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Making fun of Episode 7


Frenesi's Avatar


Frenesi
12.19.2015 , 12:08 PM | #1
Spoilers alert, probably? I'll try not to go into them much, but still...

Ok, I've enjoyed most of SW episodes. My least favorite was Ep.2, becouse nothing interesting happened for half a movie, but it payed back with bad*** ending. No episode of SW ever made me laugh in voice, right in cinema. Well, that one did it. So, here is a bunch of things I've found hilarious, and not in a good way. Pardon my terrible sense of humor:

"Hello, I'm Jakku. I'm that new place from new film, and I'm totally not Tatooine. You are about to see bunch of other people and places who are totally not people and places from Ep.4. Enjoy the film"

While we are at it: "New Hope remastered. Again".

"Oh, hi, I'm that black guy. Jakob Taylor? Finn? Whatever. I try my best to play the character, but have absolutely no useful skills and play almost no role in the events that are happening. Even the director decided to put me into coma. Cya"

"Darth Platypus". Seriously, that actor's face was terrible. His nose perfectly matches his duck-like mask.

Kylo Ren is hysterical little *****. He looks like 16 years old and behaves exactly as such. Yea, at first it looks intimidating, but then we see his face and it all becomes clear. Did he also escape from home and got mixed with bad company?

Kylo Ren is useless little ****. Did you ask why his lightsaber is so retarded? Well, it's becouse this little ***** doesn't know how to wield it. It's for purely decorative reasons. Oh, and also for smashing computers. Really, is THAT a villain we are supposed to fear for next 2 films?

"Hello, we are The First Order. We are a group of professional cosplayers, dedicated to reenact old Empire. We already have our members cosplaying Darth Vader, Darth Sidious and grand moff Tarkin. We even built our own Death Star!"

And no, grand moff Tarkin, you are not. Tarkin stayed at the bridge when his station got destroyed, to bravely die with his slippers. He didn't run away to whine to his superiors.

Talking about Tarkin's slippers, why nobody tryed to recover them? That would be an awesome relic to worship.

While we are talking about recovered junk in general, why don't bring back Luke's cut-off hand? It should have been right there with the saber. Some people would want that for collection as well.

How did you get that saber from the gas giant core again? Oh, it's a "long story". Gotcha.

Also, why nobody gives a **** about 5 planets that got destroyed? Were they that meaningless? Why even destroy them then?

Luke looks like he was drinking all the 30 years, and now has terrible hangover. Guess that happens when you **** up the training of your only student.

That is all. Feel free to continue
I just dropped in
To see in what condition my condition was in

Referal with some free crap.

khsolo's Avatar


khsolo
12.19.2015 , 02:24 PM | #2
My thoughts exactly

Garravesh's Avatar


Garravesh
12.19.2015 , 11:48 PM | #3
Quote: Originally Posted by Frenesi View Post
Spoilers alert, probably? I'll try not to go into them much, but still...

Ok, I've enjoyed most of SW episodes. My least favorite was Ep.2, becouse nothing interesting happened for half a movie, but it payed back with bad*** ending. No episode of SW ever made me laugh in voice, right in cinema. Well, that one did it. So, here is a bunch of things I've found hilarious, and not in a good way. Pardon my terrible sense of humor:

"Hello, I'm Jakku. I'm that new place from new film, and I'm totally not Tatooine. You are about to see bunch of other people and places who are totally not people and places from Ep.4. Enjoy the film"

While we are at it: "New Hope remastered. Again".

"Oh, hi, I'm that black guy. Jakob Taylor? Finn? Whatever. I try my best to play the character, but have absolutely no useful skills and play almost no role in the events that are happening. Even the director decided to put me into coma. Cya"

"Darth Platypus". Seriously, that actor's face was terrible. His nose perfectly matches his duck-like mask.

Kylo Ren is hysterical little *****. He looks like 16 years old and behaves exactly as such. Yea, at first it looks intimidating, but then we see his face and it all becomes clear. Did he also escape from home and got mixed with bad company?

Kylo Ren is useless little ****. Did you ask why his lightsaber is so retarded? Well, it's becouse this little ***** doesn't know how to wield it. It's for purely decorative reasons. Oh, and also for smashing computers. Really, is THAT a villain we are supposed to fear for next 2 films?

"Hello, we are The First Order. We are a group of professional cosplayers, dedicated to reenact old Empire. We already have our members cosplaying Darth Vader, Darth Sidious and grand moff Tarkin. We even built our own Death Star!"

And no, grand moff Tarkin, you are not. Tarkin stayed at the bridge when his station got destroyed, to bravely die with his slippers. He didn't run away to whine to his superiors.

Talking about Tarkin's slippers, why nobody tryed to recover them? That would be an awesome relic to worship.

While we are talking about recovered junk in general, why don't bring back Luke's cut-off hand? It should have been right there with the saber. Some people would want that for collection as well.

How did you get that saber from the gas giant core again? Oh, it's a "long story". Gotcha.

Also, why nobody gives a **** about 5 planets that got destroyed? Were they that meaningless? Why even destroy them then?

Luke looks like he was drinking all the 30 years, and now has terrible hangover. Guess that happens when you **** up the training of your only student.

That is all. Feel free to continue
You risk much in angering the fanboys of the movie.....their wrath could lead to countless rebuttals cluttering up your email box if you are subscribed....

I felt about the same as you did in much of the movie. I had a wee spot of tearey eyes with the appearance of......wait for it....almost there......C3PO.....they finally repaired his leg.....

Darth Wannabee was, by far the most ridiculous...coupled with Darth Snooki.

Why make a movie that is already going to be successful when all you do is take the same plot and rehash it into a new story.....I thought the force was balanced...did not Anakin bring balance to the force......there is no more Sith and no more Jedi.......Marc Hamill is on vacation at his island retreat and the Sith are all but defeated......the Force is balanced........So why the hell would the force reawaken and cause unbalance? It feels to me like the force is confused..........the new name of this movie Star Wars A new hope of rebalancing itself...

SithKoriandr's Avatar


SithKoriandr
12.20.2015 , 12:10 AM | #4
I enjoyed the movie, but I did think it would be funny if Luke was found on what looked to be a tropical island, sitting in a lounge chair with a pina coloda in each hand.
"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more...than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so *********** what." - Stephen Fry

lukewarcriminal's Avatar


lukewarcriminal
12.20.2015 , 12:28 AM | #5
well...
Spoiler
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Master-Nala's Avatar


Master-Nala
12.20.2015 , 08:01 AM | #6
Disney movie is a Disney movie. Fun, but vapid. I'm not sure why anyone expected much else, especially from JJ Abrams. There's no great meaning here, we aren't going to be quoting this movie 30 years from now (well, except for the parts where it quotes 4-6).

I read an interview with George Lucas where he said Disney wasn't interested in his vision for 7-9. That's a shame, IMO. I always thought the problems with the prequel trilogy could have been corrected with some better editing and tightening the script. Instead they did what they always do, make a funny, action packed movie for the masses.
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SaibotLiu's Avatar


SaibotLiu
12.20.2015 , 09:38 AM | #7
MMm those tears are extra salty.

Loved the movie, glad you hated it and it ruined your day/

Frenesi's Avatar


Frenesi
12.20.2015 , 10:01 AM | #8
Quote: Originally Posted by SaibotLiu View Post
MMm those tears are extra salty.

Loved the movie, glad you hated it and it ruined your day/
You know, another thing i find funny is how you funboys are absolutely unable to take criticism, much less respond to it and try to defend your position. I definetely had a good time with a movie I believe to be bad. Salty tears are all yours here.
I just dropped in
To see in what condition my condition was in

Referal with some free crap.

SaibotLiu's Avatar


SaibotLiu
12.20.2015 , 10:24 AM | #9
Quote: Originally Posted by Frenesi View Post
You know, another thing i find funny is how you funboys are absolutely unable to take criticism, much less respond to it and try to defend your position. I definetely had a good time with a movie I believe to be bad. Salty tears are all yours here.
The only one unable to take criticism here is you my pedigreed chum. I had no involvement in making the film whatsoever, I've not been critiqued in the slightest so maybe you want to rethink your position and start again.

What position am I to defend, that I liked the movie. You either agree with me or you're not worth more than disdain to be honest, I'm pretty sure that's all you were offered. I'm not surprised if you do not accept my generous offer, as you've shown extremely poor judgement up to this point.

Your tears are delicious.

khsolo's Avatar


khsolo
12.20.2015 , 12:26 PM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by Frenesi View Post
You know, another thing i find funny is how you funboys are absolutely unable to take criticism, much less respond to it and try to defend your position. I definetely had a good time with a movie I believe to be bad. Salty tears are all yours here.
Good post, my thoughts exactly, was a good movie, somewhat around what i expected but dissapointed at some absurdities which i pointed out in my other post, will probably watch again and definatelly recomend but still hard to swalow that 20 or so fighters can blow up a world full of people and defenses that eat starts for breakfast but understand that its disneys way

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=860987