I like how you lay the blame on the tank for being bad when it's really the DPS who are screwing up. If the DPS doesn't follow kill order and pulls before the tank, then he isn't a "really good one," even if his rotation is perfect and his DPS is top notch. He's another crappy DPS who's going to be kicked/ ignored and will wait in the FP queue for another hour. It isn't widening the divide between the great and poor tanks, it's widening the divide between good and bad DPSers, and this is coming from a tank who CAN compensate for DPS pulling, but I just choose not to because I shouldn't have to, and the neither should the healer.
I don't care what kind of bad habits you've formed. Break them, or be kicked. It's really that simple.