted by Renissara View Post
Uhh... I assure you from personal experience it's just about as bad to be a married female gamer if your husband doesn't game.

As with all things, communication helps.
What do you mean by communication?

I mean, these men act like 12-year old boys who is about to be caught playing videogames when their parents come home because they should be doing homework. These men literally panic in general chat about how they are halfway through a quest or so but their wife is about to come in and all that mess.

Is it really that bad?
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skolos's Avatar


skolos
12.16.2011 , 08:05 PM | #4
My wife and I have playing games together for 10 years together been married for 14. She figured if she couldnt beat it out of me she would join me.

Majestic_Jazz's Avatar


Majestic_Jazz
12.16.2011 , 08:08 PM | #5
Quote: Originally Posted by skolos View Post
My wife and I have playing games together for 10 years together been married for 14. She figured if she couldnt beat it out of me she would join me.
But what are you thoughts or opinions on what I said above?

You seem to be one of the "lucky" men who has a wife who accepts that you game and so on. Most men don't have the luxury.
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Rolf's Avatar


Rolf
12.16.2011 , 08:09 PM | #6
My wife and I played end game Everquest for 6 years...All I have to say is "Honey I'm in a raid" and she leaves me alone.
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Seraki's Avatar


Seraki
12.16.2011 , 08:14 PM | #7
Believe it or not the word Wife does not have not a gamer in any part of the definition.

Individuals make choices in their life styles and if they choose to go along with a stereotype then that is also a personal choice.

gwyneira's Avatar


gwyneira
12.16.2011 , 08:20 PM | #8
I can only speak for me but on the days that ive been home all day and been playiong all day its not unusual for me to log of when the bf gets home so that i can have an uninterupted conversation with him. maybe those husband are doing the same

Jeweledleah's Avatar


Jeweledleah
12.16.2011 , 08:21 PM | #9
this is personal experience, so it might not apply to others, but I might actually say something of that nature as a woman, with a husband who games. so its not something I'd say becasue I'm afraid to be caught, or becasue he'll be mad or whatever. its becasue at this point in my life, my first priority is spending time with my spouse. the game is not going anywhere, but when your schedules are all over the place, there's only so much time you have to spend with each other and unless you are both playing the same game .... well you get the idea

then again, I'd probably do my best not to look for group when I know he'll be getting home soon, but sometimes you see an opportune instance group forming and you just grab your chance.
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Adonya's Avatar


Adonya
12.16.2011 , 08:24 PM | #10
As a gamer wife, I can tell you what I have experienced. If a woman has been at work all day and comes home to a husband sitting around playing games and the house is a wreck and the kids are running around like crazy gremlins - there WILL be confrontation. Most men are smart enough to get off before the wife gets home to assemble some sense of order. Unless you do like me and join in the gaming and then you just have to sigh and suck it up and deal with it later. I game, he doesn't mind because he also plays. I know women who don't game think that it is a complete waste of time that their significant other oculd be spening helping around the house or spenidng time with THEM. What woman would want a guy just sitting in front of a screen distant and completely oblivious to his surroundings if she couldn't enjoy the same things with him? It's a hard balance and you have to work to achieve that balance or it will destroy a marriage.
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