silvershadows Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Hey guys, I'm back again with my latest novella, In the Shadows - Child of Wrath. This is, of course, the sequel to my first fanfic, In the Shadows - A Smuggler's Tale, written nearly a year ago. Child of Wrath is my most ambitious fan fiction writing to date, and also my longest, despite my best efforts to keep the size of the story down. It just seemed to run away with me. Due to the length of Child of Wrath, I decided I'm not going to post it here in it's entirety, and instead give a synopsis of the story along with an excerpt, and a link to my DeviantArt account, where the story can be read in PDF format, making it much easier on the eyes than trying to read over 100 pages of story in forum posts. For those of you with E-readers, you can download the PDF file from DeviantArt and then convert it into an epub format your E-reader can use. I would ask that if you comment on the story though, that you do so here because I don't check my DA account that often, but DO check the SWTOR forums every day. As always, I encourage people to check out my other stories... though I actually find myself wishing that people would NOT re-read A Smuggler's Tale before reading Child of Wrath, as I believe my writing style has evolved tremendously since my first foray into fan fiction, and almost find myself cringing when I go back and re-read A Smuggler's Tale. Not that it's bad, but it could have been much better. Anyway, should you decide to re-read any of my other work, especially since the characters from the In the Shadows series appear in my Of Blood and Honor series, here is a list of links in chronological order: In the Shadows - A Smuggler's Tale Of Blood and Honor - A Mandalorian Vacation Of Blood and Honor - Jedi Hunt Of Blood and Honor - Jailbreak Synopsis for Child of Wrath and an excerpt in the post to follow! You can find the full story HERE at my DeviantArt page. If your browser doesn't support PDF, just click where it says 'download PDF' and the story will open for you, assuming you have Acrobat Reader or another program that supports PDF files. If you don't have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can get it at Adobe's main page. If it seems there are a lot of people who can't read it in PDF format, then let me know and I will try to format it for the forums, though its length will make it very tedious, which is why I don't want to do it PS - I understand some of you are unhappy with me due to my abrasiveness and the fact I can come across as... slightly mean sometimes, but I would really like to just put that all behind us so that I can continue to post my work here without feeling like it might be ignored just because I wrote it I am not a very social person and so I often have a hard time communicating with others without angering them in some way. This is why I write so much fiction, at least my characters would get me Edited March 26, 2013 by silvershadows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Here is a short synopsis of Child of Wrath! It’s been a little over a year since Jedi Master Isad’ia defeated the Sith Lord Darth Umbral on the icy planet of Hoth in a daring rescue of the smuggler captain, Lillian Riggs. Now plagued with ominous visions of the future, Isad’ia finds herself once more allied with the silver-eyed smuggler, facing off against the Dark Lord that has become her nemesis. Lillian Riggs just can’t seem to get a break. After retrieving an unusually powerful Rakatan weapon for one of the noble houses of Alderaan, she finds herself thrust once more into the world of the Jedi and Sith, traveling to the volcanic fortress of the Emperor’s Wrath in an attempt to stop her from gaining the Rakatan technology for herself. Darth Umbral’s ambitions have grown since her defeat at the hands of the Twi’lek Jedi Master, Isad’ia, and the discovery that she was bearing a child within her. Now that Xavian has been born, the Emperor’s Wrath is ready to put her plans into motion – a dark plot that centers around her son’s extreme Force sensitivity, and has the potential to shake the very foundations of the Empire itself. Edited March 26, 2013 by silvershadows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 And a short excerpt, a teaser really. One foot in front of the other. Step by step, she made her way forward through the darkness that surrounded her, enveloping her body in its nebulous shroud. Her hand brushed over her eyes, as if trying to banish the night that clouded her vision. Ahead of her, two glowing pinpoints of light smoldered like the embers of a fire that would not be quenched. The sense of dread that filled her was unusual; a strange feeling for one who always strove to keep herself in balance. Her feet grew heavier, as if they, too, were afraid of what might be beyond the darkness. “Turn back,” the air seemed to whisper. “You do not want to see what lies ahead.” A shake of her head, and she was in control once more. Before her, the figure of a man appeared, cloaked and hooded in thick black robes. Beneath the cowl that hid his face shimmered the lights she had seen, resolving themselves into the eyes of the dark one. He did not stand upon the ground, but rather floated, ghostlike, suspended in the air. A bone white hand extended from his voluminous sleeve, the index finger stretching forth to point at the earth in front of her. Her eyes followed the movement, and she felt a knot form in her stomach as she stopped walking, halting her steps centimeters before falling into the massive pit that suddenly yawned at her feet. The stench of rot and decay filled her nostrils as she peeked over the chasm’s edge. An icy hand squeezed her heart as she saw what lay within. There, amidst bubbling, foul-smelling mud, limbs tangled together like discarded dolls, were the bodies of those she knew and loved. Her friends, her apprentice. Her lover, and even her master – who had been killed long ago. Mold grew in patches over their skin, insects and rodents swarmed over their bodies. Her heart lurched in her chest as she felt the heavy touch of the dark man’s hand fall upon her shoulder, and she whirled away from him, only to find herself face to face with his hooded countenance. The dark-cloaked one held a shovel, its long handle gripped in his pale hand, which he extended out toward her as if proffering a gift. Unbidden, her own hands reached out to take it, fingers curling around the smooth wood. Unable to stop herself, she dug the tool into the loose dirt beneath her, lifting a shovelful of soil. Turning, she spilled the black earth into the hole, watching it tumble through the air to spatter over the faces of her friends as they lay in death at the bottom of the pit. Next to her, the hooded man began to laugh. Isad’ia’s eyes flew open, and she sat upright in her bed, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. As she rested her chin on her knees, she noticed her body was shaking, the tips of her lekku twitching as they draped themselves over her shoulders. A sudden flare of light caused her to blink her amethyst eyes and lift a hand to ward off the intrusive glare. Peering through her fingers, she saw the source of the light – a man seated in the chair next to her bed, who stared at her with concern darkening his deep brown gaze. “Another one?” His question was a soft whisper, and she lowered her hand, resting it on the blanket that covered the bed, her sky-blue fingers picking at a loose thread. “No,” she replied, shaking her head. “More of the same.” READ THE FULL STORY, CHILD OF WRATH, HERE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddarkangel Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) I read all in few hours and I loved it !!! Please I need more!!! hehe Thanks for writing! Edited March 28, 2013 by ddarkangel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 I read all in few hours and I loved it !!! Please I need more!!! hehe Thanks for writing! Thank you Don't worry, there will be more coming, though it's up in the air right now whether or not I will continue Umbral and Isad'ia's saga or return to my Mandalorian series for the next novella Taking suggestions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpoeMeister Posted March 29, 2013 Share Posted March 29, 2013 Hey Silvershadows I just downloaded the PDF to read it. 89 pages is a whole lot, so it will take some time before I've read them all. Next Monday I have a 5 hours train ride ahead of me, so by Monday evening I should have finished everything. I've also taken the opportunity to download the other stories again. I love to re-read them (even though you cringe at the first In the Shadows) and with the train ride, I'll (hopefully) have plenty of time for that :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted March 29, 2013 Author Share Posted March 29, 2013 Hey Silvershadows I just downloaded the PDF to read it. 89 pages is a whole lot, so it will take some time before I've read them all. Next Monday I have a 5 hours train ride ahead of me, so by Monday evening I should have finished everything. I've also taken the opportunity to download the other stories again. I love to re-read them (even though you cringe at the first In the Shadows) and with the train ride, I'll (hopefully) have plenty of time for that :-) Looking forward to seeing what you think! You always give me really good feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpoeMeister Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) I finally got to read all of it :-) Although it were 89 pages, it was actually pretty easy to read due to the white lines in between. But I'll get to the point. I will put my thoughts in spoiler brackets this time because I don't want people to involuntarily read plot lines! 1. Very good cliffhanger! I like how the visions of Isad'ia could be interpreted in multiple ways! I think I made this comment with your teaser in your other thread, but I'll say it again anyways. So we think by the end of the story, the vision has come to fruitition and Isad'ia has stopped the threat, but then your last two sentences completely changed that thought. Awesome stuff that, but off course I expect you now to give us the sequel within the next couple of weeks 2. The character development of Lillian had a very good start. After the first "In the Shadows" I was curious how she would cope with the trauma she faced on Hoth. Seeing your husband die, getting tortured and at some point losing the will to live is not something you easily forget. You really gave a very realistic description of the aftermath, and even added an extra dimension to it with the miscarriage! Awesome stuff.... BUT... I feel the turning point, the moment where Lillian faces her fears and insecurities, was a bit too bland... Maybe it's because I really felt so sorry for her, and the way you write about her, that I feel it deserved a lot more attention and some very good payback. I almost expected, after Corso assured her that it's Umbrals fault and hers alone they lost the baby, that Lillian would have been the one to deliver the "finishing blow"... I feel that Pierce was not the person from who she'd regain her old self... I hope this makes sense.... 3. Doc is awesome! We saw many facets of him in this story that made him a really likeable character. You've written some very good portraits of multiple companions (most notably Torian Cadera) and Doc is really well done! I scared the *censored* out of some fellow train passengers when I laughed out loud with this quote: “Hey,” the dark-haired man called, dashing out from behind the starship. “Take two of these, and holo me in the morning!” He fired – once, twice – causing the soldiers to turn and lift their weapons in his direction. 4. This is probably a very personal opinion, mostly I think because I've read all the Game of Thrones books in the past couple of months, but I was kinda wondering if you ever decide to "really" kill off an important character from one of the protagonists... You did this very well in the "Of blood and honor" series by first killing Apoc's brother and then adding a new protagonist who had to betray his own family... This is the stuff, if written correctly, that can move a reader. I know you did it in another series, so I'm not asking you to do it again. But I was kind of expecting to see Kira winning her duel with Jaesa but in the process getting mortally wounded. Again, I think this may be me being influenced by Game of Thrones. So in general, I really loved the story and I'm very anxious to read what you're planning for the continuation of these series. Before, I was all about the "of blood and honor" series and this was a nice side event sort of, but I now want to see more of this too! Keep it up! Edited April 1, 2013 by SpoeMeister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 I finally got to read all of it :-) Although it were 89 pages, it was actually pretty easy to read due to the white lines in between. But I'll get to the point. I will put my thoughts in spoiler brackets this time because I don't want people to involuntarily read plot lines! 1. Very good cliffhanger! I like how the visions of Isad'ia could be interpreted in multiple ways! I think I made this comment with your teaser in your other thread, but I'll say it again anyways. So we think by the end of the story, the vision has come to fruitition and Isad'ia has stopped the threat, but then your last two sentences completely changed that thought. Awesome stuff that, but off course I expect you now to give us the sequel within the next couple of weeks 2. The character development of Lillian had a very good start. After the first "In the Shadows" I was curious how she would cope with the trauma she faced on Hoth. Seeing your husband die, getting tortured and at some point losing the will to live is not something you easily forget. You really gave a very realistic description of the aftermath, and even added an extra dimension to it with the miscarriage! Awesome stuff.... BUT... I feel the turning point, the moment where Lillian faces her fears and insecurities, was a bit too bland... Maybe it's because I really felt so sorry for her, and the way you write about her, that I feel it deserved a lot more attention and some very good payback. I almost expected, after Corso assured her that it's Umbrals fault and hers alone they lost the baby, that Lillian would have been the one to deliver the "finishing blow"... I feel that Pierce was not the person from who she'd regain her old self... I hope this makes sense.... 3. Doc is awesome! We saw many facets of him in this story that made him a really likeable character. You've written some very good portraits of multiple companions (most notably Torian Cadera) and Doc is really well done! I scared the *censored* out of some fellow train passengers when I laughed out loud with this quote: 4. This is probably a very personal opinion, mostly I think because I've read all the Game of Thrones books in the past couple of months, but I was kinda wondering if you ever decide to "really" kill off an important character from one of the protagonists... You did this very well in the "Of blood and honor" series by first killing Apoc's brother and then adding a new protagonist who had to betray his own family... This is the stuff, if written correctly, that can move a reader. I know you did it in another series, so I'm not asking you to do it again. But I was kind of expecting to see Kira winning her duel with Jaesa but in the process getting mortally wounded. Again, I think this may be me being influenced by Game of Thrones. So in general, I really loved the story and I'm very anxious to read what you're planning for the continuation of these series. Before, I was all about the "of blood and honor" series and this was a nice side event sort of, but I now want to see more of this too! Keep it up! Thanks for reading it and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Now, to address your points! A few weeks, ha! You know me, we'll be lucky if we see another story in a couple months I'm actually floating a plot for the next Of Blood and Honor right now, and when that is done I'll probably pick back up with In the Shadows - possibly a story without Lillian or Isad'ia though - just Umbral and Quinn instead. The events that will unfold for the characters of In the Shadows will take place over multiple stories, I've come to realize that I'm basically writing a saga that will never end I had tried very hard to make Isad'ia's visions have several possible interpretations, so that when she latches on to the one she believes is the truth, the reader may have already drawn the same conclusion, while also worrying about the possibility that she could, in fact, be wrong. Jedi are not infallible, and a lot of people seem to forget that. Ah, Lillian. I understand why you might see her 'moment of recovery' to be somewhat bland, but that's because it wasn't so much a moment as a series of moments, a gradual change over a couple days that eventually culminated when she had the choice to shoot Pierce or not. I suppose one reason I didn't delve into her brain at that moment was fear - my own fear that I had made Lillian out to be a tragic, pitiful creature instead of the bad-*** smuggler she actually is, and I really didn't want to overwhelm people with her emotions. I suffer from PTSD myself, and I've been in Lillian's shoes. It's very much like how I portrayed it, and as you could see, her actual healing process began when she made the decision to go along with Isad'ia to Umbral's fortress. Then she had that moment with Corso, laying in his lap, finally admitting both to him, and to herself that she felt guilty, felt that it was her fault, that she had basically murdered her own child. That emotional outpouring there was her true pivotal moment - because her guilt wouldn't let her get over her fear. Once the guilt was gone, the fear was much easier for her to handle. And standing there, looking down at Pierce, knowing she was the one in control - all that did was solidify everything for her. It wasn't "the" pivotal moment for her, that had already happened, but it was like the icing on her get-well cake And Doc. I love Doc so much. I've leveled several Jedi Knights because of Doc, and on each one I used him as my active companion from the moment I got him, and never used another. A lot of people seem to not like Doc, or they think he's a jerk or a pervert, and I've seen him take a lot of abuse both from players and other writers. I was on Isad'ia standing next to the pvp terminal a few weeks ago, when my friend came up to me and looked at my Doc standing there, and all she could say was "Ew. Doc. Why is he such a creep?" In the game, Doc is pretty much exactly the way I write him, irreverent and brazenly cocky. ("We're like two asteroids on a collision course, beautiful! The only thing left is... colliding.") But if you use him as your active companion and you play your character as a true Jedi (except for the parts where you fall in love with Doc, of course), he will show you his true face on numerous occasions, and you end up finding out there is a very serious, thoughtful man under that mask. Though... I have to say one of my favorite moments from the knight storyline is the very end, when you find out Doc's real name, and then Kira's reaction to it. ("Archiban? Seriously?") I try really hard with all of the companions to write them as close to the way they are in game as I can, because even though I'm writing about them, they aren't really my characters (except for Torian, I totally claim Torian now, lol). In the game, Doc brings a lot of comic relief to the dark storyline that is the Jedi Knight story, and that is one reason why I enjoy writing him so much, because humor is such an integral part of any Star Wars story, and Doc makes it very easy for me to add some. I really can only hope I do the character a modicum of justice, and also hope that if the person who created him saw my work, that they would approve. And finally, about killing off important characters. This is something I struggle with, as the death of any one of the main characters would throw off my chances/ideas for future stories. Despite that, I know that it's hard to have them keep clashing yet nobody ever gets killed. Killing Jaesa served a two-fold purpose for me. First, it allowed me to kill off a minor character in a way that helped to show Umbral's darkness even more - when she subsumed Jaesa's life essence via the Force (though given to her by the Emperor), as Jaesa's last thoughts were only about how she failed her master. Second, it will allow me to create a new character for the next In the Shadows installment, as Umbral will need a new apprentice to train while she waits for Xavian's eventual return. I had thought about killing Kira as well, but decided against it for now, though it may still occur later on in the saga. Instead, what happened will be something that I will show later on, in the next story - Jaesa's death affects Kira in a very deep, personal way, and even though I don't mention it in Child of Wrath, it will be a theme that follows Kira into the next installment of In the Shadows. Killing off characters is a very hard thing to do when you need them to stick around to keep your plot going, lol. Whew! Alright, all that said... I'm floating a plot for the next Of Blood and Honor, and I think what I'll do from now on is write them alternately, so after this next Of Blood and Honor, there will be another installment of In the Shadows. This way I don't get burned out on either storyline. I'm also working with some ideas for a story or two involving the Sith Sorcerer Araidia and her crazy pirate lover, Andronikos Revel. Along with that, I've also written down some ideas for a short series of two or three stories that center around Raia Jesses, and what she is doing now, after the events in Jailbreak. Now that she's better, Lillian and Corso may even get a story or two of their own. Another thing I've decided is that I'm not going to hold myself back anymore. If my story ends up being 100 + pages, it ends up being 100+ pages. And since I will, from now on, be posting my stories in pdf format on DeviantArt, that means I also don't have to worry so much about my descriptions of violence or death/serious injury, since I'm not bound by the forum rules any more. Not being bound by the forum rules or censorship also opens up the possibilities of me writing more detailed romantic encounters. While I have zero interest in writing erotica and wouldn't write it that way anyway, I will finally be able to describe characters who are nude using full descriptions, and can actually write out romantic encounters from beginning to end. Of course, again, I wouldn't be writing it as erotica, but I would be able to describe thoughts, emotions, and sensations without fear of being censored or banned. So yay for that, i guess. Again, I'm really glad you enjoyed Child of Wrath, I really think its my most ambitious fan fiction to date, and writing-wise, probably my best fan fiction, period. Though the storyline that comes with the Of Blood and Honor series is my favorite storyline, Child of Wrath really helped me feel like writing a full novel is much more feasible than I've ever believed it to be, and it might even be good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Just as an update, I've started work on my next Mandalorian novel, currently titled Of Blood and Honor IV since I can't figure out what to call it yet. I'll be posting excerpts and teasers on my DeviantArt page as I work on the new one, and I am really excited about writing this story, even more so than I was Child of Wrath, since my mind seems to have forgotten its worries about length and instead has come up with a really epic, sweeping story. Click here to go to my DA page where you can get updates for the stories I'm working on. You can also subscribe to me there if you want, which will give you a notice every time I publish an excerpt or a story. (Just an fyi, I'm not bumping this 'without content', I just don't see the need to make a whole new thread to link people to my DA journal.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpoeMeister Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Just as an update, I've started work on my next Mandalorian novel, currently titled Of Blood and Honor IV since I can't figure out what to call it yet. I'll be posting excerpts and teasers on my DeviantArt page as I work on the new one, and I am really excited about writing this story, even more so than I was Child of Wrath, since my mind seems to have forgotten its worries about length and instead has come up with a really epic, sweeping story. Click here to go to my DA page where you can get updates for the stories I'm working on. You can also subscribe to me there if you want, which will give you a notice every time I publish an excerpt or a story. (Just an fyi, I'm not bumping this 'without content', I just don't see the need to make a whole new thread to link people to my DA journal.) I made a DA account just for that :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Haha, awesome. DA is a great site, I've been there for years. Some really talented Star Wars artists out there (for example one woman did THIS piece of art which makes me so happy every time I look at it I can't even begin to describe it... BEST SWTOR ARTWORK EVER) I'll probably be posting teasers once a week or so, so when you log into deviantart, there *SHOULD* be notifications when I publish one. There's a teaser in my journal on my main page right now, actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perihelion Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 That is a great find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershadows Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Isn't it? It's my desktop, rofl. A friend asked me the other day why I play Star Wars: The Old Republic. I responded with, "I have four reasons. Vector Hyllus, Malavai Quinn, Torian Cadera, and Andronikos Revel." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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