Please upgrade your browser for the best possible experience.

Chrome Firefox Internet Explorer

Star Wars: Episode I (rewrite)

Klannad's Avatar

08.25.2012 , 02:13 PM | #11
(To anyone subscribed to this post)

Wow! almost 200 views and counting. I'm really glad i've been able to find this kind of support so early in posting this. But alas, bad news. I doubt i will be able to write anything substantial this weekend, and while i'll be able to post this upcoming week, friday, saturday, and sunday are bad days for me time wise. So don't lose interest! The first big lightsaber battle is coming up! and I'm going to be introducing a very different Jar Jar binks...stay tuned!

Klannad's Avatar

08.26.2012 , 04:21 PM | #12
GAH. SO I WROTE THE NEXT CHAPTER BUT THEN MY INTERNET OR THIS WEBSITE FIZZLED OUT. Expect the next portion early tomorrow. I'm too annoyed to write now. Aha...

Klannad's Avatar

08.27.2012 , 06:27 AM | #13

"Anakin! move!" Obi-wan screamed as the dark figure charged at his young apprentice, red blade swooping overhand, attempting to remove Anakin's head from his neck. The Jedi Knight reached out with the force and grabbed Anakin's tunic, pulling him to safety as the dark man stumbled on his own blow.

"Anakin..are you alright?" Obi-wan asked, his eyes focused on the dark brown cloak shuddering before them.

"Yeah...I...what is that? It feels-" Anakin began, but he trailed off.

"It's the dark side, Anakin." Obi-wan said grimly.

And you remember it. From Tatooine. Obi-wan thought to himself with a frown.

"Can you fight?" Obi-wan asked. Anakin nodded with a smile.

"Dark side, I don't know why Jedi are so melodramatic. It's some freak who twisted the force. It's that simple." Anakin said with confidence.

The dark cloak suddenly came hurtling towards them, Obi-wan grabbing Anakin by his collar and pulling him behind himself, his lightsaber in his right hand, ready to defend his young ward. He stabbed through the cloak, and then brought his blade upwards, cutting it in half.

But it was a trap.

The figure that was once wearing the cloak flashed over him, and landed behind Anakin.

Obi-wan could hear as his opponent's lightsaber fizzled in the air-

And then a crash.

Anakin blocked a blow to his legs, and swung his lightsaber to his right side as the creature attacked, pushing him back into Obi-wan.

Obi-wan ran, attempted to run past Anakin and their shared opponent, but the creature re-ignited it's second blade, almost cutting Obi-wan's throat out. Obi-wan grimaced and raised his weapon high, bringing it down hard on this new extension. Anakin then moved his own blade down the dark figure's own, creating sparks that threatened to blind them all.

Anakin's going to destroy the first portion of the hilt Obi-wan thought. We got him.

But then the red blades disappeared, and Obi-wan and Anakin fell forward. As Obi-wan rolled to get to his feet, he heard a swoosh as the red blade reactivated. He could feel its heat as it came down on his neck.


Obi-wan, calling on the force, jerked a darkly clothed leg forward, causing his opponent to grunt and fall on his back, his blade again deactivating harmlessly. Obi-wan then picked him up with the force, and attempted to throw him forward-

But the creature hung in the air, then simply landed on his feet. Obi-wan's force had no effect on him.

But how... Obi-wan sat on his knees, stunned.

"Surprised, Jedi?" The creature called, his face still obscured by a second hood, attached to the black under-tunic he wore. Dark, almost black hands lifted to the cowl of his hood, and slowly, it pulled the hood backwards, revealing a horned head.

And ornate and savage Sith tattoos.

"I am Maul. And I am the scourge of your order, Jedi. I am Sith." It said.

"Master!" Anakin called suddenly, leaping over Obi-wan and landing in front of him, his blue blade shimmering.

Maul cocked his head to the side.

"I see your braid, whelp. You actually believe you can defeat me?" Maul hissed.

"Um, yeah", Anakin said, suddenly dropping to the ground and sending his lightsaber twirling horizontally at Maul's feet. The Sith roared, jumping over the deadly blade, and then charging Anakin.

"Obi-wan!" Anakin screamed frantically. Maul almost had him when he heard-and saw Obi-wan's blade come to his aid, stopping the lethal red bar of energy from maiming his face. Anakin disengaged from them and jumped to the wall, running across it and calling his blade back to his open hand.

Maul attempted to catch him, but Obi-wan blocked his advance, catching Maul with several almost fatal blows.

Anakin jumped from the wall, his blade held above his head as he launched himself at his enemy. As he was about to connect the blow-

Maul vanished.

Obi-wan, gasping, darted out of the way as Anakin's blade cut into the flooring of the ship.

"What in the world.." Anakin whispered, then gasped as he was pulled backwards, all of the air leaving his lungs.

It was behind him now.

Anakin held his lightsaber backwards, at his side, only to be thrown into the adjacent wall, being held there as Maul's hand began to spark with electricity.

"These are the powers of Bogan, Boy." Maul sneered.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan screamed, running towards him. Maul suddenly switched his gaze onto Obi-wan, and unleashed the wave of lighting he had been building for Anakin. Obi-wan blocked the initial blast, but the lighting crackled and twisted between Obi-wan's lightsaber and Maul's open hand, building up more and more. Maul's force grip began to lessen on Anakin, and he began to slowly slide down the wall.

Obi-wan suddenly rushed Maul, running forward, the lighting between them violently reacting, roaring and snarling.

"You fool!" Maul screamed, but Obi-wan didn't listen. He kept running forward, the lighting becoming a throbbing ball, until it exploded.

Anakin suddenly was no longer near the wall, but next to a crumpled up Maul.

They were both unharmed.

"You...foolish...Jedi...still...connected..." Maul stammered.

He accidentally teleported me! Anakin suddenly realized. Maul tried to get to his feet, but he was too weak, his body collapsing on the floor whenever he tried to put his weight on his palms, which were scratching the floor desperately.

Anakin ignited his blade and held it over Maul's head.

"Anakin! Anakin! no!" Obi-wan called. Anakin looked up to see his master, his robes ruined and ripped.

His blade arm snarled with spider-webbing open cuts and wounds. His lightsaber fizzled weakly.

"Master..." Anakin began, before another explosion erupted, cutting him off.

In the smoke, they were blind. But a voice called to them. Old. calculating.

And oddly enough, friendly.

"Obi-wan? Obi-wan Kenobi?" it asked.

Obi-wan instantly forgot about his wounded arm.

Count Dooku.

Count Dooku had revealed himself to them.


Klannad's Avatar

08.28.2012 , 07:39 AM | #14

The smoke slowly cleared, and Obi-wan could hear the clanking feet of machines run against the steel flooring.

Great, more droids.. Obi-wan thought to himself. He looked down at his arm.

And he wished he hadn't.

Several gaping cuts, some of them from his hand to his elbow, traveled his arm like zigzagging roads, each one slowly gushing dark red blood. He could move it, but only slowly and carefully.

If another fight was coming, Obi-wan wasn't sure that he and Anakin could survive.


Was he sure that it was him? of course it was. He could never forget that voice. And he had felt him before. But why was Dooku here? with the Trade Federation? He had left the order, but he was still on good terms with both the Jedi and the Empire. What is he doing here?

And that darkness he felt...

"Maul had sealed off both doors leading to the guest suite." Dooku said, suddenly appearing before Obi-wan and Anakin, who had moved closer to each other. He was talking into a holocom, and backed by dozens of droids, weapons at the ready.

"Yes- Yes, of course. Good, Tarkin. No, I have them." Dooku spoke into the comm with an almost bored voice.

"Obi-wan. It's been some time." Dooku greeted. Obi-wan looked up at him, his hair falling over his face.

"Dooku." Obi-wan grimaced.

Dooku's eyes passed over Obi-wan and locked with Anakin's. Anakin looked at him with a confused smile.

"Uh..hey?" Anakin waved.

Dooku smiled weakly and turned back to Obi-wan.

"It's just as Qui-Gon said, Isn't it? Obi-wan? that he would find himself back with the Jedi." Dooku said. Obi-wan stumbled over himself trying to get to Dooku.

"Don't..Dooku!" He begged. The count looked at him with disdain.

"Please, Obi-wan, contain yourself." He walked past the Jedi and to the fallen Maul.

"You were able to stop this beast's rampage. Good. Guards! Arrest this creature." Dooku ordered. Instantly, the skeletal federation droids shuffled by, picking up Maul, and left.

"Now..." Dooku began, rubbing his hands together, and turning to face Anakin and Obi-wan.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here. And it's for the same reason you are, My Jedi friends. I tried to use my connections to halt the invasion- As you could no doubt tell, I failed. I have some power here due to my connection to Tarkin, but it is no longer safe for us to be here. I have arranged for your ship to be allowed to land on Naboo, where you may send a message to the Empire." Dooku said with a smile.

"Take the wounded one to the infirmary. Clean his arm." Dooku ordered, and turned with a flourish, his cape flowing behind him.

As droids delicately aided Obi-wan to the infirmary, Anakin called out to Dooku.

"What am I supposed to do? And how do you know me?" Anakin asked. Dooku turned his head slightly, and simply smiled.

"There is much you need to learn about your own life, Anakin." He said, leaving the young Jedi speechless and dumbfounded.

"Follow your master to the infirmary. Once he is healed, you will be on your merry way." Dooku said as he walked away, backed by a chorus of clanking steps of the Federation military.

Anakin followed his master, his head down, and silent, as he realized there were many things Obi-wan didn't tell him.

I have a right to know Anakin simmered, but still, he cared for his master, and wanted him to get better more than anything. Obi-wan was his Father. His Brother. His only family.


Klannad's Avatar

08.29.2012 , 06:20 AM | #15
Wow! three hundred and ten views in less than two weeks! I really want to thank you all. Just a quick AN, I wont be able to post until next monday/tuesday. Just a small note to anyone who checks this thread daily for updates. feel free to post some questions/comments during this short hiatus

Klannad's Avatar

08.31.2012 , 09:27 PM | #16
AN: I've been really busy this past week, but I actually think I might be able to post early tomorrow. So stay tuned! And comment! your comments help me craft the story and inspire me to continue working on this. If you're a fan, drop a beat!

Klannad's Avatar

09.02.2012 , 06:23 PM | #17

Obi-wan sat motionless as a Federation medic droid put the finishing touches on the tight gray bandages that wrapped his arm. Its touch was delicate and precise, which Obi-wan found almost amusing.

Droids were becoming more and more human.

The humor was short lived, however, for the revelation of Dooku's re-emergence came shattering down upon him like a rock falling on a glass window.

He was back. Obi-wan hadn't seen him since the last days of the Hyperspace war, more than a decade ago. What was he doing here? Obi-wan thought to himself as he eyed Anakin, who had said almost nothing, sitting by Obi-wan with his head down, his hands wrapped behind his neck.

"I believe you are fit for operation, sir." The medical droid's metallic voice croaked. Obi-wan nodded graciously, and rose from the seat in which he was stationed. Anakin slowly rose after him, his lightsaber clicking against his belt. They moved from the Medbay, sliding doors hissing as they opened and parted ways, revealing two droid soldiers led by a human in a gray uniform.

"I am to escort you to the hangar bay, Master Jedi." The human said quietly. Obi-wan looked at him deeply, and nodded.

"Where is Count Dooku?" Obi-wan asked.

"Master Dooku has returned to his quarters- His own transport will be coming soon to retrieve him" The man said with an almost bored voice.

"What of the one that attacked us?" Obi-wan pressured.

The man looked at Obi-wan with a tint of annoyance, but answered him politely.

"Dooku said he has taken care of him" The man said simply.

Obi-wan wasn't satisfied.

"No-We need to report his existence to the Emperor, to the Jedi council-" Obi-wan began. The man cut him off with a swift turn and click of his heels, his robot companions doing the same.

"This way, please." He said, cutting off all invitation for conversation.

Anakin and Obi-wan followed their guards to the hangar, the entire trip wrought by uncomfortable silence. The only sound seemed to be the clicking of the black heels hitting the floor, followed by the sound of light metal patting, coming from the two droids. Upon coming past a view-screen, Obi-wan's heart sank even further. Federation fleets were still swarming Naboo.

They had to get the word to Coruscant. But when they did, what would happen? The Empire would be locked in another war.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Obi-wan as he saw his ship in the distance. Why would they allow us to escape? He continued to walk, but he felt alarm in his heart. Something was wrong.

"Anakin." Obi-wan whispered under his breath.

Anakin was silent.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan urged, turning to face his apprentice as he walked.

The young boy had tears streaming down his cheeks. Obi-wan quickly turned forward again, lest he embarrass Anakin, and turned his attention on his ships descending loading ramp. The human guard looked them and forced a smile.

"You are all set to go. Your heat signatures have been approved by the Federation Fleet." He said, and turned, leaving Obi-wan and Anakin to their ship. They boarded, slowly, where they were greeted by their clone pilot.

"Master Obi-wan, Anakin. How did the negotiations fare?" The clone asked. Anakin shook his head.

"They failed." He said darkly. Obi-wan turned to see him, and looked at him searchingly. Anakin glared at him, his voice brimming with anger.

"You need to tell me what happened on Concord Dawn. With Dooku. How does he know me? Who is Qui-gon?" Anakin demanded.

Obi-wan sat in the co-pilot's chair, his eyes staring ahead at the blue shield that was slowly vanishing to allow them into space.

"Another time Anakin...when you're ready. Take off." Obi-wan said, the clone pilot nodding as the ship lurched forward.

Obi-wan could hear Anakin whispering the Jedi Code.

At least he's controlling his anger Obi-wan thought as their ship picked up speed and weaved through the Federation fleet, which was like an insect hive, buzzing with activity. Suddenly, the clone's voice rose as he gripped the controls and activated the shields.

"Something is wrong- They've targeted us!" He screamed. He pressed the comm button desperately, trying to get in contact with the Empire, but all they received was static.

The Federation had blocked communications.

"Those bastards!" Anakin cursed as a massive blast rocked their ship. Obi-wan could feel the ship lose power as it began to be dragged into Naboo's gravitational pull.

Another blast came crashing into them, causing Obi-wan's head to crash against the controls. The last thing he heard was the screaming, and then the heat. After that, there was nothing, except the uncertainty of darkness.

Klannad's Avatar

09.03.2012 , 09:16 PM | #18

Rushing water.

Wind softly pushing the leaves of gigantic ancient trees to the side as it invisibly passed through.

Cool air.


Anakin's eyes slowly opened, revealing an almost picture-esque scene: bright green trees and bushes lie ahead of him- He could hear a small stream bubbling, which he guessed couldn't be that far away. He slowly rose to his feet, his bones partially aching, and looked past the thick canopy of the forest to see the sun was just rising.

It was then he heard the dying fire. The young Jedi turned, and saw an almost mirror opposite of what he had seen previously. The earth was scorched- Anakin saw that once fine dirt had been burned to an almost complete crisp, having made a chaotic clearing in the dense forest. He saw the fallen, smoldering trees that had been forcibly parted to make way for their crashed vessel, which lay a few dozen feet ahead of him- still smoking.

He suddenly looked down at himself.

No bruises. No cuts. He touched his hair.

It was fine and smooth. Like always.

Obi-wan. He tried to reach out to his master with the force- but then suddenly felt as if someone had hit him over the head with a hard, blunt object. He doubled over, feeling pain from his head to his groin, and repressed the urge to vomit.

He lay on his hands and knees for a moment, and then tentatively reached out to the force again.

Instead of pain, he felt nothing. He suddenly felt blind, as if someone had turned out the lights when it had been bright and clear moments earlier.

I can't feel the force. I can't feel anything. Anakin thought to himself.

"Obi-wan!" Anakin called almost frantically. He ran to the ship, almost stumbling, and looked at the wreckage. The vessel was almost unrecognizable, burnt black with dying wires spouting their electric, sputtering eulogies. He walked around the wreck, looking for any sign of life- Or lack thereof.

He found a body.

The face was totally burned off, leaving a crisp mass of bright red flesh. The body was missing parts-both arms had been ripped off. Anakin followed with his eyes the outline of the ship in relation to the figure and realized with grim happiness that it was the clone's body, not his masters.

How am I unharmed..? Anakin asked himself as he circled the area, looking for any sign of his master. After he searched the crash site twice, he frowned, and started walking deeper into the green forest.

Naboo.. Anakin suddenly realized. He was on Naboo. How was he here? if he was still on the ship, he would have obviously died, with the clone. And his body, along with his master's, would be in there- Cooking like a womp-rat steak.

So Obi-wan was alive. The thought, although confusing, pleased Anakin's heart enough for him to flash a small, quick smirk. His feet depressed comfortably into the soft, fertile ground with each step, and his nostrils felt cleansed after breathing in the crisp morning air. He walked straight ahead from the site; almost aimlessly, searching for his hidden master with bright eyes.

And then he stopped.

He saw his master's boot- But it wasn't on his foot. It was in a hand- a gloved, metallic hand. The mysterious man's entire body was covered in dirtied armor, the sigil, which Anakin recognized as Mandalorian in design, paritally obscured by dirt and grime. Long dreadlocks, as dark as raven's feathers, fell from a handsome face that had the color of the fine bark of the forest.

Anakin had no patience for secrecy. He bounded ahead, straight at the man, his eyes filled with fury.

"Where did you get that boot!" He screamed, and opened his hand, calling his lightsaber into his palm.

It didn't respond. Anakin, dismayed, almost stopped running, and his trained instincts, rather than those given to him by the force, suddenly forced him to drop, as he did so, he could feel the heat of the laster bolt that almost brained him.

"Don't move, Jedi." The man said, and Anakin could hear his attacker approaching, his steps heavy on the forest floor, breaking dried twigs.

"I killed plenty of you during the Hyperspace War. I can kill again." He threatened. Anakin remained silent, his face to the ground. The smell of refuse filled his nostrils.

"It was a good war for many Mandalorians. I know the hunter was pleased, all of those years ago". The man said. His voice was deep and melodic, like a stringed instrument.

"But I haven't been hunting good sport lately, until I see the fire in the sky. I come, and see your ruined ship. I thought you were dead. But the one you are looking for-" Anakin didn't need to look up from the ground to see what this man was doing. He was shaking Obi-wan's boot.

"Has been taken prisoner. I just came back for his beauty. Maybe after I'm done with him, I can take the other boot, too." The man said with a tint of excitement.

"Get up." The man ordered. Anakin slowly rose, his robes damp from the ground, his hands behind his back.

"You're coming with me, Jedi." He said mockingly.

Anakin remained silent.

"Oh, where are my manners. My name is Jarjar Binks." He said smoothly.

What a stupid name.. Anakin thought to himself.

"And my name is Emperor Valorum." Anakin responded.

He was met with a harsh blow to the head with Jarjar's gun.

"Don't be doing that..boy." He said coolly.

"Turn, and walk." He ordered.

Anakin stared at him, his eyes brimming with anger.

"Turn, and walk." He stressed again. Anakin turned, but then quickly back around, his fist rushing for Jarjar's face.

The man wasn't there.

Suddenly, he was behind Anakin, and before the young Jedi could retaliate, Jarjar had caught him in a headhold- One that could easily snap his young Jedi head, if Jarjar willed it.

"Now you be good, Jedi. Two Jedi are better than one. I don't believe in odd numbers." Jarjar whispered in Anakin's ear, and then released him, slowly.

"Now walk." Jarjar commanded.

Anakin walked.

"When I poke your right shoulder you go right. When I poke left, you go left, Understand?" Jarjar asked.

Anakin nodded.

"Good. You know, you're gonna be making me lots of money, Jedi. Lots of money." Jarjar laughed.

Anakin sighed. I hate naboo already...


Klannad's Avatar

09.04.2012 , 07:03 AM | #19

Stark Hyperspace War.


16 years ago
Jarjar watched as Mandalorian and slaver gunships fell from the sky like brutal, fiery falling stars, crashing into the harsh iridonian landscape. Their armies burned. Jarjar wiped the grime from his T-shaped visor and ran forward, rifle gripped in his shaking hands.

This was hell.

The sky was practically on fire- He could feel the heat despite the cooling systems inside his suit. His squad ran by him- similarly dressed, their commander, Jango Fett, urging them forward.

"Ignore the skies! The Black Sun is sending air support! We are winning the battle on the field!" He roared, and in turn Jarjar, with his fellow men, bellowed in triumph. They ran over a bluff, and came rolling down on the flat valley that was to be their battlefield. The sound of laser fire and the smell of death immediately hit Jarjar with more precision and stopping power than any blaster could. He stumbled, quickly unshackled his helmet and retched. The full smell of the battlefield rushed into his nose, and he retched again. He looked ahead with hazy red eyes and saw Jango running farther and farther away, Jarjar's company of 30 men following him.

He put on his helmet and rushed to meet them. They still lay on the outskirts of the massive battle- But Jarjar could see, in the distance, the clones.

Imperial clones.

The boys in white.

Massive rows of them marching into the battle. Jarjar could see the Imperial war machines shimmering in the red sun, their massive cannons, strapped to their turtle-like backs, firing into the massive field of Mandalorian and stark forces.

The fear in Jarjar was gone.

Now there was only the lust for battle.


Klannad's Avatar

09.04.2012 , 08:35 AM | #20

He spurred ahead, his heavy boots picking up dust as he caught up with his squad. He could see Jango Fett standing tall among them, in the center, his armor blue and gleaming. He held two pistols, and was firing into the field of white troops.

Jarjar saw that they had been ordered to retreat, Their backs were turned to the mass of Stark troops and Mandalorians, and they were firing savagely into the fleeing corps. Jarjar caught up with his squad, who were in turn surrounded by no less than fifteen thousand men.

"They are retreating?" Jarjar asked his companion, Dazar Malo, who was aiming down the sights of his bandaged sniper rifle.

"Skarking Jedi ordered them out of the battle. We're pursuing, after we regroup. We need BlackSun ships to take out those walkers," He said gruffly as he fired. Jarjar's hazel eyes followed the bright red bolt until it met with the back helm of a fleeing clone trooper. It fell over, crumpled and defeated.

Jarjar turned his attention back on Dazar. "What about our Basiliks?" He asked over the roaring sound of battle.

Dazar shrugged, and Jarjar could see his eyes through the T-shaped visor he wore. His eyes looked searchingly for another clear shot. After a few silent moments, he shrugged and put the sniper rifle down, and removed his helmet, revealing tanned skin, and a head of curled blonde hair.

"They kept getting shot down. Mandalore wants to save them to help the BlackSun.. when they show their skarking faces" Dazar swore.

Jarjar nodded, and walked deeper into his core, where Jango was the center. His mask too, was taken off, revealing olive skin, curly black hair, and dark hawk-like eyes.

"We've routed them. But intelligence tells us that Dyas is rallying his troops, and they're launching a combined air and ground attack." Jango said, biting his lip.

The group was silent.

"There's no way we would survive that." One of the young mandalorians said. Jango nodded.

"I agree. That's why Mandalore ordered us to back out, into one of the deserted cities." Jango said simply.

More silence.

"There is no honor in that battle." Jarjar said bitterly. Jango glared at him.
"There is no honor in dying like fools." Jango retorted. Jarjar could several of his companions murmurer in agreement. The battle horn suddenly sounded, motioning them to move. Jango stood up, putting back on his helmet.

"That's our cue! Lets go! The Empire won't win this planet!" Jango yelled. Jarjar grimaced, and pulled his helmet on, ready to march on into the battle that would decide the fate of their cause.