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irishfino
05.07.2013 , 10:01 AM | #342
***
It had been a few weeks since his meeting with Jadus and his near death at Cerrill’s hands. Jadus had not called upon him since and Cerrill… Cerrill continued her attempts as she was programmed to do. Jaesa was wholly unaware of this and he hoped to keep it that way. He was afraid that, for all her power, Cerrill would easily overwhelm her in battle. Cerrill was trained, merciless, brutal, and the personal assassin to Darth Jadus. There was no one he feared more for that Jaesa, not even himself. When the dreams switched their focus it scared him. He had to protect her, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her why. No matter what, he would shield her from Jadus, from Cerrill, from the coldness that permeated the Destroyer.

“Talk to me, Malavai,” Jaesa said quietly.

They were in his small room, he under the covers of the bed, she sitting on the edge pestering him. She could tell something was different. His sleep patterns were different, his quiet, frenzied muttering in his sleep was different, even the screams were different. Of all the changes, the screams bothered her the most. They weren’t his normal pained cries, but cries of battle. It was as if he was fighting a war in his sleep some nights. His refusal to talk about his dreams frustrated her to no end.

“I have told you before they are just dreams,” he replied quietly.

She made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat and exhaled through her nose. “They’re different. I can tell. Your reactions are different. You’re more… fighting something than you are being beaten to near death repeatedly.”

“Jaesa-”

“Do you trust me?” she asked, interrupting whatever thought he had. He sat up, but remained silent.

“I have issues recalling the specifics of the dreams and I would rather not explore them at this point. It has nothing to do with trust,” he said stiffly. He did trust her. He trusted her with more than he was comfortable with and he wasn’t sure why he bothered.

“You’re not alone anymore, Malavai. If you ever want to explore the dreams, I’m here. We can do a guided meditation together. Anything to help, just tell me.”

“In the dreams,” he started quietly. She looked at him intently and he looked away, opting to stare at the grey sheets instead. “In the dreams there is an attack. Someone close to me dies and my son is kidnapped by slavers. He dies in the slave pens and I fall so far from grace I become another man entirely.”

“That’s terrible, Malavai,” Jaesa said quietly. She reached for him and gently cupped his cheek in her hand. He dragged his eyes from the grey of the covers to the soft brown of her eyes. She smiled. “It’s alright. It was a dream and not all dreams need to come true.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head into her hand. The gesture was more affectionate than Jaesa was expecting. He had been so reserved lately, so cautious, as if he were scared that any speck of emotion fluttering from him would be his end. Even in private he was quiet and thinking. Always thinking. Maybe he was finally coming around, finally reacting to her small, but affectionate gestures. Maybe he finally realized she was his ally. Maybe, she dared to hope, he was starting to return her affections.

“Stay,” he said, his voice shaky and low.

“Malavai, I haven’t slept in –”

“Lie down with me and sleep.” He opened his eyes halfway and focused on her. “Just sleep, nothing more.”

“And you trust me not to take advantage of you?” she asked lightly.

“Yes,” he breathed, his voice dangerously low, “yes, I trust you.”

That sentence, that declaration of trust sent a jolt speeding down her spine and straight to places she didn’t want to admit had any part in this discussion. She stood from the bed and moved around to the other side, removing her clothing as she went. She couldn’t stop the shaking in her hands nor her racing thoughts, but she was satisfied with the knowledge that, if anything happened, it would be with him.

He quietly watched her through half-lidded eyes as she slowly removed her outer robes. He wasn’t sure what the right path was, but the lead up to the end of his dream showed him something wonderful. He wanted that something wonderful. He wanted her. When she climbed into bed and faced him instead of turning her back to him to be held, he knew there was a chance. Slowly, he slid down to the bed and turned on his side to face her. He balanced himself on his elbow and waited. He wanted to give her time to turn away or verbally reject him. When she smiled that small knowing, but shy smile he moved closer to her. Their bodies were close enough to feel the heat from the other, but not close enough to touch. He wanted to ask her if this was what she wanted, but, before he could, the impatient woman grabbed his free shoulder and launched her face at his. There a bit of uncomfortable fumbling and quite a few feminine giggles before they settled into a comfortable pattern of kissing and exploring. It wasn’t long before they intertwined their bodies, becoming one for a moment that was all too brief, but wholly satisfying. When their all too brief joining came to an end, he held her close to his chest and twined their fingers together. It wasn’t the same, but this holding of hands was far more intimate than any other he had experienced prior. It both thrilled and frightened him.


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Spoiler
I'll probably die if you group with me, but I'll go out with both lightsabers drawn stabbing someone in the face. Probably you, but it's cool. Forever Shenanigans!!