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Long Odds and Dames


MishaCantu's Avatar


MishaCantu
10.17.2016 , 11:19 AM | #1
A/N
Spoiler


Chapter One

- Trouble Walks Through the Door-

Of all the detective agencies on all the worlds in the galaxy, she had to walk into mine.

I knew she was trouble the minute she came through my door. Her dark, almost black hair was perfectly coiffed into a long page boy parted on the side so that the wave on the right almost covered that side of her face. I knew coy when I saw it. Her plum colored hat sat at an angle on her head, the single feather sweeping backward and the mesh veil covered the top of her face down to the nose. I could not see her eyes from this distance. but her eyes were not what she had put on display.

The cut of her matching plum suit was expensive, tailor made for sure, her silk blouse was buttoned up to the bottom of her long neck and ended in rows of lace indicating demureness and purity. Everything else about her denied those perceptions. A single platinum and pearl brooch adorned her lapel and I could see the hint of matching earrings peak out from under her hair when she turned her head. Black leather gloves covered her hands and her black ankle strap heels were the perfect height to accentuate the muscles in her calves where they showed under her 3/4 length skirt. She grasped a small black clutch with a diamond clasp in her left hand.

I have a nose for money and she was old money through and through. New money was loud and transparent, old money was quiet, and hid their secrets well.

I stood up behind my desk and motioned for her to take the seat across from me. She walked slowly from the door, testing the effect her motion had, reading my eyes. She had legs that went all the way to heaven and hips that could birth nations, she used all of it as she came to a stop and extended a gloved hand.

The faintest scent of Corellian orchids reached my nostrils as I took her hand in mine, her grip was stronger than I had imagined. It was the grip of someone who had held a blaster and knew how to use it. Oh, yeah, she was trouble with a capital T.

"Detective Deklinn, my name is Mrs. Coreena Del'Moor and I am in need of your help."

"Please have a seat, Mrs. Del'Moor and tell me what I can do for you."

Dames in need of help were a particular weakness of mine, and this was no ordinary dame.

I finally had a close look at her face. Her skin was flawless, her ice blue eyes could foster dreams or break hearts equally and her lips promised more uses than just an avenue for words. She was perfection and danger all locked up in a tight package that only the foolhardy would want to unwrap and I was already reaching for the ribbons.

(To be Continued)

frauzet's Avatar


frauzet
10.17.2016 , 11:46 AM | #2
*slips in and takes a seat in a dark corner*
*checks for escape routes*
*fears there are none*
Author of "Trouble, Destiny and Other Complications" and the AU "Caught"
Participant of the "Short Fic Weekly Challlenge Thread!"
All my stories from TDaOC and SFWC in chronological order

Lunafox's Avatar


Lunafox
10.17.2016 , 12:42 PM | #3
Very nice. I can practically hear the gumshoe detective's voice in my head. My immersion in this genre is pretty much restricted to what I saw on Star Trek when Picard was doing the Dixon Hill stories in the holodeck. I've seen bits and pieces of a few old movies, not a lot, but enough to know you've captured it very well.

It's not something I typically seek out, this genre, but when it's so nicely presented and with such tantalizing word usage and descriptions (love the last paragraph especially), I'll tag along for the ride and see where it goes.

Foxfirerose's Avatar


Foxfirerose
10.18.2016 , 01:28 PM | #4
You have my attention

Other than saying "ditto" to Lunafox again I will admit this isn't a story (so far) that would normally pull me in, but knowing who the author is adds quite a bit of motivation to read on. I am starting to realize that the special way you have of describing things just might make anything worth reading

MishaCantu's Avatar


MishaCantu
10.18.2016 , 02:10 PM | #5
Quote: Originally Posted by frauzet View Post
*slips in and takes a seat in a dark corner*
*checks for escape routes*
*fears there are none*
Hope you will enjoy this. I wanted to try something different. Not sure how the format will go, lol. The chapters may end up getting longer and longer, we will just have to see how it plays out.

Quote:
Quote: Originally Posted by Lunafox View Post
Very nice. I can practically hear the gumshoe detective's voice in my head. My immersion in this genre is pretty much restricted to what I saw on Star Trek when Picard was doing the Dixon Hill stories in the holodeck. I've seen bits and pieces of a few old movies, not a lot, but enough to know you've captured it very well.

It's not something I typically seek out, this genre, but when it's so nicely presented and with such tantalizing word usage and descriptions (love the last paragraph especially), I'll tag along for the ride and see where it goes.
Ha, I completely forgot about Dixon Hill. This will probably not be everyone's cup of tea, but glad you are at least giving it a shot to see where I take it. Not so sure about doing first person, it is harder in some ways and easier in others. At least this way I can do a narrative from Deklinn's point of view. He is a lusty, snarky, S.O.B.

Quote:
Quote: Originally Posted by Foxfirerose View Post
You have my attention

Other than saying "ditto" to Lunafox again I will admit this isn't a story (so far) that would normally pull me in, but knowing who the author is adds quite a bit of motivation to read on. I am starting to realize that the special way you have of describing things just might make anything worth reading
Like Luna, at least you are giving it a shot. I hope I can do it justice.

MishaCantu's Avatar


MishaCantu
10.18.2016 , 02:40 PM | #6
Chapter Two

-Usually It Brings Bad News-

I stood for a little longer than I needed to, watching her lower herself into the chair and cross her legs. Her hose whispered slightly as one leg rubbed the other and the outline of her thigh, where it pressed against the fabric of her skirt, fostered thoughts that I just shouldn’t entertain in a professional purview.

“Mind if I smoke?” she asked as I sat down. Her voice was whisky and honey with just a hint of venom thrown in for the bite. I couldn’t quite place her accent but there was something vaguely familiar in the way she pronounced her vowels; too rounded, too dragged out.

“Help yourself,” I replied as I pushed a half full ashtray in her direction.

She knew how to play the room. She could have been a star in one of the Hutt burlesque joints the way she slowly stripped her gloves from her long, tapered fingers. Her plum colored nails clicked lightly against the Aurodium case as she removed a cigarette and looked at me with expectation.

I stood and removed my lighter from my pants pocket and leaned across the desk to oblige, watching her place the cigarette between her lips and draw until the end glowed. She inhaled deeply and pursed her mouth into a perfect O as she exhaled blue, spice scented smoke into the air leaving the imprint of her dark plum lipstick on the other end. This also fostered thoughts I just shouldn’t be having.

I sat down again and leaned forward, placing my elbows on the desk. “Down to business then, shall we, Mrs. Del’Moor? First, your name, any connections to the Del’Moor business conglomerate? Mining, ship building, weapons design and manufacture, the list goes on.”

“I am married to Antois Del’Moor, current heir apparent to the throne, so to speak. His father, Conrad is still very much in control of the reins. But, that has no bearing on why I am here.”

“I remember seeing coverage on the news about four years back, extravagant wedding, reporters had a field day. No wonder I didn’t recognize you, weren’t you blond back then?”

“Antois liked blonds, still does, I decided I liked my natural color better, less upkeep. As I said, Mr. Deklinn, my business has nothing to do with my husband. I had a very important item stolen from me and I want it back. A book, or diary if you wish, it is very important to me. Leather bindings, biometric lock, coded only to me, additional numeric lock for added security.”

I cocked an eyebrow, perhaps being a little condescending. “A girl’s diary, mostly filled with dreams and nonsense, this one must have some secrets that are doozies. So, who took it.”

She frowned a little, likely at my comment. “You know of Lamarr Tritan? He has my book and I want it back, let’s also say I don’t much appreciate blackmail, it never ends and they always want more.”

I sat back, ran my fingers through my hair and emitted a low whistle. Lamarr Tritan, underworld lynchpin, into everything from assassination to street drugs. My normal trade was tracking down cheating husbands or wives, runaway kids or even pets and the occasional go between for Hutts and reliable freighter pilots I knew. I had even traced stolen goods, but nothing like this.

This was way above my paygrade, not to mention my survive-o-meter. My favorite bookie wouldn’t even offer odds for this one. Lamarr Tritan - 10, Markus Deklinn - dead.

(To be Continued)

frauzet's Avatar


frauzet
10.18.2016 , 02:54 PM | #7
50 credits on Deklinn.

(Have I mentioned I love antiheroes? I have a feeling this might be one )
Author of "Trouble, Destiny and Other Complications" and the AU "Caught"
Participant of the "Short Fic Weekly Challlenge Thread!"
All my stories from TDaOC and SFWC in chronological order

Lunafox's Avatar


Lunafox
10.18.2016 , 08:23 PM | #8
The secrets in the diary must be a doozy.

Makes me wonder where they are, and who might be privy to what's in it.

Feldraeth's Avatar


Feldraeth
10.19.2016 , 11:11 AM | #9
*quietly wanders past, looking for something that'll fill the void the False Empire will leave when it ends...*

"Of all the detective agencies on all the worlds in the galaxy, she had to walk into mine."

*Sits down and starts reading*

Great opening line. Yes, it's cheesy, cliche and has been used hundreds of times, but so has the PI genre. there's a reason it's a classic.
Great characterisation, I can already get a feel for the main character and he hasn't said more than ten words about himself.
Interesting setup, starts with the standard, FF walks into an office, and goes from there, though this time what she's after isn't quite as obvious.

If this style's what I missed out, I'm off to go read flip of the coin.

MishaCantu's Avatar


MishaCantu
10.19.2016 , 12:08 PM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by frauzet View Post
50 credits on Deklinn.

(Have I mentioned I love antiheroes? I have a feeling this might be one )
I guess you could say Dek is a bit of an antihero, and he is my main guy, so yeh, I'll take that bet.

Quote:
Quote: Originally Posted by Lunafox View Post
The secrets in the diary must be a doozy.

Makes me wonder where they are, and who might be privy to what's in it.
A doozy? Maybe.

Quote:
Quote: Originally Posted by Feldraeth View Post
*quietly wanders past, looking for something that'll fill the void the False Empire will leave when it ends...*

"Of all the detective agencies on all the worlds in the galaxy, she had to walk into mine."

*Sits down and starts reading*

Great opening line. Yes, it's cheesy, cliche and has been used hundreds of times, but so has the PI genre. there's a reason it's a classic.
Great characterisation, I can already get a feel for the main character and he hasn't said more than ten words about himself.
Interesting setup, starts with the standard, FF walks into an office, and goes from there, though this time what she's after isn't quite as obvious.

If this style's what I missed out, I'm off to go read flip of the coin.
I am also quite taken with False Empire.

I'll have to wait and see if I can get this to all come together the way I want it to. This is something completely new for me and I'm not sure I can pull it off, I sort of know where it's heading, I just hope I have the oomph to get it there.

I have the voice of my main character down pretty well in my head, writing in first person is a bit of a challenge though. Flip of the Coin is completely different, not sure if you will enjoy it, but I always welcome new readers.