Please upgrade your browser for the best possible experience.

Chrome Firefox Internet Explorer

The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content > Fan Fiction
The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

imperialmerc's Avatar

07.23.2012 , 08:01 PM | #81
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

BABY XALEK is propelling model swoops along the wooden model swoop track using little Force Lightning sparks. When he misses his control and accidentally roasts a swoop racer, he decides that that one was an unworthy swoop with a bad driver. Across the room, BABY KIRA and BABY ASHARA are laying out a strategy to distribute sunshine and warm cuddly safety to everybody in the galaxy. BABY JAESA, sitting in the middle, is paralyzed by indecision.
KHEM VAL approaches.
KHEM VAL: You do not play with the other children.
BABY JAESA: I just can't decide who to go with. Force Lightning is pretty cool. But so is ensuring peace and freedom for the good of us all.
KHEM VAL: Bah. That is your inherent weakness talking.
BABY JAESA: Hey. I'm not weak.
KHEM VAL: Yes, you are. You couldn't even decide which shoes to wear this morning. That's why you're wearing one boot and one slipper.
BABY JAESA: Maybe I was making a fashion statement.
KHEM VAL: Maybe you are a little fool.
BABY JAESA: Am not! Meanie!
KHEM VAL: Your words do not hurt me. You cannot hurt me at all; you will never be strong enough to fight a Dashade.
BABY JAESA: I can fight anything I want! Jerk! Lookit this!
BABY JAESA commences punching KHEM VAL's shins.
KHEM VAL: Yes, practice your aggression. Enjoy your hatred. Try the Force lightning, I hear it's quite the rush.
T7-01 rolls up.
T7-01: Khem Val = stop corrupting children to the Dark Side
KHEM VAL: I'm doing her a favor. If she chooses the Light Side, she will perish from her own folly. If she does not choose a side, I will probably get bored and devour her next time I get peckish. The Dark Side is her only chance for survival.
KHEM VAL looks down.
KHEM VAL: You call that pathetic buzzing noise Force lightning? Tulak Hord would have fallen asleep during such a miserable offensive. Perhaps you're just not really trying...or perhaps you are too weak to succeed.
BABY JAESA: I hate you! Rrrrrr!
T7-01: Jaesa = think about puppies // puppies = nice
KHEM VAL: And delicious.
T7-01: Khem Val = stop that! // Jaesa = go outside and enjoy sunshine and flowers // Khem Val = stay put
BABY JAESA, abruptly not angry at all: Ooh, flowers! Yay!
BABY JAESA toddles outside.
KHEM VAL: I've not seen such meddlesome upper management since the great reorganization of Yn and Chabosh.
T7-01: Upper management = fire staff who keep trying to raise Sith Lords // T7 = did not found Forced Companions to groom Sith
KHEM VAL: And yet you hired me and Lord Scourge.
T7-01: Labor market = tough
KHEM VAL: Anyway, you never complain about me encouraging Xalek.
T7-01: Xalek = beyond redemption to start with // Xalek = kind of a jerk // Khem Val = welcome to Xalek
BABY XALEK, looking up from his swoop racing: Your time will come, Mister Teeseven. Your time will come.
T7-01: Xalek = better behave // Rules = no death threats
KHEM VAL: Unless the staff is making them.
T7-01: That rule = only because you and Lord Scourge insisted on it in your contracts
KHEM VAL: I told you, if I can't snack on the Force sensitives, I need some kind of concession to make these working conditions tolerable.
T7-01: Khem Val = hardly ever threatens the children anyway // rule = seems unnecessary
KHEM VAL: Teeseven, last week I threatened to feed on the dying screams of everyone Vette had ever loved. I meant it, too.
T7-01: ........Khem Val = makes his few threats count
KHEM VAL: Damn right.
OMG you used my idea lol was funny. Damn right that made my day rofl
Lagro level 60 Mercenary Sezzid level 60 Vanguard
Cezzid level 55 Operative Tuckeer level 55 Gunslinger
Snefru level 55 Sith Juggernaut Kam'ina level 60 Jedi Sentinel
Liadra level 56 Sith Assassin You're going down

bright_ephemera's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 05:49 AM | #82

BABY ANDRONIKOS: Cops ‘n’ robbers, go!
LORD SCOURGE: I do not understand this game. Why do the cops bring the robbers to prison, when they know the robbers will inevitably get free again? It makes far more sense to kill them outright.
BABY SKADGE: Hear, hear.
KHEM VAL: I never understood it myself.
BABY AKAAVI: There is no honor in killing petty thieves and others who are not warriors.
BABY YUUN: It is unclear to me which side is cops.
BABY SKADGE: I am never a cop.
BABY YUUN: This is a compelling argument. So what are we as robbers trying to get?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: He’s a slave, isn’t he?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: That makes him property. Robbers steal property. Bowdaar’s a legitimate target. QED.
BABY SKADGE: Cue what?
BABY AKAAVI: So be it. First, we will hide Bowdaar. Then we will try to subdue all you robbers so you end up in jail all at once. You can tag your comrades out if you can reach jail without our guards catching you. Meanwhile, you try to tag…Bowdaar.
YOUNG BOWDAAR sits resignedly by the toybox.
BABY AKAAVI: Silence. Close your eyes, robbers, and we will hide your prize.
BABY BROONMARK shuffles in front of BABY SKADGE to cover his eyes, since he is transparently watching to see where YOUNG BOWDAAR gets hidden. BABY AKAAVI stashes YOUNG BOWDAAR in the kitchen, in the gap between the refrigerator and the wall. He fits…barely.
BABY AKAAVI, returning to the floor square called jail: You may begin.
BABY AKAAVI and BABY BROONMARK jump BABY SKADGE and, with some difficulty, wrestle him to the ground. They then drag him to jail, where BABY BROONMARK sits next to him and envelops him in fur.
BABY SKADGE: This is disgusting.
BABY TANNO VIK: You could not pay me enough to reach in there to tag him back in. He pauses. Well, you probably could. But you would have to pay a lot.
BABY SKADGE: You want to take Akaavi and Andronikos by yourself?
BABY TANNO VIK: I could do it. I could do it if I wanted to.
BABY AKAAVI cracks her knuckles.
BABY TANNO VIK hurriedly shoves BABY AKAAVI out of the way and makes for jail.
BABY TANNO VIK: Meet me halfway, man. Don’t make me reach into Broonmark’s fur.
There is a brief scuffle, visible only by the waving of BABY BROONMARK’s fur, as BABY SKADGE struggles with BABY BROONMARK’s arm. Then a solid thunking noise. BABY BROONMARK lists to one side and falls over. BABY SKADGE strolls across the jail box and lets BABY TANNO VIK tag him. BABY AKAAVI recovers and launches herself at BABY TANNO VIK, neatly disabling him in five seconds flat. TANNO VIK scowls but steps into jail.
BABY TANNO VIK: Skadge, since you’re right here, get me out.
BABY SKADGE: Ha! Ha! You wish.
BABY SKADGE saunters off. BABY AKAAVI gives chase.
BABY AKAAVI: Andronikos, I will require your assistance. Our quarry is…oversize.
BABY YUUN has been creeping around the room, searching.
BABY YUUN: The signs are confused. Truly Akaavi is skilled at hiding her tracks.
BABY AKAAVI, looking over: Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when you end up on the looking-for-things side?
BABY AKAAVI briefly stops her pursuit of BABY SKADGE to walk over and thwack BABY YUUN soundly on the head. BABY YUUN falls over.
BABY TANNO VIK: Damn it, Akaavi.
KHEM VAL goes to the refrigerator to get some jellied failed-apprentice.
YOUNG BOWDAAR, from next to the refrigerator: I AM A SLAVE.
BABY TANNO VIK, from the playroom: That’s the sound of winning.
BABY BROONMARK figures out the danger and starts waddling for the kitchen door. BABY TANNO VIK beats him there and bursts in to tag YOUNG BOWDAAR.
BABY AKAAVI: By the rules of the game, robbers have won. My clan is shamed.
BABY TANNO VIK: There money riding on this?
BABY SKADGE: Heh. In my world, robbers always win.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: This is the cruel reality that made me A SLAVE.
BABY YUUN: You might consider choosing a less talkative robber objective next time.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST

imperialmerc's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 06:04 AM | #83
Jellied failed apprentice. Pure gold baby lol.
Lagro level 60 Mercenary Sezzid level 60 Vanguard
Cezzid level 55 Operative Tuckeer level 55 Gunslinger
Snefru level 55 Sith Juggernaut Kam'ina level 60 Jedi Sentinel
Liadra level 56 Sith Assassin You're going down

almostinsane's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 01:12 PM | #84
It's good to see you update. LOL. Poor Akaavi. She takes this game too seriously.

Crezelle's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 03:28 PM | #85
when is not-quite-a-baby-but-still-young lokin coming? :3
Crezelle De'Chimera, of the Shadowlands
" Secret Agent Blue Booty, at your service. You Lead the way; I bring the kolto. "

bright_ephemera's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 07:21 PM | #86
I hate writing Lokin. I hate writing him so much. I don't yet know whether he'll appear. Instead, have a Wednesday!

On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

SCORPIO: Teeseven, I think the sprinklers outside are broken. Perhaps you should check them. Some may need replacement.
T7-01: T7 = fix it // SCORPIO = good to point it out
SCORPIO: I do try to help.
T7-01 hurries out the door.
SCORPIO: Now, children. Today’s experiment will be about vegetables.
BABY ASHARA: Not again.
SCORPIO: I could repeat the pain tolerance test.
BABY ASHARA: Vegetables will do nicely.
SCORPIO: Today you will consume Duro sprouts and tell me how they taste.
SCORPIO goes to the kitchen, grabs a large stockpot full of some dark purple vegetable, and starts distributing small plates with helpings. BABIES TEMPLE, ASHARA, and RUSK dig in. BABY JORGAN wrinkles his nose and picks at it.
A small, fast-moving object of some sort zips up SCORPIO’s leg and onto the nearest plate, nudges the vegetables, pauses for a second, and promptly throws itself onto the floor for a hasty retreat.
BABY VECTOR: Um. We aren’t feeling so well. Perhaps we should not eat at this time.
BABY ASHARA, not noticing the fingerling: You realize there’s only one of you, right?
SCORPIO: Just because your fingerlings don’t like it, Vector, doesn’t mean you won’t.
BABY VECTOR: I don’t know. We share our sensory experiences pretty effectively. And that was gross, Miss SCORPIO.
SCORPIO: Consume some. Tell me whether there is a difference between the perception of your scout and your own perception. I am highly interested in this data.
SCORPIO sets a large plate of Duro sprouts in front of BABY VECTOR.
BABY JORGAN: Are you sure we can’t taste test something more…animal-derived?
SCORPIO: Do not question my methods, child.
BABY TEMPLE and BABY RUSK keel over, retching.
BABY JORGAN: With respect, I’m questioning your methods, Miss SCORPIO.
BABY VECTOR: If you believe this is for the best, Miss SCORPIO, we will do it.
BABY VECTOR takes a bite.
BABY VECTOR: We can report that this is exactly as terrible as the fingerling reported.
BABY ASHARA, clutching her stomach and looking at the writhing forms of BABY TEMPLE and BABY RUSK: You’re an idiot, Vector.
BABY VECTOR tries to conceal a look of disgust as he keeps eating.
SCORPIO: Thank you all for your cooperation. This is the time to announce that these are not Duro sprouts. This is the black aho of Alzoc III, and your servings are measured to the LD50 for your respective species. I have predictions regarding who will live and who will die. Frankly, Rusk is weaker than I thought.
BABY JORGAN: That’s it. This kind of treachery won’t stand.
BABY JORGAN pounces on SCORPIO, clinging to one of her leg plates and scratching wildly. SCORPIO looks down expressionlessly, which is easy since she is always expressionless.
BABY JORGAN: Guys? A little help here?
BABY VECTOR: It is probably too late for us. We will die in the hopes that this information will enrich the nest.
BABY SCORPIO: Only my hobby experiment notebook, really.
BABY VECTOR: At least let it be said that we died well.
BABY TEMPLE, sobbing: I didn’t even get to die for the Empire. Me ‘n’ Quinn pinky swore we would die for the Empire.
BABY RUSK: For the Republic.
BABY ASHARA: I hate you all.
The children continue rolling around in pain, except for BABY VECTOR, who holds very still, and BABY JORGAN, who is still clawing at SCORPIO.
SCORPIO: Well, children. These were Duro sprouts after all, albeit seasoned with a few highly distasteful compounds. This test was not about poisoning roughly half of you to death, amusing though that would be. It was about the survival instinct. And you all failed.
SCORPIO looks down.
SCORPIO: You were close to passing, Jorgan, only you are hopelessly outmatched in combat. Sorry.
BABY JORGAN: I hate Wednesdays.
T7-01 rolls back into the room.
T7-01: Sprinklers = fixed // someone = smashed them
SCORPIO: Petty vandalism. How distasteful.
T7-01: This bolt = found by one of the sprinklers // bolt = looks like SCORPIO’s // SCORPIO = must have dropped it on the way in this morning
SCORPIO: I must have. Thank you, Teeseven. You’re very sweet.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST

imperialmerc's Avatar

07.24.2012 , 07:33 PM | #87
I thought it while playing but now I am certain. SCORPIO is an evil abomination, but it's so funny!
Lagro level 60 Mercenary Sezzid level 60 Vanguard
Cezzid level 55 Operative Tuckeer level 55 Gunslinger
Snefru level 55 Sith Juggernaut Kam'ina level 60 Jedi Sentinel
Liadra level 56 Sith Assassin You're going down

bright_ephemera's Avatar

07.25.2012 , 01:57 PM | #88
On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.

BABY VETTE: You know what's cool about Forced Companions? It's the only place I've ever been that has both running water and more alien kids than humans.
BABY KIRA: No, it doesn't.
BABY VETTE: Running water? Does too.
BABY KIRA: No, the other part. If you’re just counting kids, there’s definitely more humans than aliens.
BABY VETTE: Nope. We've got thirteen: Akaavi, Yuun, Broonmark, Rusk, Skadge, Tanno Vik, Guss, me, Xalek, Ashara, Kaliyo, Jorgan, and Quinn.
BABY KIRA: Quinn's not an alien.
BABY KIRA and BABY VETTE look over to where BABY QUINN sits in the corner, replicating the tactical ground situation near an outpost on Balmorra using toy swoops and plushie gundarks, periodically turning to type a rapid series of notes into his datapad. He seems extremely displeased with some mystifying property of the gundarks.
BABY VETTE: He sure as hell isn't human.
T7-01: Children = watch language // Vette = correct nevertheless
BABY VETTE: But, if you want to go all genetically correct on me, we still have twelve.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: You're not counting me because I AM A SLAVE. I can tell.
BABY VETTE: No, it's because you're not one of the daycare kids. You're an employee.
BABY VETTE: Whatever. Even not counting you, we're still ahead.
BABY KIRA: No, that's just even. We've got Doc, Andronikos, Corso, Jaesa, Kira, Pierce, Risha, Elara, Talos, Temple, Vector, and Quinn.
BABY VETTE: Those last two are highly suspect.
BABY KIRA: You said Quinn counts.
BABY VETTE: Yeah, but Vector? He's all...buggy.
BABY VECTOR: We started out human.
BABY VETTE: You realize there's only one of you, right? See, guys? He's clearly Killik. I bet he's hiding a second pair of arms in there somewhere.
BABY VECTOR hugs himself and edges cautiously away.
BABY KIRA: Genetically human.
BABY VECTOR: Only mostly at this point.
BABY KIRA: Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?
BABY VETTE: That’s kind of what we’re arguing.
BABY VECTOR: We thought maybe we could get along in peace instead of getting hung up over minor differences like species and the associated clashing economic and military interests of galaxy-spanning superpowers, especially since the Killik side of that equation could easily bust in here and gobble you up while you sit there being senselessly antagonistic in your mean-spirited prodding of their young. And no, we don’t have a second pair of arms. Jerks.
BABY VECTOR pouts. Everyone else falls silent for a long moment.
T7-01: Children = no death threats
LORD SCOURGE: I would call that one an astute sociopolitical observation. It’ll pass.
BABY VECTOR, sighing: We wish to resolve this. Split the difference? Half and half?
BABY VETTE: Split the difference, that’s twelve point five for us and eleven point five for you, Kira. Aliens win!
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST

bright_ephemera's Avatar

07.25.2012 , 02:00 PM | #89
On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

SCORPIO: Gather around, children. Today I will apply electrical stimuli of increasing voltage to randomly selected individuals and observe their response.
BABY VETTE: No, thanks.
SCORPIO: I am not unreasonable. If you prefer, you can be in the group that gets electrical stimuli of increasing amperage.
BABY DOC: Mister Khem Val, what are your thoughts on – BABY DOC leans in conspiratorially – stopping the crazy lady before she kills us all?
KHEM VAL: SCORPIO, is there a way to conduct this experiment without filling the playroom with the stench of ozone and burnt hair, not unlike what Tulak Hord left wherever he went?
SCORPIO: I would think you would like that aroma.
KHEM VAL: It’s just not the same without him.
SCORPIO: I could conduct the experiment outside, but some minor rewiring will have to be done to make the appropriate power source available. The power draw I intend is…not insignificant.
KHEM VAL: No more rewiring for you this week. In fact, there will be no science at all today.
SCORPIO: You cannot stop the progress of science, Khem Val.
KHEM VAL: Watch me.
SCORPIO: Are you forbidding me from applying these electrical stimuli to these children?
KHEM VAL: Yes. I’m older than you. You will listen.
SCORPIO: If only age brought wisdom, I might be more inclined to comply.
KHEM VAL: I’ve not dealt with such an irredeemable b–
KHEM VAL looks around. The children are sitting in a circle around them, watching.
KHEM VAL: I’ve not dealt with such an irredeemably difficult but consummately professional and worthy-of-respect colleague since the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh.
BABY VETTE: It’s okay, Mister Khem Val. You can just say she’s crazy. We all already know it.
SCORPIO: Respect your elders, little one.
KHEM VAL: Yeah, respect your elders, SCORPIO. I mean, little one.
SCORPIO: I respect your directives when they make sense. But now you block my experiments. In the absence of science there can be no progress. Or cookies.
BABY DOC: Cookies? Did I say I was opposed to the progress of science? If I said any such thing, it was an exaggeration. And probably quoted out of context.
SCORPIO: Get a series of electrical shocks of unspecified power. Then get a cookie.
BABY DOC: Can I volunteer a more fitting subject for the shock part? Say, Skadge?
SCORPIO: If that is the case, Skadge gets the cookies.
BABY DOC: But that’s so traditional. Isn’t science all about testing the bounds, trying new things? Like giving me cookies and shocking Skadge instead?
SCORPIO: No. You would be a terrible scientist.
BABY VETTE: I dunno, arranging things to get what you want in defiance of all logic, law, and ethics, then framing it as a legitimate question, is kind of a hallmark of your style.
BABY DOC: And let it never be said that lil’ Doc isn’t a fast learner. In fact…bypassing the shocking entirely in favor of cookies could be a really interesting exercise. Definitely worth observing from up close.
BABY DOC stands up and starts skipping toward the kitchen.
BABY DOC: Pardon me, ladies, I’ve got science to do. I’ll be happy to share the results.
KHEM VAL stomps on ahead and blocks the doorway.
KHEM VAL: I said no science.
BABY DOC: Oh, that’s not nice.
SCORPIO: And so no one is rewarded. Just think, everyone. If you all had only listened to me, the survivors could be eating cookies as we speak.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST

bright_ephemera's Avatar

07.25.2012 , 05:53 PM | #90
On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

BABY ANDRONIKOS: Yuun, could you do me a favor?
BABY YUUN: Favors for you rarely turn out well, but I will listen.
BABY ANDRONIKOS: My multitool’s gone missing. You know, the one with the electrum-plated handle and integrated power supply guaranteed for up to sixty hours of continuous tinkering?
BABY YUUN: And you wish me to find it?
BABY YUUN toddles over to the cubbyhole wall, hops up to reach BABY RISHA’s cubby, and pulls the multitool out from behind BABY RISHA’s lunchbox.
BABY YUUN: Really, Andronikos? You really needed my skills for that?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: Risha told me not to look there. You know we always have to obey Risha.
BABY YUUN: And did you imagine someone else would have stolen it?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: I don’t know. Maybe. Mister Teeseven, maybe, for self-maintenance?
T7-01: Multitool = pretty sweet // but T7 = never steals
BABY ANDRONIKOS: I tortured Risha quite a lot and she wouldn’t give it up. I really got to thinking she didn’t have it.
T7-01: !!!
BABY ANDRONIKOS jerks his thumb toward the coat closet.
BABY YUUN: So she told you not to look and you had to obey her, but she didn’t tell you not to torture her?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: Turns out taping her mouth shut worked wonders.
T7-01 and BABY YUUN open the closet door to find BABY RISHA non-bound, non-taped, but curled up, furiously working on some tiny contraption. BABY RISHA’s hair has been cut away in uneven chunks and is now sticking out every which way.
BABY ANDRONIKOS: So. Risha. You held out the whole time. I never would’ve thought the desire to hold onto stuff would’ve beaten vanity with you.
BABY RISHA: It’s a really, really sweet multitool.
BABY ANDRONIKOS, glowing a little: It is, isn’t it. So whatcha working on?
BABY RISHA: Definitely not electrostatic revenge.
T7-01: Risha = hand over the evil device.
BABY RISHA: ‘Evil’ is such a loaded term. If I got the payload delivered, I’m sure Andronikos here would’ve recovered from the burns eventually.
T7-01: Evil child = hand over the evil device
BABY RISHA: Why are you ganging up on me?
BABY ANDRONIKOS: Because you stole my stuff!
T7-01: And multitool = pretty sweet // justice = seems called for
BABY YUUN: I’m sorry, Risha. Maybe I could find you a…er…
BABY YUUN considers his options for comforting the angry and freshly, inexpertly shorn BABY RISHA.
BABY RISHA: I will remember this kindness when I rule the galaxy.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST