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The Inquisitor's Apprentice

Naweth's Avatar

01.01.2014 , 11:45 PM | #31
Thank you all for continuing to read! We’ve broken 2,000 views and are climbing! HK, would you like to say anything?
Gratuitous Statement: This unit wants to extend thanks to the Meatbag Readers who continue to read of my exploits. Know that, should the time come, I will end your existence in the most painless way possible. Ominous Assurance: For those who refuse to read… I am coming for you! Assassination protocols engaged. Weapons free!

Chapter Five: Stealth Gone Wrong

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities against this unit at once!
Ignite coughed and sent a few stray blaster bolts into the ground before catching a gout of lightning with his saber. “HK! Help!”
Directive: The Pipsqueak will liquidate the Meatbags with extreme prejudice!
“Pipsy fix!”
Alarming Cry: AUGHH! Remove the arc-tech screwdriver! Remove the arc-tech screwdriver! MEDIC!
“Someone call for a Medic?!” Doc’s voice hollered through the smoke. “Have no fear! Doc is here!”
“Get down, you idiot!” Kaliyo shouted.
“I will kill you, Ignite! It’s time to put you down for dishonoring the Sith traditions!” Thanaton promised.
“Pipsy! Go fix nice droid!” Ignite roared as the lightning increased in intensity. The Sith channeled his newfound power and retaliated with his own, pushing against Thanaton.
“Pipsy fix nice droid!” Pipsy promised. HK stood shakily and readied his blaster, his photoreceptors shining in the smoke.
Amazed Assessment: All of my functions are at peak efficiency, Master.
Offended Counter: You don’t have to shout, Master. I am programmed with the most advanced hear—
“Bad time, HK!”
The droid shrugged and fired several shots into the smoke. Statement: Assassination protocols activated!
“Well that’s not good,” Waresh muttered, ducking under the incoming fire and glaring at his Jedi companion who calmly deflected a few bolts. “Aren’t you supposed to be, you know, helping?”
“What would you have me do?” Putridous glanced down at the Hunter. “Charging into the fray with emotion is not the Jedi way.”
“I don’t give two banthas about the Jedi way!” Waresh pointed at the Jedi. “Bring that Sith Lord down!”
“As you wish,” Putridous vanished into the fog; all that could be seen was a blue lightsaber casually deflecting the influx of blaster bolts.
Warning: Master, the imposter Meatbag is approaching.
“The Jedi?” Ignite grunted, his control over the lightning fading fast.
Affirmation: Yes, Master.
“Can’t you stop him?”
Indignant Response: Of course, Master!
Ignite managed to throw a deadpan look in HK’s direction.
The droid stiffened and, without looking, pressed a button on his arm; off shot his hand through the fog.
“I can’t see a freaking thing in this smoke!” Sneaks hissed to Kaliyo, the Agent having taken cover the moment the fighting started.
“That’s good for us though, right?” Kaliyo questioned lightly, kneeling beside the Rattataki.
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Doc crossed his arms. “Ole Doc will-ulp!”
Proud Declaration: I have him, Master!
“Then why is the blue light getting closer?!” Ignite ceased his lightning and rolled out of the way, the ground exploding in a shower of dirt and fire behind him.
Retort: Because this unit is reeling him in, Master! HK paused as his hand returned with Doc attached. Astonished Observation: This is not the imposter Meatbag, Master.
The blue light swung in HK’s direction, halting as it realized Doc was currently being used as a meat shield.
“Release the prisoner, droid,” Putridous requested sagely.
Threat: The imposter Meatbag Jedi will cease hostilities against this unit or the idiot Meatbag shall be liquidated with extreme prejudice!
“If you liquidate him, what will stop me from destroying you?”
Intrigued Reply: This unit is impressed with the ruthlessness displayed, imposter Meatbag Jedi. However my scans of your bodily fluids show that you are lying.
“That just sounds bad,” Waresh shook his head across the battlefield.
“Or perhaps I can control my—ah—bodily fluids to convince you otherwise?”
Defensive Statement: This unit does not like the imposter Meatbag Jedi’s logic.
“Can I say something?” Doc wheezed.
Response: No.
“I’m kinda loking,” Doc struggled.
Baffled Reply: Of course you are choking, idiot Meatbag! I have you by the throat!
“I’m afraid I must intervene,” Putridous sighed.
Ignite caught the Jedi’s lightsaber with his own. “Don’t touch my droid!”
“You would be so much better serving the light,” Putrioud shoved against the Sith, both rolling out of the way as Thanaton sent more lightning into the smoke.
“Don’t try and turn me, fool,” Ignite spat. “I am not so weak-minded.”
“Peace is not weak,” Putridous countered.
“Denial of your emotions is.”
“He’s got you there,” Thanaton admitted from afar.
“Last chance, Sith,” Putridous informed almost pleadingly. “Surrender peacefully.”
Ignite held his arms out boastfully. “So far none of you have managed to stop me, Jedi. Until you do I’m not going to do any—oomph!”
A hulking form crashed into Ignite, sending him sprawling away. Putridous sighed aloud when he saw another red lightsaber appear in the smoke. “I’m done,” he casually deactivated his own lightsaber and strolled in the direction of Waresh, patting the Hunter on the shoulder.
“Have fun killing yourselves, Sith,” he called. Waresh watched him depart and cursed silently before deciding retreat was a good option; he’d had enough of Sith for one day.
“Now would be a good time to get out of here,” Kaliyo hissed to Sneaks.
“Why would we do that?” The Agent questioned with a raised eyebrow. “It’s just starting to get good!”
“Because Doc is gone!”
Sneaks blinked. “Noted.”
“Who the?!” Ignite jumped back to his feet in time to intercept a lightsaber strike that drove him to his knees.
“You dare threaten our Emperor?” A voice demanded.
“Wha-?” Ignite rolled when he sensed incoming lightning. The other Sith was not so lucky and went tumbling away. “HK! We’re leaving!”
Complication: Master, this unit cannot release the idiot Meatbag.
“Then bring him along for torture.”
Gleeful Reply: With pleasure, Master.
“Pipsy!” Ignite shouted. “HK! Get Andro down here stat!”
Statement: The Master demands you retrieve us, Meatbag.
“Yeah I heard,” Andronikus replied from his comlink. “How’d you like your backup?”
Horrified Admission: The Pipsqueak nearly gutted me on the field!
HK paused mid-stride.
Emphatic Statement: It is NOT funny, Meatbag! Assurance: If you were not on my Meatbag Protection List I would liquidate you with extreme prejudice!
“Let’s go, HK!” Ignite hoisted Pipsy over his shoulder along with two-vee’s chassis. “Grab the rest of the inferior model.”
“Pipsy fix!”
“I see that,” Ignite forced a smile, looking to the sky nervously; the smoke was beginning to clear.
Complaint: Master, the Meatbag will not stop laughing at my plight!
“Well it is kind of funny, HK.”
Indignant Baffled Retort: This unit would like to remind the Master that there are still two hostiles waiting to liquidate us on the field of battle! Furthermore I am most displeased to see you taking the side of the Meatbag! Also I would like to file a formal complaint against the sickening display of affection the Pipsqueak is currently receiving.
Ignite raised an eyebrow. “Need I remind you you’re still holding the idiot Meatbag?”
Sarcastic Reply: Master I want to extent my thanks for you noting such a minute detail. I pray that your processors did not strain too harshly to compute such a thing.
The Fury blared overhead and Ignite boarded the descending ramp, HK in tow. “Really, HK, I don’t see what the issue is with Andro having a laugh at your expense.”
Wrathful Reply: I am the pinnacle achievement of the Hunter Killer model, Master! I will not be demeaned by a Meatbag!
Ignite looked his droid over. “Ah,” he chuckled, reaching forward and removing the arc-tech screwdriver. “That would explain it.”
Assurance: I will liquidate that Pipsqueak.
“Mean droid be nice to Pipsy! Pipsy fix!”
Thanaton watched his prey disappear into the sky and tapped his chin as he listened to the droid and, he assumed a Jawa, argue. Judging by the conversation of the Sith Lord and his companions he had little to fear from them. He shrugged and walked away, not paying the slightest attention to the fact that there had been another Sith in the chaos.

Not one minute after Thanaton departed another Jedi burst onto the scene, Kira Carsen in tow. He took one look at the battlefield and noted a hulking man staggering to his feet; and the red lightsaber he wielded. Both Jedi ignited their own sabers and waited.
Naweth shook his head. “Gotta learn to dodge that stuff,” he grunted, looking around. “Vette?”
“Sith,” Elwind called. “Where is Doc?”
“Where is Vette?” The Sith retaliated. “If you killed her I will annihilate you.”
Elwind paused. “Jedi?”
“Oh, right.”
“I don’t think this guy killed Doc,” Kira whispered.
“Who is this Vette?” Elwind questioned, eager to avoid a fight if necessary.
“She was with me when I intercepted Ignite,” Naweth looked around. “He appears to have fled the scene. I’m assuming Doc was the man the droid had by the throat.”
“What?!” Kira cried.
“Was he dead?” Elwind asked hopefully.
“Oh, right,” Elwind cleared his throat. “That is dire news indeed.”
Naweth cocked his head to the side. “Yeah…So…”
“Do we—uh—fight?” Elwind looked at his lightsabers.
“Can I get a rain check? I kinda have to recover my Twi’lek.”
“Well this is a first,” Kira snorted.
“You’re not very Sithy,” Elwind admitted.
“And you’re not very Jediey,” Naweth countered.
“Both of you are idiots,” another voice scoffed. “Had I not seen you in my visions I would slaughter you where you stand.”
The three stiffened as a pureblood Sith strolled out in full battle armor, his own lightsaber shining crimson red. “I am Lord Scourge, also known as the Emperor’s Wrath. It seems that you two have saved me the trouble of tracking you down.”
“I’m just here to stop the Emperor’s assassination and retrieve my Twi’lek,” Naweth shrugged.
“And I’m just here to get the galaxy’s greatest idiot,” Elwind informed. “Was going to assassinate the Emperor, but that plan is kinda busted wide open now.”
“Then it seems we have a common goal,” Scourge deactivated his lightsaber.
Elwind, Naweth and Kira all responded simultaneously. “We do?”

“Never knew a screwdriver could alter your personality so much, HK,” Ignite chuckled as he spun it around. “Pipsy, fix HK’s hand so the prisoner can breathe.”
“Pipsy fix!”
HK felt the Jawa open his thigh panel and would have shivered if he could. Horrified Declaration: I never want to go through that again, Master.
“I believe it,” Ignite nodded. “Feeling better?”
HK released Doc, finally. Statement: Yes, Master. This unit acknowledges that the Pipsqueak actually fixed something.
“Pipsy fix man now!”
Amused Admittance: Master, the Pipsqueak could inflict far greater horrors on this Meatbag than I.
“That’s something to consider,” Ignite rubbed his chin. “Khem, can you take our friend here to the brig?”
“We don’t have a brig, Master,” Khem rumbled.
Ignite’s eyes widened. “We don’t? Well fudge. Put him in the airlock for now then. That’ll get his attention.”
Hopeful Query: Can I vent him into space, Master?
“Not yet, HK,” Ignite chuckled before he eyed Pipsy. “Actually. Better just strap him down to a table in the medbay, Khem. Pipsy may accidentally vent him into space.”
“Pipsy fix!”
HK stiffened. Warning: Master, I detect an unidentified organic Meatbag pilfering your belongings. Namely your underwear drawer.
Ignite looked down at Pipsy who waved shyly. He noted Khem failing to strap Doc down and leaned back to see Andronikus currently piloting the ship.
“That’s impossible,” Ignite scoffed. “You sure it’s not Kallig?”
The ghost appeared. “Flesh of my flesh, you are alive!”
“Well that’s not good,” Ignite muttered. “Activate assassination protocols, HK.”
Assurance: They are always active, Master.
“If it’s Thanaton, shoot first and ask questions later.”
Acquiescence: As you command, Master.
“Andro, you got Pipsy!”
“I can’t fly and Jawa-sit!”
“Khem you’ve got Pipsy-duty!” Ignite looked down at Pipsy. “Go help Khem, Pipsy.”
The Jawa headed over to the Dashade after a thumbs up.
“Where to, Kallig?”
“Taris, flesh of my flesh.”
“Taris, Andro!”
“Roger that.”
“Now let’s go see who’s raiding my underwear drawer,” Ignite shuddered.

Naweth's Avatar

12.31.2015 , 07:53 PM | #32
*Brushes off dust*
So I know it's been a long time... Like 3+ years long... You see I've been wanting to continue for awhile now but couldn't remember exactly where I was going and really didn't have a good starting point to continue/pick up from. Then, about ten minutes ago, an epiphany hit me so hard I actually said, "Aha!" aloud. I have realized how to reconcile everything written and continue in a new direction simultaneously.
So without further ado, I invite you, once more, to enjoy the world of Ignite, HK-51, and Pipsy (along with others).

Also, before you continue: SPOILERS for, like, everything ever in SWTOR.
Does that cover it?
I certainly hope so.

Chapter Six: The Ultimate Hangover

How interesting this is... A voice mused in the darkness. Such a development not even I foresaw.
Ignite groaned and struggled to stand, barely managing to open his eyes and wincing against the bright bluish light that assaulted him.
"My head." He grasped at his head, surprised when his hand passed through what should have been his forehead. The haze was gone in an instant, and Ignite snapped to attention at the surprise of finding himself a ghost. "How?" He questioned aloud.
Such an interesting dream. The voice, male and deep, reverberated in his ethereal skull. I must say you have a vivid imagination.
Ignite blinked. "Yeah?"
What do you remember, I wonder?
"Escaping Thanaton's clutches?" Ignite shrugged. "And someone raiding my..." He trailed off. "Ah."
It would seem the carbonite poisoning has addled your mind. Frankly I am not surprised.
An image flashed across Ignite's mind, one of Emperor Valkorion getting sabered in the spine. "How did you miss your son stabbing you in the spine, again?"
The voice seemed to bristle. It was meant to be. So that we may be complete.
"Gross." Ignite blanched. "How do I get out of here? And what did you mean by carbonite poisoning?"
Those questions will be answered in due time. Valkorion assured. For now I suggest you press onwards and face many trails of dubious origin.
"Is there a potential for death?"
Yes. Of course.
"Yeah." Ignite shook his ethereal head fervently. "Nope. Not doing it."
Need I remind you, you are already dying?
"And I need to expedite the process why?"
Your point is not lost on me. I must insist you press on.
"Negative," Ignite sat down and folded his arms. "I'll wait."
Valkorion was clearly vexed, and his voice bounced around Ignite's skull. I spent a lot of time setting these up. To test your will to survive.
"See therein lies the problem," Ignite lifted his head and spoke to the darkened fake sky above. "Every time I follow up on something like this bad things happen. I'm just going to sit this one out and wait. You watch. I'll get out of this somehow."
You're frozen in carbonite. Valkorion deadpanned.
"Somehow!" Ignite insisted stubbornly.
There was a rumble and the sky shattered like glass, the shards falling down about the Twi'lek who began to laugh. "Oh-ho! Ominous!" He taunted aloud. There was a groaning noise and then Ignite's ethereal form vanished, along with the dream world he inhabited.
Stale, hot, air mixed with a copious amount of steam assaulted the Twi'lek's face and a great hissing noise nearly split his eardrums. Ignite attempted to cry out and instead vomited up an odd fluid, he assumed part of the carbonite freezing process.
The Twi'lek attempted to stand and found his muscles refusing to respond to even the basest of commands. The once mighty Darth Nox lay splayed on the cold metal grating, incapacitated.
Exuberant Statement: I have at last found you, Master! Reprimand: How dare you send me off with those worthless coward Meatbags? This unit expects more from you, Master!
"HK?" Ignite blinked, seeing nothing but blobs and darkness. "I can't see."
Reply: Obviously, Master. You have been frozen for five years and are currently suffering from carbonite poisoning. This unit finds it extremely hard to believe you are still sloshing, Master.
Ignite cracked a small smile. He'd missed HK more than he'd ever care to admit. Something the droid said nagged at him until it hit him like a crashing wave. "FIVE years?!"
"Really," a feminine voice sighed. "He is under a great deal of duress. Now is not the time for such conversations."
HK remained stoic, his red photoreceptors unblinking as they bored holes in the one currently speaking.
"My Lord," the feminine voice spoke softly. "I am going to administer an antidote for your carbonite poisoning."
"Ah, great--" Ignite began.
"It's going to hurt," the voice interrupted. "A lot."
"Ah, no..." Ignite sighed.
Threat: The Lady Sith Meatbag will not hurt the Master, or face extreme liquidation.
"If I don't administer the antidote he will die!" The voice retorted in agitation.
Query: And if the Master dies of pain?
"He's already dying!" The voice practically shrieked.
"Oh, Lana," Ignite finally remembered the voice, his memory still very hazy. "It'll be okay, HK."
"Finally a voice of reason," Lana sighed in relief, jabbing the syringe into the Twi'lek and shooting the contents into his aching body. Ignite began with a low groan and ended with a high-pitched scream.
Observation: Master, it would seem the carbonite poisoning has allowed you to reach a new octave.
"Is this droid always this daft?" Lana muttered to Ignite as she helped lift the sweating Twi'lek to his feet. Ignite managed to stand shakily and felt a cold metallic hand wrap around his body, supporting him.
"Thanks HK," Ignite sighed in relief. He turned to the direction of Lana, not realizing he was facing the opposite way. "HK is unique," he assured. "I wouldn't change anything about him."
Boast: I am the pinnacle achievement of droids. Perfection. Nothing can breach my chassis."
"Really? I know something that can breath you quite quickly," a voice Ignite knew all-too-well assured the droid. Ignite gasped in horror and, to his shame, clung to HK-51 like the last lifeline he had. If the voice belonged to whom he suspected, the droid may very well be his only lifeline.
Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities against this unit at once, or face liquidation. I will use you as a battering ram for the next door should you refuse.
"Honestly, Apprentice," the voice of Darth Zash sighed in annoyance. "Why you keep this droid is beyond me."
"Zash?" Ignite croaked. "How?"
"Don't you remember?" Zash questioned from the body of Pipsy. "Your Dashade threw this creature between you and I during my ritual. Now I am trapped in her, sharing this body with such a lowly creature."
"But the Rakata artifact--" Ignite began.
"Delusion," Zash waved it off. "As if I could be contained."
Intrigued Reply: We have not tried the Imprisoned One, Master. Should we relocate your ship we could free the Pispqueak of the Old Hag Meatbag. Though this unit does not see the merits in such a decision.
Ignite shook his head in confusion, his vision slowly began to clear itself and he sighed in relief as the pain subsided as the antidote took hold. "We'll have to figure out this madness later." He assured the group. "Clearly my dreams were more reality than I thought."
"Quite," Zash-Pipsy nodded. "Now then, Apprentice, let us remove ourselves from this rather fascinating prison."
"I couldn't agree more," Lana said serenely, touching her com-link. "Koth, we have the asset. Are you ready?"
"Three minutes!"
Lana rolled her eyes. "We need to make our way to the landing platform."
"I suppose I will let the creature take over once more," Zash-Pipsy sighed, closing her yellow eyes. The Jawa shuddered briefly and suddenly exploded into motion.
"Boss!" Pipsy rushed forward and latched onto Ignite's leg, squeezing for all she was worth. "Pipsy so happy you alive! Pipsy be good! Very very good! Share body with mean lady! Keep mean droid company!"
Indignant Retort: You did no such thing, Pipsqueak! As if this unit needed your company! I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself!
"Pipsy get doors open, boss!" The Jawa assured. "Make sure boss goes to ship! Fly away! Very very good!"
HK-51 started forward, half dragging half-carrying Ignite along. Pipsy turned to go and paused, staring at HK for a moment.
"Droid still walk funny!"
HK stiffened. Rebuttal: I do not walk funny, Pipsqueak.
"Pipsy fix when back on ship! Make sure mean droid walk like pretty droid!"
Exasperation: It is a predatory gait!
Ignite chuckled, despite the pain he felt at the laughter exiting his body. "I've missed this," he admitted.
"The galaxy needs you now more than ever," Lana Beniko whispered. "Are you up to the challenge?"
Ignite shrugged, wincing as he did, "I suppose that depends," he replied.
"On what?"
"On how quickly we can find my Dashade."
"That is most certainly a story for another time," Lana blanched, knowing full well the horrors Khem Val had inflicted on the galaxy upon learning of his Master's supposed death.
Assurance: Not to worry, Master. We will find the Hulking Meatbag and liquidate many Meatbags.
"That we will, HK," Ignite nodded. "That we will."
Question: Master, may I liquidate the Pipsqueak now?
"No," Ignite stated flatly. "No liquidating Jawa's."
Weary Acquiescence: Yes, Master.
"I suppose you're quite a bit ahead of me on our game, eh, HK?" Ignite attempted to raise the droid's spirits.
HK's red photo-receptors gleamed with glee. Gloating: Why, yes, Master, I am! This unit has surpassed over 50,000 kills! 51,522 to be exact! You have a lot of liquidating to do to catch up!
"That's quite a number, HK," Ignite grinned. "But don't expect to keep the lead very long."
Assurance: I will do my best to keep you pleased, Master.
Ignite found himself relieved the droid could still be easily distracted; and even more relieved that his personality had not suffered in the slightest during his absence. Pipsy-Zash worried the Twi'lek, but the two seemed to have an almost symbiotic relationship which Ignite figured was the best he could hope for considering the situation. The door ahead popped open and Pipsy rounded the corner with an excited wave.
"Now the real challenge begins," Lana quietly informed the Twi'lek. "Can you stand, my Lord?"
Ignite pushed off HK, wobbled, and stood of his own volition. "Yes," he grunted.
Lana pushed something into his hand; it was cold and hard, but the Sith could never forget the feeling. He caressed his lightsaber briefly before igniting it, it's red-black blade humming. Lana nodded in approval. Pipsy clapped. HK stared ahead, his blaster in hand.
"Let's do this," Ignite smirked.

Lunafox's Avatar

12.31.2015 , 11:16 PM | #33
It's great to see you continue. Love the story, the humour and the twists are great. Loved seeing Pipsy-Zash lol. Not all the way through yet, got about 3/4's of the way through so far, but I just wanted you to know I look forward to seeing more of Pipsy, HK, Ignite and the gang.

RikeG's Avatar

01.01.2016 , 12:32 PM | #34
I'm glad that you continue this story. I was chuckling all the time while reading it.

Naweth's Avatar

01.03.2016 , 10:29 PM | #35
Just realized that forum posts are time-stamped... Hmm... So it's been 2 years since my last post. I'd edit the above post but I find that it illuminates my silliness
Continuing the story!

Ignite took a single step forward and an alarm began to blare; he paused and turned his head to the side in confusion. Lana jumped and frowned; HK remained unfazed.
"What in the Force happened?" Lana questioned.
Explanation: The Pipsqueak has failed in her directive to open the doors for the Master.
"But the door is open," Lana pointed. "No alarm went off."
"Pipsy fix!" The Jawa bolted.
Lana moved to stop the little creature but Ignite stopped her with an outstretched hand.
"My Lord?"
"Trust me," he inclined his head in Pipsy's direction. "That Jawa will have that alarm disabled faster than you can say stop."
There was a clang and the alarm grew in both volume and intensity.
Bemused Statement: Stop.
Ignite ground his teeth.
Suggestion: Master, may I punish the Pipsqueak for her failure? This unit would love to carry out your will through liquidation.
There was a rumble that nearly knocked Lana and Ignite from their feet. The containment cells shook and Ignite glanced around in confusion. Immediately after the rumbled ceased the alarm too stopped its incessant noise.
"Koth," Lana touched her comlink. "Was that you?"
"I'm a little busy!" Came a garbled reply. "We've been found out!"
Warning: Master, another Meatbag has entered the facility. Female. My scanners cannot read much more information.
Pipsy returned from wherever she'd ran off to. "Pipsy fix mean droid scanners when back on ship!"
Intriguing Admission: My circuits seem to be quivering, Master. I cannot say if it is due to anticipation or fear.
Ignite felt the world around him freeze for a second. "Fear?" He gawked at the droid.
Assurance: I believe it to be anticipation of the coming liquidation.
Lana's comlink blared, "We've got a big problem. BIG!"
"Yes?" Lana's calm façade wavered not a fraction.
"Vaylin is in the building."
"What's a Vaylin?" Ignite's lekku twitched.
"A very dangerous woman," Lana intoned, her expression shifting to worry. She started forward at a quickened pace. "Pipsy, make sure the path to the landing platform is clear."
Pipsy seemed to ignore Lana and turned to Ignite.
"Go ahead," he motioned.
"Pipsy fix!"
Observation: The Pipsqueak has learned her place. Master, the Lady Sith Meatbag's vitals have significantly spiked. This unit does not believe that is due to attraction to the Master. I will admit, begrudgingly, that I have been wrong before.
"What's a Vaylin?" Ignite repeated.
"Vaylin is the daughter of Emperor Valkorion," Lana informed coldly, put out by HK's observations. "She is incredibly strong in the Force. Stronger even than you, my Lord."
Mocking Retort: There are none stronger than the Master, Lady Sith Meatbag. Clearly your processors need to be updated.
"Oh?" Lana looked over her shoulder at the eight foot monstrosity that was HK. "How do you explain him being trapped in carbonite for the past five years?"
"Easy!" Ignite growled.
Threat: The Lady Sith Meatbag will not insult the Master or face liquidation.
Lana threw her hands up in frustration.
The three passed through several open doors, surprised to find little to no resistance. After their fourth hallway Ignite had to ask, "Where are the guards?"
"Your psychotic droid 'liquidated' all of them," Lana sniffed.
Correction: The Pipsqueak inadvertently liquidated one herself while trying to close a door. This unit was not pleased with the loss of a potential liquidation. Nevertheless I must admit the Pipsqueak's liquidation was impressive.
"The guard was split in half!" Lana replied in horror.
Regret: Yes, this unit wishes he could've had the pleasure of performing such a liquidation.
Ignite held back a laugh when he noticed Lana's eye twitch. He didn't remember HK provoking such a response from her in the past, but he was not going to complain at this current juncture. The Twi'lek noted the next door was rather large and, unfortunately, still closed. Pipsy was nowhere to be seen.
"Allow me," Lana stepped forward and attempted to pry open the door with the Force. It opened briefly and then slammed shut.
Statement: The door did not open.
"Clearly," Lana deadpanned.
The sound of metal being ripped from its hinges and hurled across the hallway echoed throughout the building; Vaylin was gaining.
"Together then," Lana nodded at Ignite.
Just as the two were about to call upon the Force the door shot open. A lightsaber pierced through the wall closest to Lana, causing her to leap back and ignite her own. A small hole was cut out and the smoking metal fell onto the grating, followed by a soot-covered Pipsy. Lana swallowed her initial surprise and deactivated her lightsaber.
"Boss!" Pipsy jumped up and down. "Pipsy fix! Door not open. Pipsy override control box in wall! Very dirty! Lots of dust!"
"Well done, Pipsy," Ignite pat the Jawa on the head and walked through the door. The four made for the nearest elevator; Pipsy jumped forward and pressed the up button.
HK leveled his blaster at the Jawa. Threat: The Pipsqueak will not press buttons without the Master's consent or face horrendous liquidation.
"Mean droid being mean to Pipsy!" Pipsy pointed at HK. "Pipsy not upgrade shields!"
Retort: This unit has waited five years for these fabled shield upgrades. Protestation: Master, clearly the Pipsqueak has been lying to this unit and the Master. She should be punished. Recommendation: I advise liquidation.
"It's okay, HK," Ignite chuckled, unable to help himself. The elevator dinged and the four stepped inside. Right before the doors closed Ignite noticed a silhouette at the far end of the hallway. Pipsy shuddered and her voice shifted to that of Zash.
"That was closer than I would have liked, Apprentice."
"Gonna have to get used to this one," Ignite admitted.
"It's not so bad," Pipsy-Zash replied. "Although I wouldn't mind if you would teach this creature on how to wield the Force."
"That's a brilliant idea," Ignite retorted sarcastically.
"Have no fear," Pipsy-Zash held out her hands. "Your over-protective droid has assured me of what will happen if I even speak the B word."
"B--?" Lana was cut off by HK.
Assurance: Betrayal, Master. This unit has assured the Old Hag Meatbag that her obedience to the Master will be absolute or, Meatbag Protection List be karked, I will shoot her out the nearest airlock after taking plentiful amounts of time liquidating her."
"Quite," Pipsy-Zash squeaked.
"Count on your psychotic droid to come up with a threat to squelch a Sith Lord," Lana sighed.
"Darth," Pipsy-Zash corrected.
"Oh please," Lana and Ignite said simultaneously.
"Flesh of my flesh!" The ghost of Kallig materialized before the Twi'lek.
"By the Force!" Ignite shouted, shooting a gout of lightning at the apparition. It passed through Kallig and into the door, causing it to glow orange and smoke.
Kallig shook his head in disappointment.
"I may have overreacted," Ignite admitted.
"As I was saying," Kallig continued. "You are in grave danger!"
"How are you even here?"
Statement: Master, this is the same Ghost Meatbag from before.
"Is that Lord Kallig?" Pipsy-Zash questioned incredulously.
"Not now!" Ignite silenced the two.
"How I am here is irrelevant," Kallig waved away the question, folding his arms. "The daughter of the Sith Emperor is closing on you. At your current strength you will be unable to face her."
"Great," Ignite sighed. "And no Dashade to save me from the next body-grab."
"You must--" Kallig began.
"Absorb more ghosts," Ignite finished.
"Indeed," Kallig was pleased. "Do not draw on the Emperor's power. Though he may reside in you I fear that your will is not strong enough to resist him overtaking you, should you allow him control."
"Say what now?"
He's referring to me. Valkorion's voice reverberated in Ignite's skull. Did you forget that I am sharing your vessel at the moment?
"Honestly?" Ignite stated aloud. "Yes, yes I forgot you were here."
"Do not converse with him, flesh of my flesh," Kallig warned. "He is far more powerful than you realize."
"But not as strong as this Vaylin?" Ignite asked.
"That is not for me to know," Kallig shrugged. "I have a name for you to investigate. A ghost of great power and knowledge, one who can supplement your own power a vast amount."
"Rajivari," Kallig said softly, beginning to fade. "Good luck flesh of my flesh. I shall be watching."
"Rajivari?" Lana repeated in confusion.
Pipsy-Zash began to laugh maniacally; causing all to turn to her and wait. It took several seconds for her to splutter out a complete sentence. "Rajivari is on Tython."
Ignite blinked.
"We have gone there before," Lana said.
There was a whirring sound that grew quite notable in the elevator. Six eyes turned to HK who was staring straight ahead as if processing something.
"HK? Ignite poked his droid.
Statement: This unit regrets he is still unable to laugh, Master. Gleeful Continuation: The Jedi home world would be the greatest gift you could give this unit, Master. To liquidate the strongest Jedi on their own planet is precisely what I was programmed by the Maker to do. Hopeful Request: Can we please go, Master?
"Shouldn't be too much of a problem," Lana shrugged at Ignite.
"Yes, when the Revanites worked in tandem to leave both Tython and Korriban defenseless. How do you propose to land there now? Despite the Eternal Empire rampaging across the known galaxy, both Tython and Korriban remain bastions of the Jedi and Sith respectively. No Sith will be able to set foot upon that planet," Pipsy-Zash reminded them.
The whirring noise died down. If HK could have glared, the droid would have in that moment. Threat: The Old Hag Meatbag will cease hostilities against this unit at once. Namely the killing of all the gleeful abandon I was processing.
"Noted," Pipsy-Zash muttered.
The elevator dinged once more and the super-heated door attempted to open. Ignite sent a Force wave into it, blasting it from its hinges. Lana looked at the currently empty landing platform and practically snarled into her comlink, "Where are you?!"
"Busy! You're going to have to book it to the adjacent landing pad!"
"You know, I think I have a solution to this Vaylin issue that doesn't involve a suicide run to Tython," Ignite grinned, knowing full well he wasn't going to deny HK the pleasure of visiting Tython.
"Pray, do tell," Lana grabbed her lightsaber, preparing to ignite it at any sign of enemies.
"I'll just woo Vaylin," Ignite shrugged. "I mean she is a she, yeah?"
Not happening! Valkorion roared.
Protestation: But Master!
"Hey!" Ignite bonked his head a few times. "My house, my rules!"
Sulking: You may as well liquidate me if you choose to deny this opportunity, Master.
"I can't liquidate you, HK," Ignite replied. "You don't slosh. And don't worry; we're going to Tython."
Statement: Thank you Master.
Please tell me you were joking about my daughter...
Ignite laughed.
Declaration: This unit is extremely pleased he does not slosh, Master.
"I'm aware, HK."

Lunafox's Avatar

01.04.2016 , 09:12 PM | #36
Great chapter, really enjoyed the exchanges between the characters. I think if HK ever go this way and liquidated Pipsy, he wouldn't know what to do with himself lol. He'd miss him I think. Also enjoyed Valk's reaction to Ignite's ideas about wooing Vaylin (eww lol).