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captaincr
03.07.2013 , 05:57 PM | #370
did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Baras the wide?
I thought not, its not a story that a Jedi would tell you. Its a Sith Legend
Darth Baras the wide was a Sith Lord that was so fat that he could shift the gravity and density of planets around him to destroy his enemies. He had such a knowledge of the culinary arts that that he could even fatten up the ones that he cared about.
You see the fat side of the force is a pathway to obesity that some would consider to be unnatural.
In fact he became sofatl that the only thing he feared was sharing his food which unfortunately he never did. He denied his apprentice a twinkie and the apprentice deflated him like an overstuffed tire.
weird he could stuff his fat face all day and he never took off his armor.

The Baras Sith code

dieting is a lie , there is only deep fried twinkies
Through deep fried twinkies, I gain weight.
Through weight gain, I gain love handles.
Throug hlove handles , I gain girth.'
Through girth , my jeans are ruptured.
My Twinkies shall set me free