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Star Wars: the Old Republic Fanfiction

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > General Discussion > Off-Topic
Star Wars: the Old Republic Fanfiction

EaleoSolice's Avatar


EaleoSolice
12.17.2013 , 07:09 AM | #1
Hey everyone, I wrote a Star Wars: the Old Republic Fanfiction (only Chapter One is complete). I was wondering what you all thought of it, and how I can make it better! Here's the link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9932341/1/Dark-Temptations

Thanks:
EaleoSolice
Ealeo Solice

EaleoSolice's Avatar


EaleoSolice
05.30.2014 , 05:53 PM | #2
Bump. Would love some criticism
Ealeo Solice

Adaliaya's Avatar


Adaliaya
06.03.2014 , 12:03 PM | #3
Nice one

EaleoSolice's Avatar


EaleoSolice
06.10.2014 , 04:49 PM | #4
Thank you! Hopefully I can get more ideas!
Ealeo Solice

Manweth's Avatar


Manweth
06.17.2014 , 03:58 PM | #5
Weak storytelling. Needs embellishment.

Characters are generic. This usually improves with repetition of writing.

4/10. You must try harder.
Manw, Former Vigilance Player and Guardian Advocate.
Former Raider. Eternal Revan Fanboy.
Nothing else matters at this point.

EaleoSolice's Avatar


EaleoSolice
06.18.2014 , 06:39 PM | #6
Thanks for the criticism! I'm only 14, so I have a lot more time to improve! I'll try to make it better haha.
Ealeo Solice