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The Expanded Universe ???? LOL ?

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > STAR WARS Discussion
The Expanded Universe ???? LOL ?

Idunhavaname's Avatar


Idunhavaname
01.13.2012 , 08:16 PM | #71
I enjoyed Thrawn Trilogy and Hand of Thrawn Duology but I agree about the majority of the EU being crap.
.

RIP orange pixel

Vepariga's Avatar


Vepariga
01.14.2012 , 09:55 AM | #72
Like all Star Wars movies,games and storys, there are good ones and there are bad ones.

Darth_Beans's Avatar


Darth_Beans
01.14.2012 , 04:14 PM | #73
Quote: Originally Posted by WerniesSturm View Post
I'm a huge SW fan (movies)
Since Im playing SWTOR, I wanted to do a little research on the old republic, very interesting indeed.
In the past I also encountered names like Ben Skywalker and such so I wondered what happened after the Battle of Endor, the chosen one fullfilling and the Sith destroyed and peace forever.

But seriously ***, what idiot (IMO) came up with whatever happened after. Stole this from another website:

Stole this from another site:

Undoing the Ending of Return of the Jedi

Everything had wrapped up nicely at the end of Return of the Jedi. We see the Imperial menace defeated over the forest moon of Endor by the likes of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca the Wookiee and Lando "The Last Black Man in the Galaxy" Calrissian.

The Emperor's plan to recruit Luke to the dark side failed, and Darth Vader redeemed himself by dunking the raisin-faced bastard into the reactor core of the Death Star like Lebron James. Vader, electrocuted and hairless--and decidedly not James Earl Jones--died and the Death Star exploded, effectively wiping out the Sith, releasing their chokehold on the Galaxy and infuriating whoever was the lienholder on the destroyed battle station.

Simultaneous celebrations were held on countless planets because evidently news travels fast through the infinite expanse of *********** space. Our heroes dance with some teddy bears and the credits roll.

Not so fast:

That is, the Empire keeps rolling right along, imposing space-tyranny on all who stand in their way.

And the thing is, it's hard to argue with the idea.

Neither the Emperor nor the Death Star had ever been a threat to the Rebellion, so, you know, **** those first three movies. The Imperials had been able to control the Galaxy without a Death Star for a couple of decades, relying instead on fleet warfare and ground support for good old fashioned genocide. As for the Emperor, does killing the leader of a tyrannical government with a powerful and loyal army immediately end the entire conflict?


According to the majority of the books and comics set after the original trilogy, with the Emperor gone, there were hundreds of Admirals, Generals and Politicians who vied for control of the Galaxy. Without a universally accepted leader, the Empire spiraled into a civil war.

The Rebellion is still, well, a Rebellion, which means it still has to gain victory over the remaining Imperials to win, who are in turn fighting amongst themselves. And so, the Skywalker family, which you may remember as being the entire point of the Star Wars saga, fades into the background as we watch the Rebels continue to fight two different Empires for 20 more years. During that time it's fair to assume billions more people died and trillions more words of poorly written dialog were spoken.


Cloning the emperor


Oh, hey, speaking of the dead Emperor, he is dead, right? After all, Darth Vader basically sacrificed himself to kill the man and wipe out this dark threat to The Force for all time.

Yes, that sure was a meaningful sacrifice Anakin made to redeem himself and save countless lives.

Not so fast...


Once more, you can see why they did it. You need a villain. And if George Lucas had written the sequel stories, it's hard to believe he wouldn't have done the same, after he contorted every prequel storyline to shoehorn in as many OT characters as he could.

In this storyline, Palpatine, secure in his new corporeal digs, proceeds to use a variety of nifty tactics that nearly annihilate the Rebels. The reasons why he waited until after his death to employ these tactics are beyond even the wisest of us.

To make things worse, Luke Skywalker, forgetting absolutely everything about his dad's story arc, thought the best way to deal with this threat was by becoming Palpatine's new apprentice. Although he tries to sabotage the Empire's efforts from the inside, he eventually succumbs to the Dark Side, presumably because the temptation of paid vacation and a dental plan proved to be too great.


After Luke essentially becomes the Sega Genesis to Vader's Master System, Leia comes to her brother's rescue and eventually redeems him (you may remember this as the exact same plot of the original trilogy). Unfortunately it's already too late for most of the galaxy, as the Empire has already managed to decimate entire worlds without a Death Star and is within sight of total victory (evidently "total victory" means "killing every last mother****er in space").

Palps is eventually killed by Empatojayos Brand, an ancient Jedi better known as Master Desperate Plot Device, thus ending the crisis and allowing the Dark Empire series to stop wasting our gosh darn time.

Adding a bunch of new jedi


Pretty much the entire point of the original trilogy was that Luke Skywalker, son of Darth Vader, is the last hope for the Jedi Order and the Galaxy. You know, the other Jedi having been ruthlessly hunted down and destroyed by the Empire and all.

The only exceptions are Obi Wan, whose force powers seem to have degenerated into keeping an immaculately trimmed beard in the middle of the desert, and Yoda, who seems to have gone so ******* insane that all he can do is talk like Super Grover in cryptic nonsensical jibber-jabber and lift **** out of bogs with his mind.

With only these three superpowered individuals left, the future of the Galaxy seems bleak.

Not so fast...


One thing the good guys have to do to deal with the post-Death Star Empire is enlist the help of Jedi. Lots of them. In "sequel" comics like Dark Forces, much of the plot involves enlisting the help of these guys that are just hanging around in remote parts of the galaxy.

As it turns out, contrary to popular belief (a term which here means "what the films specifically told us in no uncertain terms"), the Jedi were not entirely wiped out but merely went into hiding. Again, we understand it's not Star Wars without Jedi and you can't wait for an army to be rebuilt from Luke and Leia's inbred children. The writers only had so many options.

But are we really to believe that these characters just sat on their fat asses, doing nothing to help while their Jedi brethren were getting thrown in the dumpster? That seems just a little out of character for the Galaxy's "Protectors of Freedom."


Superweapons That Make the Death Star Look Like a Pile of ****


All right, so maybe you think we were taking it too far when we said destroying the Death Star(s) didn't really change anything. After all, clearly these weapons were taking the Empire's power to a new level. The Death Stars were to be a planet-destroying game-changer, forever cementing their hold on the galaxy.

So if nothing else, taking them out dealt a serious blow to their plans.

Not so Fast...

Well, in the course of the Extended Universe stories, dozens of other, more powerful superweapons are introduced, some so over-the-top that, in retrospect, taking out the Death Star should've been right below "Remember to take Mittens to the vet" on the Webbel's To-Do List.

And some of them get ridiculous. Evidently the Empire set aside a little too much funding for the Board of Unnecessary Destruction.
The Galaxy Gun is a great example.


Although its name lacks the same pant****-inspiring sound as the Death Star, we are told it is a lot more powerful. It was first used during the reborn Emperor's campaign against the Rebels (see Cloning the Emperor, above), and during its operational history it destroyed more worlds than the Death Star. Making that count at least... two.

There is also the Sun Crusher, which we have to admit is the most ****** name ever given to any weapon, ever.


To sum it up, it basically does what its name suggests, firing a bunch of missiles into a star and causing it to collapse and go supernova, destroying the entire surrounding system by way of make-believe science.

Unfortunately, we already saw the planet-busting ultra gun in two out of the three original movies, so you can probably guess how the storylines involving both of these turned out (if you said "the Rebels enact a daring offensive that destroys the weapon," you are correct).

Creating a new sith empire:

Of course, even though the Emperor comes back and the Empire rises again, the webbels do eventually prevail. Sure, it took a couple of decades after the events of the OT, but we at least know that one day a gray-haired Han Solo and crew got to see their dream of an evilless galaxy come true.

Not So Fast...

According to the Star Wars Legacy comics, 100 years after the original trilogy, the galaxy has supposedly seen several major wars and enough political maneuvering to turn the franchise into a Tom Clancy novel. During that century, the Rebellion formed into the New Republic and then into the Galactic Alliance, eventually making peace with the Empire and allying with them on several occasions.

Luke Skywalker, again demonstrating his complete and total dementia, forgets every single detail about his father's life and builds a new Jedi Order that encourages emotional ties and marriages. Han Solo and Princess Leia have three kids, one of whom turns into a Sith, and Luke has a son with some redhead.


All of a sudden the Sith reappear. Again.

And, again, the Empire declares war on the Galactic Alliance, easily crushing their allied nuts and installing their Sith leader as Emperor of the Galaxy. Again.

They go on to lead a surprise attack against the Jedi, killing most of them and forcing the rest into hiding.

Again.

Meanwhile the scattered remnants of the Alliance begin a guerilla war against their much more powerful adversary while Luke's son, a young Jedi named Skywalker, must use his powerful Force abilities to try and destroy the evil Sith Emperor.


Our more clever readers may have noticed a small curiosity regarding this storyline: It is, word for word, the exact *********** plot of the entire Star Wars saga. Not just a recycled plot device like a new superweapon (see above), but the whole gosh darn plot.

...........

What about Darth Maul with robot legs ?

The yuuzong vong or something like that, the only thing that is not connected to the force ( all things are? )
i like Cracked.com too

DarylMusashi's Avatar


DarylMusashi
01.14.2012 , 08:59 PM | #74
Quote: Originally Posted by Darthmealready View Post
None of it is very well written; yes, even the much vaunted Thrawn Trilogy feels as though a community college English major wrote it. But, I guess that's part of the charm.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Community college classes for the basic subjects like English, Math, etc are no different than the ones taught at Harvard. I know this first hand because I had a trigonometry teacher years ago at a community college that had previously taught math in Ivy League schools. He said he even used the exact same textbook for trig at both the community college and at Princeton. The only difference between students at a community college vs Ivy League is simply money and privilege.

Vlacke's Avatar


Vlacke
01.14.2012 , 10:08 PM | #75
Quote: Originally Posted by Rhyltran View Post
Some of this is uneededly sarcastic and biased. It's not as bad as it makes it out to be. Second, Darth Maul with robot legs is non canon. The Yuuzhan Vong were cut off from the force but this is explained. If you want unbiased I recommend you start with the thrawn series. You may be pleasantly surprised at how good it is.

It takes place after the movies and is a good series of novels. It's what got me into the EU. Is the EU always great? No and it does have it's share of problems but a lot of it is actually pretty good.
Exactly.

Maurdiib's Avatar


Maurdiib
01.14.2012 , 10:10 PM | #76
"To sum it up, it basically does what its name suggests, firing a bunch of missiles into a star and causing it to collapse and go supernova, destroying the entire surrounding system by way of make-believe science."

Simply because of this, the OP and the source the OP "stole" from have zero (0) credibility.

Right, as if lightsabers and a little green alien lifting things with its mind is sooooooo realistic and logical, but destroying a solar system is such a fantasy.

The post was trash to begin with, but I tried to give it some merit anyway. Seriously though, a sun crusher is "make-believe science" but a 200 y/o dude who can shoot lightning out of his fingers and being able to travel anywhere in a galaxy within hours isn't?

/facepalm

Agemnon's Avatar


Agemnon
01.14.2012 , 10:35 PM | #77
"In this storyline, Palpatine, secure in his new corporeal digs, proceeds to use a variety of nifty tactics that nearly annihilate the Rebels. The reasons why he waited until after his death to employ these tactics are beyond even the wisest of us.

To make things worse, Luke Skywalker, forgetting absolutely everything about his dad's story arc, thought the best way to deal with this threat was by becoming Palpatine's new apprentice. Although he tries to sabotage the Empire's efforts from the inside, he eventually succumbs to the Dark Side, presumably because the temptation of paid vacation and a dental plan proved to be too great."

I thought this was awkward when I read about it. Also, lol at Star Crusher.