Essence_of_Light Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) Rules of a PvP Pro! By: Essence_of_Light Rule #1: As a pro it is your job to call your teammates chumps, idiots, losers, or retarded so they know you're top dog. Rule #2: If you're not playing the FoTM you're not a true pro. Rule #3: Always ignore the team plan. If you follow the plan then you're on a guaranteed road to failure. Rule #4: Ignore calls of enemy forces incoming. It is a lie, you're teammate is trying to lure you over there so you are stuck on guard duty! Rule #5: If you lose, it is because your teammates suck at the game; make sure to yell at them to remind them of that Rule #6: Brag about your score; it'll make your teammates strive so one day they may be worthy to gaze upon your amazingness Rule #7: If you happen to be guarding make sure to fight far away from the nodes to make sure enemies have no chance of getting close to it Rule #8: You died? It is your team's fault. They didn't make sure to protect you as a #1 priority. Rule #9: As a pro, it is not your job to be guarding the node. Leave it so you can get back to the main battle! Rule #10: Did you lose a 1v1? Don't fret, it was because they were hacking. Make sure to report them for that! Rule #11: As a pro it is your job to report everyone on your team if they cause you to lose; such bads should be banned 4 lyfe! Rule #12: As a pro, never call incoming. It is not your job to stoop so low as calling for help to your "teammates"; it'll make you look weak! These rules were confirmed by the official P.R.E.M.A.D.E.S (Pros Ruling Everyone Making Absurdly Desperate Endeavors-to Succeed) and written by a player of a Smash Marauder and MM Sniper! Note: This thread was based off of 2 things: Real occurrences when these so called "pros" did one of these 12 things, and xAraen's thread of The 10 Rules of Marauders. Edited January 7, 2014 by Essence_of_Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycao Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You have almost described your average player to the letter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cashogy_reborn Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You have almost described your average player to the letter. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasterFeign Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 This now needs to be a youtube video but retitled to "12 rules of pvp bros" with an over the top maucho-istic "bro" wearing proper attire and "keepin' it real" of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azzataky Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Rule #8: You died? It is your team's fault. They didn't make sure to protect you as a #1 priority. LOL at this. I just was in warzone where one healer (Dupernallen his nickname)died at mid, said we sux we are going to lose because noone is defending him and we should be helping him. So he and his tank friend (yes he had a tank who guarded him and still whined that he wasn't defended) just went to sit on one node to the end of the match. And was only saying its useless we sux, no teamplay etc. Awesome people like that on repulic ToFN side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essence_of_Light Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 LOL at this. I just was in warzone where one healer (Dupernallen his nickname)died at mid, said we sux we are going to lose because noone is defending him and we should be helping him. So he and his tank friend (yes he had a tank who guarded him and still whined that he wasn't defended) just went to sit on one node to the end of the match. And was only saying its useless we sux, no teamplay etc. Awesome people like that on repulic ToFN side. What a coincidence.... or was it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azzataky Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 What a coincidence.... or was it... No it wasn't cause your post perfectly sums up "pros" in warzones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SVTCarnage Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Finally someone got the rules right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodrin Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You have almost described your average player to the letter. And in every MMO I've ever played with the possible exception of ultima online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neoforcer Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 As a pro i am to busy fighting to win to talk in ops chat other then calling inc. Only One rule Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUXs Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Awesome list!!! I play with quite a few "pros"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sithBracer Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Lets not forget #13: Always go off node, especially if not a stealth class. It doesn't matter that they can see me and call for help, I can deal with 50 of them. So what if I get killed 10 times in hypergates and waste a huge amount of time running in nova, I distracted them by giving them a good laugh as I slowly trudged to their side and started capping. I was half a second away from finishing the cap before their lucky stealther mezzed me and I was jumped by a marauder, meh they were a noob team, no real team leaves a stealther to guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essence_of_Light Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Awesome list!!! I play with quite a few "pros"... Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckeyduckey Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Rule 10 should be removed. Pros never lose 1v1s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Essence_of_Light Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) Rule 10 should be removed. Pros never lose 1v1s. You aren't too bright, are you? Edited January 7, 2014 by Essence_of_Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisweaver Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Rules of a PvP Pro! By: Essence_of_Light Rule #4: Ignore calls of enemy forces incoming. It is a lie, you're teammate is trying to lure you over there so you are stuck on guard duty! Hahahah I have done this once or twice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidichIorian Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Rule 7 would never happen to a real pro for the simple reason that a pro won't get stuck on guard. Nor will a pro help out for 1 inc. If someone calls inc for one person they shouldnt be guarding in the first place and one enemy is not worth the time it takes to get there, it cuts deep into dps and you need a couple more enemies for a proper smash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zunayson Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Rule 7 would never happen to a real pro for the simple reason that a pro won't get stuck on guard. Nor will a pro help out for 1 inc. If someone calls inc for one person they shouldnt be guarding in the first place and one enemy is not worth the time it takes to get there, it cuts deep into dps and you need a couple more enemies for a proper smash. Calling inc for 1 person is okay. Helping for one person may or not be. I always tell my guildies to be ready to send one just in case it gets bad, 'cause you never know. If you don't call incs at least for the sake of communication, ur doign it rong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vodrin Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Calling inc for 1 person is okay. Helping for one person may or not be. I always tell my guildies to be ready to send one just in case it gets bad, 'cause you never know. If you don't call incs at least for the sake of communication, ur doign it rong Your post is far too serious and helpful to belong in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iDraxter Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 As a pro i am to busy fighting to win to talk in ops chat other then calling inc. Only One rule Ya but u forgot to check ur map and notice 5 ppl teammates running to cap ur home pylon! best part? none remain to defend it always best openner on hypergates:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckeyduckey Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You aren't too bright, are you? Majority of "pros" like this are actually pretty decent in 1v1s, if we're assuming the 1337ist group. Funny read, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobyDigital Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 wow finnaly someone that gets it thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidichIorian Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) If you don't call incs at least for the sake of communication, ur doign it rongPffffft, that's not pro. A pro will not call it, duel and then post the video on YT. Like a true Kun. Edited January 7, 2014 by MidichIorian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayakin_Solaris Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Although I certainly wouldn't consider myself a pro, I do seem to have still followed rule #1 on several occasions . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jardars Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Aww poopie, I'm a brand new player, and was hoping this thread would make me pro... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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