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How Warm is it Inside a Tauntaun? (SW Humor!)

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > STAR WARS Discussion
How Warm is it Inside a Tauntaun? (SW Humor!)

vizionblind's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 10:39 PM | #1

tee hee

ocping's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 10:41 PM | #2
Darth Vader and Luke.
Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"
Luke exclaims "But how??!?"
"It's true Luke, *breath* I know what you're getting for Christmas."
Luke tries to ignore this, but tears himself free, screaming "How could you know this?!"
Vader replies, "I felt your presents."

Andryah's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 10:44 PM | #3
Quote: Originally Posted by vizionblind View Post

tee hee
OK, you got me.... I LOLed.
Current use of smartphones and computers have already become such a part of who we are to which he sees them as an extension of everyday life that makes us “cyborgs. Further, AI is a serious potential risk to the future of humanity.
- Elon Musk

vizionblind's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 11:25 PM | #4
hehe thanks

Skoobie's Avatar

02.08.2012 , 11:28 PM | #5
Aurrelio: Thank you!

Alright folks, let's hear 'em...your best (and probably worse) Star Wars jokes!

and um...keep it clean!

Shiva's Avatar

02.09.2012 , 11:28 AM | #6
I read it first when Phantom Menace came out, it's still one of my favourite pieces of SW humor, so here it is - the super secret extended I AM YOUR FATHER scene from ESB:

The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition


A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing

LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No... I am your father!
Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.
Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Luke: NO!
Darth Vader: Yes, it is true, and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke: Threepio?
Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...
Luke: No...!
Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.
Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!
Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single- handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!
Luke: Well, it's not my fault...
Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
Luke: Shut up...
Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!
Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.
Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!

{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose son you are, but you sure ain't mine...

{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}

{Darth Vader looks after him.}

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

ErikModi's Avatar

02.09.2012 , 11:57 AM | #7
An oldie but a goldie:

Why is duct tape like the Force?
It is a light side, a dark side, and it "binds the galaxy together."
Jedi vs. Sith, Page 97, column 2, paragraph 4, line 1:

Prior to the Battle of Ruusan, the Jedi used crystals from many different sources, and ignited lightsabers in every known hue, including purple, orange, and gold.

Amaste's Avatar

02.09.2012 , 12:38 PM | #8
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

*ba dum tsk*

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