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Spoiler Warning: Imperial Agent Aggerton Warwiggins


bright_ephemera

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Because what this forum needs is even more of my blathering.

 

Behold the tale of Aggerton Warwiggins, brother to our own Warrior Sevasht Warwiggins. Aggerton is an Imperial Agent, because a Force-blind Sith Pureblood is the sneakiest, easiest-to-blend kind of guy imaginable.

 

Just imagine I could actually draw this.

 

 

A cantina on Hutta. Imperial Agent Aggerton Warwiggins activates a secret channel on the holo. Keeper appears, standing at his usual parade rest.

- frame: Aggerton keeps staring. -

Aggerton: So, uh. You're the boss.

Keeper: Yes. I'm so glad that's the intellect that graduated top of his class during training.

- frame: Keeper looks disapproving and slightly angry. -

Keeper: Get used to this face, by the way. You'll be seeing a lot of it.

 

 

Keeper: Your role as secret agent gives you the unique ability to talk in funny voices.

Aggerton: !

Keeper: I expect you not to abuse this.

Aggerton: Utini! pew pew pew Keepuna!

Keeper: Perhaps I should have said, I had a faint desperate hope you would not abuse it.

Aggerton: Roight, yes, guv'ner. This'll be awesome!

 

 

- A small dingy room on Hutta. -

Text overlay: A local contact helps coordinate a cover identity...

Jheeg: Agent = Red Blade. Red Blade = notorious pirate.

Aggerton: Okay, great. Where's the blade?

Jheeg: ??

Aggerton: I'm the Red Blade. Shouldn't I have a red blade?

Jheeg: Aggerton = blade. blade =/= blade

Aggerton: …Are you sure? You better be sure.

Jheeg: blade =/= blade

Aggertion: Hmph. Fine.

 

 

- A small dingy room on Hutta. –

Jheeg: Red Blade = bribe Nem'ro

Aggerton: Wait a minute. I'm making up a huge disguise so I can bribe Nem'ro to join the Empire? Wouldn't it make more sense for an, um, Imperial, to bribe him to join the Empire?

Jheeg: Empire = sneaky?

Aggerton: Jheeg, ten years ago we punched into the Republic's capital city and set everything on fire. "Sneaky" isn't in the mission statement.

Jheeg: Invasion = failed miserably. Intelligence = sucks less?

Aggerton: All right, all right, I'm going.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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---

 

- Nem'ro's throne room. Nem'ro the Hutt looks down at Aggerton and his boxes o' loot. -

Nem'ro: Red Blade. These are my assistants Toth'lazhen and Karrels. They will vaporize you if you misbehave.

Aggerton: Hello to you too?

Nem'ro: Hutt. Deal with it.

Aggerton: Right. So, how about I throw expensive things at you, and in exchange you don't murder me while I'm in town?

- Aggerton points to a hauling droid staggering under the weight of nine or ten bulging bags of credits. -

Nem'ro the Hutt: I like you. You can stay.

 

---

 

- Outside Nem'ro's throne room. -

Text overlay: Aggerton seeks a dupe to sway toward the Empire…

Karrels: So that's Nem'ro. I can help you out with any local questions.

Aggerton: Cool. How do you like your boss?

Karrels: He's all right. I prefer things a little more orderly than he does. Also, to be honest, I kinda prefer working for humans.

Aggerton: I see. Is that actually a target painted on your forehead?

Karrels: Hmm?

Aggerton: Nothing. I'm sure it's just the regular quest marker.

Karrels: THAT'S A SECRET.

Aggerton: So? Nobody's listening.

- frame: Karrels points at a Rattataki lounging in the corner. In her silver eyes there is only madness. -

Aggerton: You have got to be kidding me.

Karrels: Nope. Good luck with that one.

 

---

 

- A guest room in Nem'ro's palace. Aggerton secures the holo line and calls Keeper. -

Keeper: The surveillance equipment in the bags of lucre is working. Nicely done. Now, in case you're really as thick as I sometimes think you are, I'll point out that Karrels Javis is a good candidate for luring to our side.

Aggerton: I don't know what I would do without you.

- Keeper disapproves. -

Aggerton: Actually I do know, I would bumble through life without quests or interesting plot.

Keeper: THAT'S A SECRET.

Aggerton: What the hell? We're on a secure line.

Keeper: You realize you're in a spy story, right? Grow some paranoia or go home.

 

---

 

- The guest room on Hutta. Aggerton faces Keeper's holo image. -

Keeper: Now all we need to do is keep Karrels relevant while we're dragging him into our collective pocket. Oh, and by the way, we have a member of the Dark Council taking interest.

Aggerton: What.

Keeper: Darth Jadus is noted for being bat**** insane, and he's watching you. Good luck with that one. Keeper out.

 

---

 

- A hallway in Nem'ro's palace. The Zabrak Dheno Rey approaches Aggerton. -

Dheno: Hey, Blade! It's me, Dheno! You're looking like an easy mark for extortion.

Aggerton: Huh. I bet you say that to all the boys.

Dheno: Only the ones I can easily expose as a fraud, buddy.

Aggerton: I see. That line work for you often?

Dheno: When the mark is hip-deep in soon-to-be-hostile territory, lying through his teeth about who he is, and very, very anxious to stay under cover? Yeah, yeah it does.

Aggerton: You just described everyone on Hutta. But I'm the only one you're trying to rob.

Dheno: Credits and I'll go away.

Aggerton: Look. This is nothing personal, but I just got yelled at by my boss for failing to be sneaky-spy enough. So yadda yadda, you know too much, et cetera…

- frame: Aggerton quick-draws and shoots Dheno Rey. -

- frame: Aggerton, looking down at Dheno's body, holsters his blaster. -

Aggerton: Spy movies are kind of depressing, if you really think about it.

 

---

Edited by bright_ephemera
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  • 4 months later...

Whew...a bit of a hiatus there, but here, have some new stuff:

 

- A small holo room in Nem'ro's palace. Aggerton faces the grim image of Keeper. -

Keeper: I have good news.

Aggerton: It appears to be the kind that doesn't make you smile.

Keeper: I never smile.

Keeper: You have definitely attracted a fan.

Aggerton: But I'm secret. I shouldn't have fans.

Keeper: Yes, that was your first mistake.

Keeper: I have bad news. The fan is Darth Jadus of the Dark Council.

- frame: Keeper does his usual disapproving and slightly angry face at Aggerton. -

- frame -

Keeper: Good luck with that.

 

 

- A hallway in Nem'ro's palace. Aggerton approaches Karrels Javis. -

Karrels: Welcome back! Look, I'm in a hurry, I've only got five minutes before I have to meet with some alien freaks.

Aggerton: …

- frame: Aggerton the Sith Pureblood stares. -

Aggerton: Did you really just say that?

Karrels: Whatever. You don't count. So I've been thinking, Blade. The Empire does good business?

Aggerton: Believe me when I say that I get both money and shiny objects from them all the time.

- frame: Karrels Javis looks thoughtful. -

Aggerton: Oh. And while we're on the subject, when galactic war comes the Empire's going to crush everyone in their path. Just keep that in mind, yeah?

 

 

- A hallway in Nem'ro's palace. Kaliyo is standing in Aggerton's way. -

Kaliyo: Slow down, Blade. Stay with me awhile – we haven't had the chance to talk.

Aggerton: I haven't wanted the chance to talk, crazy lady.

Kaliyo: I'm a little disappointed you haven't done anything fun in your stay here. You're a well-known pirate. I might enjoy keeping an eye on a bloodthirsty, treacherous pirate.

- frame: Aggerton looks slightly alarmed. -

- frame: Aggerton comes out in favor of smirking suggestively. -

Aggerton: I could enjoy being watched.

Kaliyo: Ooh, could be fun.

- frame: Kaliyo walks away. Aggerton whips out a datapad. -

- frame: Datapad screen. Aggerton touch-typing near the end of the current text line. -

PEOPLE WHO ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO TRY TO KILL ME: KALIYO CRAZYPANTS

 

 

- The private holo room in Nem'ro's palace. Aggerton faces the grim image of Keeper.-

Keeper: I monitored your conversation with Nem'ro's enforcer, Kaliyo. We've identified her as a freelance assassin, enforcer, and anarchist. She's been attached to a dozen employers in half as many years, using several different aliases. She's something of a wild card.

Aggerton: Yeah. That one's trouble.

Keeper: I'm thinking about hiring her.

Aggerton: You're what?

Keeper: Oh, there is more.

- frame -

Keeper: Your next mission is going to be sabotage of Nem'ro's rival, Fa'athra. Get to his mining facility. Destroy everything. The necessary explosives have already been delivered to your room.

Aggerton: Enough explosives to take out an industrial facility.

Keeper: Yes.

Aggerton: In my room.

Keeper: Yes.

Aggerton: Did Intelligence at some point claim that they have anything close to my best interests in mind?

Keeper: No.

Aggerton: Ah. Figures.

Keeper: Good luck. Keeper out.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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