Back from the dead, for your reading pleasure!

Why Stargate is better than Star Wars

1. MacGuyver

2. No cute little kiddies.

3. Set in the present.

4. Not designed to sell moar merch.

5. Intergalactic travel.

6. Samantha Carter is hotter than Leia.

7. Lou Diamond Phillips.

8. No Hayden Christensen.

9. Ties to human mythology are epic.

10. That guy from The Full Monty.

Why Macs are better than Star Wars

1. Integrated Bluetooth compatibility with PS3 controller.

2. No Hayden Christensen.

3. Final Cut Pro

4. No Jar Jar Binks

5. Better graphics.

6. Steve Jobs could beat up George Lucas (update: this is still true)

7. Display screens not designed by wall-eyed Calimari.

8. The Macbook Pro looks cooler than R2-D2.

9. Can display Star Trek backgrounds.

10. State-of-the-art, not some garbage designed a long time ago in some trailer park far far away.

Why Star Trek is better than Star Wars

1. Captain Kirk

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Captain Picard

4. No Jar-Jar Binks

5. Spock

6. No Ahsoka Tano

7. Ships named Enterprise

8. No crappy prequels. Bold-faced lies are fun.

9. KHAAAAAAAN!!!

10. Gene Roddenberry died before his franchise went to crap.

11. George Lucas didn't.

Why Barbarella is better than Star Wars

1. Better costumes

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Making love the "old-fashioned way"

4. The Excessive Machine

5. No Jar Jar Binks

6. The Great Tyrant

7. Dolls that possess sharp teeth capable of biting

8. Sogo's one big party

9. Inspired Duran Duran

10. Didn't inspire Nerf Herder

Why Starship Troopers is better than Star Wars

1. Denise Richards

2. No Hayden Christensen.

3. Michael Ironside

4. Story about our future, not some random people in some random galaxy that we can't relate to (especially the aliens: our heroes need to have a human face).

5. Communal showers

6. Doogie Howser.

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. Aliens are clearly identified as the enemy. There's no confusion here.

9. Bugs splode good.

10. Lightsabers are "elegant weapons", Morita assault rifles are for killin'.

Why A Christmas Story is better than Star Wars

1. Fragile Leg Lamp

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. A Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.

4. Scut Farkus' yellow eyes

5. No Jar Jar Binks

6. You'll shoot your eye out

7. Triple Dog Dares

8. Black Bart

9. Roast Duck

10. Fudge

Why Farscape is better than Star Wars

1. Sikozu

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Chiana

4. Zhaan

5. Grayza

6. No Jar Jar Binks

7. Aeryn Sun is hotter than Leia.

8. Leviathans

9. Scorpius

10. I'd rather have a Luxan sidekick than a Wookiee sidekick, 'specially if they have an Eradicator.

Why Exosquad is better than Star Wars

1. E-Frames

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Nara Burns is way hotter than Leia.

4. Gritty realism.

5. Not afraid to kill off main heroes.

6. No Jar Jar Binks.

7. Neosapiens are better than Wookiees.

8. Hitler-esque villainy, not cartoonish evil overlord villainy.

9. J.T. Marsh could take down Vader, Boba, Jango and Starkiller...all at the same time.

10. It ended before it could go to crap.

Why Doctor Who is better than Star Wars

1. TARDIS

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Daleks

4. Billie Piper UPDATE: HOLY CRAP KAREN GILLAN!

5. Sonic screwdriver

6. K-9 would turn R2 into scrap.

7. Regeneration, baby!

8. Captain Jack

9. Spinoff that isn't a crap kid's cartoon

10. EXTERMINATE!

Why The Fifth Element is better than Star Wars

1. Sexier blue aliens.

2. No Hayden Christensen.

3. Milla Jovovich is way hotter than Leia.

4. Deebo.

5. Auto-wash.

6. Chris Tucker is marginally less annoying than Jar Jar Binks.

7. Korben Dallas makes Han Solo look like a sissy.

8. Mangalores look much cooler than any Star Wars aliens.

9. Better action sequences.

10. Gary Oldman.

Why Battlestar Galactica (RDM) is better than Star Wars

1. Edward James Olmos

2. Gritty, character-driven storytelling

3. No Hayden Christensen

4. Battlestar Galactica

5. Starbuck and Apollo could take out all of Rogue Squadron by themselves. With bullets.

6 is way hotter than Leia

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. Vipers > X-Wings

9. Robotic enemies that don't act like idiot comic relief

10. Dee: more shocking than "I am your father"

Why Babylon 5 is better than Star Wars

1. Whitestars and Star Furies

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. A coherent plot that they didn't make up as they went along

4. Lyta Alexander is way hotter than Leia

5. Space combat using the advantages of space combat

6. Citizen G'Kar

7. Bruce Boxleitner

8. No Jar Jar Binks

9. Rangers

10. "Now get the hell out of our galaxy!"

Why Firefly is better than Star Wars

1. Han Solo fantasizes about being Mal

2. Serenity is much cooler than the Falcon

3. No Hayden Christensen

4. Jewel Staite, Morena Baccarin, Summer Glau and Gina Torres: all hotter than Leia

5. The Ballad of Jayne Cobb

6. Cancelled before the creator lost his mind

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. Reavers

9. Space Western > Space Opera

10. "That sounds like something out of science fiction." "We live in a spaceship, dear."

Why the DCU is better than Star Wars

1. Power Girl

2. The Batman

3. No Hayden Christensen

4. Superman makes a chump out of Starkiller (Okay, not true; Starkiller was already a chump)

5. Mark Hamill's Joker >> Mark Hamill's Luke

6. Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Batgirl, Wonder Woman...

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. Aquaman: less lame than midichloreans

9. Vader has a glowstick. The Green Lantern has a freakin' glowfist.

10. Watchmen. Yup, they're DC. Deal with it.

Why the Marvel Universe is better than Star Wars

1. Black Cat

2. Spider-man

3. No Hayden Christensen

4. Stan "Frickin'" Lee >> George "Tons 'O Fun" Lucas

5. The Ultimates: Making something for the new fans without taking a steaming **** on everything that came before

6. Jean Grey, Emma Frost, Elektra, Enchantress, She-Hulk...

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. The Astonishing X-Men

9. Alcoholic heroes, drug addicted heroes, abusive heroes, anti-heroes: real people with real issues and believable personalities that don't just wake up one day and start killing younglings

10.

Why Spaceballs is better than Star Wars

1. Charlene and Marlene: the Doublemint Twins

2. "Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

3. "Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?" "Ah, buckle this! Ludicrous speed, GO!!!"

4. "What the hell was that?" "Spaceball One! They've gone to plaid!"

5. "Moichandising, moichandising! Where the real money from the movie is made! Spaceballs The T-Shirt, Spaceballs The Coloring Book, Spaceballs The Lunchbox, Spaceballs The Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs The FLAMETHROWER!!! The kids love this one."

6. "Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess." "Funny, she doesn't look Druish."

7. "Dear me, what are those things coming out of her nose?" "SPACEBALLS?" "Oh ****. There goes the planet."

8. "What hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?" "Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that is happening now is happening now." "What happened to then?" "We passed then." "When?" "Just now. We're at now now." "Go back to then." "When?" "Now." "Now?" "Now!" "I can't!" "Why?" "We missed it." "When?" "Just now." "When will then be now?" "Soon."

9. "Keep firing, ********!"

10. No Jar Jar Binks or Hayden Christensen.

Why Capcom is better than Star Wars

1. Mega Man.

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix - Lucas don't know jack about Special Editions

4. Han would shoot first...Dante would shoot last

5. Viewtiful Joe

6. Resident Evil

7. Chun-Li, Cammy, Crimson Viper, Felicia, Morrigan, Sexy Silvia...

8. No Jar Jar Binks

9. Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo: More re-playability than any Star Wars title ever in the history of ever. EVER.

10. They hold their own against Marvel characters. And we've already established that Marvel is better than Star Wars.

Why The Last Starfighter is better than Star Wars

1. Catherine Mary Stewart

2. Death Blossom

3. No Hayden Christensen

4. CGI graphics, 13 years before Lucas turned them into a four-letter word

5. Robert Preston AKA The Music Man

6. When you really need an excuse to go play with the boys: Beta units

7. No Jar Jar Binks

8. Grig: like Bossk, but funny

9. "You mean they're dead?" "Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil, in another dimension."

10. Gave a generation of gamers hope that their hours in the arcade would be worth something someday

Why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is better than Star Wars

1. Sarah Michelle Gellar

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. The Chosen One's a tough *****, not a whiny *****.

4. Charisma Carpenter.

5. Spike

6. Charisma Carpenter. This repeat is not in error. Where where you in June 2004?

7. Lesbians exist in the Buffyverse. The naughty ones wear leather.

8. No Jar Jar Binks

9. Creator never stopped being brilliant.

10. Happily ever afters are for chumps and Ewoks.

Why Lexx is better than Star Wars

No, not really. I can't back that one up.

ReiKai:

Why the Princess Bride is better than Star Wars

1. Dread Pirate Roberts!

2. Andre the Giant

3. Billy Crystal

4. Robin Wright as Buttercup is hotter than Leia

5. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father...prepare to die."

6. Peter Faulk narration.

7. Cary Elwes as Westley "As you wish"

8. ROUS'

9. "Iocane, I bet my life on it!"

10. Actual sword fight with SWORDS!

 

Sayitbackwards:

Why Gundam is better then star wars.

1. No annoying flame wars about dumb canon.

2. Friggin GUNDAMS!!!!

3. Yoshiyuki "Kill em all" Tomino >> Everything

4. New series that have something for everyone

5. Haro Is 100% Better then R2-Whoyou and See teepee O

6. No stupid looking aliens

7. GUNDAMS

8. Awesome memes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnVCYOUB0gY

9. No Flywalkers.

10. Did I mention gundams?

 

Joshmaul:

1)Five words: Nick Stokes kills Justin Bieber. (Yes, I had to.)

2)No Hayden Christensen - though it did have Justin Bieber (but they killed him, so it's all good).

3)Sara and Catherine are hotter than Leia.

4)Gil Grissom doesn't need the Force to figure stuff out - imagine how he'd do if he was a Jedi?

5)The spinoffs are just as good as the original. Know anyone else who can say that?

6)Laurence Fishburne. Granted, Ray Langston's no Gil Grissom, but where can you go wrong with Fishburne?

...I admit, that's all I can come up with, lol.

No Hayden Christiansen

No Jar Jar Binks

I think I found a common theme.

I think I found a common theme.

Curses. They're on to me.

Why Game of Thrones is better than Star Wars:

1) Esme Bianco - hotter than Leia and Padme together.

2) Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister

3) Maisie Williams as Arya Stark

4) Characters that are more than cardboard-cutouts (see #2 and #3 for good examples)

5) Based on books by someone who knows how to tell a story

6) No Jar Jar

7) No Hayden Christensen

8) Cersei Lannister and Joffrey Baratheon = villains that an audience can hate and understand

9) Emilia Clarke - hotter than Leia and Padme together even before she goes nude.

10) Khal Drogo = super ******

This is fun, so I think I'll do another.

Why Dune is better than Star Wars:

1. Frank Herbert is a better writer than Lucas will ever be, and he's dead.

2. Characters are richly developed. We learn more about Glossu Rabban than we ever do about General Grievous, and he's a minor character who only appears in 1 chapter of the book.

3. Lady Jessica could take both Leia and Padme easily thanks to her Bene Gesserit training.

4. Sardaukar > Clone troopers and battle droids.

5. Fremen > Sardaukar > Clone troopers and battle droids.

6. Paul Atreides = more intelligent at 14 than Anakin Skywalker ever is throughout the PT.

7. Melange > death sticks. Death sticks don't allow you to see into the future.

8. House Corrino ruled the universe far longer than Palpatine.

9. Folding space > hyperspace for space travel.

10. Baron Harkonnen is a better villain than Dooku, Maul, and Grievous combined.

 

Why The Fifth Element is better than Star Wars

 

3. Milla Jovovich is way hotter than Leia.

Lies! Damn lies!

She, Juliette Lewis and Cameron Diaz are top 3 on my list of "Actresses who keep getting work in Hollywood even though their face looks like a bucket of smashed a**holes and they have the body of a 10 year old boy".

The creator of "Firefly" and the creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is the same person.

FOX executives canceled "Firefly" because they did not like it, not because the creator went crazy.

Don't bash the actors, it was GL's directing.

I've seen other Hayden's work and Natalie's work, Ewan was the only good one in the prequels and he has other good work.

If you watch the actors work and then watch SW, you realize it was GL's fault.

The creator of "Firefly" and the creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is the same person.

 

FOX executives canceled "Firefly" because they did not like it, not because the creator went crazy.

Hence "cancelled before the creator lost his mind."

Why Robotech/Macross is better than Star Wars

1. Robotech has Veritech Fighters
   
2. The good guy's capital ship transforms into a giant robot (SDF-1)
   
3. The good guys are the ones with the super laser (on the SDF-1)
   
4. The god guys have one Capital Ship, the bad guys have millions. The good guys still win.
   
5. The bad guys are 50 foot giants and are bred for war.
   
6. The good guys aren't whiney (Ala Anikin/Luke)
   
7. The main character love triangle doesn't involve incest
   
8. The bad guys have women in their ranks... and they are the most deadly
   
9. You can fold space itself in Robotech to travel across the galaxy in minutes.
   
10. In Robotech the love is what turned bad guys good and saved humanity, in Star Wars love turned good guys bad and killed off the Jedi.
    

Why Robotech/Macross is better than Star Wars

 

1. Robotech has Veritech Fighters
   
2. The good guy's capital ship transforms into a giant robot (SDF-1)
   
3. The good guys are the ones with the super laser (on the SDF-1)
   
4. The god guys have one Capital Ship, the bad guys have millions. The good guys still win.
   
5. The bad guys are 50 foot giants and are bred for war.
   
6. The good guys aren't whiney (Ala Anikin/Luke)
   
7. The main character love triangle doesn't involve incest
   
8. The bad guys have women in their ranks... and they are the most deadly
   
9. You can fold space itself in Robotech to travel across the galaxy in minutes.
   
10. In Robotech the love is what turned bad guys good and saved humanity, in Star Wars love turned good guys bad and killed off the Jedi.
    

Rick and Minmei could be pretty whiny at times, actually, though nowhere near as bad as Anakin. Otherwise, I like this list.

You put Kirk two places above Picard?

Troll thread.

Why Doctor Who is better than Star Wars

1. TARDIS

2. No Hayden Christensen

3. Daleks

4. Billie Piper UPDATE: HOLY CRAP KAREN GILLAN!

5. Sonic screwdriver

6. K-9 would turn R2 into scrap.

7. Regeneration, baby!

8. Captain Jack

9. Spinoff that isn't a crap kid's cartoon

10. EXTERMINATE!

On the other hand: 4 series having to put up with Rose Tyler...

You put Kirk two places above Picard?

 

Troll thread.

Can't mess with the cadence. It's like poetry. It rhymes.

*snicker*

Why The Lord of the Rings is better than Star Wars

1: Hobbits.

2: Swords & Bows > Lightsabers & Blasters

3: Aragorn is Gondor's King. Han Solo is not.

4: Arwen is hotter than Leia

5: No Jar Jar Binks

6: Gollum

7: Tolkien knew how to write well. GL does not.

8: Sauron

9: No Hayden Christensen

10: Every female in the works of Tolkien are better-looking than any female in SW.

11: Gimli, Son of Glõin > C3P0 & R2D2.

12: The Mines of Moria > Korriban.

13: Gimli's Beard