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Dreams of Korriban (SI fanfic)


Kuronan

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(( Before we get started, I would like to ask that any who read this give me their honest opinions on this, because I was considering becoming a professional writer. This is basically the back story of Kuronan, my Sith Inquisitor on Rubat Crystal, He is a male crimson Twi'lek. Please, if you are under sixteen, read another fanfic, this is somewhat graphic. ))

 

I gasp as my eyes shot open, I grab my chest and get up. I don't know why but whenever I dream of Korriban I end up short on breathe waking up. After a few seconds I remember where I am, my slave pens on Alderaan.

As always, right on Que, there is a slamming at the door, which I have become all too familiar with. "Get up Slave, if you aren't out in five minutes, you're getting shocked." I half grunt, half sigh as I push the sheets off, I get off the bed, and then put them back on neatly. I move my arms around a bit, stretching them for a long day ahead, I know because when I awake from Korriban, the days are far longer and agonizing.

 

As I exit my room, the air is colder, though it is looser because of that... I take a few breaths, because my room is stuffy, and the winter air, though meaning more maintenance and cleaning, also means easier breathing and less sweat. I look around, the usual slaves and servants are up already, most of them don't need the warning, I'm glad they even give me that much... I close the door behind me as usual, even though there is nothing to be stolen from there, I only have one possession... my amulet... a gift from my mother, I'd rather part with my life then with it.

 

As I walk around, the girls seem to be slacking, mostly gossip, some cleaning themselves, either something important happened, or there is a buyer coming around. Neither one concerns me, no one has bought me since age five, I've grown used to the halls of Alderaan, I'm one of few that actually feel more comfortable here then anywhere else, the nobles are not very cruel, to me anyway, and I don't bother others unless it's important. I do take a short moment to remind them that no matter what's going on, they will be shocked if they don't do their respective duties.

 

I reach the janitorial closet after what feels like twenty minutes, though probably was less then five, and I go inside, the door is always unlocked, and grab a mop, filling a bucket with water and start cleaning and waxing the floors... Which is what I WOULD be doing, but the door is locked, I sigh, a staff member likely forgot to unlock it for me. I go out to look for one of them, I hear some females giggle behind me, likely staring (or admiring) from a distance, I disregard it. There is no good that comes from flirtation, regardless of caste, besides, relationships cost money, money I do not have, nor am I allowed by law, something that has never concerned me.

 

I walk around for at least thirty minutes before I wonder what the hell they could all be doing, a noble should be alerted, I go to the main hall, which normally I try to avoid, to alert a noble or find a servant. What I find is an unusually empty hall, odd, usually someone is walking around here, I look around for a few moments before I feel an all too familiar sensation rock my body as I cry out in pain from the excess electricity.

"Why are you inside Slave? All of the slaves are outside."

"I was not informed."

"Then let's go, shall we?" he escorts me outside, all the slaves are gathered in rows outside of the house, men and women, sons and daughters are looked at by potential buyers, which I should say, there are a lot of.

"What is this, a buyer here looking at all the slaves in rows?"

"You could say that, now get in a row."

I sigh, and does as he asks, I see a Republic Trooper make a mental note of what slave he was going to question next, he then walks up to me directly, ignoring everyone else.

"Why are you late?"

"I wasn't told there was a buyer today." I say with a very lax tone, unlike the others, I know I won't get bought, which is why I make every effort to look like a bad purchase. To give them even more reason to turn away, to a better slave, or to someone who needs it more.

"You don't seem very uptight or serious about this, I could get you out of this place, and you don't seem intent on kissing up."

"I do kiss up, but unlike everyone else here, I've been here for ten years, not once has any potential buyer given a second glance at me, I'm sure your not going to either, especially considering Republic policy on slavery." I say in a half-mocking tone, I know he's not here to purchase, this whole gathering is nothing more then a mockery, a slap to the face of everyone here, slaves anyway.

 

After about three hours, almost all of the slaves are gone, there's about seven of us left, as the troopers get us in line, a female appears, her blonde hair and casual clothing makes me wonder if she keeps up the Jedi code forbidding romance, she certainly looks like she could get someone without trying, but she has an aura of strict business that likely scares of anyone wanting to ask. She stands before each of us.

"You have all been found Force Sensitive, you will be brought to Typhon to begin training as Jedi."

My mind gets blow... Jedi... a term synonymous with absolute freedom, and I could become one, better, Jedi help people, including slaves, maybe I could help people, my people, by proving we aren't all slaves.

We are escorted onto a large transport, as the spaceport is a whiles off, but for the trip, I fall asleep, for a few moments, I dream of lush Typhon, what will be my new home, and my duty as a protector, but suddenly my mind jerks to Korriban once more, now I see myself, a Sith Lord, a man of great power who will shape the universe as he sees fit, a man who can bend or break any he meets, in other words, anything a man could desire.

 

A sudden jerking wakes me from my sleep, I hear screaming. I shake off my dream to find five people dead and three injured, the others are quickly trying to treat the dead, the wounded are trying to patch themselves up as another explosion rocks the vessel. Though nothing gets in, likely a missile to the driver, the Jedi confirms my suspicions as the transport grinds to a halt, likely the last thing the driver ever did, to save us...

"Listen up, we are under attack by Imperial Forces, I'm calling for backup, but for now the transport is grounded, stay inside." She pulls out a holocommunicator, the signal looks weak, but they haven't set up proper jammers. "This is Jedi Master Sharra Dal, our transport was hit by Imperial Forces, we need backup, NOW!" The transmission cuts just as she says now.

She brandishes a light saber, no one else here can fight, I just realize this... the troopers died in the first explosion, this Jedi is the only thing keeping us from death. "Everyone, grab a weapon, we won't come out of this alive OR free if we don't fight with the Jedi!" everyone quickly grabs the weapons off the troopers.

The instant we get outside the guns go off, I don't know how I can help, but I have to, I know I have to, suddenly my mind flashes back to Korriban, for only a fleet second, I shake it off, but as I look around, I realize there is NOTHING I can do, all I can do is watch...

 

The slaves attacking Imperial Troopers likely caught the guys at the door by surprise, but the rest are likely to know, as the slaves run out, one is sniped, the remaining six continue to aim for and shoot Imperials, thankfully the troopers didn't use Assault Cannons. I watch as a Sith seemingly comes from nowhere and attacks the Jedi, who defends before it lands somehow, I watch them, ignoring everything else, their blow-for-blow is simply beautiful, words cannot describe how amazing the battle is, I don't know how long I watched, but as I watched, the slaves and imperials slowly fell, until the only people standing were the Sith, the Jedi, and me.

 

After what feels like an eternity of battle, the two disarm each other, both light sabers fly to my feet, and they both fall from exhaustion, I reach for and grab both, turning both on. As I turn on the green light saber, belonging to the Jedi, I feel peace, serenity, calm, as a Jedi, I could help people, I could save lives, I could free not only myself, but my people, by proving we are indispensable. But as I turn on the red light saber, I feel completion, power, strength, as a Sith, I could directly cut down any who stood against me, I could free myself from weakness, and somehow, complete myself, Jedi are passive, as my past forced me to be, as a Sith, I could be assertive, and no one could stop me.

I turn both off, I walk to the Jedi, the Sith glares at me, her eyes show hatred, anger, things I could not show a person without reason... But as I approach the Jedi, I drop her light saber, I point the Sith's light saber at her head, and for that one moment, when my crimson eyes met her blue, we both know there was only one way this would end.

 

As the blade sears and enters her flesh, I feel strength and power flood through me, I could have given her the victory, instead, I took it from her, I ended her, I defied her, and I loved it, the feel of a life in my hand, and then crushing it with but a motion.

 

The Sith, whom I now identify as a Human Female (think of Smuggler Verses Sith Warrior), chuckles for a bit then laughs, I could have just as easily killed her, but I didn't, we both know I don't plan on it.

"We both know your life would have been easier with the Jedi."

"Maybe, but I chose you, I chose the Empire, now take me to Korriban, to the Sith, I will become a Sith, and I will have the power I have dreamed of for many years."

And as she rises and I hand her the light saber, I know somehow we couldn't be any more different, she would have killed me without a thought, I should have joined the Jedi, but I didn't, now I will be Sith, but I will not become as dark as they are, I will be my own man.

Edited by Kuronan
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There's some good here, but there are some glaring errors as well.

 

For starters, the opening "I open my eyes" is a rather dull way to start a story. Pick up any book and just look at the opening sentence. The opening sentence is one of the most critical in the entire story because it's job is to grab the reader and make them read on. A better opening could have been actually seeing the dream of Korriban.

 

The first person perspective is fine, but if you are doing it first person then that means the reader is inside the character's head. It's rather difficult to tell a engaging tale only using a inner monologue, and one things for sure the character wouldn't narrate his walk like that internally.

 

Also it takes you several paragraphs to get this character's motivations going. You have him literally "Walking Around" in one paragraph and then going to a Janitorial Closet the next. Is he wandering or is there a set goal? The goal should happen from the outset, as it is I was disoriented.

 

Similarly, I didn't read your description of your character until I went to hit the reply button. At no point in this story is your character ever described as being a Twi'lek. I actually had him visualized as a Human for most of it.

 

Beyond that the general flow of the story isn't bad, but we don't need to know the exact time stamps (10 AM, Three Hours), and the dialogue is kind of stinted, but writing natural sounding dialogue just takes time and practice.

 

Overall, in my honest opinion this is a rough piece of work for someone considering writing professionally, but the foundation - the overall tale being told - is solid. I like the story you are trying to tell here, I'd just say you need more practice at how to properly tell it.

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There's some good here, but there are some glaring errors as well.

 

For starters, the opening "I open my eyes" is a rather dull way to start a story. Pick up any book and just look at the opening sentence. The opening sentence is one of the most critical in the entire story because it's job is to grab the reader and make them read on. A better opening could have been actually seeing the dream of Korriban.

 

The first person perspective is fine, but if you are doing it first person then that means the reader is inside the character's head. It's rather difficult to tell a engaging tale only using a inner monologue, and one things for sure the character wouldn't narrate his walk like that internally.

 

Also it takes you several paragraphs to get this character's motivations going. You have him literally "Walking Around" in one paragraph and then going to a Janitorial Closet the next. Is he wandering or is there a set goal? The goal should happen from the outset, as it is I was disoriented.

 

Similarly, I didn't read your description of your character until I went to hit the reply button. At no point in this story is your character ever described as being a Twi'lek. I actually had him visualized as a Human for most of it.

 

Beyond that the general flow of the story isn't bad, but we don't need to know the exact time stamps (10 AM, Three Hours), and the dialogue is kind of stinted, but writing natural sounding dialogue just takes time and practice.

Overall, in my honest opinion this is a rough piece of work for someone considering writing professionally, but the foundation - the overall tale being told - is solid. I like the story you are trying to tell here, I'd just say you need more practice at how to properly tell it.

 

I solidly appreciate your constructive criticism on my piece, it was only recently that I began thinking of professional writing as a career. Now I will give you an honest reply to your comment.

 

I didn't really think about the opening sentence, this was actually adapted from a project where this was supposed to be a dream, I only edited it so it felt more naturally flowing, I'm sure you don't want to hear of a Twi'lek that thinks he was, at anytime, a human.

 

The dream itself is not meant to make sense, I imagine a force sensitive will not immediately see everything clearly, foresight takes practice, so at this point, his skill is only enough to tell if he saw pictures of Korriban, which he did, I'd like to say most people have probably seen pictures of important planets like Korriban and Corusant.

 

I'm not entirely sure how I should have done first perspective, like I said, it was a dream perspective originally, you aren't fully in control of your dreams, they just sort of... play out, you're just watching through their eyes, at least, in my experience. Maybe over time I'll improve, but for now, I need to play around with it.

 

At first, my character has no goal, I imagine slaves for nobles aren't told to do one specific task for the rest of their lives or until they are sold again, I figured some wandering might be better then "He looks across the hall and sees a janitor's closet, he walks to the door, when he arrives, he hits a few buttons on the door panel and opens the door, he grabs a mop and bucket, then going elsewhere to fill the bucket with water."

 

As to the appearance, well, slaves don't really have much, I feel it would be inappropriate to have a mirror to look into and describe the character unless I went into a noble's room, which they only do when cleaning. I will add a more specific description in my next post. I felt time stamps would help the general atmosphere be more apparent, but as I look at it, it is indeed unnecessary.

 

I humbly thank your constructive criticism and insight, I will see how I can apply this in my next post.

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"So what happens now?" I look at her, her intense dark green eyes dissect me, she's probably wondering what kind of slave I am, no doubt she felt my pleasure from killing the Jedi. "What happens now? We change direction, to House Thul, where my ship is docked, and I will bring you to Korriban, where you will train as a Sith, and either succeed, or die." The soulless glare she gives me is either because I am an alien, or maybe all Sith are just cold blooded, I'll find out soon enough...

 

We walk to House Thul's estate, I look upon it, I have heard nothing good about House Thul, but I suppose I don't have much of a choice in my side anymore... I picked this, I'll stick with it. As we walk to the port, I get a few glances, or maybe it's the Sith, I don't know. "So what am I supposed to call you?"

"You can just call me "My Lady" for now, I doubt you'll make it in these trials." I'm not surprised, this is likely racism at it's finest, a Twi'lek as a Sith is impossible, at least to these people.

"So then, My Lady, are there others?"

"Take a guess, we only recently opened our doors to aliens." I'm going to guess I'm not alone in this.

"So unless I'm really strong in the Force, I'm pretty much going to die? No chance of escape or leaving?"

"If you wanted that, you should have killed me." True, Sith aren't known for Mercy.

 

I notice how the Imperials I do realize are Imperials make sure to get out of the Sith's way, more over, most of them bow, they could respect her, or maybe it's pure fear, I don't know for sure, but I do know I'd like some of that respect.

 

"So uh... about my shock collar..."

"When we get to the ship, I'll take it off, don't give me a reason to put it back on."

"Didn't plan on it." We reach and elevator and get on, she hits the button to take us to her ship.

"If you are to survive more then five minutes, you'll need to know to address your betters, I am a Lord, call me My Lord."

"My Lord." I bow before her as a reflex, she walks up a bit and slaps me.

"Do not bow, simply acknowledge me as your better, if you bow, you open yourself to be killed." She glares, I feel she is contemplating killing me, but I also feel safer around her then I did before, she can handle herself, unlike my other masters.

"My Lord." I bow my head, but do not bow.

"That'll work I suppose." The elevator slows, then stops, I follow her to her ship, which I must say, is impressive, even if I couldn't tell the tail from the cockpit. She leads me to the latch inside, I follow her, and a small part of me wonders if she looks as good without that armor as she does with it, for only a split second, but I shake it off.

 

The inside is also amazing, the metallic theme is something I like, as I follow her inside, a droid greets her.

"Greetings Master, shall I show this slave to the room with the others?" It is mainly blue and silver, it's red eyes betray it's programmed personality, which does not look hostile, and also sounds very docile, I cannot imagine this droid could hold a pistol, much less hold off people boarding, it's likely just for domestics, like cooking and maintenance, I honestly don't mind Droids, they are designed, built, and programmed to do their duties without question, if there is a permanent alternative to slaves, it's right there.

"Yes, bring him to the others."

"As you command master, follow me, if you will." It waves me over, as I follow it, I turn back for a few seconds to see her heading to the cockpit, likely to plot our course somewhere, the droid does not notice, I follow him to the end of the hall, to an escape pod, he points to his right, I go inside.

 

As I enter the room, I see a muscular Zabrak male, probably there to focus on combat abilities and crush his enemies, I also see a Sith Pureblood male, I know it because I've never seen one before but I have read of them, they have sharp bone ridges and red skin, they are apparently almost always force sensitive. I then look to the small desk and see a very attractive human... well, attractive for their kind anyway, she looks a lot like the Sith that owns the ship. She looks up to me.

"I'm her daughter, in case it wasn't obvious, I'll be dropping off with you men, but don't get your hopes up Twi'lek, unlike my mother, I don't give myself up easily."

"I didn't plan on it, I'm not that casual about something like that." I go to the window at the far corner of the room, and I look, it's cleaned enough I can see my reflection on it. I see the black painting on my purely red eyes and crimson lekku, which are thinner then most, probably about as thick as my arm, which isn't that muscular, considering I wasn't required to do much physical labor, discounting cleaning, my face is pretty evenly toned, and it's soft actually, I was told at least twice that if a female slaver touched me, they would purchase me just because of the way my skin feels, though it's not as soft as a furry house pet. I'm probably about average height for an adult. I'm also gonna need new clothes when I get to Korriban.

 

After a while of staring out the window, I feel a hand on my shoulder. "So what brings you on board?" The voice is deep and strong, already I know it's the Zabrak.

"I'm sensitive, like the rest of you, but I killed a Jedi."

"A Jedi? now your just lieing, slave." The Pureblood says, his voice is hateful, and not that deep.

"The Jedi was near her limit, the Sith had weakened her to the point where she was barely moving." I say in a tone that makes it obvious I am not bragging.

"Oh, well, in that case I suppose it's possible..." the Sith turns to the beds, he reaches for the top bunk and pulls himself to it.

"Still, that's impressive." The Zabrak curls up his left hand, then beats it to his chest. "I'm Rock, not my real name, but I don't like my real name, what about you?"

I look at him, not sure what he's thinking. "Kuronan." I say, then return to the window. I look out as the stars speed by, we're in hyperspace travel for only a few moments before we exit hyperspace, and reach our destination.

Edited by Kuronan
Finishing this post.
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As we arrive, I turn from the window, the others realize it as well, we're here, where our old lives end and our new lives will begin...

 

Korriban...

 

As I slowly move my head from side to side, I look at the others, the red Zabrak is unsure of what the future may bring, but the Pureblood and Human are more then ready to not only face their future, but tackle it and beat it down until they get what they came here for.

 

In only a few moments, the Sith Lord opens the door, I notice her armor is looser, but not by much of a notable difference, some part of me thinks she's getting ready to welcome a friend, but I shake off the thought, what she does is her business, not mine.

"We're here, grab your things Cassandra, the rest of you didn't bring anything, so let's go."

I would have brought something, had I an object of real meaning to me, aside from my amulet, I turn around and walk to the door, to what I realize will be not only a new way of living, but a new life all together.

 

As we leave the ship, the Sith calls out to me to return to the ship, I forgot something apparently, but I knew the instant she said it that's not why, but who am I to correct her? As I went back I saw the door close behind me, immediately she pinned me to the wall, and pushed her lips against mine, I tensed, my eyes widening, then relaxed, my eyes closing, the taste is unknown to me, but I enjoyed every moment, which did not last, of course. After a few seconds, she pulled away, and wore a serious glare once again, though I get the feeling that's pretty much how she normally looks at me.

"A gift for choosing me, now, get going, you're going to be late."

"You never removed my collar..."

She reaches to my neck with her right hand, and removes it, although I'm likely to not live long enough to enjoy it, that thing coming off my neck alone makes me truthfully appreciate what is to come if I succeed... True Freedom.

 

I quickly leave the docking bay and catch up with the others after what feels like a minute, we all get on the shuttle together, and as I look around and see many human faces, I get the feeling this will not be anywhere near what I expected of my trials to come... At the very least, discrimination alone will be quite common.

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(( For the record, I have decided the fanfic will be better if certain events play out differently, although I will try to keep to the main storyline, expect some twists and morphs along the way. In this case, I'm having Overseer Harkun give me a harder quest. ))

 

The ship ride lasts what feels like an hour, most of the enterprising young acolytes, as we are to be called, are all unsurprisingly racist. They pretty much encourage me to stand in a corner and shut up, but one human walks up to me during the trip. She has dark orange hair that flows down both sides of her face, ending around chin level, either blush or scars on both cheeks, along with blue-green eyes, she speaks in a voice that makes me think she would be better if I jacked the ship and sent us to Typhon.

"Why are you in a corner like this? No one wants to talk with you?"

You do, I think to myself. "Everyone here thinks a Twi'lek makes a more fitting slave then Sith, coming here wasn't fully my choice, but I intend to defy their expectations and become Sith."

"I'm Kory, a fellow acolyte, I was taken from my parents recently when they found I was force sensitive."

"Kuronan, I didn't know my parents that well, I was separated from them while they didn't mean much to me, back when I couldn't put forth a great effort to defy them."

"I'm sorry to hear that... You seem like a decent fellow, more then these other acolytes."

"They are all racists and fools, I'm glad I'm not the only one here with a heart. If they try anything against you..." I trail off, we both know what I'm going to say next, and such thinking early on is pretty easy to exploit, we leave it at that, and we simply share the back of the shuttle for the rest of the ride, silent, though I don't mind her company.

 

I'm given new clothes a few minutes before we arrive, courtesy of the chaperon, likely something he could use as a connection later on, but none the less I accept them graciously and go into a private stall to change into the robes, they are considerably more comfortable then the rags I was wearing before, I give them one last glance, fold them, and put them next to the toilet as I hear the shuttle doors open.

 

I follow the others off, taking a few extra moments to admire the scenery, a robed acolyte bumps into me rudely and takes a glance back, but not enough to see his face, and then proceeds forward, I go up to where the others are, and as they all leave, a man with a very rude expression stops me.

"The latecomer, I hope you don't think your special, or that you somehow got the idea you didn't need to pass your trials to become Sith! Now the rest of you gutter trash get going while I bring our latecomer up to speed." They all leave, as expected.

"Now, slave, in the tomb of Ajunta Pall in the innermost chambers, there is an artifact known to have powerful connections to the Dark Side, you will bring me this artifact or die, do you understand?"

"Ajunta Pall, Innermost Chamber, grab the Artifact, bring it back."

"But there, you know your trial, if you fail, you will die by the monsters inside the tomb, the looters, or by my hand, if you even think of coming back without the artifact."

 

As I enter the tomb, I notice a massive k'lor'slug infestation, I have a training saber and a bit of training, how the hell am I supposed to survive this? I press forward, and it isn't long before the k'lor'slugs notice the meat... they charge en masse and I can only bring down three lesser slugs before a big one, the broodmother I assume, sneaks under me and begins trying to consume me whole, I can feel the teeth tearing at my clothes and flesh, but I won't be a meal. I grab the rims of it's mouth and focus as much as possible, I release an electric burst, killing everything and overloading the k'lor'slug with electricity. I quickly kick the corpse off and inspect my wounds, I will need to find a makeshift tourniquet if I am to live to see nightfall. Thankfully, a looter is coming. I quickly focus and summon more lightning to kill him. After he falls flat on the floor, I try to get up but the wounds and my legs defy me, I am forced to drag myself to the corpse, where I rip off the man's clothing and quickly apply it to the wounded areas, I will need medical attention after this, but for now, this is the best I can do. I meditate upon the Dark Side, which removes most of the pain and closes the wounds somewhat.

 

After about a few hours of killing more k'lor'slugs (not letting them come close) and looters, I finally find the innermost chamber, this would have taken me ten minutes if I wasn't crippled from the remaining wounds. I limp inside, and take a holocron from the surface, as soon as I do, there is rumbling, I limp out, and barely escape as that small room collapses, likely a trap. I quickly try to gather my bearings and escape the tomb.

 

As I get outside I realize it is near nightfall, I half limp-half crawl to a medical droid, and it immediately assesses the situation, a few Kolto injections and proper bandaging and I can walk, although running will take some rest. I walk up to the temple and ignore everyone I see except for a guard, only to ask where Harkun is.

 

As I walk in, it's obvious the other students have long since passed their first, maybe second trial, I walk (painfully) to his desk and set down the holocron, and a wall couldn't hide the smile I had when I saw the look of shock on his face, he probably thought I was dead.

"It's... probably a fake, or stolen from the library." Feh, predictable, he tries to deny it. "Regardless, the other slaves have been brought to their quarters, your next trial, although not official, is to find them on your own." Bastard.

 

I ask a guard, and he is kind enough to point it out, as I get near them I hear panting, and not the good kind, I reach for my training saber before realizing that such a thing is useless. It's meant to shock, not kill! My lightning is far more effective! I quickly find the source, some bastards thought they could force themselves upon Kory, but I heard them... All of the good inside of me withdrew as a darker side arose, something I never knew... The acolytes don't realize what they are about to face and draw their training sabers.

"Suffer!" I shoot both arms forth, both of the arcs of lightning meet robes and flesh, both acolytes are stilled in shock, but I don't give them the possibility of life. They cry out as the lightning becomes something darker, I don't know how, but I begin tugging on the very strings that keep them alive. As they let out their last dieing gasp, I absorb their energy, and gawk at my hands, I did that?

 

"Kuronan, what did you just..." she breaks as I stare at her, I don't have any clue what I did either. Never have I heard of a Sith pulling on the very strings of life and death before, but there's no way a mere acolyte could manage something that no other Sith had. A guard arrives, likely from the screams rather then the actual event itself, as he rushes forward and feels for a pulse on the acolytes, he finds nothing. I look at him and he looks at me, he could report this, he could have me killed, but that would mean he risks getting killed himself by this unknown dark power, there are the obvious signs of shock, but the bodies themselves, and yes, I can tell, somehow show the very life being ripped from them. He quickly moves toward me and in the next few seconds I am in binds, likely to be executed... Until a tall, blonde and well-endowed woman steps forth.

"Do not dare harm that Twi'lek." The guard relents, and, after some persuasion, unlocks the binds, he apologies, I just dismiss him, he was just doing his job, can't blame him for that.

"I am Lord Zash, and you could be my apprentice, if you prove yourself worthy." I kneel before her, it's not the slave or the dark side, but rather my own free will. I know she has just offered me my very life on a platter, if I don't grab for it, I will die.

"I will do whatever you ask of me." I say, she motions for me to rise.

"Many other acolytes must do more trials to prove they are worthy, but you are already strong in the Force, in the tomb of Naga Sadow lies a map that I need, and this holocron will help you." I just now notice she is holding the holocron I presented to Overseer Harkin, I thank her once again, take the holocron, but then I look to Kory.

"What will happen to Kory?"

"She will be given another chance, I heard another Sith Lord recently lost his apprentice and is coming to Korriban to gain a new one." I look at her, we both get the feeling she won't survive, she likely won't be that apprentice, I wing her a silent prayer, well, silent to everyone but her and me anyway, and head to the tomb of Naga Sadow.

 

I don't walk far before I turn back, thankfully Zash is still there. "I'm gonna sleep first." She laughs, I don't know, but I taste a very, very weak poison, yes, I have tasted it, it's actually somewhat pleasant if they blend it right...

"I expected as much, even I can tell you aren't fully recovered from that little incident."

"How do you know about that?"

"You think I can't tell, with those scattered bits of blood on your leg bandages, or the rips on the pants? It's kind of hard not to tell." She leaves, as I wonder where she is going, Kory motions me inside.

"Thanks for saving me from them... I can't believe someone would do that..." I look to the corpses, I spit on one of them.

"People like this deserve to die, simply because they can't understand a simple No." I look to her, I can tell she's every bit as innocent as I give her credit for, then unintentionally notice that although she put her clothes back on, they aren't done properly.

"You aren't going to..." She looks into my eyes and begs, but I answer her before I even saw.

"I would never do that, it's disgusting and wrong, I was raised far better then that."

"Thank you..."

I nod, then think about where my quarters are, she notices and answers my question for me.

"You weren't given quarters, we all thought you died doing whatever Harkun sent you to do... And there are no more rooms left... I could share my room with you until you recover..."

"No, I couldn't-"

"It's not like you have anywhere else to sleep, and I don't mind, really... You saved me from them, it's the least I can do." I notice she's insistent, and it's true that I'm not likely to get quarters until dawn, so I agree, although nothing else happens, and despite her protests, I sleep on the floor. Although cold, I would not ask Kory to do this, or to squeeze in, that's not who I am...

 

As I get up from the ground, I feel some pain, obviously sleeping on a cold, metal floor was going to have side effects, I expected it. I shake it off, and leave, Kory was waiting at the door.

"I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I hope you pass." I smile, I hope she passes, although it's unlikely.

"I hope this isn't goodbye." She leans in, but I put a finger to her lips. "I'll only kiss you if you make it as an apprentice, I'm giving you a reason to get a master, you understand?" She nods, I don't like being the one saying no, but I am determined to give her every reason to survive this and become a Sith.

Edited by Kuronan
This story is meant to be Graphic.
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Really enjoying the story so far! Just a few notes that might be able to help you out.

 

Your over use of commas is a bad habit you should try and get out of. Whenever I write I fall into the same thing as well =/

Also, sometimes you're falling out of context; you need to give description within the story without breaking away from what's happening with the characters.

 

Apart from that, I am genuinely really enjoying your thread =]

 

Keep it up!

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Thank you very much for your constructive criticism, I love writing this almost as much as playing the actual game, and I love knowing people are reading and enjoying it, it only makes me feel better knowing others are enjoying my own fantasy. Comments are appreciated and do encourage me to keep going.

 

I do not know how to properly describe the background story without spoiling anything, most of the information you see is what I intend to tell. I can throw you a bone on some extra information on Kuronan if you ask for it, but other then that, no real characters have been introduced, though you won't have to wait long to see Kuronan's first companion.

 

Right now I'm winging it, I feel it's better if I stay in the moment and don't plan ahead. That gives a chance for surprises and also removes any chance for spoilers, which I have a hard time keeping to myself. A special note is I have February vacation next week. If I'm motivated enough, I might focus more on the story, however my left arm feels clubbed, as in it's feeling uncomfortable to move around, so no story today.

Edited by Kuronan
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I'm having a problem in considering my first companion, on one hand, I want it to be Vette, because, you know, only Twi'lek companion in the whole game and she's already in the temple, might bring out a romance arc later on if I grab her.

 

On the other hand, I'm going into Tulak Hord's tomb, and am very likely to meet Khem, my character will (naturally) be a Sorcerer, so either me or Vette taking any kind of damage is kind of questionable, plus this character will probably be leaning towards an evil or chaotic alignment, so Khem as a companion might be good, and plus, I LOVE asking him what he does in front of hostile force users.

 

So I'd like to know from the people reading this, should I grab Khem or Vette? or should I see if I can pull off both? Thoughts?

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I think, seeing as he is an inquisitor, he should have Khem as his companion but you could still include Vette. Rock sounds like a potential warrior and you could probably involve him somehow and bring Vette along with him. But that is just my opinion

 

P.S. brilliant story thus far, bit apprehensive about reading it for fear of spoilers but as this is in the early stages I'm no too worried. Keep it up! :)

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As I leave the Temple, I get a chill up my spine at the thought of never returning. I shake it off, I survived in Ajunta Pall's Tomb, I will survive here and I WILL become Sith. I get to the shuttles before I am stopped by an Overseer.

"Hold Acolyte." I stop as he commands me to and turn to him.

"I look at you and I wonder, just how loyal are you to our glorious Empire?"

"Do you always accuse random strangers of treachery and sedition?" I look at him and don't care what he looks like, I'm not in the mood for random games.

"Before you do anything else, take this scanner, use it to identify heretics, and kill them, return when you have proven your loyalty." I take it grudgingly. Great, now I have to do some random chore an Overseer can't be bothered to do himself...

 

I go the exact opposite way of the tomb of Naga Sadow to find Sith Acolytes, it doesn't take them long to put two and two together and realize I'm not here to revel in their delusions of a grande Empire under their pathetic rule. They draw training sabers, it doesn't take me two seconds to shoot my arms out and electrocute one of them before they are even ready to charge, I kill another before he gets in range, the third's training saber meets mine, I stick my hand in his mouth and let loose, he dies quickly. The remote beeps, the Overseer is satisfied, I turn around.

 

As I return triumphant, he remarks my skill. "Not many Acolytes can kill three traitors in so little time, you will go far." he looks at me, offering me a few (hundred) credits for my trouble, which there really wasn't any.

"Am I finished now? I have other duties to attend to..."

"Not so fast, Overseer Harkun needs to speak with you." I sigh, obviously he's not done with me, despite Zash's direct orders. I turn and go back to the Academy.

 

As I find my way to Overseer Harkun's chambers, I can remember why he sent me to die, he hates me simply because I was a Twi'lek slave. I get the feeling he would pay a heavy sum to have me killed.

"You have another test before you go into Tulak Hord's tomb, Inquisitor Zyn in the torture chambers needs to approve you before you can go." I sigh, and walk to the Torture Chambers.

 

When I finally get there, I look around, I go to the room most to the right and upon turning to my left find the most beautiful Twi'lek I have ever seen, her red skin and crimson eyes and painting patterns are so akin to mine we could be damned well twins! She is shocked as she turns to me.

"You are in the wrong place slave." I turn a bit and notice a slave overseer, I glare at him simply because I already know his kind, he takes immense pleasure in that remote in his hand, to cause a slave suffering for any reason he wishes. he points me to the other room, the one that was directly across from the way into the torture and slave pens. I nod and leave, but before that, I look into the Twi'lek's eyes and make a silent pact to get her the hell out if I have to kill this overseer.

As I leave the room, I see the human, I ask her how Rock and the pureblood are doing. "Both dead." She says without emotion, I never asked her name, she reads my mind. "Rose, just call me Rose." She moves past me, I get the feeling there are other people in there I didn't notice or simply didn't care about, but I go to Zyn's office.

 

He turns to me as I enter. "Ah, Acolyte, I was wondering whether you were even coming or not. Now, to business... You were once a slave, to become a Sith lord you must discard those traits. For this, you will need to interrogate this acolyte..." He motions to a human bound on a torture table. "... there was what we call an Unauthorized Murder in the Academy, two apprentice's feud ended in one dieing, and we don't know who killed who, His acolyte was present, make him talk." I figure there is only one way he can talk...

"Cover your ears, this may get a little loud."

"Thank you for warning me, but I prefer to cherish every scream." I turn to the acolyte and he says the predictable "I'm not telling you anything."

"Scream weakling, I want to hear your suffering!" I shoot out my right arm and unleash lightning on him, as he cries out, I feel sadistic pleasure bubble throughout me... So this is torture, I love it!

"Please, don't do that again..." His begging falls on deaf ears.

"What shouldn't I do again? This?" I shoot out out lightning from both hands now, I get a creepy smile and a hell of a lot of pleasure and fun from this!

"Okay, okay, I'll talk, he'll kill me, but I'll talk. the apprentice's name is Kayne, Essor Kayne." (forgive me if I messed it up, been a while)

"Good luck." I say sarcastically, as I turn back to Zyn.

"You don't have to tell me, I already heard the name... Essor Kayne... kayne is the apprentice of a Dark Council member, it would be unwise to oppose him." I look at him, thinking he's telling me to do it.

"I got you a name, it's your problem, not mine." His facial expression tells me he never meant it like that.

"That's all, you can go to your Tomb now." I get a disappointed face, and he knows what I'm going to say. "Oh I know, it is so hard to stop once you have started, but we don't have any further use for him... But you can shock him one more time, for the road." I smile brightly, and turn to the acolyte. "Something to remember me by." I shoot out both arms as he screams in agony one more time, Inquisitor Zyn says one more thing. "It is a shame that another has her eye on you, I wouldn't mind you as an apprentice." I leave content.

 

As I leave, I see Rose, now with the Twi'lek, she approaches me as I turn to her.

"i could hear the screaming in there, I hope you had fun." Although I get the feeling the beautiful Twi'lek will disapprove, I respond truthfully.

"You want the truth? Best time of my life." I smile wide, though no teeth are showing.

"I'm glad for you, have fun with your trials... And try not to get eaten..." She sighs, and I wonder how many people know about that by now, I shake it off and proceed to the Tomb, this time I am not stopped...

Edited by Kuronan
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As I reach the tomb of Naga Sadow I notice how the walls all seem a dark blue coloring, I admire the scenery for a moment before I get a poke on the shoulder. I turn around to Rose and Vette.

"I have to go in there for my Light saber anyway, how about we go in as a team?" I smile and nod, any excuse to be with Vette "I don't recall your name..."

"Kuronan." I say as I turn to Vette, somehow almost completely ignoring the human, she slaps me.

"Focus on the tomb, not my slave." I only just now notice Vette still has her collar, she turns her head, figures.

 

As we venture inside, we find many failed acolytes and appropriately kill them. I'm sticking with my lightning, Vette's good with blasters, and Rose is beating them to hell and back with that training saber. I'm beyond glad it's just a training saber right now. As we continue on, I look more at the holocron, it details some scepters, which I am gathering, and Vette is flipping some hidden switches. I'm debating with Rose on who's trial we're finishing first, Vette is finding and flipping some switch.

"Your trial so far has been easy, and mine isn't that far off."

"Neither is mine, I don't even know why you insist you go first. Look, you let me do my trial and I won't beat you to a pulp."

"You're going to have to be more convincing then that. Don't forget I'm stronger with the Force."

"Look, we do my trial first and you can stare at Vette all you want."

"A hollow offering, remove the collar."

"There's no way that thing is coming off."

"Unless you want to do your trial alone, then it'll come off, I could easily remove Vette's collar and leave you for dead here."

"Fine..."

"Good." Then it's decided, She goes first, and Vette won't be wearing that collar for long.

 

As we delve deeper inside we find the split, we go to the right chamber first, as per our agreement. we break a few droids and Vette tells us she'll find the switch, I immediately shoot lightning into a corner and catch an apprentice off guard. He draws his glowing stick. "Keep looking slave, I'll finish with your master quickly." I immediately sit down and meditate my energies into the connections I hold with life and death. He charges at me but Rose stops him, after they trade a few hits I get up and shoot out both arms at the apprentice. He screams as I, very painfully, rip the life from him. Rose and Vette both stare at me in sheer horror.

"What? I am strong in the Force, like I mentioned earlier..."

"I don't think even a Darth could pull that off." Rose says as she stares at me with a half-opened jaw.

"I'm pretty sure it only works on Organics, and I have to meditate for a couple of seconds before I can do it." That's a lie, the first time I did it the change was almost instantaneous... "Anyway, Vette, find the switch." She turns back to the door, after staring for a couple of seconds I whistle quite audibly, and my groin couldn't agree more, thank the Force I am wearing robes.

 

As we beat the crap out of more droids we find a tomb, Rose grabs her light saber using the force (show off more, will you?) The statues nearby break and reveal very horribly decayed servants who raise training sabers. I shrug and shoot out more lightning, no big deal I figure, they are organic, I'll fry them. Vette and Rose jump in before they get close enough to whack me, like it'd do any real damage...

 

We go out, and this time we enter my area, there are tons of droids, but little walking space, I get a bold idea.

"Get behind a corner, now, I can handle these things."

"It's your life." Rose says as she and Vette duck behind a corner, I shout out very audibly how pathetic these droids are, then get behind a corner of my own. After they get up en mass, I suddenly pop out and unleash a nova of pure force energy, which sends them all flying off the cliff. Vette and Rose both get out of the corner, Vette gives me a cute remark.

"Is there anything you CAN'T do?"

"I can't warp the fabric of reality, or cook." She laughs at the latter.

 

We continue inward, most of the droids are dealt with, we kill the remaining. I put the rods into the altars as the holocron instructed, and meditate on a platform between them. They all immediately begin shocking me, but it's more of an empowering shock, it takes me a few seconds, but I get used to the power, I get up and throw both arms at the door, sending as much power as possible into it and blow it to pieces, revealing the inner chamber. I motion for them to follow, and I feel a change in the air around me, as though I have gained a sort of empowering residue of electricity around me.

 

As we walk up to the Dashade, he mocks me and talks about Tulak Hord, I don't pretend to know anything about either him or Tulak Hord, he breaks through the stasis field that his master put him in, I motion the others to stay back and gather as much power as I can... After a few minutes of deflecting and force lightning, he submits. (Thank the Force, I was almost about to lose myself.) We go to the other side of the walkway and break through the wall, we kill a bunch of sky'rees (or whatever is in there) and find a huge Sithspawn guarding the map! That F***ing Figures. We all brandish our weapons, and I begin to meditate. As they others trade blows, I feel strain in trying to rip the life from this humongous creature, though I'm not surprised. After a few minutes, I begin to sever the weakened links to it's life, and it goes down with a huge thump. I get the map and we all leave the tomb.

 

I split up with Rose and Vette, and return to Zash's office triumphant.

"Well done apprentice, I knew you could do it. As a reward, I hereby pronounce you my apprentice. take this light saber and meet me on Dromund Kaas." She throws me a light saber, I catch it and feel the pure dark energy within, it pleasures my soul in ways I would have never guessed possible, I bow to her. "With it, I will do out your will My Lord." I turn and leave for the shuttles, with Rose and Vette waiting, I get the feeling we're all going to the same place.

Edited by Kuronan
Grammar.
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No, we actually did far more for the Inquisitor storyline, we had to do at least 3 trials in 3 tombs. Do remember it usually takes at a week of playtime before you hit 50, I'm in a serious rush to get off Korriban, because the planet really doesn't have as much storytelling as it could for my character. He's not powerful enough yet so I'm really trying to get him though most of the crappy stuff while still staying at least somewhat accurate to the storyline.

 

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Korriban after this. I don't think I'll be coming back except maybe for a future companion. (possibly, I don't bother trying to nail down every detail) most of the storyline is also cleaner in the game, I want this to be graphic because that offers more depth in it. Children's Stories are nowhere near as detailed as say, Stephen King. basically the more graphic it gets, the more detail is allowed, this i have learned though the years.

 

Also, many of the elements I include in the storyline are not present in the Inquisitor storyline, Rose does not exist and Vette is a purely Sith Warrior companion, but as a Twi'lek, I feel it necessary for her to have a place in my story (I damn wish I could have her as an in-game companion for inquisitor.) and someone like Rose could offer many opportunities in my story, she could evolve into a romance, she could become my wife, or she could end up trying to kill me if I ever get in her way.

 

Please also note I was in somewhat of a rush to give you guys something to read when I wrote that last part, I'll go through and edit a bit so it's better.

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As the shuttle brings us to our destination, I look at the solid gray metals and white lights surrounding us. I'd wager that the Republic Fleet is probably more welcoming, but at this point I could really care less. We step off the transport, and Rose takes no time to figure out where the elevator is. She waves me and Khem Val over and brings us up to the main level.

 

The doors open, and I see a decent amount of people coming and going. It's not like we'll have to wrestle our way though but the ship definitely has a lot of passengers. I notice a lord waving me over, and see Rose go over to a similar figure. I go to the waving man.

"You are Kuronan, apprentice to Lord Zash, correct?" I smile and make a sarcastic response.

"What gave it away, the crimson skin or the dark painting on my skin?"

"Lord Zash requests that you hone your skills, some Sith take the martial path, like your friend there." he waves to Rose "but your master is more interested in the arcane arts of the Force." I cross my arms.

"I prefer to keep myself versatile."

"If you do not learn one skill or another, then your versatility will mean little." I sigh, he points into a part of the ship. "Speak to one of the lords there for further training."

 

As i navigate the crowded halls I realize this ship is probably more populated then any Imperial City, I quickly make my way to a fellow Twi'lek, whom has a dark aura about him, he speaks Huttesse, which annoys me greatly, it always takes me a few extra moments to figure out what's coming out of their mouth...

"Ah, so you arrive. The path of the Assassin is one with the Shadows, you may kill an enemy before they even realize you are there. On the other hand, the path of the Sorcerer is one where you directly manipulate and influence your surroundings using the Force. Choose wisely, for you cannot change your decision." He pulls out two items, one is a force focus, a trinket used as a conduit for force energy, the other is a double bladed light saber, I hear it takes great skill to master them. I take the double bladed light saber, and then boldly state. "I will master the ways of the Sorcerer, but I will learn a few of the Assassin's tricks and tools."

"Such a thing has never been done in the history of the-" I glare into his eyes, showing a powerful determination. I do not wish to MASTER this light saber, but I will learn how to use it, and how to cloak myself in the shadows. Anything beyond that is none of my concern. I say this without a single word between us, after a few moments, he reluctantly teaches me how to use this marvelous weapon. I also learn how to cloak myself and Khem Val. The teacher gives me one last warning. "You can only do this because you have the will, but remember that he who tries both cannot master either." I laugh at the concept, but thank him for the concern.

 

As I inspect the light saber closer, I feel a sort of combination, of both sides of the Force, the blades are purple. The hilt has unending force lightning inside, most of the hilt itself is actually a very strong glass, so one can sit and meditate into the saber without disassembling it. The ends are both very technical looking, yet are simple upon inspection. It speaks to me without words. "You are strong in the force, wield me, and we will become legends." (Sith Inquisitor double-bladed light saber art, bottom)

 

I find Rose soon, she has learned how to use two light sabers, impressive indeed. We head out to the Dromund Kaas port. But first we have a drink at the Cantina, which is popular. As we enter the elevator, the doors close. Odd, I feel like I belong here, in the Empire, as a Sith. As we begin to move to the shuttles, someone stops us.

"You are Kuronan and Rose, correct?"

"We are." Rose says on instinct.

"You have been given first class shuttle tickets on the Black Talon, which is likely to be a far faster route then the shuttle you were heading towards."

"Glad to hear it." We both turn and head into the Black Talon's docking bay, somehow I feel this won't be a time to kick back and relax.

Edited by Kuronan
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(( I'm looking back at my entries and realizing I'm not really using this fanfic to what I could be doing, most other fanfics don't follow the story either but they make their own stories and do not interfere with major characters, I think I should try it myself, so go ahead and tell me what you think of it later. I'll start off on the Black Talon, but from here things are gonna get bumpy. ))

 

As I get off, I notice this place is very open... This ship could probably hold five hundred slaves in it with ease, and that's when I begin thinking that's probably the number of men on the crew. Rose waves me over to a very clean woman with chocolate hair, he formality as she greets us suggests she is a major loyalist to the Empire, and very respectable.

"I'm Lieutenant Sylas, second in command of the Black Talon, we're your ride to Dromund Kaas." I smile without showing any teeth, it's an odd feeling, being respected rather then thrown and commanded around.

"Is there a reason your Captain isn't bothering to greet me?" There goes Rose, I guess being born into this system makes you somewhat arrogant...

"The captain likes to keep to himself mostly. I would like to add on behalf of everyone it's a pleasure to service Korriban and the Sith Academy. Consider yourself our guests." I open my mouth but here comes Vette.

"*Ahem* Thanks for noticing I'm not Sith..." I suppose she makes an odd point, I don't think I've yet learned just how much of a presence being a Sith adds.

"My apologies, I'll inform you when we arrive at Dromund Kaas. Before you get settled in, your droid is waiting for you, we picked him up along with the upgrades from Geonosis. When we docked, it mentioned your names."

"There must be some mistake, I don't have a droid." Or anything besides my robes and a light saber I'd like to add, but somehow I feel I'd insult Rose if I said that.

"Oh? Well, you should speak with it either way. In the mean time, if there's anything else you need, feel free to bother the crew." She leaves but before she does she walks up to a guard. Standard outfit, which oddly I do like the look of. "And you, stop playing honor guard and get back to your post." He stands at attention. "Yes sir."

 

We walk past the men and women, the Droid wasn't that far, probably no more then sixty meters. "Identity confirmed. Good day, I am advanced protocol unit NR-02. My functions are Diplomacy, Translation, Manslaughter, and Calumniation. (That's basically spreading false statements about, slandering. I actually had to look it up.) I have an urgent message for you from my master, please stand by for delivery." Rose opens her mouth, but I answer before she can be an *** about it.

"You have my complete, undivided attention."

"this is unit NR-02 to Grand Moff Kilran, you are now in contact with the Black Talon." A somewhat large man with horrible burn scars on his face appears in a holo.

"Well so I am, and it seems you brought me just the people I've been looking for. My name is Rycus Kilran. I'm commander of the Fifth Fleet, second in command to the Minister of War, and-my personal favorite-the so called 'Butcher of Corusant'."

I look at him, half shock from the burns, but also half stun that I'm speaking to one of the most influential non-force using people in the Empire. Damn, my life is definitely changing... "An Imperial Grand Moff, what a delightful surprise. What can I do for you?"

"Six hours ago, the Republic engaged in an illegal border skirmish on the edges of Imperial Territory, two ships escaped (yes, I am starting the alterations now.) One is currently being intercepted, the Brentaal Star. the Second, the Esseles, holds an a known republic terrorist and seditionist, the 'ambassador', Vyn Asara. Your vessel is the only vessel able to intercept."

"Too bad for you I have better things to do." I seriously want to hit Rose in the face for that. I'm not even from the Empire and even I know you don't piss off or disobey a Grand Moff. They give you an order, you follow it or your vessel will never reach port.

"Not rightfully so, allow me to re-explain how this works. I am an Imperial Grand Moff, I have the authority to declare your ship unauthorized for landing. If you don't do this, I will do so and you will never reach port." He lets it settle in Rose's head that she can't disobey his orders, although somehow I get the feeling he knows he can trust me more. "Captain Orzik-the man commanding your vessel-doesn't share my enthusiasm, he's disobeyed my orders to attack. Feel free to show him what the Empire does to cowards. Then commandeer his ship, intercept the Esseles, and capture or kill the 'Ambassador'.

"I've been looking for a reason to cause some Chaos." Rose again, though I somehow agree with her. There is no way he'll just lie down and give us his ship.

"Truthfully it's comforting to find patriots in this age of Skirmishes and Border Disputes, we'll need individuals like you if we're to survive the next great war." NR-02 shows us the way to the bridge.

 

We quickly come across a problem, soldiers stand in our way.

"Halt. This is a restricted area-Captain Orzik's command. You'll have to leave immediately." I look at him with eyes begging him to back down, for his own sake.

"I don't want to kill you, but if you stand in my way like this you'll give me no other options. please back down."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Rose immediately pulls out her light saber and talks as she force charges one of the soldiers. "Die like the traitors you are!" I facepalm painfully, this could have been settled peacefully. The others pull out their blasters but I'm already at my light saber. I throw it spinning forward and watch the beautiful weapon cut three people down before it returns to me, Rose smiles.

"If you weren't so focused on avoiding battle I swear I'd be in love with you."

"We have higher priorities then making me blush." I do feel it but because my skin is already colored crimson it's not possible to tell. Vette chuckles as she and Rose charge into the fray to take even more lives. She deflects the bolts with ease as she cuts these men down. I let the shadows consume me and stick with ambush attacks and spinning my light saber to kill as many as possible, NR-02 reassures us that it won't matter how many we kill.

 

It's not long before we reach the bridge, ten man stand between us and the Captain. Vette throws a grenade, Khem Val (almost forgot him) charges in with Rose to take them down. I only kill two with my light saber before they are all dead. We approach the Captain, who doesn't seem intent on testing his blaster skills.

"What's going on? Sir-" an engineer. "Stay calm ensign, everyone stay calm." I immediately point at NR-02 before Rose can open her wise cracking mouth. "Call the med-bay, I want help for the injured-NOW!" he responds respectfully "Acknowledged, medical assistance will be properly rendered." Captain Orzik looks at me, relieved. "Thanks for that, I appreciate it. I'm Captain Revinal Orzik, I'm pretty sure I know what this is about. For the record I take complete responsibility for my actions."

"Thank you captain, if nothing else, that should make it easier on the crew." I'm glad that this captain respects his crew even more then he does his own life. I'm also glad he's not begging us for mercy, I hate seeing that. Reminds me too much of Alderaan. I look at him and know he knows exactly what's going on.

"The Black Talon would be destroyed chasing that ship. I've fought in a war before and I'll fight again but I don't do suicide missions." Rose brandishes her light saber. "Suicide was deciding you could ignore your superiors!" She swings, but I have mine out and block the hit quickly.

"I will not let you kill him, this man has the decency to face Death itself and beg his crew be pardoned rather then himself, I will not let you kill such a person!" I glare at her, she curves her lips to a cruel smile.

"Then you are a traitor to the Empire." I emit an electric blast that sends her and the others back and conduct a powerful charge in my light saber. I'll gladly fight Rose over this man's life. She charges but I deflect the attack, she immediately gets back up and continues to strike me, both light sabers of red fury and hatred slamming down and swiping, but I meet every blow, the blade and I are bound into one being. Every time I wish to move the blade it flows to meet where I angle it. Vette stays out for a few seconds, then Khem Val sees this as an opportunity to serve a better master. he charges at me but Vette pulls out her blasters and throws a grenade before peppering him with blaster fire. Both I and Rose sacrifice a few openings to each other to deflect the shots that go straight through my now Swiss Dashade. As soon as Vette realizes he's dead she stops. Rose attempts to swing both light sabers at my torso but I duck and spin, ripping apart her legs, then slicing her chest wide open to make sure she's dead. the others just gawk. I just killed a Sith, and now they are down two important allies. I put away my light saber.

 

"I'm sorry it had to end like this, I promise none of you will suffer the same fate." I say this in an attempt to calm the crew, it works. Vette looks at me, I just killed her master. Is she free, or has her ownership just changed hands? She and I both look at each other, as though our stares were an intimate debate that none of them could interrupt. The room goes silent, anticipating what comes next. I gather my senses.

"Vette, I have killed your master, you are now my slave." I say in a way that connects a hidden message to Vette. I will let you be free, for now, just act along with it. I turn to Revinal Orzik. "Nothing matters if we don't get that passenger, I'm sorry we have to do this, but we can't disobey a Grand Moff." He nods appropriately, neither of us want to go through with it, but at this point we both know we'll just end up space debris if we don't finish what we started. NR-02 hits a few buttons on his screen.

"Downloading new orders to all consoles. Priority one: Intercept the Esseles."

"Brukkara, prepare to jump to light speed."

"Aye sir." I watch the stars flow by as we quickly get behind the vessel. I watch as Orzik respectfully asks his crew to activate the tractor beam rather then command them. I wish I could be as well respected and honorable as this man. I don't think I am but I could be wrong.

 

After a few moments of what could be no more or less then three minutes of preparation and execution, Captain Orzik asks if I will be on the interception ship. I nod, I turn around to ask Vette, but she nods before I even say a word. I'm glad I could have such a beautiful and trusting woman at my side. We proceed to the shuttle bay to hop onto an interception shuttle and board the Esseles.

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As the shuttle goes forward I wonder what it'd be like for the crew of the Esseles, being randomly attacked by an imperial ship out of nowhere. I get a message on my Holocom, I accept it and there stands Kilran. "The crew knows you are coming. It's a shame about your friends, but casualties are acceptable. I am told you killed her defending Orzik. Not the best strategic move but for your cooperation I've instructed the crew of the Black Talon to move the corpse and plant evidence she died in a hit from an enemy warship, we'll make it more convincing after your bring in the Ambassador." I nod and thank Kilran for it, he smiles.

"As long as I get the Ambassador or she ends up dead I won't ask any more from you... for now anyway." I get the feeling somehow this will be the last time we speak, I give him my blessing and end the call. I put away my holocommunicator as the pilot tells me we are landing. Vette and I take a few seconds to prepare then go to the door as it opens. Five normal guards and two Jedi stand in my way.

 

One is... wearing some kind of intricate blindfold of some kind. I wonder how the hell he sees with it on. the other is a pink Twi'lek I'll guess is a Padawan. The Padawan speaks.

"I am Yadira Ban, Padawan of the Jedi Order, You will not take anyone from this crew, turn back now."

"I'm afraid i can't accept that. I have orders from Grand Moff Kilran to take a passenger, if I don't follow that order our ship will never dock. Surrender her to me and I will not kill anyone. I don't want to kill you Padawan, but I will do it if you give me no other options."

"I am giving you another option Sith, turn back now." I'm surprised she isn't trying to convert me to the Republic. I sigh.

"Why does it always have to come to blows? Why can't people just be reasonable?" I use force persuasion on the guards. "You will shoot to kill the Jedi and Padawan." They obey, the Jedi and Padawan disable them, but it gives me enough time to shroud me and Vette. It's much easier with her because she's not some hulking brute and she's probably as acrobatic as me... I keep up the shadow long enough to put my light saber against Yadira's back. I unleash it before she can turn around, I hear a painful gasp and receive no pleasure from it like last time... last time it was a choice to kill someone who I knew nothing about, this time I was forced to kill my kin. I will shed a single tear, and silently wish it could have gone differently. Vette shoots the master (or maybe he was a Padawan too?) in the back of the head, at least they feel no pain. I cup my left hand, now a fist, into my right and pray for them to become one with the Force or whatever it is the Jedi do when they die. I only do this for a few moments before I pull out my light saber, add a charge and go to the elevator.

 

Vette and Me fight as a very well coordinated team. I usually charge in to kill them or ambush them from the shadows. Vette keeps her distance and throws grenades. Sometimes I'll stay back with her and shoot lightning if I feel it would be better. I also focus some energy into force healing if either of us get hit after a battle. I don't know how I learned this, but it's definitely helpful.

As we continue onward we pass through a door and immediately I push Vette and myself to the left, although for a slight second Vette thought I was trying to get intimate with her in the middle of a hostile enemy ship, an explosion disagreed with it. We get back up and jump aside to dodge a second rocket. We wait a couple of seconds, then cloak ourselves in the Force. We sneak behind the rocket launching men who thought they did something right and killed them.

 

A general greeted us in the next room. "I'm Commander Narlock, you Imps aren't getting past me." he's followed by at least seven friends... I kind of wish Rose was still alive, but suddenly I get reinforcements. "Black Talon marines reporting in sir!" "I didn't ask for any marines, get back to the Ship, you can't take any more casualties!" I say this and point to the docking bay but even the Republic knows they aren't going to leave and I do need them. I sigh and facepalm at the same time. "You want to help then? I guess I could use the help, but after this get back to the Black Talon!" they nod and aim. They fire before the Republic gets any idea of what the hell I was just telling them to do. Everyone dives for cover except me. I sit and meditate on the Force. A blaster rifle shoots at me but the shot was too rushed, it missed by a foot. I quickly get back up and extend both arms, I suddenly am levitating as the republic troops suddenly begin grasping at their chest plates. It's as though I'm clawing straight into their hearts as they cry out in pain and die off. Commander Narlock lines up a shot and fires. It hits me in the left lung. One of the imperial marines fires at his humongous face and hits the brain like a giant painted bulls-eye, he goes down immediately after impact. The sniper quickly gives me some Kolto, I nearly gag from the pain, but I move myself enough to meditate on the dark side. it closes the wound in a few moments. I tell the others to get back to the ship. I can handle the rest. They reluctantly agree, but one soldier stays.

"I'm not leaving sir." It's the soldier that gave me the Kolto.

"Fine, just try not to get shot at okay? I'd rather have a guy cowering behind cover then a dead soldier."

"I don't cower sir, but I'll stay behind cover and try to assist." It's the best I'll get from him. We proceed to the bridge. Aside from a few skirmishes there isn't much resistance my light saber throws and Vette's grenades can't handle. The soldier clocks a few kills himself.

 

When we get to the bridge I see three trained troopers and another Jedi. I also see a Jedi on the Holocommunicator. Finally, I see the ambassador, a blue Twi'lek that could obviously persuade a man into her room, if you know what I mean. The Jedi Master, whom is also attractive and a human, speaks.

"This is grandmaster Satele Shan of the Jedi Council. This is your last chance to surrender to the Republic. lay down your weapons and face trial or be cut down where you stand."

"This only happened because your captain and men wouldn't surrender one damned person. I told you she's all I wanted and I wouldn't destroy the ship if you just handed her over. Your inflexibility and refusal to think clearly in a given situation is EXACTLY why I CHOSE to become a Sith! That and your hatred of emotion!" I say with a fire burning in my heart. Satele calmly answers.

"Jedi are prone to emotion but we do not allow ourselves to be molded by them. Your passion has lead you down a dark path, but you can still be saved. Tell your ship to retreat and you will face a fair trial, this I swear." For a moment I actually consider surrendering but I shake it off.

"You Jedi offer peace, but what peace is there in feeling nothing? You claim to be the protectors of the Galaxy but if you really did as you say you do then the Empire wouldn't even exist! I am proof you cannot do what is necessary and yet you bar yourself to emotion. Know that when I kill you-" I point directly at Satele, making this very personal. "-that I will do it out of my Passion, my Passion to live as a free man, as a slave to no one, not you, not the Darth or Jedi Council, not to your ridiculous Code, or even to the Empire!" I shout the last bit and control rage so potent I can literally feel it pump through my veins, the air around me tenses and becomes so electrically conducted it gains an oppressive presence. Vette backs up to the sniper who's at least twenty feet away. The Jedi and troopers brandish weapons but I roar quite powerfully as the air around me becomes a literal Tsunami of electric and dark energy. I throw both arms forward and send it crashing down on the Jedi and Troopers. They scream in ungodly agony as they fall. I half run, half warp to the console and slam my now brandished light saber on it before Satele can react to my ungodly rage. After a few moments I look at my hands, coated in an invisible blood. This is the power of the Sith? How, in the name of the Emperor, did we lose the first war?! I turn to the ambassador, who is now cowering in a corner. I calm myself enough to not bash her in the face for not surrendering herself the instant she knew. I point my light saber to her.

"Surrender or Die." She nods and gets up to follow me, at this point I get the feeling she thinks that somehow if I kill her I will send her soul to eternal torment and damnation.

 

I begin walking to the elevators, but I realize this isn't enough, I want this ship to serve as an example to anyone who defies me or stands against me. I hit the reactor button, Vette asks what I'm doing but I do not answer. We fight our way to the reactor before she really gets insistent.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this ship an example of how I will not be defied." I say in the darkest voice I have ever spoke in. It's as though the Dark Side has washed away the good in me, that this entire trip has consumed my heart and soul and left a black void. She gets somewhat scared and shuts up as I set the reactor to go critical in thirty minutes. I electrocute the console until it explodes to prevent a failsafe, then head back to the elevator and the shuttle port.

 

As I reach the ship everyone gets inside, we leave and reach the Black Talon in a few minutes. Orzik wants to hit light speed but I tell them to shut down the tractor beam and watch. After a minute goes by, the reactor core of the Esseles goes critical and the entire ship explodes. I then speak in the most malicious and dark voice I can muster.

"From now on, the Esseles will be an example of what happens when you defy a Dark Lord of the Sith!" I'm not a lord, but the power I mustered could only be matched by a Darth. NR-02 patches in Kilran as I have the guards bring in the Ambassador. "NR-02 was kind enough to send me a report of what happened outside, and it appears you captured the Ambassador. If I may know, why did you blow up the ship?"

"To make an example." I say darkly and matter of factly. The Dark Side is strong with me, I can feel it in my veins now.

"Ah, of course, I would have done the same thing. You should be proud, this is one of many operations we're conducting across the galaxy, it's a new beginning to the war."

"Remember this, and let it become an example of what happens when you don't just defy me, but when you defy the Empire!"

"Such fire, I can feel it through the holocommunicator. If it comes to blows, we'll use the reports and memories as an example of what happens when you defy a Sith. We'll know who to contact if we ever need a powerful individual for jobs like this. Kilran Out." The transmission cuts. the ship jumps to light speed and we arrive at Dromund Kaas.

Edited by Kuronan
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The Black Talon docks at the orbital station near Dromund Kaas. As I exit the ship my head suddenly throbs with an ungodly amount of pain and my vision goes black as the void.

 

I find myself in a place that could make one question their sanity. On one side is a black void lit up by a massive fire. That side is the dominant side and controls most of the area. The side I have my back towards is blue and calming. It is the bane of the other side, but the other side dominates most of the area. A dark figure approaches me... It IS me! But it's different. It's pale, pale unlike anything I have ever seen before. It's eyes are red like a Chiss but somehow they startle me. It lures me closer with unspoken promises of power and freedom. It speaks in the dark voice I was using aboard the Talon and Esseles when I was in my rage.

"I am Darth Kuronan, I am a man beyond life and death. I am immortal in all aspects, and my power is near that of the Emperor himself. Join me, and we will rule all life, not just the Empire."

 

I turn from the being as I hear a sort of humming behind me. The image is a more accurate version of me. It is coated by a golden aura that calms me and makes me dream of a better tomorrow. It's promises counteract those of it's dark counterpart, promising peace and clarity but reassuring me that I will not be bound. "I am Jedi Master Kuronan, I am a protector of all life, guardian of ancient lore, and hero known throughout the galaxy for bringing peace throughout. I know you have fallen my child, but there is yet hope. Join with me, and we will protect everyone, including our child." A small crimson Twi'lek child comes forward with a training saber against his back. He smiles in a way that warms my heart, and Vette comes out from behind the Jedi Master, also warm and sincere.

 

I turn back to the Dark Side, though both know I am not making any decisions yet. A human child comes forth, and I can feel his power and passion. Beside the Darth is now a cloaked woman who emits power and passion, she is everything a Sith should be, and her smile brings out a certain brooding feeling in me, yet also brings out a sweet temptation... She speaks to me. "Surely you don't want to live as a pacifist monk when you could have the universe at your fingertips? The power to control, dominate, and destroy anything you wish?" She pushes herself against the Darth who already has his hand around her waist, and kiss passionately, not caring if I am watching or not. Part of me is disgusted by the sheer lack of care, but another part is turned on by the aspect of having a love and not caring who knows it.

 

Suddenly a third voice comes forth, it speaks below me. I look down and notice I'm balancing on a very thin wedge. it speaks with knowledge and power. "You are not forced to be one or the other, you have a future beyond both if you stay true to yourself." A door opens about ten feet away on the wedge. "There is both Light and Dark sides of the Force. If you learn how to balance them, you can master both. Seek out the Revanites, they will show you how." This voice disgusts both sides, who continue to beckon me to their side. The wedge serves as an impenetrable wall. If I jumped to either side the other would be locked away forever. I try to keep my balance on the wedge. The neutral voice speaks to me and overpowers the other two. "If you aren't ready to choose who you are yet, step through the door. Do not force yourself to choose so soon." I follow the voice. After I focus, the wedge becomes much wider. It widens to three feet in width, so I don't slip. I walk to the door and calmly open it, then step inside, or should I say outside? I'm not sure...

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As I wake, my head is throbbing pretty badly, I try to get up but a light hand on my chest stops me. It takes me a few moments to get my bearings, but the joking voice really helps.

"Woah there, take it easy. I can't imagine you walking about and kicking so quickly."

"Where am I Vette?"

"Dromund Kaas, a medical facility on the orbital platform. Even if the Capital City has better medical droids and better doctors, it's not a good idea to move a patient around too much." I smile lightly, trying to get up but her hand keeps me down. "Your persistent aren't you? You should probably stay here for another day of rest before you go walking about." I grab my head and shake it a bit.

"You're probably right. I feel kind of drained anyway... Thanks Vette."

"You are the one that got Rose to take the collar off, this is the least I can do." I lie back down. I half faint and half fall asleep.

 

I go back to the place I was before. This time the center of both fires have a heart in them. The blue fire has a heart with a golden aura, if I weren't here I'd chuckle at the euphemism 'A heart of gold.' On the other side is a normal heart surrounded by the flames, which burn even more intensely then before. Before the two appear, I notice the light side is starting to even the score a little. It's not fully evened out, but they light side is starting to gain some territory. The wedge is still just as thick as before, enough I don't worry about slipping unintentionally. The Light Side speaks first.

"You believe the Jedi are wrong in that they do not feel emotion. This is only partly true. Jedi close themselves off to passion if their relationship gets self absorbed and selfish. they believe such passion is exactly what leads to the Dark Side. While this is true, it is not always correct. Let me show you something... Come closer to the edge so I may share my wisdom with you." I get closer to the edge, careful I'm far enough that I don't slip. The brighter side of me puts his hand to my forehead. "Relax yourself, I promise I won't deceive or harm you." As I close my eyes I see what it intends me to see.

 

I see a man and a woman, both human. I can only tell shapes, not major details, but as I am seeing, they care about each other. They fight together and live on the same ship. I feel the bond between them, and it is everything the Sith despise. It is attachment, but restraint. It is love and care, along with patience and understanding. Neither side wants to go any faster then the other. It is everything I have heard of the fantasies of true love. It is beautiful. I suddenly see generations pass by and... By the force! I immediately separate myself from the light, but the image is burned into my mind. She was born of that? And yet she does not rebel against the ideal to banish what created her?

"You will come to understand this with time my child. The Jedi do not always follow their own rules. When you are ready, I will show you more examples." The door opens out, but the Dark Side implores me to stay. I go to it, and it speaks in that dark tone I almost fear it for.

 

"The Light would have you believe that such things are easy to accept in the Jedi Order, maybe even accepted when they are pure enough. I will show you the truth." He puts his hand on my forehead as before. I see children ripped from their mothers arms. I see lovers separated over debates and rumors. I take myself away from the Darkness. He smirks. "Now you know the truth the Light would keep from you. Until next time." The door now glows and cracks open. I got to it and once again exit the trance.

 

Again I wake with that same gentle hand on mine. This time I am in a different room. "We're in the Capital now." I look lightly to Vette and smile, I'm glad she's here with me.

"You do realize you don't have a shock collar anymore. You could run away when I fall asleep."

"Why would I? It's not like you're hurting me in any way, are you?" I shake my head furiously, I would never hurt such a delicate and beautiful flower as her, she smiles.

"Well that's good news, because I'm not sure where I'd go if you did plan on it. Anyway, the doctors here said you've had plenty of rest. We should get something to eat and be on our way." I nod, my stomach rumbles audibly and I laugh, how long has it been since I've had anything to eat?

 

After a surprisingly well prepared breakfast (when was the last time a hospital treated me well, much less any place with real food?) me and Vette leave, we quickly find a map of Kaas City. I pull out a map of the world I was given on the way out.

"Our first priority should be finding the Sith Academy on Dromund Kaas, and more importantly, making sure Zash knows I'm still alive." I say this out loud, but in my head I hear the call to the wilds, to some place in the southwest... I ignore it for now.

 

After a short shuttle ride and a short walk, we find Zash's chambers. "Ah, Apprentice, I was wondering when you'd arrive. Where is your Dashade, and who is this, if I may ask?"

"Khem Val tried to kill me, this woman helped me kill him. Vette, meet Zash. Zash, Vette."

"A pleasure."

"Charmed to meet you. Now, onto more important matters. I heard a rumor that you killed Rose, apprentice to Darth Baras. There's no clear evidence linking you to the death of Rose, but be careful who you attack. If there was any solid evidence, we'd both be in serious trouble. Darth Baras is a Darth, so remember not to annoy him anymore then you have." I nod appropriately, I'm surprised Zash isn't convinced. I heard a few apprentices mention an explosion on the way here that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Rose.

"For now I'm planning on some... hidden events... still trying to piece together how it's going to work out. In the mean time, Darth Charnus wishes to speak with you, he's heard of you... destructive powers and wishes you to use them against an enemy of the Empire. Of course, he's asking you to meet an apprentice for this." I nod and turn around, somehow I know where I'm going...

Edited by Kuronan
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As I walk up to him, he is unsuspectible under normal conditions, but I sense his goals. he sees me and we both know we are here. Even though I know he feels nothing, I feel our auras attack each other. He wants to destroy the Revanites, I seek-no, MUST-learn from them. To him, they are an enemy of the Empire. To me, they are Salvation.

 

"So you are the apprentice of Darth Zash? The acolytes and apprentices are abuzz with many rumors about you ever since your victory on the now destroyed Esseles. Some of them even claim you are the Emperor in disguise." I laugh very audibly, I could understand if they call me a lord, maybe even a Darth, but the Emperor? "Quiet down, do you want everyone staring?" I laugh for a few more seconds, then gather myself together.

"I'm sorry, but it's just... the Emperor? Few have met him and lived to brag about it. There's no way I could ever gain that much power, it's just not possible for someone lacking immortality." He nods, I know he's probably thinking about it but I couldn't care less. He gives me a token.

"Take this token to a secret compound in the jungle, I will mark it on your map. take this token to the cultist at the entrance, he will initiate you. Earn their trust and learn of their leader's true identity. Do this and you will be rewarded." I go along with his delusions that I will do as he asks of me. Before I leave Kaas City, I ask Vette to stay behind.

"What, are you crazy? I'm not leaving you behind."

"Vette, this is something I have to do on my own, I don't know why, but I can't do this with you here..." She sighs and puts her hands on her waist. I regret leaving her here, but somehow I can't do this with her, somehow I must do this alone.

 

After quite some time and culling of wild life I arrive. I go forward to the leader, and give him the token before any questions are asked. "Ah, someone must have had great faith in you to send you our way. Welcome to the Order of Revan initiate, Welcome to your new life."

"I have heard that name before. It was in a vision, between the Light and Dark. But I know little of him..."

"You had a vision? Could you elaborate?"

 

I tell him everything, starting from the Black Talon all the way to now, slightly altering Rose's cause of death, omitting Khem Val, and not telling him the Dark Side is the stronger of the two, though somehow he already knows and feels it. He ponders all of it for a few moments before he speaks again.

"You have come a long way, I can feel it. If you truthfully feel you must learn among us I will not stop you, In fact I encourage you to do just that." I nod, I have every intention of learning about Revan and the balance between the two sides of the Force. This is my Salvation, I will stop at nothing to master it. "Around you will find your new teachers, people who dedicated their lives to recovering lessons and works of Darth Revan. Speak to them, the Master will give you your final lessons." I bow my head in respect and walk around, the others turn only to see that another wishes to join them. I walk to an elderly man who I feel has my first trial.

 

"Come closer, You are here because of the Order of Revan, but tell me something-Are you ready to die for us?" I look at him like he's a complete lunatic.

"I don't plan on dieing anytime soon, thanks."

"All initiates must face a trial of death. Death freed Revan, left him unbound of all oaths. Will Death free you?"

"Weren't you listening? I'm not dieing, period." The man frowns.

"All initiates must go through the rite. There is a path before us, it leads to a cave, a cave dedicated to Darth Revan. Enter the cave and meditate. Return when you are finished with your trial." I sigh, he's really not giving me any options, then so be it. I'll do his trial and come back alive, kill whatever it is that kills the other apprentices and bring it's heart back as proof or something...

 

As I exit the camp two vine cats attack, I brandish my saber and charge. They both try to claw at me but I duck and spin my light saber between them. It cuts through them like a hot knife through cold butter as their intestines spill out of the new holes I left where their stomachs were. I continue along the path, killing as many creatures and robots as possible. After what feels like twenty minutes I have cleared the path and enter the cave. The creatures are little match for my force lightning and light saber. After I make sure there is absolutely nothing here I go up to the altar. I see a robed and masked statue glare down upon me. I meditate, and after a few moments I hear lightning and fire. I get up and turn around to see the personification of the statue walk towards me. I ready myself for an attack but suddenly the statue's obelisks hit me with a massive charge of Force Lightning. I fall...

 

Again I am brought forth to the Divide, as I am beginning to call it. But the Light and Dark forms aren't there, instead I see the cloaked individual, but no, it's not the one I saw before. This one is taller, and it shoots out both arms. I grab my gut as something alters inside me. The battle between light and dark resets entirely, both on the exact same footing. The voice from before speaks, is this Revan, or simply my mental image of him?

 

"You wish to walk my path? Then so be it. You will start anew. From here on out your decisions will carry far more weight. if you follow the Dark Side..." He points with his right arm to the dark fire. "Then your abilities will reflect that. The same applies to if you turn to the Light." he points with his left arm towards the golden heart. "If you balance them both, then you will learn to take from both sides of the Force. We will meet again, but for now, return from once you came." He walks off, and the door opens behind him. The path thins out so there is no way to avoid the door and follow him. I have no choice but to return to reality.

 

I slowly get up from a mattress in the camp, it appears I am unscathed from this. Part of me wants to go back to the cave, to speak with Him again, but I don't want to test my luck. I decide to return to the Elder. As I walk up to him, he smiles.

"You return. Dripping with the blood of the womb you are reborn. Your old life, everything you were is now dead inside that cave."

"I don't understand, what was that?"

"That was the shrine of Revan. Tell me how it feels, all of your old obligations have vanished, your past no longer burdens you, how does it feel to see the world reborn?"

"I feel like... I don't know, there aren't words to truthfully describe how free I feel now..."

"I am glad you have chosen to begin your new life as a Revanite, choosing your allegiance to us first of all. Go now, and may the Force make you strong."

 

I walk around for a bit before I see a Sith Pureblood, I walk up to her and she knows why.

"Come forward, speak to me, we are all students of Darth Revan. And I enjoy the company of initiates. I remember when I was once like you, I remember my trials and killing in the master's name. You are so fortunate. I am Ladra, once the personal assassin of a Sith Lord, I am now the serene protector of the Master and his students, and also help guide initiates through their trials."

"Your wisdom must be great Ladra, will you share it?"

"Of course I will, that is how I honor the master. Every initiate must go through a trial of the past, a rite to bind the initiate to Revan. Your trial will be very special. You will retrieve the mask of Darth Revan, what he wore after becoming a Sith. It is a great artifact, long lost to us."

"I am honored you would trust me with such an important task, I will not betray your trust."

"The mask is held by my former master, a Sith Lord known as Darth Grathan. The mask is at his estate, a speeder will get you there." I nod and find the speeder droid quickly.

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I pay my credits and hop on the speeder to the giant wall separating Lord Grathan's estate from everything else. After what feels like ten minutes, only to realize this isn't where I wanted to go. I pay the bot that's there for a speeder to Kaas City.

 

After what feels like an hour when it really couldn't have been much more then twenty minutes, I arrive near Kaas City. I notice that it's far more packed then before, I check the time and realize why, it's shortly before work hours now. Great, now I have to push my way through... or so I think. When I actually try to get through at first people are resistant, after I get uncomfortable I yell out, no response, so I shoot lightning out into the sky, suddenly people give me a three foot bubble of space.

 

I head straight to the cantina, the music is completely boring and not appropriate for a bar, at least in my opinion, then again, I'm a rowdy one. I liked it when nobles got theirs, or when a debate suddenly became a closed fist and then a brawl. I step towards the bar and notice a bounty hunter, she is likely in her mid twenties. She acts like she's the focus of every man's attention, and she is. It's kind of hard not to notice how her armor bulks out and yet looks thin, or how the blaster on her side has a kiss painted on the barrel. She looks at me as I look to her, both of us are facing the bar but looking at each other.

"So why is a young Twi'lek in a bar like this? You don't look like you belong here." She brings a glass of wine to her reddish-pink lips, drinks lightly, slams the drink down and sighs.

"I'm here looking for my love." she laughs quite audibly, some men at tables turn around. They almost whistle but they realize she's not just any kind of woman and turn back around to their prospective dates or friends.

"If your looking for love on Dromund Kaas you may want to question your lot in life. You should enjoy your freedom, not spend it around plotting citizens. Then again..." She turns to me and smiles. I can faintly smell the wine she's been drinking, and think of a very large man, a woman crying out for her child. I shudder at the memory, and she hugs me close. "Feeling cold? Maybe I can help you with that." I realize she's probably been drinking for a while. Most of the men glare at me and wish they were in my position. If she wasn't wearing armor I swear I'd be motorboating her. Oddly as she talks she sounds completely sober, maybe she's doing this entirely of her own free will?

"I didn't mean like that... I have someone..." I look to the door and notice Vette. Happily for me my hands are are raised up in a sort of surrender but more of a back off kind of way, there's no way I'd be caught in a compromising position. I learned how to passively resist as a slave and I will NOT be caught doing something I don't intend to do. She walks up to me and slaps me. The bounty hunter lets go and puts her hands on her hips. I expect her to either tell Vette to get lost or start something, what she says next takes me by complete surprise and shock.

"What, can't handle a little competition Twi'lek?"

 

Only the bartender is not watching this unfold. Dates have been put on hold and in the back I can see men taking bets on what happens next and who'll win the fight. Vette scoffs.

"Is the the kind of guy you are?"

"No, it's nothing like that Vette."

"What the hell kind of name is Vette?" Although that was meant to be an insult, it does make me ponder...

"It's the name I chose. I don't care who your with, just leave me out of it." She turns so hard that if she was a foot closer she'd have slapped me with her lekku. As she leaves I call out to her... "Vette! It's not like that!" The bounty hunter obviously takes advantage as Vette walks out, again near motorboating me.

"Come on, surely you can do better then that. I'm standing right here, what are you waiting for?" If ever I heard an invitation there it was, but I'm not that kind of guy, I kindly ask her to stop. "Never met a guy that said no, what does she have that I don't?" Modesty, for one. "Is it because I'm not a Twi'lek?" That's part of it, but I honestly do like Vette. "It's because I'm a bounty hunter, isn't it?" That has nothing to do with anything.

"It's because I'm not interested." Most of the men give me glares of death. I lightly put my hand on her stomach and push her away using the Force, everyone shuts up if they were talking before.

"So your a Sith? What, you'll only date Purebloods?" I am getting impatient with this and cross my arms.

"No, I'm the 'Until death do us part' kind of guy, I can tell you aren't." and I leave on that note, she doesn't stop me.

 

As I push my way through the crowds I notice her. "Vette!" This time she turns but doesn't leave, she's somewhat annoyed even though we aren't dating or anything.

"I can't believe you are that sort of man. I thought you weren't-" I stop her.

"I am NOT that sort of man Vette. I have no idea why you care, considering we aren't dating or anything, but I'm not like that."

"Then tell me what I saw."

"You saw a bounty hunter nearly motorboating me-"

"That's what I thought."

"BUT what was actually happening is either she was drunk or in the mood, did it look like I was pulling her closer or feeling her out?" She gives me that one. I take her hand even though we aren't dating.

"Vette, I'm not like that. If something like that did happen I couldn't bear to just walk out. That's not the kind of man I was raised to be and it's not who I am." she looks up at me and smiles.

"Good, I didn't think you were. So why did you need me to stay away from the cult or whatever?"

"Because I got this feeling that if I brought you I would regret it. During one of the tests I nearly died because of those bastards. Now I feel the worst is over and we can stick together now." she smiles which only makes me happy. We make our way past the crowds and back to the shuttle bot outside. This time I know where I am headed.

Edited by Kuronan
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(( I'd appreciate it if people left some comments, even just saying Hi, I feel like I'm typing this out to no one... Listening to Dan Bull as I'm typing this >=) ))

 

As we got there I wondered how we're going to work this out...

"So how exactly are we both going to fit onto one speeder?" She looks at me as though she hadn't thought of that.

"Don't we just buy separate speeders?"

"I really doubt that the bot understands you are my slave... I mean, you aren't, but... what I meant is..." I'm stumbling and Vette just starts laughing as I'm trying to figure out how this is... I mean, legally she's my slave... In actual practice she's free as any natural born human. I stop, and she stops laughing after a minute.

"Okay 'master', how about I just hug you on the way there? You just hold onto the speeder." I blush, few times in my life has any woman aside from my mother touched me for any reason, much less someone amazing like Vette, after a few seconds I nod and we get to the bot, who gives us a speeder to the Wall. As we go on there, I feel Vette against my back. She's warm, and the hug makes me want to turn around and wrap my own arms around her, but I can't. I close my eyes and enjoy the ride.

 

It only feels like a few seconds before we arrive at our destination. I don't feel good getting off because I was so comfortable like that... I wonder how Vette felt...

"Well, we're here." She lets go and gets off, as do I. "Well, whenever you're ready lead the way." I nod to her and we begin our very short journey.

It's only a few meters before a soldier calls out to us, we go over to her.

"Hold still, scanning you now..." I look at the droid and am tempted to overload it just for a laugh as it scans me and beeps. "You check out. Sorry my lord, we're looking for anyone who's with Lord Grathan. I'm Captain Sarnova, here to make keep the situation under control."

"From what I've heard you're doing a very poor job of it... Whatever, get me a squad and I'll come back requesting an army to clean up after me."

"It won't be so easy to storm Lord Grathan's estate, but if you're going in there anyway, perhaps you could help us... some of my men-practically my kids-were captured by Grathan, if you could bring them back that'd be greatly appreciated."

"If you asked any other Sith that, they would laugh in your face. They were weak enough to get captured-" She angrily and fiercely interrupts me.

"But these are pe-" I interrupt her now.

"BUT I'm not an ordinary Sith, and I'm heading in anyway, I'll do everything I can to bring your men home, I promise." She calms and composes herself a bit.

"Thank you... You have security clearance to go in."

 

As Vette and I walk past the soldiers in cover we encounter five men at the door. I shake my head, this is a waste of my time... I shoot out both arms, hitting both of the out-most guards with force lightning. Vette throws a grenade at the middle guard and they all go down in a few seconds. The guards offer little resistance inside, I was quite loud but the guards went scrambling in fear as soon as they learned it was an actual Sith, one with real power. All I did was electrocute anyone that tried to fight me, and they screamed as a warning to others.

As I fought my way through I let scientists run if they didn't fight. I made sure to explore all of the buildings. Wasn't long before I found some labs with some imperial soldiers. Some had opened chests with only bones inside, some had their brains removed, some even had all organs removed, and all didn't have anesthesia, I can see the suffering on their frozen dead stares. I take their dog tags and hold them to my heart, hoping they find peace in the afterlife. I begin fighting with a renewed conviction, killing everyone, scientist, fighter, or runner. A few got into my face and I showed them that my acolyte robes didn't restrict mobility despite the dress. One of them got his head removed, another was ripped apart when I span my lightsaber. The third to get close I knocked back and then threw my lightsaber, cutting him in half, somehow that one was entertaining as both halves of dead guard fell. The fourth to get close was shocked so far he literally exploded in front of me, although Vette was disgusted I kept marching forward, intent on making these bastards pay for the horrors I saw.

 

I was an absolute force of retribution. They locked the front door in front of me, and all I did was continue to march forward as I shocked it until it exploded in front of me. They started gathering, I could feel it. Rather then walk around the corner into a kill zone, I concentrate on all of their lives through the wall and rip their life force right from their bodies and absorb it all into me. I walk to the elevator and me and Vette go back down, nothing stands in my way. As we descend I sense them ready.

"Vette, when we get down, run to cover." She nods. As the elevator comes down they aim and we quickly roll into cover. She pulls out her blasters and I call on the force to protect me. I feel it protects me as I charge in and become a literal storm of force power and my lightsaber. If they don't meet my blade they meet the walls behind them more personally. Some of them become barbequed in the force lightning I release. I can only do this for about ten seconds before I hit the floor like a heavy brick of durasteel, but everyone in the room save Vette died. She runs up to me as I black out.

 

Again I am in the Divide, the Light and Dark look upon me. The Light explains.

"You overexerted your power, as always. You are so intent on becoming powerful you don't even realize your limits... You need to restrain your use or else you'll continue to strain your own connection to the Force." The Dark shakes it's head.

"Normally I hate the Light but I have to agree on this, you need to limit your use until you can handle it. You are barely an apprentice, only when you are a Darth will you be able to exert such power without falling unconscious." I look to them both.

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do then?" Dark looks at me.

"Maybe not become so insanely obvious? You do have Force Shroud, use it." Light speaks.

"Normally I do not agree with such dishonorable acts but it can save lives and yes, reduce the amount of force you exert." I look to them, both annoyed that I come here nearly every time I fall asleep and horrible that in this state I can't protect Vette... She calls out to me, but it's low... I focus...

"Come on... wake up... wake up!" I see the door open in front of me and run into it like if it could vanish at any second.

 

As I wake, I see Vette above me. "Good to see you aren't dead." I smile.

"Waking up to the sound of your voice and your beautiful face will never get old..."

"The flirt, as always..." I chuckle, she doesn't realize I'm serious, but she'll learn with time.

We look around and, after some time, we find the mask. Vette stays back as I walk up to the mask and disable all of the traps, which there are only two. As I take it I can feel the dark side of it... I bring it to my face. It lacks a shroud to keep it in place, but the dark side in it is literally tangible, and it feels amazing somehow. But it also unnerves me. Not the Dark, that feels amazing, liberating even. The Dark Side itself is what scares me, the feeling of having no freedom to make my own decisions and letting my emotions absolutely dominate who I am. I take it off quickly as I hear a slow clap behind us. I turn around, Vette is knocked down, probably unconscious, someone else stands nearby, clapping.

"I saw your little performance on the way in. Truthfully beautiful. If you weren't playing attention to yourself, it was a dance of pure death and destruction. It was a beautiful spectacle to behold, even if you did kill at least twenty of my guards. But I'm afraid I can't let you leave, ever again." He brandishes a lightsaber and charges, I decide to draw my own and leave this to pure physical combat. Our blows must have met at least twelve times before I realized I'm horrible at physical combat, but I really didn't care less as I deflected his next blow and used the other blade to turn my deflection into a slash. It was enough to throw him off balance long enough to chain it into an actual combination of attacks that were enough to kill him. I woke up Vette.

"Funny, you said it was refreshing to wake up to my face and now I'm the one waking up to you... I'm not sure I see the appeal..."

"That's because you are beautiful, I'm probably decent."

"Now don't say that... you are kind of cute..." I help her get up and we leave with Revan's mask.

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(( My own tempo is starting to slow down on this series, partly because I don't like the actual building up process, for now I'll skip the steps, then come back later. I'll indicate it when I'm going back to the before story. ))

 

I hear the door open as I finish the holocron's recording. I put it away as I hear my apprentice come inside. Cute thing I picked up on Belsavis, she looked almost exactly like I did back when I was an acolyte, save the Sith Corruption turning her skin a cute pink.

"Master, we'll be arriving soon, the Force-Sensitive might not be easy to track." I push away from the desk. My collection of holocrons are neatly stacked inside. They easily depict every detail of note in my past, including the disappearance of Vette-Force rest her young soul...

"If she was easy to find and willing to come, we wouldn't BE here, now would we apprentice?" I shoot out my left hand and pull my lightsaber into it. It's hard to believe that I still have this from my training as an Acolyte. My own apprentice carries my forebear's legacy, the double-lightsaber of Lord Kallig. We conceal our lightsabers and make our way out, but before I even make it out the door she brushes her arm against my side, I smile.

"Apprentice... We have to attend to our duties..." I say jokingly and playfully even as I turn to her and pull her to me, her crimson eyes beg me to set aside business for pleasure.

"You've been in here for at least two days looking over your holocrons, you haven't even left to eat. I've been holding myself back for at least a week before..." I answer her pleas as I pull her even closer, she tastes of sweet cinnamon. As our tongues meet she pulls me into my room one again. I pull back long enough to hit a few keys on the console to shut and lock the door, even though we both know the robot wouldn't disturb us anyway. She smiles brightly as I discard my robes to reveal the sickly white body she so very much admires.

 

After we have our fun I unlock the door and we leave the ship, the neon lights of Nar Shadda greet me as we both get off. I used to think the Neon Lighting was beautiful before I really learned of the underbelly of this disgusting planet. Now it sickens me, neon is now a color array I symbolize as worse then even the cruelest of slave overseers, as even worse then the bone-cutting chills of Hoth or the blazing heat of Tatooine. I spit on the ground, then proceed to the shuttles. Our mission is two-fold: bring down a prostitution ring that we've located, and save a force sensitive that has been sensed from any Jedi or Sith that have arrived to claim her. As we move to the shuttles some gang trash walk up and talk down to me as though I were not a Darth. I force choke one as Tallisa dispatches two of his lieutenants with force lightning. The others quickly realize they are no match and run. Tallisa thinks it's no big deal but I do. I don't say anything about it though. As we reach the shuttle-bot it at first denies the destination. I say my name and it still denies me, despite my direct permission from certain parties to have unlimited access to the shuttles. I shock the bot and after a few seconds I stop. It realizes I'm not kidding and sends me and my apprentice on a shuttle to our undisclosed location... On the way another shuttle follows us. I throw my apprentice a grenade and tell her to kill them with it. She smiles as she throws it, then directs it right onto the fuel tank. I look in the rear view mirror as the tailers are consumed in a fireball and try to jump off to safety, only to realize "safe" is about 200 feet down. When we arrive I glare at the neon lights calling this place "The Spacer's Rest". I immediately shoot both arms out and overload the sign. The neon lights explode in a colorful display of fire and glass shrapnel. I walk into the place without invitation.

 

The first thing everyone thinks as they turn to me and my apprentice is that this place is being visited by a Dark Lord of the Sith who wants more then just his apprentice. Some of the Twi'lek dancers take notice and try to hide behind the thin poles they were just moments ago dancing upon. One particularly large and green Twi'lek waves me over.

"I want to speak to the owner of this... establishment." the large Twi'lek waves me over again. I walk up to him.

"Name's Rex, I see you have a girl already, a few might not be willing but plenty don't mind..." I begin force choking him flat out in full view of everyone, including the guards. My apprentice quickly throws them into the air as I choke the life out of the owner, who so dares to treat his own people like animals. I close my fist as the last bits of life flow out from him. One guy near a dark blue Twi'lek dancer brandishes a rifle but I electrocute him before he can aim. My apprentice keeps the guards in air as I step forward and address the scared masses.

"This is what I do to anyone who dares to run such an establishment, where women are treated like animals. I will wait one minute before I start electrocuting all of the men in here that aren't wearing shock collars." I reach into my robes and brandish Damnation, my force-electric double-lightsaber. The men run like their lives depend on it, because their lives DO depend on it. I dispatch two of the guards at range by controlling my lightsaber with the Force. Tallisa kills the rest of the guards with relative ease, considering they were already floating in mid air anyway. I look around at all the women. Some are wearing rags you could barely call clothes and some are in slave bikinis, all wearing shock collars. I wave them over and they comply without complaint, most scared I'll kill them. I look at each and every one of them before I find a young human girl. She's no older then her teens and wearing soiled rags. She is the Force-Sensitive that called me here.

"It is against everything I stand for if I let any of you stay here for any reason." I proclaim as I motion for Tallisa to help me remove the shock collars. All of the slaves stay where they are even after the collar is removed. When we finish, I look at all. Most of them are Twi'lek, the rest are also humanoid races... Rattataki, Zabrak, Human, I even see a Pureblood and a Mirialan. I get them to follow me after force persuading them, the Human needed a bit more effort... I herded them onto shuttles, brought them to my ship, and one by one, dropped them off on new worlds with suitable credits to start new lives. All but the force sensitive human.

Edited by Kuronan
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As we dropped off the last slave and the ship doors close, my apprentice comes up to me and asks what I've been wondering this whole time. "Are we sending her to Korriban or not?" I look her in the eye.

"I have no idea anymore. This child is probably mentally traumatized from growing up around this, I'm not sure she could survive Korriban without at least some mental attention." My apprentice opens her cute pink lips to interrupt me, but I put my right pointer on them. "We drop her off on Dromund Kaas, where they will tell us what they think." She doesn't argue, she knows a licensed doctor would know better then her. We set course for Dromund Kaas. The child walked up to me before I even left the cockpit to the autopilot system.

"What's going to happen to me?" She said, her body's malnutrition made her appear to be like a child you would see dragging a teddy bear with her, a child you leave a night light on for. I thought of multiple outcomes of this, If I didn't handle her with care, she could well despise the Sith the rest of her days. "What I'm doing is bringing you to a place called a hospital, where the people will take care of you." She looks at me with eyes begging to reconsider. "I don't like hospitals, they stuck needles in me and they hurt me." I should have thought through that, she was very likely taken to a Nar Shadda clinic, where the only thing that matters is cutting corners and making profits. If the client came back, they could make even more money that way. Such business practices sicken me. "This hospital is different, the people actually care about what they are doing and get punished if they do it wrong." She smiles brightly and nods, believing as much as I would like to believe myself, I really have no idea how good the doctors are anymore because I no longer need them, I haven't needed them ever since I learned the ancient and potent art of Corruption Healing, using the Dark Side to patch up wounds.

 

As I return to my chambers and close the door, I wonder how I came to find my apprentice to begin with... Ever since the duel with the immensely powerful Pureblood Darth Xonic, I've been having problems remembering my own past. I would laugh at the concept if he was not a Sith Sorcerer himself. I go into my desk and find the right holocron, then activate it and meditate into it, so as to relive the memory.

 

(Memory begins here.) As always I wake on my ship, in pain because of yesterday... That forsaken Jedi felt like throwing a very large object at my head, thankfully I lessened the impact by utilizing the static aura of a Sorcerer into a defensive barrier. It helped me retain consciousness enough to shoot out my left arm at his leg and shoot lightning as he deflects it with his lightsaber. All Jedi are that stupid, they focus on one attack so much the one right after slams them with twice the force. I shoot out my right and hit the Jedi so hard with my lightning arc that I hear his jaw snap from twenty yards away... or maybe that was his neck, I did see his head shoot up at a particularly high angle... Either way he was dead, it didn't matter.

I get up and go into my locker nearby. I grab some pain killers, civilian rank because it's not insanely painful, and swallow them. I get my lightsaber by hand because I don't feel like using the Force yet. I exit and ask 2V-R8, a standard model for most small vessels I have learned, where we are docked. He says Belsavis and I crack my neck. First thing that even so much as looks at me in a way I don't like will die here, and no one will care. Normally this applies anywhere, but Belsavis is full of criminals, so in this case I'll be doing someone a favor. I make my way to the ground encampment...

Edited by Kuronan
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