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Serious question for serious gamers...

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content
Serious question for serious gamers...

Olinore's Avatar


Olinore
12.23.2011 , 11:00 AM | #21
I'd say look at this from two angles:

- Gaming side:

Does she game at all? If not, I think this game is a good introduction. It is easy to get the hang of, the stories are compelling, and everyone knows at least a little bit about Star Wars. If she isn't familiar with it, though, don't make fun of -her-!

Watch the original trilogy with her to set the mood (have a movie night together, cuddling on the sofa), then tell her about what you enjoy about this game: do you like the social aspect of working with friends to achieve goals? Are you interested in the stories? Do you enjoy the competition of PVP? Show her why -you- like the game.

Then, the next step would be to try to involve her, so you can share this activity (not necessarily always playing together, but some of the time):

Try to figure out what might interest her: is she creative/a reader? She might enjoy roleplaying in game. Is she goal-oriented? She might enjoy PVE raiding. Does she like the thrill of competition? Maybe PVP would be interesting for her.

This could become a fun activity that you guys enjoy together!


- Relationship side:

Make sure to show her that she is a priority for you. I.e. playing on your own time is fine, but if your girlfriend comes over and you ignore her all night to play your game... it might be time to look at how much you value your relationship.

If she really has zero interest in gaming, you might want to have a "me" night for the both of you. I.e. a weekly night where she goes out with her friends, and you play or do whatever else interests you. And be sure to also plan "just the two of you" nights too!


Who knows, your girlfriend might end up loving this game too, and this shared activity could strengthen your relationship. Present it like that to your girlfriend, and she is likely going to be happy that you want to involve her. Heck, I tried my first MMORPG a few years ago so I could play with my videogame-obsessed ex (of course he ended up hating WoW and MMORPGs in general because you had to interact with people *mock shudder*... but that's another story LOL His loss, my gain, I love MMORPGs now!).

If she does end up starting up gaming for you, maybe you can also join in an interest of hers as well (Is she a movie nerd? Go with her to see that foreign movie she wants, and give it an honest try before thinking you'll hate it. Does she love going to clubs? Try hitting the dance floor with her once in a while - you might have fun!)

Best of luck!

P.S. If she never gamed before, starting from scratch can be intimidating, so be sure to be supportive/helpful, and not to make fun of her for being a newbie. She'll be impressed by your kindness/support -and- she will improve as a gamer, so that is a win-win for you!

dreadpirateandy's Avatar


dreadpirateandy
12.23.2011 , 11:09 AM | #22
Never turn a non-gamer girl into gamer girl.

At the very least, I guarantee that a lot of your guildies who you call friends will be hitting on her in PMs. Hitting on her, sexually explicit messages, sending pics of their junk if they have her phone number, white knighting her whenever you and her have an argument, trying to break you guys up so they can move in, etc.

Plus, she'll realize that she can have any gamer guy she wants. All she has to do is show him a little bit of attention and he'll think she's in love with him. The second you guys have an argument is the second she flirts with a new gamer friend and if they haven't started moving in already, that will kick it off.

Olinore's Avatar


Olinore
12.23.2011 , 11:33 AM | #23
About the "junk pictures" and all... (that made me laugh xD) You might want to have a "stranger danger" conversation with your girl, and remind her not to share real world details online (real name, phone number, birth date, any identifying info, etc.). Both to avoid identity theft and enterprising males. *chuckles* Creating a gaming email other than her regular one might be an idea too, if need be (though honestly, there is no real need to share contact info with strangers in an MMO in the first place: PMs, in-game mail and guild forums do the job).

Everilda's Avatar


Everilda
12.23.2011 , 11:52 AM | #24
As a girl and a now gaming wife of a gamer:

Find the dork in her. It might be burried deep inside and it may be small (resist that's what she said joke, I must resist...).

One night after talking to my, at the time boyfriend about our childhoods I was telling him how my favorite games were, in a sense- role playing games. Barbies, house, school, etc. Things started building and before we knew it I discovered the role player that was always hiding inside.

If your GF is the same way- appeal to that. Work with her girliness. Not against it. Don't come off too desperate to have her play. It might take a while. Take it slow. Would she like to think of a character- ok, it sounds cheesey- but write a short story together. Get those roleplaying juices flowing.

Don't have in your head "guys play, girls don't" - cause that will be a big hurdle that doesn't need to be there.

Also- she may feel like your play time is valuable time away from her and she may feel she has to compete (which is ridiculous, but hey sometimes girls are silly like that). Be consistent in showing her you value her time. Listen to her when she speaks. That's a long process in itself- but once she gets more comfortable in understanding and realizing that you value her opinions, thoughts, etc she may be more willing to loosen the reigns.

Just my 2 cents- good luck!

lickthesofa's Avatar


lickthesofa
12.23.2011 , 11:53 AM | #25
You obviously need to dump her.

Smacking her darkside with your lightsaber also seemed like a good idea.

CommanderChronos's Avatar


CommanderChronos
12.23.2011 , 11:58 AM | #26
Quote: Originally Posted by Torothin View Post
How do I get my girlfriend to not make fun of me for playing SWTOR and is it possible to get her to play as well? How? Discuss!

This is tricky... honestly, if the girl is not already a fan, then I dont know what to do. If she does not approve just use her till you get your fill, then dump her and find a girl that shares your intrest...

But if you insist that she is.. "special" then be a *********** man, and set that girl straight, put down your foot and say "look here *****, this is what I do, if you dont like it then ****"
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Torothin's Avatar


Torothin
12.23.2011 , 12:12 PM | #27
Quote: Originally Posted by dreadpirateandy View Post
Never turn a non-gamer girl into gamer girl.

At the very least, I guarantee that a lot of your guildies who you call friends will be hitting on her in PMs. Hitting on her, sexually explicit messages, sending pics of their junk if they have her phone number, white knighting her whenever you and her have an argument, trying to break you guys up so they can move in, etc.

Plus, she'll realize that she can have any gamer guy she wants. All she has to do is show him a little bit of attention and he'll think she's in love with him. The second you guys have an argument is the second she flirts with a new gamer friend and if they haven't started moving in already, that will kick it off.


I am not scared of her being lured away by "internet friends". Nor am I worried about anyone else luring her away in real life. Thanks. She lives 40 minutes away so we only spend 1 night a week together no gaming when that happens of course. It would be great to have a girl who I am attracted to that loves to game. So far, that hasn't happened.

Everilda's Avatar


Everilda
12.23.2011 , 12:50 PM | #28
Quote: Originally Posted by Torothin View Post
I am not scared of her being lured away by "internet friends". Nor am I worried about anyone else luring her away in real life. Thanks. She lives 40 minutes away so we only spend 1 night a week together no gaming when that happens of course. It would be great to have a girl who I am attracted to that loves to game. So far, that hasn't happened.
Good for you.
I've been role playing with a bunch of guys every week for years and play mmos.
Haven't been hit on once. And if I were- well my husband knows there's nothing to worry about.

MillieTheStick's Avatar


MillieTheStick
12.23.2011 , 01:48 PM | #29
If she lives far away, you can plug it as a way to spend time together when you can't see each other face to face.

If you're not prepared to spend inane amounts of time with her when she's online though, you may want to start her off with some Mario. :P

Sakon's Avatar


Sakon
12.23.2011 , 02:52 PM | #30
Nothing I can add as far as ideas, alot of good ones from the community for you here. One thing i will stress, is as a gamer, most guys have a tenancy to push everything else but the game aside. We don't do it maliciously, or even on purpose most of the time. It's just like any other activity we enjoy, we prioritize it first and foremost. If she's worth the effort of trying to get her to game with you, also make sure your making the effort to keep her at the top of the priority list.
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