Please upgrade your browser for the best possible experience.

Chrome Firefox Internet Explorer


Vorias's Avatar

09.05.2017 , 05:36 PM | #1
A thousand years ago, during the Sith Wars, a group of Jedi and their families fled the conflict in search of a refuge from the bloody conflict. They found themselves on a remote Outer Rim planet called Yanibarr. This planet was so unforgiving that in their first decade nearly half of them perished, but ultimately, with the remaining "former" Jedi among them, they'd learned how to navigate this harsh planet, and deal with it's harsh climate extremes.

For nearly a millennia they'd forged their own path. Adapting their Force abilities to suit their survival, and that of their families. Little did they know that during the war they fled, any Jedi with knowledge of their journey perished, and so with time they came to resent the Order changing some ideals, but holding some near.

During the early years of their settlement one was born to a Jedi, and his wife.. His name was Bastian Balkin... a quiet, yet powerful Force sensitive. It wasn't he who banded the group together, but in the early decades on Yannibar wound up leading them. His resolute, and peaceful nature became the backbone of what they would call the Zeison Sha. His parents never left his side, though his father did not train him.. another did.. he remained with his parents. This action amazed the Jedi who first came to Yannibar noticing his powerful, yet subtle connection to the Force. Yannibar teaches you to rely on yourself, and for the Force sensitives to tap into an instinctual kinetic ability Some were natural fighters/defenders while others showed great skill in leveitation. Later Bastian would revise his experience... a Force sensitive parent may train their child...

Early in his... leadership.. Bastian would meet a beautiful smuggler from the small explorers that had stumbled upon them creating a tiny spaceport and trading station. Her name.. Bianca Nomi Sharees. Together they were only able to have one child.. a boy they named Borias... through the decades the Balkin family members were leaders, in one form or another, of the Zeison Sha culture.. even having a hand in the building of the Sha Kalaan, their temple. Until Borias the 4th, and his wife Fiona gave birth to a son.. a son they'd call Vorias. Since neither were Force Sensitive they were shocked to see his ability..

Then the unthinkable happened.. a Lord of the Sith discovered the tiny trading post, and sensed the power not only of the infant Vorias, but the entire population. Seeing as a threat to Sith dominance this unnamed Lord of the Sith brought his forces down upon Yannibar, nearly destroying they're entire culture, but the Zeison Sha proved more than he could handle, however he sensed something else. A neutral power.. pure.. innocent.. a power who had yet to harbor the same resentment toward the Jedi, but could potentially bring about his ruination, and so he concocted a plan to snatch this newborn... a plan that nearly succeeded if not for Bianca, and a Togrutan friend of hers.. This Sith managed to contain the baby Vorias in a cryostasis pod, but it was stolen by Bianca, and smuggled off of Yannibar by her Togrutan friend.. what happed after....
Looking to the Force, solely, for power or protection takes away from your own abilities. Focus determines your reality... trust your instincts.

MayhemofChaonus's Avatar

09.23.2017 , 04:14 PM | #2
Your conceptualization is looking good, but do you have a Beta reader? There are some grammatical errors and places where the phrasing could be improved.

Other than that I like this concept, and hope you flesh it out into a full-fledged story.
"The weak will always be victims. That is the way of the universe. The strong take what they want, and the weak suffer at their hands. That is their fate; it is inevitable. Only the strong survive, because only the strong deserve to" - Darth Bane
May the Force forsake you