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Gentlemen, Please Sith Down


mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.07.2012 , 07:33 PM | #1
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: Office furnishings

May I offer my office's heartfelt congratulations on your recent promotion. We are certain you will be an asset to His Imperial Majesty's government and we will endeavour to accommodate your every desire.

As you are no doubt aware, the Empire has strict rules as to what furniture is appropriate for Sith of your rank. To that end, per Imperial Proscript 12-456-B(6), we have removed all inappropriate furniture from your office and dwelling and have expedited the delivery of your new furniture.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Deputy Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: ISSB(furn.)
DOFS(eq)
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.07.2012 , 07:37 PM | #2
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: Office furnishings

My lord,

Please accept my humblest apologies about your current situation. However, we are bound by the Emperor's Will and until he changes his proscripts we must act accordingly. We fully understand that neither your apartment nor your office are currently furnished, but we are helpless in this matter. The law forbids you to use furniture designated for lesser beings. Rest assured I have personally sent a message to the distribution center urging their prompt action in this matter.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Executive Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: DistrCent 14-153(EB)
ISS(ASL)
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.07.2012 , 07:41 PM | #3
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: Office furnishings

My lord,

We were most taken aback by the tone of your last communication. You have received your rank appropriate furniture faster than any Sith lord in recent memory. I can assure your lordship that four planetary months is unheard of speed in the Imperial Service. Further, our inventory of chairs suitable for your lordship is completely exhausted. Rest assured we have sent an urgent note to the manufacturer urging their prompt attention on this matter.

By way of apology I am enclosing a souvenir holocron of our beloved Ruler.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Deputy Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: ISSS(IBS)
GRFS(wss)
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.08.2012 , 02:16 AM | #4
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: Office furnishings

My lord,

There are members of the Dark Council who have not received their executive chairs. I can assure your lordship that you are not exceptional in that regard. We, and you, are bound by Imperial law as set down by the Emperor himself. Unless and until he rescinds his decree we all have to make do. The Emperor ordered us to only use chairs from one particular company for Sith lords. We have done so.

I have attached a copy of the most recent letter this department has sent to the manufacturer in question, Tarexchaco, Inc. Your lordship may rest assured that everything possible has been done on our end.

By way of apology I am enclosing a souvenir holocron of our beloved Ruler.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Deputy Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: ISSS(SIA)
IWMS(cfd)
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.15.2012 , 02:27 PM | #5
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: Good news

My lord,

I have excellent news! One of junior members of our department has made a discovery that affects you directly. It seems that when the Emperor classified all available office furnishings by rank he left unclassified one item, which is therefore available to all members of the Imperial bureaucracy regardless of rank.

It is with great pleasure I take pride in assuring you that your new Bantha milking stool should arrive in the next week.

In honour of this achievement, I am enclosing a celebratory holocron of our beloved Ruler.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Deputy Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: ISSS(CYA)
HCS
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

Greywatch's Avatar


Greywatch
02.16.2012 , 05:54 AM | #6
Pfahahaha, I'm in stitches xD

Poor Sith lord.

Meluna's Avatar


Meluna
02.21.2012 , 03:14 PM | #7
Hi there, mousestalker! I just wanted to pop in and say this was a blast to read. Looking forward to seeing more of the furniture debacle.

We love seeing the creative and interesting pieces you guys are working on. Keep up the good work, everyone! (Yes, we do read this forum! )

Kabjat's Avatar


Kabjat
02.21.2012 , 03:26 PM | #8
This is so freakin funny....and I am afraid I missed the original reference. And it was still funny O.o
Quote: Originally Posted by Thaltom View Post
Are you playing TOR on an Atari Potato?

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.22.2012 , 08:49 AM | #9
@Meluna, Kabjat and Greywatch, thank you very much!
May the mass x acceleration be with you.

mousestalker's Avatar


mousestalker
02.22.2012 , 08:55 AM | #10
To: Darth Savanter
From: Deputy Secretary, Imperial Distribution and Supplies (Executive Branch)
Re: A suggestion
My lord,

I understand your feelings when Darth Morosa inherited her former master's furnishings. He did indeed have a lovely chair. And she is lower than you on the priority list. But what happened with her is in accordance with both Imperial tradition and our regulations.

Darth Morosa poisoned her former master's tea. She then laid out the full extent of his treason before the Council. Under the circumstances she received his executive chair, rolltop desk, executive meeting table and occasional furniture complete with sofa, loveseat and eight board chairs as a reward for her patriotism.

You ascended to executive status by peaceful means.

By way of commiseration I am enclosing a souvenir holocron of our beloved Ruler.

Glory to the Emperor!

Egret Reconcil
Deputy Secretary, IDAS(EB)

cc: ISCS(FSIA)
IYNMS(mns)
May the mass x acceleration be with you.