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Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > PvP
Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs

Zaodon's Avatar


Zaodon
01.09.2012 , 01:06 PM | #1
Welcome to Zaodon's PvP Guide to Crying for Nerfs!

The following is a guide you should follow whenever you want to create "Nerf (class goes here)" threads in this forum.

1. Have Selective Memory
If you see an opponent attacking a team mate and kill them easily, only to get ganked by that same opponent 2 minutes later when they pop out of nowhere and attack you while you're engaged with 3 other enemies and at 65% health with no cooldowns left, you need to engage in something called "Selective Memory". You must block out the fact that they were an easy kill a few moments ago, and only complain on the forums about how they easily killed you. Use the terms "insane", "overpowered", and "ridiculous" to make your point stick.

2. Ignorance is Bliss
Never go to fan websites, wiki's or other sources of information to learn about all classes, abilities and talents. Never. By remaining ignorant of the actual features of SWTOR, you can claim things that are simply untrue/impossible. Examples include "He knocked me down and landed 7 attacks before I got up", "I'm a lvl 50 tank-spec with 60 valor and full PvP gear and he 3-shotted me", or "I was chain-stunned by him 5 times in a row and died."

3. Wield Your Ego
Claim to be the absolute best player in the world at SWTOR and PvP. Provide examples of how you "pwned" 5 people at once the "other day", and how you scored in Huttball with "the entire other team beating on you". Then claim that the class you want to nerf can beat you at will, and therefore since you are sooooo "uber", there is no possible way they could defeat you unless their class was OP.

4. Deny Reality
Even though SWTOR PvP is team based, you must never, ever admit this, no matter what you do. Use the term "1v1" constantly, to the point of nauseum. Never admit that all Warzones are won or lost as a team.

5. Exploit n00bs
As with all MMOs, SWTOR will have a lot of players who are not great at PvP, but will enter Warzones to try it out for the fun of it. But, the reality is, these people are n00bs and will not be very good at it. Your job is to deny this, and claim that every single player in a PvP zone is an expert, who never makes mistakes, never does n00bish things, has perfect tactics and strategies, and is top ranked. When these "experts" are getting killed a lot in PvP (and make sure you have videos of this happening), use that as "evidence" that the class you want to nerf is "overpowered" because they must be if they are killing all these "PvP Vets".

6. Anecdotal Evidence is Key
If there is a class you want to nerf, be sure to get some screenshots or videos which show how "overpowered" they are. Even though these classes will routinely score near the bottom of the scoreboard, wait until you are in a match where coincidence has them at the top (preferably, #1), and screenshot/fraps it. Use this as your "evidence" that all players of that class are "OP" and lack skills and use the easy button, and claim they "always" score at the top. If someone posts screenshots/videos of that class scoring poorly, claim that their screenshot/video is "an aberration", and that yours is the case in "virtually all warzones."

Soazak's Avatar


Soazak
01.09.2012 , 01:08 PM | #2
Awesome,

and very true on these forums
Legions of Lettow (EU PvP)

Sorc, Marauder
Guardian, Scoundrel

Osiris_V's Avatar


Osiris_V
01.09.2012 , 01:18 PM | #3
Voted for best thread ever

Zaodon's Avatar


Zaodon
01.09.2012 , 01:40 PM | #4
Quote: Originally Posted by Osiris_V View Post
Voted for best thread ever
Thanks!

Silent_Storm's Avatar


Silent_Storm
01.09.2012 , 01:40 PM | #5
Thanks for letting me laugh while waiting in queue

NeonLights's Avatar


NeonLights
01.09.2012 , 01:41 PM | #6
This should be a sticky.
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tonpu's Avatar


tonpu
01.09.2012 , 01:44 PM | #7
NO, this thread is OP. BIOWARE please take a look at this thread and nerf it.

cyberaptor's Avatar


cyberaptor
01.09.2012 , 01:44 PM | #8
Right on the money, could't agree more!

And thanks for the laugh!
For the love of credits, the desire for glory, and the satisfaction of using high explosives, we are MERCENARY!

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Weasul's Avatar


Weasul
01.09.2012 , 01:45 PM | #9
Quote: Originally Posted by tonpu View Post
NO, this thread is OP. BIOWARE please take a look at this thread and nerf it.
I'm with this guy.

Too much truth, cannot handle it.

I'm uninstalling the game.

Jaku's Avatar


Jaku
01.09.2012 , 01:45 PM | #10
Man, brings me right back to the QQ about Bright Wizards in Warhammer.

People just needed to L2P, obviously.
"Your chances come in two shapes. Slim, and fat." - Mace Windu

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