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http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Togorian

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http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Selonian

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http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nikto

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Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

I may be new to space travel, but I can already tell by the slight change in the vibration of the shuttle’s hull that we’ve entered the atmosphere. That, and the creeping malevolence that reaches me on a deep, gut level. The Force. Korriban is not a planet to visit lightly.

My legs are shaking again. I have to look strong. No, Kiarn, I mentally correct. I have to be strong. Getting up, I pace back and forth, trying to calm myself down. Should I tie my hair back? I hear the landing skids open. No time, then. I sit back down in my seat and wait for the hatch to open.

A blast of cold air greets me. I stand and descend the ramp, looking around. The shuttle has landed on the edge of a cliff surrounded by rocky crags. A togorian male stands on the landing pad, tapping his feet impatiently. I quicken my steps to reach him, keeping my head up and my shoulders high.

When I reach him, I bow deeply, then straighten up and look him in the eye. His gaze sweeps me critically and I try not to flinch. I know what he sees: a short, frail-looking young human woman with pale skin, deep green eyes, and intense, dark red hair cut raggedly to shoulder length. Her jumpsuit is a washed out greenish color and sags on her frame. Force sensitive maybe, but not worthy of the academy and certainly not worthy of him. He turns and stalks back down the path without saying anything.

I follow him, assuming it’s what I’m supposed to do. The sand crunches under my too-large boots and I stumble a few times on loose rocks. As we round a corner, the rocky walls surrounding the path stop and I see the academy that I’ve spent so much time thinking about in person for the first time. It’s smaller than I expected but the red stone building carved into the end of the valley is still impressive. A massive black opening marks the entrance.

The Togorian continues down the path and I follow, not wanting to be alone here, though he doesn’t seem to notice my pause. We cross the empty space in front of the academy and begin to climb the wide stairway to the doorway. Looking at the statues that take the place of columns supporting the roof gives me a crawling feeling, and I realize that each one depicts the hunched form of a humanoid slave. I look back over my shoulder. Another dark opening like a mouth lies directly opposite the academy, set into the ground. I wonder what it is, but hold my tongue. This sith obviously doesn’t want to associate with me any more than necessary.

The inside of the academy is as cold as outside and even gloomier. Decorated mostly in black and sparingly lit, it makes me feel like something malevolent lurks in the shadows. We pass through the entrance hall and into a large atrium. A statue of some sith lord rose in the center toward an opening in the roof.

I follow the Togorian up a set of stairs to the balcony above. From there, we plunge into a bewildering series of hallways and stairs. Finally, he stops in front of a door in the best-lit of the halls.

“Wait here,” he says. It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak, and his voice isn’t as deep as I expect from his size. He knocks on the door and stalks off.

I watch him disappear around the corner. The corridor is silent. Worry gnaws at my empty stomach. Have they guessed my intentions already? Should I try to run for it? Stop it! I tell myself. I can’t lose my nerve now. And even if I did, where would I go? The only way off Korriban is in the shuttles, and even if I could steal one, which I doubt, I would never make it out of the atmosphere. Digging my teeth into my tongue, I concentrate on the metallic taste of blood and try to shut out everything else.

The door opens. I hesitate, wondering if I’m supposed to go in. “Come in,” says a voice from inside.

I enter and find an office, basically but expensively furnished. The warm, moist air feels amazing on my chilled face. A red Twi’lek sits as the desk, twirling one heavily tattooed lekku in her fingers. She looks up from her datapad. “Hello.” Her voice is soft and smooth, not the harsh command or seductive purr I’ve come to expect from female sith.

“Hello,” I reply warily.

“What’s your name?”

“Kiarn”

“Welcome to Korriban, Kiarn. My name is Lord Eliss, master of the Korriban Sith Academy. I won’t keep you long. We only have a few rules here, but we don’t show any mercy if you break them: stay in the lower levels, don’t attack the other students, and do whatever the masters tell you, without question.”

She pauses, and I can tell she’s expecting some sort of response, so I nod. “Yes, ma’am”

“Good. You’re excused from classes today. I’ll have another student show you to the dorms.” She stands and walks toward the door, motioning for me to follow her.

We continue down the hallway until we meet a large Selonian walking in the opposite direction. “Acolyte,” says Lord Eliss. “This is a new student. Show her down to Torsten’s old bunk.”

“Yes, Lord.” The Selonian bows, but there isn't much respect in the gesture. Elyss either doesn't notice or decides to ignore it and heads back towards her office. The Selonian makes a disgusted-sounding noise and spins on his or her heel. I've only met a few Selonians in my life, and I haven’t yet figured out how to tell if they’re male or female. Or even if they have genders. It stalks back the way it came, down two flights of stairs, and past several closed doors. As we descend in yet another elevator, I realize how far we must be underground. I swallow hard, fighting nerves and still tasting blood from my injured tongue. I am not claustrophobic. Still, the dark side amplifies the awareness of the trillions of kilos of rock over my head into a physical weight pressing on me.

When the doors finally open, it’s all I can do not to run out of the elevator. But I hold my cool and let the Selonian go first. The sensation disappears as I walk through the moderately wider hallway. Soon, it turns to the left and stops. “Yours is the second bunk,” it says in heavily accented Huttise. “Don’t touch mine or you’re dead.”

“Thank you,” I say primly. The threat doesn't bother me. Very little people can say bothers me anymore, and sith love throwing their weight around. By now, I just let it fuel my hatred.

“I’ll know if you do.” The Selonian leaves, not-quite-accidentally hitting me with its tail as it does. I relax as it disappears around the corner. I can’t believe I made it into the academy. Is it really going to be this easy? I tell myself to calm down. I haven’t even had my first class yet.

I look around the room. It’s bare enough: three beds, each with a chest at the foot and a blanket. No door on the room, it’s really more of a large alcove. The middle bed lays under a fine layer of dust, but the other two look like someone’s slept in them recently. I wonder what time it is. The gloom outside makes me think it’s early evening, but it might be like that all the time.

I go over to my bed and open the chest. Empty. Do I have to wear this jumpsuit during my entire training? I pull at it distastefully. I hope not. But how to get another outfit?

I catch sight of my hand. It looks filthy, with broken nails and dirt pushed into my cuticles. Dried blood encrusts my knuckles. No wonder the Togorian and the Selonian didn't want to have anything to do with me. The rest of me probably doesn't look any better. I should try to clean myself up before I meet any more of the students. I don’t particularly care about impressing any of them, in fact it’s probably better if I don’t, but I don’t want to be singled out as an easy target either.

The refresher is at the end of the hall, and he male and female students share. I guess privacy is against the sith code. At least it’s deserted now. I pull the curtain shut on one of the shower stalls and let the warm water flow over me.

Too soon, I make myself get out, wrapping a towel around myself before I do. As I reach for my jumpsuit, a movement startles me and I jump. A Miraluka female about my age stands next to the sinks, holding a rag and a bottle of what looks like cleaning fluid. She brushes short brown hair out of her face and makes a motion like she’s looking at me, though she can’t be without eyes. It’s unsettling. “Are you new?” she says.

Once again, I remind myself not to lie more than necessary or about things I can’t deny. “I just got here.”

“Ah. You can take one of the uniforms over there if you want. Put it in the laundry chute when you’re done with it.” She gestures first to a cubbied shelf of clothing, then to an opening in the wall.

Did a sith trainee just help me out? I know I should avoid getting any closer to the other students than I have to, but something about this kindness startles me and before I can stop myself I say “Thank you. What’s your name?”

“Meiko,” she replies. “And yours?”

“Kiarn.”

“Welcome to the academy,” she says, and sweeps a bow. Unlike the one the Selonian gave Lord Eliss, it’s more in greeting than subservience, mock or otherwise. I’m not really sure what to say next, or if I want to say anything at all, so I go over to the rack of uniforms and sort through them. Finding one in my size takes a few minutes, but it’s not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess the academy is used to clothing beings of all shapes and sizes. Before long, I’m clothed identically to Meiko, in a red tunic, black pants, and knee boots. The tunic is a little large and the boots are a little small, but I tighten the fabric belt around my waist and ignore it.

She’s bent over the sink when I turn back, scrubbing it with the rag. I suddenly wonder why she’s down here, all alone if I hadn’t been here. “Shouldn’t you be in class?” I say.

She shakes her head. “Not while Lord Rornak is teaching.”

Curiosity overwhelms me. I know all I’m doing is opening myself up for a backstabbing later, but I also see a chance to learn a little more about how things work here. “What do you mean?”

“I made him mad last class. He said I had to clean the refreshers during his teaching time until he decides to let me back in.”

“Oh.” Why is she telling me? She doesn’t know me. For all she can tell, I’ll use the information against her someday. Maybe it’s general knowledge or something, and she figures I’ll find out anyway. “So, don’t make the

sith mad?”

She smiles. “Better yet, get them to like you. It’s the only way to get into the advanced classes, and you can’t pass without them.”

I long to ask what she means, but I don’t want to display my ignorance any more than I already have. Instead, I nod my thanks and leave before Meiko can say anything else. I wander back to my room, though it doesn’t really warrant the name, and shake the dust off the blanket. Replacing it, I stretch out on the bed and stare at the narrow crack that winds its way across the high ceiling.

A twinge of my previous fear returns, but this time I clamp down on it and it passes quickly. My mind wanders as I calculate how to impress the teachers and puzzle over everything that’s happened today. Before I know it, my eyes close and I fall into a tense half-sleep.

The pounding of feet in the hallway outside snaps me awake and I sit up. Everything feels cold, especially my feet, and there’s a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t seem to swallow away. I run my fingers through my hair and strike what I hope is a reasonably intelligent and alert pose as the Selonian comes in. Just behind him is a human male with untidy brown hair. He has the bunk closest to the hall and I watch him as he digs through his trunk for something. He has several of the outfit we’re both wearing in there, along with some other items I can’t see. Where did he get them? I wonder. Are they brought from home? Rewards from the teachers for good behavior?

When he leaves, I follow him, hoping it’s not obvious what I’m doing. Fortunately, I don’t need to for long. Everyone is moving in the same direction, so I just follow the current to a large room on the same floor as the dormitories. Tables and benches stand in neat rows and I can smell food. My stomach growls and suddenly I feel faint. When was my last meal? Yesterday morning, I think.

I fall into the food line behind a tall Zabrak female and wait my turn.

The food, handed to me on a tray by an ancient droid, is fairly sparse, but it should be enough to get by on. I taste it. Burned. Still, I’ve eaten worse, so I concentrate on consuming it with something resembling dignity, though I long to shovel it into my mouth as fast as I can.

After I finish my food, I devote some time to studying the rest of the students. There’s about fifty of us, mostly humans, but with a variety of species represented. I can see everything from a fish-eyed Mon Cal, to a massive Trandoshan, to a diminutive furry thing I don’t even recognize. The room seems designed to hold more beings, though. I wonder if the academy had more students at some point, or if this room was originally built for something else.

Despite not having anyone to talk to, the time passes quickly, and before I know it, everyone is filing out of the mess hall. I follow near the back of the crowd, listening as the conversation grows quieter. Something about the passageways here commands silence. By the time everyone starts to pour into a small classroom, the only sound is the echo of our feet.

Lord Eliss is standing at the front of the room, watching us file in. She’s changed into a more highly decorated version of the plain charcoal grey robe she was wearing earlier, this one with gold trim around the edges. The room is empty of furniture, and she gestures for us to sit on the floor. I do, drawing my knees up to my chest. It’s cold in here. I have a feeling that I’m not going to be warm again until I leave here. If I ever do.

Eliss starts talking as soon as most of us are seated. She launches into an explanation of what I think is a force technique, but I know I can’t do it. I can’t even move small objects reliably yet.

Though I try to remember the lecture for later, when my skills are more advanced, by the time she finishes I’ve already forgotten to beginning. I stand at her command and watch the other students attempt the technique. Most are clearly struggling: the Nikto a few yards from me is concentrating so hard that I barely recognize his species, his face is so twisted. A few weak sparks issue from his fingertips, but other than that, I don’t see any signs of success.

Still, not everyone is as hopeless as the two of us. From across the room, I catch sight of a brilliant lavender glow, followed by a scream. The other students move back and I can see the sources through the sea of arms and legs. The lightning apparently came from a small, slim Zabrak male. He red skin is covered in geometric black tattoos and he has short black hair combed into spikes. His victim was a blond human male who now lies on the floor, groaning in agony. Sympathetic pain races through me and I can almost feel my hair standing on end. Unbidden, my mind races back to the first and only time someone has used force lightning on me.

The pain was worse than any physical sensation I had ever felt, a searing, burning jolt that stiffed my body and made my limbs flail. Despite my determination not to give Lord Harod the satisfaction of hearing my scream, I found myself whimpering like an injured animal whenever the shocks stopped long enough for me to get a sound out.

Why doesn’t he just kill me? I wondered. Why does it have to take so long? But I knew why. I was going to die because I had disobeyed him, but I was going to die slowly because I had embarrassed him. That the embarrassment was not my fault but the fault of the bounty hunter who had brought me in at an inopportune moment had never crossed his mind, I was sure.

Suddenly, in a lull between shocks, I felt it. The familiar tug that’s always appeared and the most important moments in my life, the tug I knew by then was the force. Now able to ignore the pain, I raised my hands and let all my fear and rage flow out though my fingertips in violet arcs.

If only I could summon lighting that easily now. The sound of Eliss congratulating the Zabrak snaps me back to reality. She pulls the other student to his feet and leads the Zabrak to the front of the room, where I can see his face. Exultant, proud, superior. A perfect sith student. And, I realize just the type of student that I’ll have to compete with if I want to graduate. Eliss has him demonstrate, and then sends him back to his spot. My eyes follow him and I catch a glimpse of the human. He’s still hunched over, looking pained. My thoughts of seeking him out as an ally vanish as disgust swells in me. I know it hurts, but pain is a part of being sith. You stand up, you grit your teeth, and you keep going. I have no room for weakness, and the academy doesn’t either.

I turn away and try to practice. It’ll be a long time before I can do anything close to what the Zabrak did, but I’ll never get there if I don’t start. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on lifting my boot, which I pull off and set on the floor. I feel nothing, not even a slight tingle from the force. The boot shifts slightly. Or did I just imagine it?

Something brushes my arm and I spin around, on high alert. Meiko stands there, wearing the same expression I remember from before, like she’s looking at me. “Do you want something?” I say, more harshly than I meant to. But only a bit.

She shakes her head, looking taken aback but not really hurt. “Do you need help? It’s hard to catch up if you start late. I’m surprised they put you in this batch at all.”

“No, I don’t need help.”

“Alright.” She turns away. “It helps if you hold your hand out towards the thing you’re trying to move at first.”

I frown. After making sure Meiko isn’t still watching me, I stretch my arm towards the boot and renew my focus. It still doesn’t move, but I feel a slight ripple in my awareness of the world. Another try sees it vibrate slightly- or is that just from the other students’ movements? - and on the third it slides across the floor, stopping at me feet. I smile.

By the end of class, I can move the boot almost every time, although my control is still terrible. Twice, I nearly got punched by an unhappy acolyte who got hit. As far as I can tell, only a few of the pupils have figured out the lightning technique Eliss was showing us. Besides the Zabrak, there’s a blond, attractive human female and, to my surprise, Meiko.

Her behavior still puzzles me. Three times now in less than six hours she’s given me advice unasked for. Two of those times, it’s been useful. And though I know that she’s probably only trying to get something from me, there’s a part of me that wants to trust her. It would be nice to have an ally here.

Lord Eliss dismisses us from class and I leave with the rest, shoving my boot on as I go. From the conversation around me, I pick up that this was the last class of the day unless you’ve been invited to one of the advanced classes.

I know that I should probably spend as much time as possible practicing my force techniques if I ever hope to catch up to everyone else. But something else is nagging at me. They didn’t exactly give a tour when I got here, and so far I’ve only been able to navigate by following others. I should spend some time familiarizing myself with the academy. Besides learning where all the classrooms are, it would be nice to find some unused storeroom or something to be alone in. I wasn’t a hermit in my past life, but at least I could sneak off for a few minutes alone sometimes, whereas here… As long as I don’t stray into the upper levels, I should be fine.

I skip looking around the rest of the dormitories, as the rest of the students probably won’t like me poking around in their rooms. Instead, I begin at the mess hall and work along the corridors, avoiding anything that looks occupied. There isn’t much to see. Every door that’s not locked just leads to an empty room or a dusty space full of long disused equipment of unknown purpose. Though the dark side is strong here, the presence seems general, rather than concentrated in a specific location.

Before a few hours are up, I’ve investigated as far as I dare right now. That doesn’t mean I won’t later, but I should wait until I’m more firmly established here. Eliss strikes me as fairly reasonable for a sith, but the same can’t be said for the Togorian that met me at the landing pad. Besides, I’ve never known a sith who didn’t have an awful temper if pushed.

So I go back to one of the empty classrooms I found and practice with the Force. I quickly find out that I can’t simply pick up where I left off in class earlier. Still, I recover my position and even make a few improvements before I realize that I have neither a wrist chrono nor a schedule. I could very eaisily be missing dinner right now. And rations are already short enough here without skipping meals.

Suddenly, I hear voices around the next corner and stop. I’d rather not have to explain what I’m doing here. They’re too indistinct for me to understand what they’re saying, but I can tell there are a male and a female, both from the Empire. Should I turn back? I have a feeling that I might get lost if I do.

While I stand in indescision, something happens around the corner and two who were talking raise their voices to the point where I can hear them. “What are you doing here?” says the male voice.

“Nothing.” It’s Meiko. Why does she keep turning up?

“You could have done nothing in your room,” he replies.

“I was trying to be alone.”

“Do you think she heard us?” says a fourth voice in Huttese. It’s the Selonian from earlier. It’s presence confirms my suspicions that this is a nasty bunch.

“Shut up, Kahnishh,” says the female voice. “Who were you going to be alone with Meiko? Were you following us? Or did you find a boyfriend?” She snickers.

“Why would I follow you?”

The Selonian speaks again. “We should just kill her now. It’s not like anyone’s going to look for her, and if we throw the body in one of the rooms…”

“Don’t be stupid,” says the male.

“Any stupider than you are,” says the female.

He ignores her. “Someone might find it, and I’m sure someone will remember that we’re gone. Bruses, on the other hand…”

I hear the sounds of a scuffle beginning and back up quickly to avoid being noticed if they should happen to come around the corner. Like it or not, I’ll have to find another way around. But before I get very far, I see an image in my mind of Meiko being pulverized by three burly students, her nose bleeding and bruises rising on her face. I turn around.

The three students don’t notices as I slip up behind them. The Zabrak and the human from Eliss’s class are struggling with Meiko. She’s putting up a valiant fight, but it’s three against one and she’s not going to be able to stay out of their grip long. As the Zabrak reaches for her, I leap onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. He stumbles forward, reaching for me, but I’ve already jumped off and danced back to avoid his punch.

Meiko looks surprised, but uses the opportunity to slide out of the Selonian’s grasp, kicking out at it when it tries to recapture her. The Zabrak lunges for me and as I sidestep, I feel the tug of the Force. Try as I might to resist the tug, it pulls me off balance and his body slams into mine. We both tumble to the ground. The floor impacts my back like the hard stone it is and I gasp, the breath knocked out of me. The Zabrak reaches for my arm and tries to hold it down. Summoning all my strength, I drive my knee up between his legs. He collapses with a groan and I shove him off of me. But as I start to stand, the girl tackles me afresh. She kneels on my shoulders to keep me from rising as the Zabrak pulls himself up.

“You’re going to regret that,” he says, golden eyes burning with rage. His voice, I have the satisfaction of hearing, is a little ragged.

“Not if I win,” I growl.

“Leave her alone!” shouts Meiko unhelpfully. I can’t raise my head enough to see her, but the Selonian probably has her again.

“Attacking other students isn’t allowed here,” the Zabrak says.

“She only defending me.”

“So, she’s your friend then? Well, I guess we’ll just have to-“

“Quillan!” The Zabrak, who I surmise is Quillan, breaks off and the human girl jumps up. “What are you doing?”

Quillan’s voice takes on an oily politeness. “Only practicing today’s lessons, Lord.” So it’s one of the teachers, then. I sit up, but Quillan’s body is blocking my view. Seeing him now, standing still and without lightning shooting from his fingers, I wonder how he ever intimidated me. Though he’s obviously full grown, he’s just barely taller than I am and not particularly muscular. Still his manner suggests that he’s used to getting what he wants. If his performance in class is anything to go by, he usually does too. Talent, mixed with the ruthlessness to use it, is the only sure path to power here.

The teacher laughs. “I don’t recall teaching you to brawl like cantina scum. Now go back to your dorm until dinner. Kahnishh, Tamine, you too.” The Selonian and the human follow Quillan down the hall and for the first time, I get a good look at the academy’s third teacher.

He’s a Sith Pureblood, with red skin and black hair that hangs into his face and over one bright yellow eye. Although he does sport the typical pureblood facial tendrels, there aren’t as many as some others I’ve seen and he’s not wearing any jewelry. “Are you alright?” he says, holding his hand out to me.

I ignore it and stand up. “I’m fine.” I’m going to be sore tomorrow, but I’ll live.

“Are you the new student?”

I suppress a sigh. “Yes. My name is Kiarn.” Maybe I should paint it on my tunic.

He nods. “Well met, Kiarn. I am Lord Erilinn, one of the teachers here at the academy.” He turns to Meiko. “Are you hurt?”

She shakes her head. “Thank you for helping us.”

“Why don’t you go back to your dorms or the mess hall until it’s time for dinner. And stay out of trouble.” Lord Erilinn turns and walks back towards the main section of the academy.

Meiko turns to me. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t do it for you.”

“Still, you saved me from Quillan’s posse. Is there anything I can do to repay you? Help you somehow?”

“No”

She sighs and turns to leave. “We should go. It’s probably almost time for dinner.”

I watch her disappear around the corner. Leaning against the wall, I slide down to a sitting position and bury my head in my arms. How could I have been so stupid? Not only have I just made and enemy of three powerful students, but I’ve openly presented myself as Meiko’s ally, a move I wasn’t prepared to make yet. Probably I never would have. Of all the students I’ve met so far, she seems the least likely to graduate.

And why did I do it? To satisfy my conscience, which couldn’t stand seeing an unfair fight. I was weak.

I pull myself back to my feet. Maybe I can still salvage this situation. After all, I didn’t want to attach myself to Quillan’s group anyway, and people may not find out about what happened. I certainly wouldn’t want to talk about it if I was him.

But as soon as I walk into the mess hall, I know that’s not the case. Quillan’s look is pure hatred, and enough people are staring that it must have spread. Not everyone seems upset, either.

I ignore the looks, take my tray, and sit down next to Meiko. If I must be associated with her, I might as well make the best of it. “Hello. Are you alright?” she says.

“Hello. I’m fine.”

The blood from her nose has crusted on her upper lip, and she wipes at it with the back of her hand. “This is Kelas and Tyrin.” She gestures to her two companions and they acknowledge me.

Kelas, to my disappointment, is the Nikito from Eliss’s class, the one who had so much trouble with the lesson. Up close, he doesn’t look much more impressive. Though he’s tall, he’s skinny, and he has a habit of constantly twitching his head from side to side, like he’s looking around for danger.

Tyrin, however, looks more promising. He’s of average height and build, with medium length light brown hair combed straight back from his face and a bit of stubble on his chin. His eyes are startlingly blue. I can see a sort of passion in them that makes me hopeful that he might succeed. It all depends on what that hunger is for.

Kelas finishes his food in about three gulps and says “Did I do alright today?”

Meiko gives Tyrin and me a pained look. “You did fine. With a little more practice, you should be caught up to the rest of us.” She’s lying through her teeth. He needs a lot more than a little practice.

“I just can’t get any power. It’s all flashing lights.” He sights. “It’s hopeless.”

“I’ll help you,” Meiko promises. She turns to me. “Can I help you too? Just until you catch up?”

“No, I’m fine,” I grind out. Will she stop asking already?

“So, Kiarn, how did you come here?” says Tyrin, fixing me with an intense look.

“I was… discovered by a sith who sent me here. He saw me lose my temper and realized I was force-sensitive.” At least that’s the short version. “What about you?”

Kelas looks around nervously. “I lived on a small colony world. When the Empire invaded, they sent all the force-sensitives they found here.”

“I came the same way you did,” Tyrin says to me. “Sith found me using the force, shipped me off here. My dad was a soldier in the imperial navy.”

I notice that Meiko doesn’t answer. That’s alright. If I can keep secrets from her, she can keep secrets from me, right?

After several more attempts by one or the other of us to start a conversation, I excuse myself and head for my room. There, I kick off my boots and crawl into bed with all my clothes on. I’m freezing as it is, and the blanket is too thin to warm me up much. Pulling it over my head, I curl into a ball and try to process everything that’s happened today. It seems like a lot longer than thirty-six standard hours ago that I boarded that shuttle to come here.

Overall, everything fits my predictions to a depressing extent. There are a few bright spots, though. At least Eliss and Erilinn don’t seem to hate me yet. And the longer I think about it, the less I regret taking on Meiko as an ally. She’s talented, and I don’t think she’ll betray me unless I do so first.

As I lie there, I hear my roommates come in. First is Tyrin, who climbs into bed with a soft “goodnight” in my direction. A while later, the Selonian clatters in, laughing loudly at some joke. It lies down and a few moments later, the lights dim. The dorms still echo with a low hum of whispered conversations, but I fall asleep easily.

My first notice that morning has arrived is when the lights switch on. Even filtered through the blanket, they seem painfully bright to my sleep-filled eyes. Dragging myself into a sitting position, I see Kahnishh and Tyrin stretching and yawning as they climb out of bed. Tyrin slides out of his shirt, revealing a well-muscled back, and bends over to look in his footlocker. When he starts to pull his pants off, I look away. Kahanishh is making up his bunk, and I get up to do the same. “You’ll get used to it,” Tyrin says, noticing my embarrassment.

Somehow I doubt that. I’ve always been uncomfortable with bodies, even my own. The floor is cold on my bare feet, so I look around for my boots. They’ve gotten pushed under Kahnishh’s bed. Crawling to retrieve them, I mutter “Excuse me.”

As my fingers close around the smooth synthleather, large hands wrap around my waist, pulling me out from under the bunk. “What did I say about touching my stuff?” Kahnishh growls.

I hold up my boots. “They were under your bed, OK?”

He lets me go and I stumble backwards. “Don’t do it again.” He sure is touchy, though I would probably be equally upset if our positions were reversed. I pull my boots on and go out into the hallway. A pack of students is walking along it. I follow, wondering where we’re going and hoping it’s to breakfast. Probably not, though.

“Kiarn!” Mekio calls, trotting to catch up with me. “Did you sleep well?”

“I was fine.”

“I’m glad.” She actually sounds like she is, too.

“Where are we going?”

“Outside. Usually they have us do a run or something before breakfast.”

“Ah.” I decide to make careful note of our route. There’s not really anywhere to go if I decided to make a run for it, but it’s still useful to know how to get out. Instead of using the elevator to the upper levels like I did yesterday, we climb a set of stairs to a hallway I’ve never seen before. After another seemingly endless climb, we emerge in a small room just off the main atrium. It’s slightly less tomb-like than it was yesterday, with a bit more light coming through the hole in the roof. An older sith I don’t recognize walks across the balcony.

“The upper levels have residences for the sith who are at Korriban on business. I’ve never been up there,” Meiko says in answer to my unasked question.

Outside, it is, if anything, colder than yesterday. It’s still dim, and apart from the wind and our feet on the stony sand, silent. The wind pulls at our tunics and hair. Mine is still tangled from sleeping on it, and I make a futile effort to smooth it down with my fingers. It’ll have to wait until I’m inside. A brush would be nice too. I don’t need much, but it sure would be nice to have a few basic items.

Lord Rornak is standing on a slight rise of ground next to the steps down to the opening I wondered about yesterday. His eyes follow us as we approach. Though Meiko stops facing him, I turn slightly so that I can keep both the sith lord and the giant hole in the ground in sight. Even so, I keep glancing over my shoulder. The entire time I’ve been outside on this planet, I’ve felt like something is trying to sneak up behind me.

Before long, most of my fellow students have appeared and Rornak starts talking. “We’re running today.” His voice carries quite well. Someone groans. Rorna glares at the group but apparently can’t find the source, so he continues. “You have an hour. GO!” He shouts the last word and takes off at a brisk jog.

Everyone follows him, spreading out as our paces separate us. I quickly realize that I’m in no shape to keep up. Before ten minutes are up, the sweat has started to run down my face and into my eyes. Soon, I’m gasping. Quillan gives what sounds like it might be a snort of derision as he runs by, but I notice that he’s not doing that well either; his face looks strained and I can hear him panting over my own breaths.

Still, I’m falling behind. I can’t see Rornak now, and the main body of the group is pretty far ahead too. I wonder how far we have to go. My time sense isn’t good enough for me to tell how long we’ve been out. A shooting, pinching pain races across the bottom of my ribcage with every step and my mouth is dry. Sweat stings in my eyes and I can feel it dripping down the back of my neck. But worst is the temperature. The inside of my body is hot, so hot, while my sweaty skin freezes in the cold, dry air.

I’m at the back of the pack now, and there’s a least ten meters between me and the next student. I have to keep going, have to finish. But they wouldn’t kill me just for not finishing a run. Would they? Even if they didn’t I would draw massive amounts of negative attention, and I can’t afford that.

The path turns sharply and dips into a side valley. It’s narrow here and the stone walls block out most of the dim light. I can barely see my feet. Suddenly, something catches the toe of my boot and as tired as I am, I can’t keep my balance. The ground knocks what little breath I had out of me and I lie face down on the stones, trying to recover it. Soon, I trust myself enough to get to my knees. As I do, I see legs walking in my direction. Great. Now Rornak or Quillan is back to mock me.

Instead, I feel a strong hand on my arm, pulling me up. “Come on,” says Meiko’s voice. “It’s not much further.” I know I should do it on my own, but I’m too tired to say anything. Meiko leads me along the path at a brisk walk, and before long, I can see the valley opening back up into the larger one that houses the academy.

By now, I’m feeling much better and as we come in sight of the building, I shake off her hand. “Thank you,” I say. “But I have to do this myself.”

I break into a slow run, almost missing her soft “Alright.”

Lork Rornak watches us as we climb the stairs. He doesn’t look happy. For me, all he does is glare at me as I pass, but Meiko he stops. I pause just inside the door to see what he does. “You’re late,” he says.

“I’m sorry, Lord,” she murmurs.

“You won’t live much longer if you don’t find some strength. If you even have any. Now come on.”

I hear him shove her forward and they come inside. It looks like Rornak is going to say more, but then he notices me. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” I reply. Meiko and I walk hurriedly back the way we came up here. I’m going to be incredibly sore tomorrow. Right now, my legs are shaking and everything hurts. Twice, I trip over a stair and have to clutch at cracks in the wall to keep from falling. Meiko doesn’t offer to help and I don’t ask.

When we walk into the mess hall, it’s all I can do to walk to the food line with dignity. As soon as I reach it, I snatch up a cup and fill it with water. The cool liquid pours down my throat and hits my stomach like a punch. I reach over to fill it again, but Meiko stops me. “Don’t drink too fast,” she warns. “You’ll make yourself sick.”

She’s right. I set the cup on a tray, hoping my trembling hands don’t make me spill, and move down the line. Today they’ve decided to feed us short cylinders of an unidentifiable meat and gloppy porridge made from a grain I don’t recognize.

We sit in the same spots we did yesterday, across from Tyrin and Kalas. Tyrin is sweaty, but he looks pleased with himself. Kalas seems worried, as I’m beginning to guess is usual for him. Meiko seems uncomfortable, scooting away from me a bit and starting a conversation with the others instead. I settle myself very deliberately before starting to eat. Even the smell of food makes me nauseous, but I eat it anyway. I have to replenish my lost energy before my muscles stop working altogether. The porridge is very bland, but doesn’t taste too bad. The meat is actually pretty good.

“I did terrible,” says Kalas.

“You couldn’t have been that bad,” says Meiko. “I saw you. You were maybe twentieth.”

“I was tenth,” says Tyrin. “What about you and Kiarn?”

“I was dead last. Who finished first?”

“Karanni, of course.”

“Ah.” A brief wail like an alarm sounds, and everyone begins to stand up. Time to go to our first class, I guess. It should be Lord Erilinn’s since Lord Eliss does hers after lunch,k and Lord Rornak’s is later in the morning. Unless I slept through both morning classes yesterday.

In the classroom, a different one from the one Eliss used yesterday, we all take positions and stand ready. Meiko stands on my right, Tyrin on my left, and Kalas in front. This room is high-ceilinged like the mess hall, built of the same reddish-brown stone. Apart from us, it’s completely empty.

Lord Erilinn enters the room and everyone falls silent. He’s wearing a light grey tunic, dark grey pants, and a black vest, lightly padded. Two lightsabers hand from his belt. Interesting. Duel wielding isn’t unheard of among the sith, but it’s not particularly common either. Walking over to a small console I hadn’t noticed before, he sets his palm on its surface. A light blinks and I hear a beep. To my surprise, a hidden door slides open next to him and he pulls out a wheeled cart full of poll-like objects. Each is about as long as my torso and maybe four centimeters in diameter.

Erilinn shuts the closet, and motions for everyone to stand back. I’m near the front of the crowd and for the first time, I realize how young he is to be teaching here, only a few years older than me. I’m older than most of the acolytes here, but still, I wonder how he got this job. I wonder if I could get one like it when I graduate. Teaching a batch or two of young sithlings could be beneficial. I have to graduate first, though.

Pulling out his lightsabers, Erilinn ignites them and leaps into action. The red blades twist in elaborate patterns and I give up on figuring out what he’s doing, just watching. A hunger is growing inside me, and longing to be able to use a weapon like that. I can see it on the faces of some of the others, too.

He finishes and deactivates his sabers. “Now, obviously, I don’t expect you to be able to do all that today, but it is a demonstration of the combat style that arises from the form we’re going to study next. I’ll demonstrate some of the basics, and we’ll work from there.” He directs us over to the rack, where I pick up one of the poles. I see now that it’s a non-lethal training saber, probably weighted just like the real thing. It feels strange in my hand, but I can’t help a bit of excitement as I take my place for the exercise.

While the pose and slashing movements seemed simple enough, I quickly find that it’s difficult to balance with even the one training saber. Meiko seems a little lost too, though not as badly as I am. Kalas is predictably bad, but Tyrin takes to saber practice easily.

After I struggle for about fifteen minutes, Lord Erilinn walks by inspecting our progress as he goes. He pauses in front of Meiko, corrects a few things in her posture, and watches her do the sequence afresh. This time he seems more satisfied and moves on to me. Before I even start to move, he holds up a hand to stop me. “Have you ever used a lightsaber before?”

I shake my head, and then look around quickly to see if anyone saw. It’s probably obvious that I’m terrible at this to anyone who looks, but admitting it is different. Only one person is watching, a tall Zabrak female with a look of scorn on her face. I pretend not to notice her.

“ Then this is too advanced for you,” says Erilinn. “I’ll show you something simpler. But first, show me how you hold your lightsaber.”

I brandish it and try an experimental slash or two. He smiles. “At least your grip is correct, that’s better than a lot of people when they start. But you’re too closed in and tense. Try to relax your limbs and don’t keep your elbows so close your sides. There you go.”

He instructs me in some basic stances and movements and continues on to Tyrin. I try out the new sequence, and discover that it’s not much easier than the first one. My limbs are clumsy and awkward, and I keep losing my place. By the time class ends, I’m more exhausted than I thought possible.

All too soon, Lord Rornak strides into the room. He’s wearing an outfit very similar to Erilinn’s but without the shirt. His face is in its usually stony expression. I drag myself back upright, but not quickly enough. “Having a good nap, acolyte?” he says, loud enough for everyone to hear.

I feel my face growing red. “As a matter of fact, yes. Quite plesent.” It’s probably not very smart to antagonize him, but if I can save a bit of dignity with the other students, it might be worth it in the long run. Might.

Rornak holds my eyes for a few seconds before looking away. “It’s time to start. Today, we are going to do some unarmed combat.” He searches the group. “Meiko and Karanni, come up here.”

I hear Meiko swallow nervously, but she walks up to the front of the room, pushing her brown hair out of her face. The other students part in front of her. Somehow, I know this isn’t going to end well. Karanni, the Zabrak I noticed earlier, is, at least outwardly, the perfect sith student. Tall and muscular, with red skin and black hair cut into spikes that emphasize the horns forming a ridge along the top of her head. Her clan tattoos are the same as Quillan’s. I wonder if they’re related. I’m pretty sure that the clans are large enough that not everyone in one is technically related. She smiles as she stands across from Meiko. Rornak gives her a nod and she tackles the Miraluka.

Kalas blocks my view at first, but as I scoot around, I see them wrestling on the floor. Meiko isn’t a particularly small person, but Karanni is still taller and heavier than she is, and she’s getting the worst of it. I should help, but a glare from Rornak stops me before I can make a move. Finally, he calls it off and helps Karanni to her feet. Meiko seems like she’s having trouble standing, so I offer her my hand. She pulls herself up by it, but keeps herself upright under her own power.

“Now, everyone, break into pairs. Karanni, why don’t you work with her?” He points at me, and I know that this is payback for snarking at him earlier. I knew I shouldn’t have done that. He says something to Meiko, and she limps out of the room.

After Rornak gives us some brief directions, we drag mats over and start to fight. I know right away that I’m in trouble. Our goal is to throw our opponent to the ground and hold them there for five seconds. I come to Karanni’s shoulder, and she’s got at least 35 kilos on me. She grabs for me as soon as Rornak tells us to start, and she grabs for me. My dodge isn’t quite fast enough, and I hit the floor with an impact that sends arcs of pain up my bruised shoulder.

“One, two, three, four, five!” shouts Karanni, letting me up at the end with a triumphant expression on her face. I steel myself for the next bout. It lasts slightly longer than the next one, but I still end up on the floor in less than thirty seconds. I’m starting to get frustrated. Karanni is strong and fast, but she has to have a weakness. I just can’t find it. Every time I lose, her expression gets more superior and I know that I have to win, at least once. As my body hits the mat once again, I feel something stirring in me, not as strongly as the day I unleashed lightning for the first time, but still there. I swipe the blood away from my split lip and stand again.

Karanni notices that something has changed. Her next assault is still aggressive, but less reckless. This time, I twist and spin, managing to avoid her much longer than I have before. Finally, an opening presents itself and I grab her arm, trying to flip her over my shoulder the way she has before. She’s too heavy, and instead she pulls my own arm around my back. I yelp at the sudden pain and she shoves me to the ground. Once again, I hear her count off five. “Nice try, girl,” she says in a low voice. “Almost as good as some protocol droids I’ve seen.”

I’ve had far worse said to me, but I’m far too upset to rationalize this. A red mist clouds my vision and I feel the Force flowing through me in a way it never has during a lesson. I raise my knee and drive it into Karanni’s stomach as hard as I can. She doubles up in pain but recovers quickly. She’s smiling, like I’m finally presenting a challenge. I throw my punches as fast as I can, not bothering to check if they land or not, and have the satisfaction of seeing her fall back under my assault. Still, she’s not an easy fight, and through my rage I’m vaguely aware of pain, though I can’t pick out the source. I can’t really see anything now, or hear anything besides the roaring in my ears. Suddenly, I realize that I can’t hit Karanni anymore. She’s fallen to the ground, and though she’s still conscious, she’s staring up at me in surprise. I’ve beaten her.

But I have to do more than that. I have to make sure she’ll never be able to humiliate me again. I stretch my hand out toward her, calling up the lightning that will end her life. But I can’t. The mist is clearing, and I see what lies before me: a Zabrak with a bloody nose and a bruise rising on her cheek, looking shocked. Not defenseless, but certainly not fighting back. Turning away, I run out the door of the classroom, and no-one tries to stop me.

Rornak's class starts, and he makes it clear from the start that he dislikes Meiko, and will let the other students beat on her without interference. Kiarn is annoyed by this, but decides not to challenge him on it. While they practice unarmed combat, Kiarn is paired with Karanni, who physically outmatches her. Kiarn grows more and more frustrated, eventually losing her grip when Karanni insults her and channeling the dark side to win the fight. Blinded by her rage and releasing her pent up frustrations from the day, Kiarn thinks about killing Karanni, but realizes what she is about to do and flees the room.

I pelt down the hall, not caring if anyone follows me. I run into Meiko and brush past her without a word. “Kiarn, what’s going on?” I hear her call.

The dorms flash past in a blur and I stumble into the refresher. The mist has faded now, but I still feel hot and upset. What happened to me? I’ve lost my temper before, but never like that, never over so little.

Standing in front of the sink, I run cold water over my hands and splash it on my face until they cool. As I turn on the water, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and can’t look away. My eyes are bright yellow with dark circles around them, and my skin, while still pale, has taken on a hellish glow, like firelight on bone. So this is what I look like as a sith. Even as I watch, though, I’m fading back to my normal green eyes and colorless face.

The anger is gone too, leaving only a hollow, empty ache. I’ve been so foolish. So weak. Getting involved with Meiko, thinking I had it all handled, even whatever just happened with Karanni, it was all stupid. I have to learn to control my emotions better if I want to succeed.

Everyone is probably going to lunch now, but first they’ll come back here. I don’t want to see anyone right now, but I don’t think there’s time to get out of the dorms before they come back. So I slip back to my room and crawl under the cot, feeling like a little kid hiding from my nightmares again. It’s certainly not roomy, but there’s enough space for me to curl up and not be seen unless someone looks directly under the bed. I guess being small has its advantages.

I hear the sound of the rest of the students coming in. They don’t sound any different than normal. I’m pretty sure outbursts like that aren’t uncommon. I can see Tyrin and Kahnishh’s legs coming in. They move around for a few minutes, and then go out, leaving me alone. The silence presses in on me and my limbs start to ache again. My stomach growls. How am I going to make it through tomorrow?

I am not going to cry, I tell myself. Crying is weak, and it will only encourage others to pick on me. As soon as everyone leaves, I crawl out and sit on my bed, pressing my fingers against my temples. My head hurts.

“Kiran?” says Meiko’s voice. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go away.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see her flinch. “No, wait. I didn’t mean that. Come in.”

She sits down on Tyrin’s bed, running her fingers absently over the blanket. “What happened?”

“Nothing, really. I lost control of myself, that’s all.”

“That kind of thing is frightening, I’ve heard.”

“It’s never happened to you?”

She shakes her head. “Rornak says it’s what’s holding me back. Along with other things.” She makes a face.

“So you never get upset during his classes?” I find that hard to believe.

“No, I do. I think I just reign in my emotions well. I can help you if you want. And help you get caught up in your classes too.”

Interesting. I wonder how she learned to do that. Even with all the practice I’ve had hiding my emotions, rage still boils up sometimes. “Thank you. But I don’t want to make my anger go away, just keep from losing myself in it.” I can’t go flying off the handle like this, but I’d be a fool to ignore the extra power that comes along with my anger.

“Alright. We can start after Lord Eliss’s class.”

“Thank you. And Meiko? I’m sorry about this morning.”

“That’s alright. I understand. I’m going to go get lunch. Are you coming?”

“No, I’m not hungry.” Which isn’t strictly true. I can feel physically that my body needs food, but have no desire to eat. Meiko looks at me askance, but leaves without commenting. As she leaves, I lay down. I don’t forgive easily, so it feels weird to ask for forgiveness, and even weirder to receive it.

Perhaps coming to the academy wasn’t such a good idea after all. Everything seemed simple when I planned it, lying in bed at night. Here, nothing as as easy as I expected. In my heart, I know that Meiko will eventually hold me back and that I should avoid getting involved with her more than I have to. But I can’t bring myself to coldly ignore her, not after all she’s done for me without asking anything in return. Nowhere in my calculations did I include the fact that I might not hate all the acolytes.

For now, though, I do need her help. She’s the best way to get caught up to the rest of the students, and she can help me figure out how to reign in these outbursts. I’ve only had one, but it was disturbingly easy to get worked up. I think something about Korriban itself feeds rage. Besides, I can always ditch her later if I have to. No, you won’t, says a little voice in my head. You’ll be too weak. I ignore it.

My headcannon is that dark side corruption manifests itself differently in different people, depending on how they look to begin with and how exactly they relate to the Force.