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The Star Wars Lore Comedy Thread!


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*You find yourself in a nightclub on Nar Shaddaa. People of every faction, race, and class are all around. All of a sudden, spotlights shine on a stage, and a Jedi Knight in armor and robes walks onto the stage! You recognize him as Parrius Tremarr, a.k.a Bionamaster, a relatively prominent Knight within the Jedi Order. But what's he doing here? You'll find out. Fanfare starts playing, and you take a seat.*

 

 

Announcer: Hey there, folks, and welcome to the First Galactic Comedy Hour! I'm your host, Baron Deathmark! Now, none of you here know where we are. So, I'll explain. We recently converted our Huttball stadium into a nightclub! Every day, every night, 24/7, EVERYONE here will be able to come up with sufficiently Star Wars-y jokes, puns, or riddles, and post them on this here thread.

 

A few ground rules: This is about lore. Lore pertaining to the popular holo-game SWTOR is fine, although cruel jokes or troll jokes targeted at the game, other players (unless they give consent), or any troll posts in general, will be disregarded. Please remain civil in your comedy, or we will make you deliver the Emperor some distressing news! In-character delivery is good, but not mandatory. Riddles and/or puns (when applicable) should have their answers put in Spoiler boxes, like

this.

Rules subject to change.

 

Now, our first volunteer, Bionamaster, has agreed to lend us some of his puns that I'm sure you'll all love to laugh or groan at! Don't worry, twenty snipers are aiming at him right now, so bad puns will be......PUN-ished! *ba dum tssh*. *All twenty snipers shift their rifles to point at Deathmark, who pales visibly.* Errm, uh, okay. Now, let's start the MAYHEEEEEEM!

 

Bionamaster: Hey there, folks. Pleasure to be here. Without further ado:

 

Q: What's the secret ingredient in Emperor Palpatine's famous Wookiee Cookies?

A:

Flour......UNLIMITED! FLOOOOUUURRRRRRRRR!

 

 

Okay, that's all I've got for now. Feel free to post your own, I'd love to hear them!

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<pulls up a dish of deep-fried Gundark Ears and waits for the show to begin>

Aaaaaany second now, lol. *grabs a Rodian Mayo Sandwich and takes a seat.*

 

 

Anyway, another pun:

 

Q: What did Watcher One say to the bartender?

A:

I'll have one Jawa Juice. Shaken, not stirred.

 

Edited by bionamaster
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I just flew in from Coruscant, and boy are my arms tired!

 

The Galactic Senate is the best legislature that money can buy.

Corruption starts in the streets with the little peddlers.

They bribe an assemblyman, the assemblyman bribes a councilman, the councilman bribes a senator,

and the senator -- it goes all the way up to the Emperor ...

Taxi !

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A dark robed figure moved across the stage, reaching the mic, he surveys the crowd before him from beneath the cloak that dips low enough to shroud his face. No, he surveys the room through the force alone. His chilling presence passes over each individual making many shift in their seats and cough nervously.

 

The mysterious individual seems extremely out of place, until he sweeps back his hood to reveal a young jedi named Jacen Solo. "Gotacha! Bet ya'll thought I was old palps or something! On the topic of sadistic monsters,"

 

What do you call a person who brings a rancor it's dinner?

 

 

The Appetizer!

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