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A Crisis of Haberdashery


thatghost's Avatar


thatghost
11.11.2012 , 07:48 PM | #1
Since I went the mostly-solo route with my second agent I wasn't even at social 1 by the time Vector's lack of non-robe-legwear began to bug me- no pun- around level 43. Thanks to a random merc who ran a couple quick heroics with me on Balmorra, Vector acquired his new pants.

Me: no fanfic in these forums but a bit on Fanfiction.net written earlier in the year prior to the loss of my laptop. A change in head canon has rendered that particular fanfic rather unsettling and nonsensical to me. New laptop now, and this is the inaugural piece of writing, as short and silly and mainly dialog as it is


"Agent?!"

It was the tone of voice she'd come to associate with a few missed jolts of kolto. Anxious. Confused. On the verge of death. She bashed her shin against the ship's holoterminal in her frantic dash towards the exclamation.

"Agent..."

Things flew at her. An electrostaff sailed at her head and she ducked; its collision with the wall was punctuated by an old uniform jacket which hit her squarely in the face. She heard Kaliyo snickering, dropped the jacket to the floor, and stared in utter disbelief: Vector was tearing through the cargo hold, his features set in a grim mask of alarmed gentility.

"What are-"

"Agent. We are sorry for the mess. We cannot find our pants."

A snort from Kaliyo. "I'm not responsible for this. Just so you know."

She made a gesture behind her back. Go elsewhere.

"Yeah yeah. If he ruins my old street clothes I'll do more than just spit in his tea." Retreating footsteps.

"Vector?" She edged up behind him as carefully as she'd approach a nexu matriarch with cubs nearby. The thought occurred to her that a quick sleep dart might be in order just to end whatever madness this was.

"We had pants once. Trousers. They seem to be gone," his hands continued to shuffle through the hold and desh clattered out around her feet, "and we want them back. We have been mistaken for a Sith in these robes. Our song is not dark and suffused with the reverse-membrosial tang of blood," he turned to face her, "and the screams of tortured electrons and the revels of severed lifestreams and the-"

"Vector?"

"Yes?"

"Do you hear yourself?" She placed a hand on his shoulder, tentative, all too aware that he was clutching one of her old vibroknives. Worn sheath. Meticulously-kept blade.

"We...we imagine we must sound...insane," he sighed, studied the knife in his grip, "I remember the first time I saw you use this, it was a brutal and beautiful dance..." he trailed off and pivoted slightly in order to nestle the weapon back into the hold.

So he was slipping and this was, indeed, a crisis. "We can go to Kaas City. Get you some pants. There's a tailor in the cantina-"

"We...we...why is the tailor in the cantina? The cantina near The Citadel?" A tilt of the head. A puzzled gaze from narrowed, depthless-dark eyes. "These are...Sith pants?"

She coughed to hide a giggle. Her instincts told her to not kiss him...

...and they proved correct when, as she ushered Vector towards their quarters, Kaliyo strolled past too casually and shot him a wicked grin.

"So...Sith Pants...you two sneaking off to burn your skirt in private?"

MilaniGrey's Avatar


MilaniGrey
11.11.2012 , 08:04 PM | #2
Heh, that was actually amusing. I approve! (if that's worth anything. )
The Islingr LegacyShatter the Darkness
Astaron, Narithia, Xalkory, ┴illeacht
The Ebon Hawk Server
Forever Shenanigans!

Vesaniae's Avatar


Vesaniae
11.11.2012 , 09:00 PM | #3
That was cute! I chuckled aloud at the idea of Vector being mistaken for a Sith. A nice in-universe spin on the out-of-universe tribulations of those trying to find Vector a decent outfit!
Force Lightning: The solution to every problem. Every. Problem.
Afterimages * Walking Penumbral * Like Moths to the Flame
Forever Shenanigans!

thatghost's Avatar


thatghost
11.12.2012 , 10:24 AM | #4
It's worth more than I can express, Milani (see? even that sounded trite) thank you both. I'm one of those scribblers who has to engage in extensive self-pep-talk in order to publish/submit anything anywhere.

There are so many amazing writers in this particular forum. It's daunting but also inspiring. Maybe I'll dust off that old fanfic (thank gods it still exists online or else it would be gone forever), fit it to the new head canon, slap it in here...or maybe I'll just stick to short and silly for a while until I get my writing brain back up to par

Vesaniae's Avatar


Vesaniae
11.12.2012 , 11:20 AM | #5
Quote: Originally Posted by thatghost View Post
It's worth more than I can express, Milani (see? even that sounded trite) thank you both. I'm one of those scribblers who has to engage in extensive self-pep-talk in order to publish/submit anything anywhere.

There are so many amazing writers in this particular forum. It's daunting but also inspiring. Maybe I'll dust off that old fanfic (thank gods it still exists online or else it would be gone forever), fit it to the new head canon, slap it in here...or maybe I'll just stick to short and silly for a while until I get my writing brain back up to par
Might I recommend the Short Fic Weekly Challenge Thread? It's a great way to post short things and get yourself known. And this community does like its silly.
Force Lightning: The solution to every problem. Every. Problem.
Afterimages * Walking Penumbral * Like Moths to the Flame
Forever Shenanigans!

Earthmama's Avatar


Earthmama
11.12.2012 , 11:28 AM | #6
That was adorable! poor Vector! lol, well done!

irishfino's Avatar


irishfino
11.12.2012 , 02:27 PM | #7
I need a pair of pants! A decent pair of paaaants!
I'll probably die if you group with me, but I'll go out with both lightsabers drawn stabbing someone in the face. Probably you, but it's cool. Forever Shenanigans!!

iamthehoyden's Avatar


iamthehoyden
11.12.2012 , 05:58 PM | #8
Quote: Originally Posted by irishfino View Post
I need a pair of pants! A decent pair of paaaants!
As if millions of light armor wearers had cried out in terror....

You got the voices of the agent crew down very well!! I enjoyed this.
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
---------------
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

thatghost's Avatar


thatghost
11.17.2012 , 01:10 PM | #9
Quote: Originally Posted by Vesaniae View Post
Might I recommend the Short Fic Weekly Challenge Thread? It's a great way to post short things and get yourself known. And this community does like its silly.
I've lurked in that thread many a time, searching for the prompts. Of course they were right under my nose (fingers, eyes, what have you) in the archive and, me being me, I didn't find them until today.

If the current prompt is in place for a few more days then I might have something to add. My Sentinel is grappling with more than one sin since completing Chapter 2. Can't promise silly with this one if I manage to get it out of my brain and into concrete readable words

Again, thanks all for the encouragement

(Vector is now gently demanding "better" pants after he discovered a hololink to The Cartel Shop...)

irishfino's Avatar


irishfino
11.17.2012 , 03:11 PM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by thatghost View Post
I've lurked in that thread many a time, searching for the prompts. Of course they were right under my nose (fingers, eyes, what have you) in the archive and, me being me, I didn't find them until today.

If the current prompt is in place for a few more days then I might have something to add. My Sentinel is grappling with more than one sin since completing Chapter 2. Can't promise silly with this one if I manage to get it out of my brain and into concrete readable words

Again, thanks all for the encouragement

(Vector is now gently demanding "better" pants after he discovered a hololink to The Cartel Shop...)
Prompts are always up for a week and late posts are always welcome.
I'll probably die if you group with me, but I'll go out with both lightsabers drawn stabbing someone in the face. Probably you, but it's cool. Forever Shenanigans!!