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The First Grand Coefficient Changer Pack!

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > General Discussion
The First Grand Coefficient Changer Pack!

UTlNNl's Avatar


UTlNNl
11.18.2015 , 03:07 AM | #1
What's inside the FIRST GRAND COEFFICIENT-CHANGER PACKS, Devs?

In every coefficient changer pack, you get two consumable coefficient-changers.

GREAT! What do they do?

Apply them to your character, and for the next month a random coefficient in the game will be changed for you- ranging from a decrease between .25x to .5x and an increase between 1.5x to 2x. That's right- THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!

That's right! Now you can experience what it's like to be a Bioware coder first-hand! Give one of these babies a click and you've instantly done some professional tweaking of the game itself. No need to test on the PTS, because your values will simply take effect no matter what anyone says either way!

WOW! What could be affected?

This could be applied to anything ranging from
  • Endurance
  • Mastery
  • Your Companion's Defense
  • Spawn-timers on open-world Heroic mobs
  • Dev Response Times on Game-Breaking Issues
  • Frame Rate in Warzones
  • Patch Download Speeds
  • Critical Rating
  • And Even Loot Table Probabilities!

The possibilities are endless.

Unsatisfied with the strength of your companions? One motion of the hand could have your companion making the GSI bots look like scrap metal! Need a challenge? One adroit manipulation of your index finger and now you have an absolutely worthless companion with which you can do only the things you could have done exclusively without having your companion summoned at all.

Think it's outrageous to have to do twenty Warzones to get Major Pierce? Now you could be subjected to sitting in a corner, condemning your team to lose for FORTY WARZONES for your PvE companion. Remember, you have no choice but to do it, and there's no way around it!

Forty character slots per server still not enough? Risk getting double the slots for having 3/4 of your characters being permanently deleted forever*!

This sounds too good to be true. How much does a pack cost?

Well I'm glad you asked. Each pack costs 2000CC (which is actually 40% off of the full price which we arbitrarily generated with one of these very consumables).

BUT WAIT. Every unlock has a small chance of changing the price of the packs themselves! What cost 2000CC before could now cost you 4000CC, with absolutely no warning WHATSOEVER!

Can these be used to change my appearance?

WELL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

With the purchase of a GOLD COEFFICIENT-CHANGER PACK (3000CC) you also receive an RGB-hex changer ON TOP OF THE TWO CONSUMABLE COEFFICIENT-CHANGERS.

RGB-hex changers will randomly select one armor piece (or if you're lucky- a MOUNT), randomly select two RGB values, and apply those values to the primary and secondary color slots of that item. Then, that newly recolored item will be placed in the Cartel Market for you to purchase for 1440CC. You can even unlock this COMPLETELY NEW MOUNT/PIECE OF ARMOR for your account for an additional 600CC**.

---

*But we will probably restore your characters if you just ask nicely. But if you try to do it more than once we will definitely catch you and we will not be happy little campers.

**Price subject to random change independent of player-used coefficient-changers.

---

Bioware is not responsible for the misuse of coefficient-changers for the purposes of, but not limited to: having fun. Any parties found guilty of such misuse will be subject to suspension or account-termination. Bioware always knows what players find fun in video games and any opposition to this fact can simply be proven false with the mere mention of "quantitative data" or "metrics."

Although players may experience the feeling of arbitrarily manifested authority over the content of the game, any and all changes have been thoroughly considered by Bioware and are not subject to further change or revocation.*

*Except by Bioware should they deem fit at any point for any reason.**

**Ever.


The First Grand Coefficient-Changer Pack
THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!

RWScissors's Avatar


RWScissors
11.18.2015 , 03:55 AM | #2
That's hilarious ... but this can't end well.
'Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.'
Mark Twain

AdrianDmitruk's Avatar


AdrianDmitruk
11.18.2015 , 03:58 AM | #3
This is pure credits. I'll take ten hypercrates of these packs! Take mah moniez!
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heythereqt's Avatar


heythereqt
11.18.2015 , 04:00 AM | #4
11/10

Quote: Originally Posted by UTlNNl View Post
Bioware is not responsible for the misuse of coefficient-changers for the purposes of, but not limited to: having fun. Any parties found guilty of such misuse will be subject to suspension or account-termination. Bioware always knows what players find fun in video games and any opposition to this fact can simply be proven false with the mere mention of "quantitative data" or "metrics."
This part was gold.
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PlacidDragon's Avatar


PlacidDragon
11.18.2015 , 04:11 AM | #5
hehe, that was awesome to read
CE & DDE

AlienEyeTX's Avatar


AlienEyeTX
11.18.2015 , 04:17 AM | #6
Thank you. Great entertainment there.

That was just for fun, right?

Right?

You like free stuff, right? Click on this referral link to get yours. I'll get a little something, too. Welcome home. #freethelekku

Bachannal's Avatar


Bachannal
11.18.2015 , 04:21 AM | #7
Cheers!

Trythios's Avatar


Trythios
11.18.2015 , 04:21 AM | #8
Hah, awesome read

Now.. if only I wasn't scared to death that it could eventually become reality..
Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Ferretfur's Avatar


Ferretfur
11.18.2015 , 04:28 AM | #9
Very funny satire.
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AlrikFassbauer's Avatar


AlrikFassbauer
11.18.2015 , 05:43 AM | #10
Excellent.
Complex minds
will create
Complex problems.