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The Lost Archives of a Sith Warrior

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content > Fan Fiction
The Lost Archives of a Sith Warrior

Arianwin's Avatar

02.19.2012 , 04:44 PM | #21
"Passion unlocks power."—Arianwin D'yer

I adjusted the scrap of silk covering my eyes. The world around me disappeared.

A gust of wind blew through the courtyard, flowing over and around me like a lover's caress. The smell of fresh blood lingered in the air. Our troops were still cleaning up the destruction I'd left behind at House Organa.

Guards chattered off to one side. The familiar roar of engines told me a shipment of weapons would be arriving soon. When the wind blew past an abandoned droid, its hollow body sung a low dirge.

Something had happened to me on Tatooine. The constant wailing in my head still kept me up at night but the tortured aching had disappeared. I'd discovered I could dial down the volume of my Force sensitivity until the glare of the galaxy's vibrations lost its razor-sharp edge.

Like a child taking her first steps, my awareness slowly expanded until I was seeing the world's essence for the first time. Edges wavered. Movements blurred. A leaf dropped to the ground, leaving behind rippling currents in the air.

It was with this new way of seeing that I finally saw the dormant power lying within Quinn. The currents that preceded him pulsed with a beat that resonated with something inside me. My Captain moved with purpose, his long stride eating up the distance between us. When he turned the corner, it was like figuring out the answer to a riddle plaguing me for years.

In a world filled with faded hues, vibrant colors swirled around his form. Their brilliance undiminished by bright waves of energy emanating from him. His essence composed of hard lines and sharp angles that somehow remained remarkably clear in a sea of fog.

I knew the exact moment he saw me. The energy around him froze, and dark purples and blues began to churn beneath his surface. He who prided himself on absolute control hid a maelstrom of conflicted emotions from the rest of the world. Seeing him in this new light excited me, and I vowed he would soon surrender to those emotions.

I picked up the training swords I'd brought with me. Their padded lengths felt dull in my hands. Heavy. Lifeless.

"Quinn!" My voice rang through the courtyard. "Attack me."

He looked at me with confusion.

"Captain Malavai Quinn," I snapped. "Your superior officer orders you to attac—"

He fired his blaster.

I didn't have time to think. My body reacted purely on instinct. I deflected his attack, forgetting that I was holding wooden swords instead of lightsabers. Both swords shattered. Wood chips exploded into the air. By the time I realized my mistake, there was nothing I could do but brace myself for the crippling blow.

Knowing Quinn, I expected nothing less than for him to shoot with intent to kill. The burst of energy from his blaster aimed straight for my heart.

In the face of death, the world flickered on and off. The film that covered my eyes burned away, and I saw thousands upon thousands of energy strands swirling around me. They tore through me, burrowed inside, pulled me apart. My own edges began to blur until I flickered along with the world. My body disappeared, the tangible bits and parts of me merging with each energy strand swimming in the air

Instinctively, I flowed around the rapidly approaching beam of energy so its path burned a trail through my chest without harm. My mind froze when I realized what I'd just done. The thrill of harnessing such raw power breathed life into my flesh and bones. My awareness snapped back into my body, and I re-coalesced several feet away from where I originally stood.

"Is that the best you can do?" I laughed. Stalking towards Quinn, I challenged him with a growl. "Captain, how dare you underestimate me."

His face tightened. In one smooth motion, he holstered his gun and waited for me to approach. I could hear his heart beating with adrenaline. The faintest quiver in his energy spoke of dread anticipation for the fight to come.

Something spark to life within him. He lunged at me, knife in hand.

I scoffed. He'd have to do better than that. My arm snaked around his wrist and pulled him past me. A slight twist spun him around. His own momentum caused him to stumble.

"How will you defeat the Empire's enemies if you can't even beat me?" I taunted.

He caught his balance and spun around to face me. His eyes blazed a brilliant blue. The air around him began to bleed red.

I waited for him to try again.

Quinn stabbed downward with his knife. Better. I could feel the strength in him surge against me. But not good enough. My forearm struck the crook of his elbow, and I stepped into his embrace. We stood face to face, the point of his knife inches from my eye.

My lips brushed against his ear, and I breathed him in. He was sweat mingled with metallic fire and ash across a devastated landscape. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end when his energy called to me. Heat pooled at the pit of my stomach.

Quinn pulled me towards him, slamming his lips against mine. My energy bucked like a wild thing. I bit him hard enough to draw blood but he refused to release me, the heat of his body demanding that I yield to him.

Yes, oh yes.

All coherent thought flew out of my head when he nudged my legs apart with his thigh. He gripped my wrists with one hand, restraining them against my back. The feel of him between my legs drove me crazy.

Without warning, I found myself lying on the ground. His legs pinned me down. His knife pressed against my throat.

"I think I found your weakness." He chuckled. Threading his fingers through my blindfold, he ripped it away.

"I'm not convinced," I breathed. His eyes shone with a darkness that hadn't been there before. It mesmerized me. "We should explore your theory further just to make sure."

Propping himself up on one elbow, he looked down at me. The expression on his face grew serious. "Any personal involvement between us could cloud judgement and compromise campaigns."

"I like taking risks," I purred. Arching my back, I rubbed my body against his.

I allowed my energy to fuse with his until he could feel me pulsate around his length. His eyes grew darker. His jaw clenched. But before I could take advantage of the way his body responded so readily to mine, my personal holocommunicator buzzed.

We broke apart. The shuttered expression on Quinn's face told me our discussion was over…for now.

Gwuzz's Avatar

02.21.2012 , 02:09 AM | #22
I like it, good work

Arianwin's Avatar

03.03.2012 , 05:18 PM | #23
"For the Empire!"—Arianwin D'yer

Quinn staggered to his feet, knocking over a half-empty bottle of Corellian whisky. It rolled towards me. The rhythmic clanking of glass against metal stopped when I nudged it with my foot.

"Enjoying your night off, Captain?" I wondered how long Quinn had been sitting in the dark by himself. Judging by the distinct smell of whisky lingering throughout the bridge, he'd been at it for a while.

"Forgive me for the intrusion, my Lord." Despite his inebriated state, Quinn remained remarkably composed. He carefully pronounced each syllable with extreme precision to keep from slurring his words. "I didn't expect to see you on board tonight."

"Neither did I."

An awkward silence descended. My insides twitched.

Baras had granted us leave to celebrate our most recent victory against Nomen Karr. When I argued against taking time away from fighting our enemies, he'd transferred an obscene amount of credits into my account and insisted I take the time to upgrade Fury with the best the Empire had to offer.

I'd finally agreed to remain docked at the Imperial Fleet for several days. At the very least, the time off had given me the opportunity to introduce Jaessa to one of life's sweetest pleasures: torturing Republic prisoners for vital military secrets. I'd been pleased to see how fast she picked up the finer points of interrogation. No doubt she was now burning her way through each prison cell with wild abandon. Woe betide to any man, woman, or alien standing in the way of my Apprentice's growing hunger.

I'd intended to spend the night alone on board Fury. The bustling crowds had left me yearning for solitude, and my hands ached to test out Fury's new upgrades. I thought I had the ship to myself. After all, Vette wouldn't be back for another three days, and Quinn had supposedly taken a shuttle to meet up with an old military friend.

Instead, my Captain now stood somewhat unsteadily in front of me. I inspected him from head to toe. "Is everything alright, Captain?"

He flinched. A spark of anger leaped into his eyes. "Permission to speak freely."


"I wish to be reassigned."

Quinn's words struck me hard. I clenched my fist, forcing myself to remain still. "And what of your promise to serve me? Do your vows mean so little to you, Captain?"

"No. I—" He rubbed a hand over his face. "My Lord, I am compromised."

I suddenly wanted to choke him until he fell to his knees. "Compromised by whom?"

"By you!" Quinn snarled. Breathing heavily, he began to pace back and forth. "As a military man, I value discipline, the chain of command, and uncompromising dedication to serving the Empire's interest but you make my path less clear."

"We share the same desire to make the most profound impact possible for the Empire. I do not see the problem."

He narrowed the gap between us. Putting his face right up against mine, he gripped my arms hard enough to hurt. "Thoughts of you have begun to distract me. I find myself fighting for you instead of the Empire."

I was close enough to smell the whiskey on his breath but the feverish panic in his eyes distracted me more. My Captain, if nothing else, was a profoundly reliable man. It disturbed me to see him so unhinged. Reaching out a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow, I leaned in to steady him. "You've forgotten the reason why you fight this war."

"Precisely, my Lord."

If only Quinn understood the way to rise above this weakness was to embrace the emotions he hated to feel. My Captain needed to remember the thrill of striking fear into the heart of his enemies. He needed to remember the joy of his first kill.

I wordlessly slid into the pilot's chair. Fury shuddered to life, her engines roaring as pistons fired and fuel pumped through her metallic veins. Within moments, we were airborne.

Once away from the endless stream of Imperial traffic, I set Fury's engines to neutral. She hiccuped in protest but eventually subsided into a drowsy hum.

I offered Quinn my hand. "Do you trust me?"

Despite the uncertainty in his eyes, he took my hand. His grip was strong; the palm of his hand rough and warm against mine.

I led him through Fury, stopping only when we reached the airlock. My hand tightened around his. "Whatever you do," I warned. "Don't let go."

Quinn paled when he saw me initiate the decompression sequence.

"Hold on," I yelled over the deafening sound of air being sucked into space.

I pulled Quinn into my embrace. His arms wrapped around me, and he buried his face into my hair. Even in the middle of chaos, his strength never wavered. The noise in my head faded until the only thing I felt was him.

The feel of his heart beating in time with mine touched something deep inside me. How odd to be so moved by such a simple thing.

I relaxed against him and tapped into the Force, calling forth a shimmering blue bubble. I pulled at it with my will until it stretched large enough to surround us both. When it snapped into place, it sealed enough air in with us to last a while.

The hatch doors hissed open.

Silence. There was only silence as the noise of the living fell away. Quinn peered out into the wide expanse of space in awe. The expression on his face mesmerized me, and I suddenly realized I would do anything, be anything, to keep him safe.

This man was mine, and I was his. For as long as we both lived, I would kiss death a thousand times to keep him by my side. I trembled at the knowledge that he held so much power over me. It felt wrong yet so terribly right that I dared not make a sound for fear of losing my mind.

Instead, I tugged his hand and motioned for him to follow. The gravity belt around my waist kept my feet firmly planted against Fury even as we climbed our way onto her hull.

"You want to know what we fight for?" I asked once we made it safely to the top. My voice sounded muffled within the confines of the bubble.

Quinn looked to where I pointed. The might of the Empire lay before us, the Imperial Fleet glowing like a beacon of light. It's sheer size and multi-layered functional design was a testament to Imperial strength and ingenuity.

"We fight to win."

"No matter the cost."

I watched as emotions flickered over his face. They weren't the ones I expected. Instead, I saw pain, regret, acceptance. Before I could question him further, he turned towards me with a renewed look of conviction in his eyes.

"This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, my Lord." He bowed low. "You honor me."

"If you still wish to be reassi—"

He kissed me softly as if he cherished me. "You've set my mind at ease. I now know my place in this world."

"Your place is with me."


With that single word, I found myself faced with a choice. Should I choose to throw myself over the rocky precipice of ambition, all the power in the world would soon be within my grasp, and the universe would one day tremble at my feet. But tonight, sheltered in my Captain's arms, I found myself turning away from the tenets I'd followed my entire life.

We Sith deal in absolutes. In a world filled with black and white, we burn in the moment, cater to our own selfish desires, and sacrifice the now for the promise of power in the future.

But I knew this lingering call of the void would lead me to damnation. For if I must burn, then let me burn for him. If I must leap, then let it be into his arms. If I must become unborn, then let my conviction be grounded in the depth and breadth of this single kiss.

I pulled his head towards me, craving the touch of his lips against mine. I yearned to taste him, to feel his tongue dance over my skin. I needed him to mark me the way my master had done.

[Note from the author: Things get a little steamy for the rest of this chapter. If you want to keep going, I've posted the full version here.]

Arianwin's Avatar

03.13.2012 , 04:35 PM | #24
"Defy me, and it will end badly."—Arianwin D'yer

Betrayal. It turns us into fools. Sharper than a knife, stronger than the Force, betrayal rips you apart from the inside out. Your secrets lie exposed like eviscerated flesh for all the world to see. But without betrayal, we are nothing. This beautiful agony slashes at your veins until you bleed out the sins of your mortal soul. In the ashes of your death, you become reborn.

On the day I died, the first betrayal destroyed my ship. I'd felt Fury's angry howl before an immense explosion ripped her apart. She who flew with me to the farthest reaches of the galaxy and showed me the meaning of true freedom died that day.

The second betrayal came at the hand of my master's apprentice. Lying in the smoldering rubble that once was my ship, my hands fumbled to defend myself. My weakness infuriated me, drowned me in self-loathing. As Draagh's saber descended, I looked into his eyes and saw death.

Betrayal. It escapes you when you look for it but blindsides you when you turn away. In the place where shame and grace collide, I remembered the way my Captain's hands had gripped my thighs, the way his lips had claimed my body for his own. Like a weak-willed acolyte, I'd allowed him to touch the deepest part of me.

My Captain had planted the bomb that destroyed my ship. He'd given my enemies the coordinates to find me. His misplaced sense of honor had chosen Baras, and in so doing, had presented Draagh with the perfect opportunity to kill both of us in one fell swoop.

Everything in me cried out for vengeance. Nothing but my Captain's pain would set me free.

And yet.

And yet.

No matter how I tried, my traitorous heart refused to move. Even as hands pulled me away, I continued to claw at Quinn's unconscious form. I felt his mind slip away, heard his heart stop beating. Panic shackled the Force within, and my hate deserted me.

This third and final betrayal extinguished my will to live. It left me with nothing, and I sank into Death's waiting embrace.

Arianwin's Avatar

03.22.2012 , 10:25 PM | #25
"Pain will set you free." —Arianwin D'yer.

Pain greeted me like an old friend. She breathed against my skin and licked away my tears. I swam through darkness, floating in a sea of agony. Part of me struggled against her seductive pull. Like a siren's song, her wails lulled me into a stupor.

No! I screamed at her, fought against her. Despite the pounding in my head, I challenged her to do her worst. Vengeance infused my weakened limbs with renewed strength.

I opened my eyes. The room hadn't changed but this cycle felt different. The chains that bound my wrists had been hooked onto a beam along the ceiling. I hung suspended in the air. Countless wounds had been reopened along my naked body, and blood steadily dripped down into the metallic tub below.

The lightwhip crackled in the air. Its hissing sound served as my only warning before pain lunged at me with claws extended. My body jerked. I tasted blood. The skin along my back already hung in strips of smoking flesh but still the lashing continued.

"Enough," Servant One said.

I bared my teeth at the unwelcome interruption. The Emperor's Hands had chosen to keep me alive after they'd killed Draagh. For four months, I had been beaten, drowned, and whipped without fail. Nothing in my body had been left untouched: bones broken, fingernails ripped, kneecaps twisted.

Their pathetic attempts to break my will left my body a bloodied mess but I simply endured. Pain was everything to a Sith. Each lash of the whip purged away the weakness of this flesh, and I wanted more.

The sharper the pain, the more vivid the memories of the lives I'd taken. I relieved their screams, heard their cries for mercy, experienced the precise moment when death finally came. Their ecstasy fluttered beneath my hands, and I saw their reverence for life in the whiteness of their eyes.

A weak laughter emerged from my throat. Nothing could break me as long as I had hate to sustain me. Everything the Emperor's Hands did to me, I vowed to do to Baras. Hell hath no fury like a Sith scorned, and so I watched and waited for a chance to escape.

My mind flickered to the presence growing inside my belly. No matter the cost, I would live to teach my daughter the ways of the Sith. Even now, I whispered to her the ancient Code, shared with her the hatred I'd learned throughout the years, and focused my Force to give her the life she needed to survive.

My daughter gave me a strength of purpose I had never known before. Without question, I would lay down my life to protect this child of mine, and I held this new-found emotion close to my heart.

"The Wrath is ready for ascension," Servant Two murmured.

I spat in his face. Whatever the Emperor wanted, I refused to be a part of it. Aside from Baras' death, I had only one calling left, and that was to see my daughter live.

Four men emerged from the shadows. They unchained my wrists and gently lowered me into the tub until I was half submerged in blood. Three of them held my body down. The fourth gripped my head tightly in his hands.

Servant One bent over me. He anointed my brow with a clear odorless liquid. "You are the last to survive the Emperior's Trial. Your will is strong but you have lost your way."

"The Wrath's heart is torn," Servant Two murmured.

"Pledge your allegiance to the Emperor," Servant One continued, "become His Wrath, and wield untold power over your enemies."

"Pain shall set the Emperor's Wrath free."

I heard the hiss of a match, smelled the acrid scent of smoke. Without warning, tears began to stream down my face. I knew what I had to become in order for my daughter to live through this day. The Emperor would demand all of me; there could be nothing left. I howled like an enraged beast at the sudden knowledge that my hunger for power would one day destroy my own daughter.

"Choose," Servant One commanded.

"The Wrath will ascend." Servant Two smiled. His eyes flickered down to my belly. "The Wrath's legacy will be complete."

My eyes met his, and an unspoken understanding passed between us. Become the Emperor's Wrath, and the Hand will protect my daughter. My path was suddenly clear.

"So be it."

My body bursted into flames. Searing pain tore me into chunks of agony as my skin blistered and burned. I thrashed against the hands that held me down. A high-pitched shriek escaped my lips.

Driven mad by the excruciating torment, my mind exploded outwards. Force rippled through the room, destroying everything it touched. I felt the four men around me die, and I drank in their deaths as if their souls could give me the clarity to rise above this dying body. Blistering energy pulsed in time to my thundering heartbeat. The fire around me burned a white-hot hue.

And I began to See.

Through the haze of pain, I tapped into the current of energy that ran through all living things. This web reverberated with perfect strength and perfect power. It freed me from the clutches of this mortal coil, and I discovered I could straddle the edges of galaxies and perceive the darkest secrets of man. Distance and time meant nothing to me. I breathed in the universe, and it breathed with me. My chains shattered, and the flames around me died.

I hummed with the pain of a thousand deaths writhing beneath my oozing flesh. No one would ever stand in my way again. Not Baras, not the Emperor, not even my unborn daughter could compare with this state of savage perfection that claimed my soul.

"Rise," Servant One commanded. "You have one more task to fulfill before the Emperor will accept you as his Wrath."

"The journey is incomplete," Servant Two murmured.

I frowned. "I will kill Baras."

Servant One shook his head. "The Emperor will unleash you against your former master soon."

"Then wha—"

"Captain Malavai Quinn is still alive."

"The Wrath's heart still lives," Servant Two intoned.

An old muscle twitched inside me as memories of my Captain resurfaced: the warmth of his hand against my cheek, his unyielding strength against the enemies of the Empire, the heat of him pulsing inside me. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"But he is not as he once was," Servant One continued, "just as you are not as you once were."

"The Wrath's heart is broken."

"But he's alive." My lips tightened. Quinn was my only weakness. The Code demanded retribution, and it was my right as Sith to wield the blade that would end his life.

Arianwin's Avatar

03.24.2012 , 02:37 AM | #26
"And so begins my legacy."—Arianwin Malav

He sat with his back towards me. Tense. Alert. The door clicked shut behind me.

Even through the walls, I could hear the confused whispers of the doctors and nurses around us. No one knew who I was. My form was shrouded to prevent infection from attacking the weeping scars along my skin.

My awareness sifted through the memories of a nearby nurse. She had never treated Quinn directly but knew of him. Imperial soldiers had found him half buried in rubble clinging stubbornly to life. Recovery had been slow; she'd heard he was a difficult patient. A hollow smile flickered across my lips when I came across an incident involving Quinn and an alarming number of medical packs.

I measured the number of paces it would take for my hand to reach his throat. It would be so easy to choke the life out of him from where I stood but I wanted to look him in the eye when he died. He owed me that much at least.


He shot to his feet and spun around. The sudden motion disoriented him, and he cracked his shin against the chair.

I frowned when he angled his head to try to zero in on where I stood. Something was wrong. His hospital room was well-lit but his gaze remained unfocused. When I saw the deep scars around his eyes, I cursed. I would recognize the scorch marks left behind by a lightsaber anywhere. Draagh must've toyed with my Captain, blinded him, before leaving his body behind to rot.

Diving into Quinn's mind for answers, I teased apart the dark tendrils in his consciousness and found…nothing.

He was gone.

I flinched. His body may have healed but his memory had been permanently damaged. He barely remembered his own name, let alone the events that occurred over the last year.

"At ease," I barked. Whatever there was left of him, my Captain still retained some memory of being a military man. He visibly relaxed at my words.

I should've killed him right then and there but I remembered the darkness that surrounded Yonlach's creature back on Tattooine. Quinn's mind had been held captive then. Perhaps I could figure out a way to lift the sickness that gripped him now.

Pulling out a chair, I invited him to sit next to me. Something told me this was a darkness that couldn't be conquered by strength alone.

Instead, I began to tell him my life's story: my mother's death on Nar Shaddaa, the night I became Baras' apprentice, my victory over Rathari and Yonlach. I continued long after my lips began to peel and my voice grew hoarse.

And as I talked, I wandered through the empty labyrinth of his mind. Certain words would spark a response, and I focused on those particular memories that seemed to resonate with him.

I told him how I'd given him all of me the night he took me hard and fast against my ship. I talked about his betrayal, the crew's death, and Fury's destruction. Without mincing words, I told him he should've died a horrible death on Hoth. He cringed and began to wring his hands as if my words pained him.

When I told him about our daughter, his restlessness stilled.

"A daughter?" Quinn's voice cracked. "I have a daughter?"

His hands fumble for mine as he struggled to shake off the fog clouding his mind. To prove I was telling the truth, I placed his hand over my growing belly.

When he felt our daughter kick, he fell to his knees in front of me with a cry. His mind surged to life, and for a moment, I was held in thrall by the extent of his anguish. He buried his face into his hands as he grappled with the terrible knowledge of what he'd done. "My Lord, I've betrayed you and conspired with your most hated enemy. I don't expect your mercy."

I remained silent.

"But I beg of you, let me live long enough to hold my daughter in my arms. Permit me to stay in your charge, and you will never have cause to question my dedication again."

"You betrayed me once. I would be a fool to allow you to do it again."

"I will earn your trust," Quinn swore. "I will protect our daughter the way I should've protected you."

Coldness seeped into my soul. He would've foreseen the consequences of his betrayal. He would've known what his decision costed me, and he went through with it anyway.

"There's nothing we can't achieve together," Quinn continued. He leaned over and clumsily tried to embrace me. "Marry me, my Lord. After all we've been through, the good and the bad, you will never have cause to question my dedication to you and your legacy again."

He had no way of knowing how much his touch burned. Excruciating pain shot through me like my body had been set on fire again. As I sat shuddering within his arms, I felt the shadows whispering in his mind and knew his clarity would eventually disappear. It was only my presence that kept his sickness at bay but my Captain would soon be lost to the darkness again.

My fingers caressed his face, memorizing all the little details that would have to sustain me for the rest of my life. Pain mingled with regret when he pulled me against him as if he would never let me go.

"Marry me," Quinn breathed.

He pulled me onto his lap. For a moment, my body remembered the feel of him inside me, and I burned with a fever that rivaled the pain rippling across my skin.

"I will marry you, Quinn," I whispered.

I arched my back and rubbed against him. My mind joined with his, and we danced in the shadows of his memory with our souls entwined as one, our bodies whole and healthy without the scars from what was yet to come.

[Note from the author: Things get a little steamy for the rest of this chapter. If you want to keep going, I've posted the full version here. And this is the end of my fanfic by the way so hopefully you'll click on the link to finish the rest. If you've made it this far, I hope you enjoyed yourself. FOR THE EMPIRE! ]

The End

AquaticAncestral's Avatar

06.15.2013 , 02:19 AM | #27
Hey, you have brought some beautiful writing and deep messages to all of us. The opening of the story, of reflecting on how your character killed it's mother, ..... that was deep. Looking forward to reading more of your work. Thanks for sharing.