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So I tried to tell my wife...

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So I tried to tell my wife...

artyewok's Avatar


artyewok
03.15.2012 , 01:45 PM | #131
Not all ladies are like this. I personally couldn't date someone who wouldn't let me play a little - if it was not interfering with, you know, actual relationship stuff.

That being said, as a gamer girl who is also in the market for a lady, yes, not a lot of ladies are into video games BUT... I have, on the flip side, encountered ladies who have ended up with boyfriends who do not understand their gamer needs. I am hoping dearly I end up with either a fellow gamer or someone with some solo hobbies we can do in the same room so as we can converse while gaming or knitting or whatever. Also, everyone needs some alone time.

Timing is everything. Surely, OP, your wife must have some kind of hobby or a favourite TV show that can entertain her for an hour a day.

TerranCom's Avatar


TerranCom
03.15.2012 , 01:55 PM | #132
Quote: Originally Posted by Dakotahorn View Post
Ok, I had to get in on this one. Perspective from a 24 yr old, successful salesman.

My fiancee left me last december (2010) because I did not treat her with respect, and prioritize her over my hobbies. Looking back she had every right to do this and I believe we are both in better relationships currently.

There are two very important keys to successfully have a relationship and mmo coexist IMO: balance, and the ability for both of you to understand this is a hobby.

My current gf of 6 months allows me to bring friends over to her place for a d&d game a run on wednesdays. But we both understand gaming is my hobby. I even used the word 'passionate' when I first started testing the waters by confessing that I enjoy gaming.

However, equally important is balance. I no longer play every night. I understand that that is not healthy for my relationship or fair to my gf. Instead of an hour a night I compact my time on weeknights that both of us know have been set aside. And scheduling is important!!!! Now she is no longer disappointed if she wants to go to dinner and I have a raid planned. We both know Sunday evening is for Football and TOR. BUT, Tuesday evening is date night. Period.

I think the most important thing is not being with someone who wants/expects you to change. Nor should you expect the wonderful person in your life to grab a controller when the next Madden comes out. And guys.... dont expect your woman to respect your game if you give her **** everytime she turns on a decoration show, bride show, or the oscars. Fair is fair. you better plan on watching the Titanic with her if you expect her to play Assassins Creed woth you.

My two cents.
I like your attitude. My husband and I have been married nearly 15 years. He enjoys cars, movies, and anime. I am the gamer of the family. My husband and I both respect each others hobbies and give each other the time to enjoy them. The key is to love and respect someone for who they are, not who you think they should be. I made that mistake in my first marriage and will never go there again (my first was also a bit of a d****).

Damon_Mott's Avatar


Damon_Mott
03.15.2012 , 01:59 PM | #133
Quote: Originally Posted by SteffizleESQ View Post
...that playing 30-60 minutes a day makes me a "casual" player.

Bad idea.
She'll only get worse. Seek marriage counsiling or a divorce before you have any kids. If she cannot respect you and your time, she's a selfish skirt and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
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DarthRamette's Avatar


DarthRamette
03.15.2012 , 03:12 PM | #134
My husband and I both play the game and have no issues with it. My only problem is he does not share his computer enough to let me play more. My computer should be able to play it but has had issues with it from day one. She should let you play some, only an hour a day isn't asking much, now if you were trying to ask for say 10 hours a day she would have a gripe.

Bootzy's Avatar


Bootzy
03.15.2012 , 09:15 PM | #135
Quote: Originally Posted by SteffizleESQ View Post
...that playing 30-60 minutes a day makes me a "casual" player.

Bad idea.

I try to spend 30-60 minutes a day, in a casual Real Life, but sometimes I rush through it and get it all messed up.




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Darnu's Avatar


Darnu
03.15.2012 , 10:58 PM | #136
Quote: Originally Posted by SteffizleESQ View Post
...that playing 30-60 minutes a day makes me a "casual" player.

Bad idea.
So what's the problem? She's unimpressed that you're a "casual" player because she thinks an hour a day is "hardcore" and to find out that you're only a "casual" is upsetting? I can understand that.

Play more and win her respect. If not you'll just be another person trying to fit this mould society is throwing at us that marriage is not about love, respect, trust, fun and living together and building lives together, but instead it's all about how much you'll sacrifice for them, how much you'll give up, what you won't do in case they get upset, who you won't see in case they get upset etc. Personally I could not imagine anything worse (because I've lived this scenario and I know how bad it really is). And whatever you do is up to you. Can't give you anymore advise than that, as it's your life and it's not really my place. But
Quote:
She'll only get worse. Seek marriage counsiling or a divorce before you have any kids. If she cannot respect you and your time, she's a selfish skirt and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Please do not bring children into this and expose them to her, which if she's their mother they will be. Same as for any future relationship you get into that's abusive like this one.

But I agree with her. You should try playing long enough to get something done when you do play. Again, if you're not comfortable with that, maybe ask her to stop pressuring you and changing you into something you don't want to be.

YaQuIrO's Avatar


YaQuIrO
03.15.2012 , 11:27 PM | #137
Quote: Originally Posted by SteffizleESQ View Post
...that playing 30-60 minutes a day makes me a "casual" player.

Bad idea.
not to be a jerk, but with that time your wife should be very happy and greatfull, i also solve it by inviting her to play with me (gf) but she is not into SW universe so she still play other know online game while i play this one.
easy like that, we all end playing same time and meet in bed for pvp bestgame ever

Deadpooled's Avatar


Deadpooled
03.16.2012 , 04:01 AM | #138
been married since '94 and i've been gaming all that time (console/PC/MMO's) and wife has never complained (much....she gets slightly peeved when i play CS or TF2 and 'insult' the majority of players :P) because me playing lets her hog the TV and watch all her CSI's & phone-to-save-this-untalented-idiot program.

we will sit and watch the occassional program together - sons of anarchy atm, but mostly im on the PC, shes on the TV....17 years without a major row (im 43 shes 52)

just a matter of finding a sweet balance between each other and not upsetting that once you have it....

anyway...if she complains just tell her to get in the kitchen and make you a bacon sarnie :P if that gets you in trouble, great, women ignore you then and gives you more time to play without the moaning

Kairyssa_Wylok's Avatar


Kairyssa_Wylok
03.16.2012 , 07:30 AM | #139
30-60 mins? That doesnt even qualify as playing. lol
Hubby and I play evenings together about 2-3 hrs. Plus I play during the day between 6-10hrs and on the weekends.
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