dewayne Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Once someone told Baras that speeders aren't good for him, So he stopped eating speeders. i know it off topic...........but had me rolling thinking of darth nox and khem on arriving drumond kaas Edited February 16, 2013 by dewayne typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmarsian Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 In the Sith Warrior story on Dromund Kaas: When Darth Baras interrogates the Republic Agent: When the Warrior is away, and after Baras said "Tell me what I want to know!!!": Rep. dude: "I won't tell you!!! Never!!!" Baras: "You will... or otherwise..." *grabs the bottom of his shirt* Rep. dude: "No! Don't, please, I beg you!!! I will tell you everything!!!" Baras: "Well!? Tell me!" Rep. dude: "What do I actually have to tell you?" Baras: "Oh, I forgot about that. Now, I haven't found any McDonalds in Kaas City. Where is the one on Coruscant?" Rep. dude: "Eeh... I don't think there's a McDonalds on Coruscant..." Baras: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" *takes off his shirt* Rep. dude: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (of course, Baras is not shown, because the player watching this would just die) The Rep. dude's eyes start shooting lightning, and then he is annihilated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dovid-r Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 The Empire held Coruscant hostage by threatening to make Darth Baras Force Leap onto the Senate Building. the migrant merchants' guild realized after their failed attempt to sabotage the traffic systems to bring down the senate tower that they could just convince baras to take a short ride in one of the transports Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmarsian Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Darth Baras in warzones: Alderaan Civil War: 2 possibilities: -The Imperial ship immediately collapses. -Baras falls through the Imperial ship's bottom, and when he hits the groud, a shockwave is created which hurls the turrets at the Republic ship. Voidstar: -defender: when the enemy places a bomb on one of the doors, he just grabs it and buries it inside his fat rolls, which are shock-resistant. -attacker: Baras just walks through the doors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwarsmarsian Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Darth Baras VS Republic Vanguard (this vanguard is an idiot, just so you know) -Vanguard uses grapple -Baras is so heavy he can't be moved, so the Vanguard is pulled to Baras instead -The Vanguard is buried inside Baras's fat rolls END OF FIGHT! Winner: Darth Baras! Darth Baras: "what did just happen?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBetty Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Baras never has any trouble bringing an orb to the pylon on Ilum . He just sits on the pylon and noone else can click it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saiyanjedidmv Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 do you all want to know the real reason bioware will never make non humanoid races such as wookiees and jawas playable? it is because baras threatened to eat one of the employees all the while sitting on 10 others at the same time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dovid-r Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Mandalorians on Tatooine - "You saw Darth Baras without his mask on?" "yep. Got thirsty out in the wastes. Hunkered down and had a little peek" "so what did you see? how did he look?" "like the Michelin Man. " LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beniboybling Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Mandalorians on Tatooine - "You saw Darth Baras without his mask on?" "yep. Got thirsty out in the wastes. Hunkered down and had a little peek" "so what did you see? how did he look?" "like the Michelin Man. " LOLNice one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuntressBralor Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Darth Baras is Jabba the Hutt's role model Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KorbanShepard Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Pilsbury Dough Lord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selenial Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Darth Baras is so fat, when he lies around the citadel... He lies Around the citadel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saiyanjedidmv Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 baras was once considered for the role of playing jabba the hutt but they decided against it cause he was too fat. other roles baras was considered for include garfield, that one fat guy from austin powers, a rancor, the krayt dragon from kotor, and many others no one hired cause he would have made a terrible role model for the world's overweight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinapus Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Pilsbury Dough Lord "What did you do, Ray?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBetty Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 The most epic sith battle in history was and always will be Baras trying to sqeeze into a pair of jeans "I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ventessel Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 The most epic sith battle in history was and always will be Baras trying to sqeeze into a pair of jeans "I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Hahaha, that is a pretty good one. The mental imagery is, of course, traumatizing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedimasterjac Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Darth Baras gained weight during the Cold War. When his fellow Dark Lords asked him why, he said that he didn't need to train because he was too powerful. This lead to an unnatural weight gain that has unfortunately forced him to refrain from fighting on the front lines. If the Dark Lords ever need to get rid of him, they plan to have him lead an assault on Coruscant personally. Did Aurbere just make a joke?! (you know I love you) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedimasterjac Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 They say Darth Baras' last apprentice was killed when he accidentally dropped the cupcakes while trying to open Baras' apartment door. Though only one cupcake was lost that day, Baras went into a rage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buuli Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Lowering your graphics-settings from very high to very low doesn't effect Baras's bodyfat-count! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captaincr Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Baras the wide? I thought not, its not a story that a Jedi would tell you. Its a Sith Legend Darth Baras the wide was a Sith Lord that was so fat that he could shift the gravity and density of planets around him to destroy his enemies. He had such a knowledge of the culinary arts that that he could even fatten up the ones that he cared about. You see the fat side of the force is a pathway to obesity that some would consider to be unnatural. In fact he became sofatl that the only thing he feared was sharing his food which unfortunately he never did. He denied his apprentice a twinkie and the apprentice deflated him like an overstuffed tire. weird he could stuff his fat face all day and he never took off his armor. The Baras Sith code dieting is a lie , there is only deep fried twinkies Through deep fried twinkies, I gain weight. Through weight gain, I gain love handles. Throug hlove handles , I gain girth.' Through girth , my jeans are ruptured. My Twinkies shall set me free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allysaala Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 "Travelling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly through a star or bounce too close to Darth Baras, and that would end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?" roflmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saiyanjedidmv Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 here is an alternate take on the final showdown between the sith warrior and baras: baras: fine i shall grant the slaves final request.......but first what is his power level, council? council: ITS 1006. baras:what really that's all? council:kicks his butt baras! baras:BWAHAHAHA! this will be fun! "baras attacks......and the warrior presedes to beat to beat the every living snot out of him with only his fist!" baras:OW....BOOF....ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....the pain.... council wide eyed:hmmmmm this doesnt seem right. baras: OW OW OW OW MY ARM DOESNT BEND THAT WAY IT DOES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT ""snap" "baras screams like a little girl" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NOW IT DOES!!! council: oh wait uh baras? baras:WHAAAAAAAAT?!? council:we had our scouters upside down......its over.......wait WE ARE NOT DOING THAT STUPID MEME!!!! me:do it anyway! council:NO! me:well i guess this proves the jedi are super.... council:dont say it we will do it......its over 9000. baras:NOW YOU TELL ME!!!! council:well thats what you get for being so cocky. sith warrior: well time to die! baras:WAIT....we could share all of our special empire cookiees. sith warrior and council:you ate them all..... baras:well....uh....i could convince the game designers to make jar jar your ally! sith warrior:WHAT?!? thats it die! baras:WAAAAAIIIIIT! "baras dies a horrible offscreeen death" council:at last the end of baras! and with the empires food shortage dies along with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmashedDexi Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Baras was originally found on Tatooine, who was being trained a s a tribal war bantha by the sand people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubi-Scadubie Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 Many Bothan spys died and were eat'n by Darth Baras, trying to get us this stolen information This is what Darth Baras looks like with out his armor http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2011/339/9/e/taikon_by_arrancarfighter-d4h4ne9.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackholeskipper Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Baras the wide? I thought not, its not a story that a Jedi would tell you. Its a Sith Legend Darth Baras the wide was a Sith Lord that was so fat that he could shift the gravity and density of planets around him to destroy his enemies. He had such a knowledge of the culinary arts that that he could even fatten up the ones that he cared about. You see the fat side of the force is a pathway to obesity that some would consider to be unnatural. In fact he became sofatl that the only thing he feared was sharing his food which unfortunately he never did. He denied his apprentice a twinkie and the apprentice deflated him like an overstuffed tire. weird he could stuff his fat face all day and he never took off his armor. This is brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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