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So, I made a friend! ...yay?


Sunosan

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Ok, about a week ago, I met a nice fellow on Korriban who helped me out with a few heroics. I was grateful he did because, being a complete noob (and idiot) I was finding the entire game a tad overwhelming.

So I found my feet afterwards and got talking to the chap - he is a fine man, doesnt speak a whole lot of english but was perfectly understandable and fun to group with.

 

So whats the problem? I hear y'all ask.

 

 

After he helped me with a few more heroics, he asked me for help - fine, I dont mind, ive already done em but you've done so much for me, i'll help you out!

Somehow me helping him do two heroics ment I should now follow him around healing him why he quests. He hasnt really said that specifically, but he will tell me "Come" and then "Follow me plz" and then proceed to run around doing random quests and collection stuff.

 

I said to him "Dude, I cant follow you around all the time, I need to go and quest over here!"

He replied "Ok, I help you :)" and he did.

 

Still not seeing a problem? Ok, two days ago,m he was waiting for me online (weirdly in front of the exact random place I logged out the night before) and simply invited me to a group and said "Lets quest together! :)"

"Uh... ok but I really need to go to fle-"

"Come, follow!" SHARESHARESHARE a bucket load of new quests on a planet I hadnt even been to yet.

"Do you buy this from me? 20k!" He said linking some purple armor I couldnt wear.

"I cant wear it."

"15k!"

 

I said no and he went through an entire list of purple and blue items until he finally said, again "Follow!" I followed him around again, doing various quests but really I wanted to get away and do my own thing. I said to him "Ok, lets split up. I need to go do this and you can keep questing :)"

He replied "Ok, I come help you."

So yesterday, frustrated that he was eating up all my time again, I faked a connection death and did some work around the house. Im still ashamed of it, I left him hanging, but for the past week, everyday ive come on with limited time to play has been eaten up following him around!

 

Three hours when I came back online, guess who was stood exactly infront of me! Thats right! THREE HOURS! He'd waited for me for THREE HOURS and said "Hi, come! :)"

 

What can I do? He wont go away! ...I started playing an alt, but I really want to play my main character - I thought "I'll just play it a few days until he logs off, he'll move on then." But he hasnt. I went to where I last logged out with my main and he is standing there, waiting for me!

 

I really dont want to put him on ignore - he is a nice guy afterall, he doesnt talk that much and he did help me all those times. I just dont want to spend every second of my playtime with him.

Ive told him this and he said "Ok, I follow you." I made excuses to split up and he says "Ok, I come help you!"

 

ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!

 

So I need advice; What do I do? Apart from making an alt with the same character and starting again, I cant see a way out of this. You guys got any advice to help?

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The way I see it you have limited choices.

 

 

a.) Keep playing your alt and hope he out levels/ forgets about you.

 

b.) Try to explain the situation to him. Not easy if he doesn't speak English well.

 

c.) Ignore him.

 

d.) Run for the hills. Cause someone standing in the same spot after 3 hours is mondo creepy.

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easy answer and I have ran across this exact problem before with this and other games. Kindly explain that you would like to quest alone for the time being or that you need to do some other things that really don't require his assistance. If he does not understand or just does not listen, use this command while having him targeted...

 

/ignore

 

Problem solved.

 

Either that or you have your own personal pocket dps, make the team with him, set loot so you are the only person to get the loot and only do the quests that you need to do. Then when he says to do his quests, just say no and only do yours. In due time hopefully they will take a hint and leave you alone.

Edited by haliy
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let him say "Come...blah blah blah" all he wants...just DON'T hit the accept option for group! and you sound like a decent person yourself, but i would really REALLY consider putting him on ignore for, say, 1 day....then if he wont back down, go for a week...

...he'll get a clue sooner or later (me thinks much MUCH later!)

in this case, /IGNORE isn't being rude, its a tool to save your game experience...

...use it.

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You wouldn't stand for it in the "real world", so why stand for it in the "Virtual"?

 

Take a deep breath and /ignore. Walk away. It's the best thing you can do.

 

This is what I'm afraid of for the OP. Some people are just too nice and have difficulty saying no to others. If it's hard for them to say no to strangers in an online game, I imagine it could be harder for them to do the same in person.

 

To the OP, please understand, if you say no to this guy and/or /ignore him, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You have already done more than enough to pay him back for helping you out that first time. You don't owe him anything. Please do yourself a favor and start enjoying your own game. :)

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Oh god.. been there done that.

 

I had a "friend" just like yours in another mmo who just wouldn't leave me alone either,

he was online all the damn time, and instantly pm'ed whenever I came online on any of my characters he knew about.

 

I ended up getting bored of the game and took a 6 month break, returned, guess who messaged me the second I came online? That's right.. an alt of his I had never heard of before.. he had apparently been religiously adding every one of my characters to his friends list on every alt, for half a year!

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nether try to explain to him you lack time to play and want to focus on your own char, no time left for grouping than for making HC Q:s

or...

as everybody else just said: sorry fella, this way to play is not my cup of thea /ignore

then walk away.

Edited by luciphear
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I think you've got a chinese goldfarmer on your hands.
I think this is true so I would get rid of him by putting him on the ignore list but you can be nice about it though so :csw_vader: Always remember that you pay for this game and dont let anyone make you feel like you are "obligated" to do anything for anyone, this I found out the hard way and basicly drove me away from my other MMO "LOTRO" so again put the guy on the ignore list and you will feel much better ;) Edited by Legolose
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I think this is true so I would get rid of him by putting him on the ignore list but you can be nice about it though so :csw_vader: Always remember that you pay for this game and dont let anyone make you feel like you are "obligated" to do anything for anyone, this I found out the hard way and basicly drove me away from my other MMO "LOTRO" so again put the guy on the ignore list and you will feel much better ;)

 

To be honest, I had been thinking the same. He does seem to have an awfully big amount of blues and purples, some of which are about 10 levels higher than he is.

 

I could be wrong though - he could just be really savvy on the market place?

He's a nice guy - he doesnt cuss, he will follow me around and ask me "Done?" for every quest he helps me with - it's what comes after, the feeling of obligation that "Ok, he did this for me, I better do this for him!" I keep getting.

 

It was fine for the first few days but now im pretty sure I can do all my green and grey quests (im a quest hog) by myself, and dont really need a pocket dps following me around.

Ive tried to tell him "No thanks, I can do it myself" and even suggested "WHy dont you go and do some of your own quests then when we get heroics/area quests we meet up and do them together" but he just says "Ok, I follow you :)"

 

There is a creep factor to it though - ive just logged on with my alt, having placed it across from where my main logged out - and he is standing around there... waiting for me. He cant have been there ALL the time? Right?

 

Oh my god im going to have to ignore him arent I? Just ignore him and run in the opposite direction.

 

Suggestions on how to be friendly and amicable when you ignore somebody - but at the same time, making it clear you want them to go away - would be appreciated.

Thanks for the replies so far guys!

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I honestly doubt a "chinese farmer" will wait somewhere 3 hours for you.

 

If he can wait 3 hours for you while you are offline, it should not be a problem for him to wait for you while you take a trip to the fleet going about your business. I would try to find out where he is from and see if communication can be improved.

 

People from different cultures, well, are sometimes different. Might be totally acceptable behaviour - if not even expected. You find a buddy, share the missions and just go to town.

 

Food for thought, do what you feel comfortable with.

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Hang on ... was that your doorbell??

 

heh heh...

 

Seriously the best thing you can do is /ignore him and don't accept his party invites. You have certianly shown alot of restraint so far. If he insists on following you around then I guess you have a free little helper to take care of those pesky `gold star` mobs...

 

Oh what server are you on btw?

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Hang on ... was that your doorbell??

 

heh heh...

 

Seriously the best thing you can do is /ignore him and don't accept his party invites. You have certianly shown alot of restraint so far. If he insists on following you around then I guess you have a free little helper to take care of those pesky `gold star` mobs...

 

Oh what server are you on btw?

 

Heh, interesting advice.

Im on the RP-PVP server called Lord... something - begins with a P.

 

Anyway, to update on whats going on, last night I logged on and he wasnt online so, the coward I am, I quickly blocked him and let out a sigh of releif before continuing on my merry way.

Only, five minutes later, I got a message from some random person saying "Hi omw! :)" :jawa_redface: - you guessed it, it was his alt.

To avoid an inevitible scene, I took him back off ignore and we grouped up, doing quests, following him around, collecting stuff why I waited, healing him etc.

 

I decided to find out more about him, you guys gave some good advice and assumptions only serve to make an *** out of most people, so I asked him where he is from (Greece, as it turns out - not china) and asked him a couple more questions that he didnt (perhaps he couldnt understand?)

He told me he is 33 though - so I know he's 33, from Greece and likes to smoke - a lot! Every 10 minutes "Smoking brb!"

 

I decided, after an hour of folowing him arund, to be blunt - I said "Ok. I want to play by myself for a while so im leaving the group."

He said "Ok, I come with you :)"

"No. Dont come with me please, I want to do some quests by myself." (me)

"You want my help? Ok :) (him)

"No thank you, I want to solo them!" (Me)

"Ok, you need help you shout! :)" (him) - and off he went.

I sat there, looking at the chat thinking to myself 'No, it cant be THAT easy!' but decided to take my new found freedom to another planet and catch up with some quests there.

 

Fives minutes later "You need help yet?"

"No thanks! :)" I reply.

"Ok, I follow you!"

A minute later, he was standing infront of me, inviting me to a group (I dunno how the heck he found me!)

 

:mad: *RAGE* :mad:

 

My alt is now my main :( Im thinking once he outlevels me he will go away.

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All you can do, is what you've been doing - just politely refuse every offer of help (even if you need help). If he asks you 12 times to group and you say no 11 times and then give in, all it teaches him is that it takes 12 times of asking to get your help. He is not seeing that you actually don't want help / don't want his company.

You may have to stop answering him altogether (in fact I would advise this, but i am aware from your posts that you want to be seen as nice and polite because HE is being polite). You don't have to put him on /ignore if you don't want to.

 

State firmly that you do not want his help. If he continues asking after this, he is actually NOT being nice, despite his innocuous language, he is ignoring your request (which is rude). After you have FIRMLY stated that you do not want help/do not want him to ask you about help then you must ignore future requests. You do not need to cuss or be rude yourself but you DO need to IGNORE WHAT HE IS SAYING. Just do not reply.

Do not reply nicely, do not reply rudely - just DO NOT REPLY AT ALL.

 

Also don't let him dictate which toon you are playing - using my advice should ensure that it doesn't matter which toon you are playing, because you will be ignoring every whisper he sends.

 

Best of luck :)

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  1. Explain politely that you don't want to play with him
  2. Explain again
  3. Explain again, now more rudely
  4. /ignore him
  5. /ignore any of his alts
  6. Log in during the night and go to Tatooine and hide in the middle of the desert
  7. Go to your starship where you're safe
  8. And seriously, report him for harrassment

 

Here's a list of steps you can follow. (btw i just came up with them, so they may not work ;))

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Piece of advice.... whilst it apparently goes against your base nature, in this case forget about 'being polite'... being polite once he turned into creepy stalker boy was what has allowed this situation to detract from your enjoyment of the game.

 

/ignore is your friend USE it... if he turns up with an alt, /ignore that too and go about what you where going to do. If he starts griefing, put a ticket in regarding his behaviour... all of it.

 

Baseline, the guy is a freak, what he is doing is inappropriate.... but by interacting with him AT ALL you are encouraging it.

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