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After three stories (spoilers inside)

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Story and Lore > Spoilers
After three stories (spoilers inside)

captaincr's Avatar

03.05.2013 , 12:44 PM | #1
Yes virginia there might be spoilers.

So I was extremely new to MMO's when I bought this game when it came out, but I'm a fan of all things star wars.

I've completed three stories and have enjoyed them so far. To be honest I'm not really a PVP guy, and I haven't done a bunch of flash points. But the story portion is great and the writers of this game should be commended for not only really good stories but tons of content.

I started out as a Sith Warrior and quickly chose to be a Jug. I loved this story from the start with the backstabbing and secret murders of rivals at the academy. When I finally killed my way to a new Master Darth Baras who was so fat that the Dark Side was caught in his gravity. Anyways I was happy to serve as his apprentice and went around the galaxy doing his bidding and watching my power grow. I felt truly Sith like as I talked a young Jedi into serving the Dark Side. But like any Sith story as I gained power, my Master decided to betray me, and take on another Apprentice who decided to please his master by trying to kill me. But the Dark Side works in mysterious ways and I survived only to be contacted by the Emperor's hands who told me that Baras was a grave threat to the Empire and the exalted Emperor himself, so they made me a Wraith. I gathered my strength and confronted his new apprentice and gained my revenge, then I went to confront my old master who was stuffing his face at the once a month Dark Council potluck dinner. I wasn't truly prepared and found myself sailing across the room when he yelled at me. But I realized he was weak and not worth of the mantel of Sith lord and left him lying in a pile of Dark side twinkie wrappers. I then warned the Dark Council that I was the Emperors Wraith and left then to their politics as I headed to my next adventure.

The Sith Warrior is incredibly well written, has a lot of great characters and would make an outstanding movie if you could get the actor from Jake and the Fatman to play Baras. You felt like a real Sith as you manipulated and lied and betrayed throughout the story, you also became incredibly powerful in the end.

The story and execution was a 8/10.

I then moved on to become a Bounty Hunter, a man just trying to make his way in this crazy universe of ours. Of course I had no street cred, I mean I had a cool face tattoo but nobody respected me. In fact my boss was killed on the first day on the job while I was out fetching coffee and donuts. I swore revenge and decided to get some credibility so I could earn some real money, so I worked my way into the great hunt. As I spanned the galaxy hunting down marks with my main squeeze at my side I became better at this bounty hunting gig while humming the theme to "Half Gun will travel". I eventually won the great hunt, got access to the Black List of high paying bounties (sine when was a couple of thousand credits enough to make me rich beyond my dreams? AmIrite)). I hunted down the bastard who killed my boss, took back his keys to the bounty hunter rest room and punched his ticket but good and then promptly got sent to kill Jedi.

Now what self respecting Bounty Hunter doesn't live to kill Jedi, I mean a day without killing Jedi is like a day without sunshine. So I did my job, collected some credits and suddenly found myself to be the most wanted man in the galaxy with a rouge Jedi ambushing me at every turn. Whats a fella to do? Well, I punched his ticket too, yup marked that receipt paid in full and decided to pay a visit to the supreme Chanceller, I was going to punch his ticket too for free because he was a damn dirty democrat when he offered a deal. A deal to a bounty hunter is like a box of donuts to Darth Baras you just start drooling. "Hey" he said "Let me live, kill your new Sith Lord bass and I'll clear your name but good and give you some cash" Well that Sith Lord had taken some liberties with the better half and he was wearing a 50's jet pack looking thing so why not. I went and killed that man too,added him to the stack of punched tickets and went on my way too freedom and puppies and all that stuff.

Honestly as much as I loved the Warrior Story line this one was so much better and had a man on the run, guy on his own, solitary figure of justice and killing feel to it. I'd give it a 9/10

So what's life like on the Republic side, I was getting a little bored of the mission content on the Dark Side, plus all that killing was getting to me so I decided to be a Tooper for peace.

Of course right after basic for some reason I was assigned to the best of the best Havoc squadron, and started my career by filling canteens and polishing rifles until like a week in, bamm they decided that I was so awesome that they didn't need to hang out with the Republic anymore and defected and took a bomb, a coffee machine and company paperclips with them. Not on my watch though, nobody steals office supplies from the Republic Military without filling the proper B37-31-a requisition forms, I was on a mission to collect signatures damnit. Meanwhile my boss is screaming at me to be subtle as I'm blasting my way to peaceful solutions across the galaxy. I finally hunt down the former leader of Havac squadron, get him to sign the proper paperwork and then shoot him in the head. I'm given some cash and a nice bit of leave that's promptly cancelled.

Yes the Empire has built a super weapon that can smack down ships in Hyperspace without filling out a Environmental impact statement and filling out form G-21-33 Independence weapons review. So I track down the ship and sneak on board to do peaceful inspection and then decide to blow it up because that's what soldiers do. I blew it up good. I get a promotion my main squeezed totally throws herself at me in a precise and military fashion with all the paper work filled out and we go on leave unttttiiiillll . . .

You got it, cancelled again, this just isn't being done in a proper and military manner but it turns out that some Imperial General who's actually like me a peaceful guy wants to impose peace on the whole galaxy. Well we can only have one peaceful guy in this galaxy and we all know who has two thumbs and is all about peace right? This guy.

So I go around the galaxy gathering other experts and peacekeepers and go on the hunt. But first I basically have to exterminate the dark Council, which I do after filling out the proper authorization to get ordinance from the central depot. I finally corner this rat and we have a reasonable talk about how he can make the galaxy all peaceful like. Well I snap first I deal with his body guards who repeatedly hit me in the face with their rifle buts while humming "There's gonna be a fight" by the rolling stones. I grease the bastards and place a call to Republic burial services and fill out the appropriate form D-76-21-a. I stop for lunch and order some takeout in case I run into Darth Baras, then I peacefully kill the Gerneral. Get the medal, some cash and hot chicks and then I'm given extended leave (like that's gonna happen)

While the story started out strong, it really dragged in the middle and didn't recover until the very last mission. I never felt that I was in any real danger here since I had a reputation among Sith and Imperials alike "Ah Major we've heard about how awesome you are, now prepare to die". The mission briefings felt military and you had clear goals. I have to admit that the companion story lines were weaker then the other two stories. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad story it just didn't have the epic feel of the Bounty Hunter and Sith Warrior.

So I gave it a 5./10. I would have given it a higher grade if there was more paper work and rifle polishing. "General Garza I field stripped and ressmebled this rifle in four seconds, I call it Betty"

So now I'm off on my next adventure, since I just finished a Republic story its time for me to go back to the dark side to keep things fresh, so my choices are Inquisitor or Intelligence. One promises ultimate evil while the other one is a Sith Lord. So hard to choose . . .

Zardac_the_Great's Avatar

03.05.2013 , 07:28 PM | #2
Wow. Did you fill out Form 435-B for authorization to be so funny?

captaincr's Avatar

05.01.2013 , 10:56 AM | #3
I can officially change the title of this thread to after 4 stories now, as I completed the Sith Inquisitor story line last night, and what a weird, strange and wonderful ride it was. I mean talk about spanning the whole experience of being licensed to be a jerk.

I mean I get it, I should be excited about being chosen for Sith training right, going from slave to Sith, this boy is getting his respect dammit. But no I get off of the shuttle and in between quests I'm basically scrubbing the overseer's toilet, opps sorry Star Wars term is fresher. Lighting his Alderaanian cigars with Sith Lightning and fetching the mail. Meanwhile I'm walking around in a leisure suit with a fricken stick for a weapon while teachers pet gets the cool kid robes, sits at the back of the classroom chuckling about slave boy, mainly me and gets A's for doing nothing. Anger boils over, but I'm bidding my time happily taking on stupid slavish fetch this stuff missions over and over again.

I was promised "Power.....Unlimited Power" when I was recruited from the pigath farms on Persius Omicron 2, instead I can barely light a cigar with my lightning and I'm being laughed at by every jerk at the academy and my fingers have gone all wrinkly from scrubbing freshers.

But I bid my time and eventually get noticed by a Dark Lord named Zash. Everytime I see her I'm wishing for a jazzy set of robes and thinking about Huttball a lot.

Anyways, the overseer continues to beat me down, and favor the jerkface in the robes until one day Zash catches him cheating cooks him, yells at the Overseer and claims me as her apprentices. I promptly excuse myself to my bunk, then I go meet her in the capital. The minute I get there she kindly tells me about how powerful I am, and assigns me to get to work, first to find a ancient Sith monster to pal around with and then to kill her rival. But first she wrinkles her nose and hints that a certain fresher needs a scrubbin.

Sure enough I find this Deshaube or whatever he is and I name him Venkman. .. Peter for short, and we go and club that Sith Lord to death hoping that nobody notices that my leisure suit isn't covered in Sith bits.

Of course my master is pleased, she promptly assigns my companion to scrub the fresher while I pick up my shiny new ship, of course on inspection that fresher is filthy so I apply my dark side powers to clean it up.

Eventually my new master (Hutball. . . hutball) sends me out to find some artifacts so that she can make me and her even more powerful. I've even noticed my power is growing, I can now use my Sith Lightning to kill the scum under my fridge.

So anyways, I fly all over the place looking for these artifacts while all the while killing Republic scum. Yup us former slaves are a no mercy bunch. "Please mr Sith, please spare my men, spare me blah blah blah" Yes sir I good shot of "Power Unlimited Power" takes care of that. Hey hows this "My name is Ash, I'm a slave and this is my Broom Stick"

Meanwhile I'm taking over a cult by preaching that good good religion and suckering the rubes into donating all of their cash to the church of the rock.

I eventually get another buddy to hang around with, though I'm really unhappy because the guy just leaves a total mess in the Fresher, and I'm learning that Venkman really can't be allowed to eat Taco Bell anymore. Mean while I'm namin new guy Egon.

Eventually I grab everything and Zash is telling me to hurry back so she can make me even more powerful by assembling a Lemarchand box (hellraiser yo).

We get back to the seat of Imperial power and I'm talkin to a long dead relative who's telling me "You watch out for that woman now, she's nothing but trouble" strangely that whole thing came out in a Morgan Freeman voice which makes it epic.

anyways I meet her in the ruins and for some reason she's constantly got a light shining behind her head so I can't see her face, but that's ok because after this a quick trip to my bunk and then "Power Unlimited Power"

Anyways she starts ranting like a crazy woman, Morgan Freeman's voice is yelling in my head "I told you so Cracker" and she turns around and I realize that I'm never going to have to think about Hutt ball again.

She's ugly man, she exclaims "You used to think I was beautiful" I reply "Yeah but then you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down" She as all woman do loses her nut and tells my that she wants my body which would have been great about a week ago, but now she wants it in a platonic metaphysical sense as in she wants to drive.

Of course Venkman won't have that and takes the bullet and Queen Ugly is now trapped in his body and he's asking me about the rules to Huttball. I'm safe Venkman's nuts, Egon is stuck in the cockpit of my ship and things are about to get ... . Awesome. That's right, a Dark Council Member named Dark Thanaton calls me and says "You dude are awesome, and I want to do a training montage with you so get your "Unlimited Power" butt over here so I can train you.

So off I go

To be continued.

captaincr's Avatar

05.01.2013 , 12:00 PM | #4
Anyways, so like a good slave, I grab my fresher cleaning kit and run over to see Darth Thanaton, because hello Darth. Anyways he says, Not bad for a former Slave, now here's a test go to the end of the hall there's a cleanup needed in Aisle three. Nope don't see anything un-towards there, so,well off I go and the bastard brings down the roof on me. I wake up feeling moldy Venkman breath on my face and I'm told that yet another Master has totally betrayed me. That's it, I'm done kowtowing to the man. Meanwhile he calls me up and says that now one with the permanent smell of fresher cleaner is going to be a Sith Lord in his Empire,no sir.

so I snap, Morgan Freeman calmly tells me to go start collecting ghosts so that I can get me some more of that "Power Unlimited Power". So off I go leaving a trail of bodies, sparkly clean freshers and captured ghosts in my wake. I also gather another buddy, a slightly confused dingbat former Jedi teenager who is now constantly running up the ships cellphone bill with her insipid moping about the state of the Empire and wondering if Justin Bieber is going on tour this summer. I promptly named her "Stupid" and assigned her to bathroom scrubbing duty. I then put Venkman/Zash on a pure Taco Bell diet. Being evil is good.

Meanwhile I'm totally kicking butt and taking names, slurpin up ghosts until my internal Ecto-containment grid is filled to bursting and I've left a trail of dead republicans so long and wide that Charles Manson is sending me texts proclaiming me "Da Man"

Yup I'm now a Sith Lord with a ton of power and an itchin for revenge, so I go after my former master old Backstabber himself. I totally confront him and my head promptly explodes (Scanners yo). He laughs at me and throws a fresher bush at my writhing form and saunters out of the room proclaiming that a Slave will never have "power unlimited power"

So my compatriots stuff my brains back into my head and tell me that I'm mentally ill. No kidding d'uh not only am I hearing Morgan Freeman's voice in my head, but Jack Nicolson, Gary Busey, Hayden Christenson and the Soup Nazi's voice all join in as well as Michelle Pfiefer, but then again that one might be normal, I'll be in my bunk.

Anyways I throw another double sized taco at Venkman/Vash and she says that I'm sick because I can't control the voices in my head and I need to find a cure. She then excuses herself and Stupid starts to cry.

So off I go at the behest of Venkman/Zash to gather artifacts because seriously what can go wrong, I can totally trust him/her/it.

I slowly gather these artifacts while at the same time doing some more of that sweet sweet killing. Meanwhile I've got another buddy, some nerd that I'll name I don't know, Batman, because all this guy does is whine seriously. "Oh yeah we won" Every single time,he's kinda a Buzz Killington, wait scratch the Batman name I dub thee Buzz.

Anyways I gather these artifacts and totally clear my head after going to a pink floyd concert and killing all of the people there, at least I think its a Pink Floyd concert. Or a really vivid dream thanks to better living through chemistry.

Then I get a phone call from a Moff, who the hell in HR comes up with these titles? I mean seriously when I'm in charge I'm getting rid of that title. He says, you have "Power Unlimited Power" But I have the freakin biggest gun in the galaxy, at least for now, then he chortles and pets his fluffy kitty. He then tells me that if we can be buddies he'll let me fire his big gun and blow up a fleet. So I do and he tells me that he loves me in a totally manly bro way.

BTW this empire stuff is weird, first hes telling me that I can pull the trigger on his gun, and my pirate buddy Egon is offering me back massages.

But back to focus. In a flash of inspiration Venkman/Zash comes back from the bathroom after a 3 day layover and says dude you need a proper Apprentice. I'm wondering whats wrong with Stupid as an Apprentice as she excuses herself grabs her Jedi Light brush and heads down the hall towards the refresher.

Fine, I go back to Korriban and stare down the overseer and tell him that I need to use the can. After throwing a roll of paper down the fresher and flushing I go back and laugh in his face and tell him that I want an apprentice. He brings some dudes out, I really like the dude with the mask, I shall call him Bones.

So now I have a full ship, yup, I've got Venkman/Zash, Egon, Stupid, Buzz and Bones, and only one Fresher, is is it me or do we need to buy flystrips.

Anyhow Thanaton calls me and says, we need to settle this like men, and I'm like totally, but boy do I have a surprise for him because now I truly I have "Power Unlimited Power" and control it. So I'm like a mano a mano is great, but he says "No way" I challenging you to a LARPing tournament on Corellia. Whatever.

I get to Corellia and for starters I totally route the republic, I've got the ghost of Xenu tellilng me that I am truly the man and I go off to confront Thanaton.

He totally wants to debate me to death while sending his bodies to kill me. Whatever I've got ghosts. So I totally slaughter his buddies and he declares that he's too good for me and saunters off at a run.

So all I can do is follow him to the Capital. I validate my parking and take Buzz with me for the final confrontation. I show up just as he's whining to the Dark Council about what a meany I am, and how they should totally all kill me.. I walk into the council chamber and ask them where the Fresher is. I then leave them a surprise for later heh heh heh.

I go back and have a total drag em out brawl with Thanaton and then kick him in a sensitive area for good measure. As he's crawling away clutching his inflamed family jewels one of the Dark Councillers totally twists his head off with the force. I need to learn that trick I think as visions of Stupid dance through my head.

Anyways Thanaton is dead and the other Councillers are like "Dude" you totally have to join our club and we just happen to have a spot. Here's the keys to the executive Fresher you are now and forever known as Darth Knox. What a stupid name, I had my heart set on something cool like Darth Vader, or Darth Sideous or hell Darth Black Bunny.

anyways, I'm now a Darth a counciller, I have unlimited power, bad skin and purple glowy eyes. I also have a really high cellphone bill thanks to Stupid and I'm going to spend all eternity with a pirate asking me if I want a massage while Buzz bores me to death and Venkman keeps wreckin the can.

Life is good.

nateslice's Avatar

05.01.2013 , 11:15 PM | #5
This was an awesome read!

Your storytelling style reminds me of an old friend of mine. So does your name. Coincidence?

captaincr's Avatar

05.06.2013 , 11:53 PM | #6
Quote: Originally Posted by nateslice View Post
This was an awesome read!

Your storytelling style reminds me of an old friend of mine. So does your name. Coincidence?
Thanks, don't know if its a coincidence or not, I usually use the same user name in longer form on other forums around the web

nateslice's Avatar

05.08.2013 , 12:56 AM | #7
Quote: Originally Posted by captaincr View Post
Thanks, don't know if its a coincidence or not, I usually use the same user name in longer form on other forums around the web
Well, if my name doesn't ring any bells for you it probably is a coincidence. Still, I enjoy your stories and would like to read more!

captaincr's Avatar

05.08.2013 , 12:01 PM | #8
Started a smuggler, that will be next, then I'll play through the two jedi's and finish off with the Intelligence agent.

To be honest the Smuggler story might right itself and be slightly x-rated.