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Blade of Ascendancy

Bird_of_Thunder's Avatar


Bird_of_Thunder
11.25.2012 , 11:38 PM | #1
First real fanfic attempt. Tell me if you guys like it!


Chapter 1: The Standing Threat
Spoiler
Darth Ravvok
Carnage Marauder
<Ebon Hawk, U.S>

MilaniGrey's Avatar


MilaniGrey
11.25.2012 , 11:44 PM | #2
Uhm, tip: separate your dialogue.

Spoiler


Just a random example. It makes conversations easier to read that way.

Also try and break up your paragraphs a bit. Huge walls of text are tiring to read. And your thoughts can be put into italics, to emphasize that the character is thinking something.
The Islingr Legacy
Ebon Hawk Server
"How dreadfully spooky." -- Vesaniae's Darth Nox

irishfino's Avatar


irishfino
11.26.2012 , 12:09 AM | #3
Spoiler

I'll probably die if you group with me, but I'll go out with both lightsabers drawn stabbing someone in the face. Probably you, but it's cool. Forever Shenanigans!!