What is it about flowers? Loved that last passage, and it reminds me again of why Belsavis, is still to this day (After 6 characters) my favorite planet. I totally did a cheesy sigh after reading this.

I'm running out of words to express how much I enjoy this story.

 

 

Love all of this. All all all of this.

 

The piece on the Tyrant - your bounty hunter is darker in many ways than mine was, but almost every reaction to Tormen - it was perfectly perfect. And seeing the piece right after in both her and Torian's perspectives was just excellent. And then her reactions to flowers on Belsavis - I love how she wants to be pretty. I love how that concerns her.

 

Just, really really love this.

 

Thanks

 

What is it about flowers? Loved that last passage, and it reminds me again of why Belsavis, is still to this day (After 6 characters) my favorite planet. I totally did a cheesy sigh after reading this.

 

Everyone likes flowers XD

I like the thought that some one like her could like something as romantic and 'girlie' as flowers. Though some of her reasons for liking plants are a little.... not right.

Yeah, Belsavis and Voss are my favourites. Though halfway through Voss I always get frustrated with all classes that I'm not 50 yet and on Corellia.

Yay for cheesy sighs

 

----

 

And here's a link to my once again updated view from Torian in response to last post here.

It's alright. Has flowers, of course ;p

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?p=5311892#post5311892

Later that night....

 

 

'What are you working on? Know what time it is, right?'

 

Torian lifts his head up from the small thing he is working on. I can't see his eyes. He hasn't raised his mask. I walk down the steps for a closer look as he turns the torch off.

 

It's late at night. Or early morning. Depends on your perspective. I heard him working on something. He does that sometimes. Never felt close enough to him to ask before. Guess I figure what he does in private is private. But I couldn't sleep. And privacy doesn't really exist on this ship. So I came down on an impulse and whim.

 

I sit down on a tool box across from him. He still doesn't raise the heat mask. Makes me feel self conscious. Like to see others eyes. Didn't think to put something over the torn, old shirt I wear as a dress. It has no sleeves anymore and is missing a few buttons. Some of the bottom of it is also torn. But it's comfortable and loose. And covers what it needs to.

 

He's not much better. No shirt. But he has long pants on. Doesn't seem safe to weld without a shirt on. Manly, but unsafe. We go fighting creatures, thugs, Jedi, soldiers and just about anything else on a daily basis and I'm saying that's unsafe? I shake my head. Like the view more than a little.

 

He keeps staring at me. I assume he's looking at me. 'New mod for your blaster. Was going to surprise you.'

 

I feel very self-conscious. If I thought it would help, I would wrap my arms around me. Guess I shouldn't of been so impulsive. I hate feeling vulnerable. 'Thanks, I guess.'

 

He lifts up his mask. His face is red from the heat. But it is earnest. And interestingly enough, his eyes are focusing on somewhere on my forehead or just above my head. Makes me smirk a little and feel more at ease. Don't think I like this silence, so I decide to break it. 'Didn't know you could craft. What else can you do?'

 

His lips twitch at this. Didn't mean it as flirtatious. 'Mods, enhancements, anything small and needing fine details. Not as good at larger armour. Competent, but barely.'

 

I nod. Interesting. Learn something new every day. Always wondered what Torian did for a hobby. Didn't seem fond of drinking or women. Just assumed he spent time practicing or... no idea really. Didn't know what he spent his share of the cut on either. Didn't have to check his like I do Gault's. Guess I know now. Maybe I don't know everything that goes on in the ship.

 

I don't know what to say now, so we sit in an uncomfortable silence. Too aware of the other, but neither wanting to show that they are.

 

'Got anything else you've made around? Would like to see.' Don't want to acknowledge the something we're feeling.

 

The corners of his mouth twitch up and he nods. He stands up and walks to his bed under the stairs. When he comes back, he has a medium size crate in his hands and a shirt on. He puts the crate in front of me, along with a half empty bottle of rum and two glasses and walks back to his bed. I feel something heavy fall onto my shoulders. I look at it. A blanket. I pull it around me.

 

Torian sits across from me. Back to normal now. I pour us a drink as he shows me things. Most are mods and enhancements. A pair of wrist guards. But there are also small metal statues. He doesn't take them out to show me and puts the crate back on the ground, hoping I won't notice as he describes the process for making mods. But I saw it wasn't empty and pick it up for myself. He almost challenges me. But doesn't.

 

There are intricate weldings of strange creatures. Some trees and other things. One I like best though is a flower. I remember seeing them on Taris. Picking it up and putting it behind my ear on impulse... It's beautiful. No other word could describe it. It shines in the light. There are tiny carvings along the petals and leaves. Veins. It's detail is amazing. Guess I must show my awe rather obviously.

 

I glance at him. He is staring at me. But looks away quickly. 'They're good. Pretty impressive, Torian.' An understatement. But he radiates pride. I pack the sculptures away and ask questions about the mods and barrels.

 

'Show me how to make them one day?' Strange gap in my education. Wonder why I don't. Guess they always gave me enough money and all the weapons I needed.

 

'Can now, if you like.' He's a little nervous but hides it well. Always so serious. I nod and he hands me a mask. He motions for me to come back over to the seat. I sit on the ground next to him. But he shakes his head moves me to his lap. He's tall enough to still see clearly over my head and I realise how tall he really is. Guess he really isn't a kid. Haven't thought of him like that in a long time.

 

He moves his arms around me, every now and again telling me to hold the torch or tongs as he reaches for other things, constantly giving instructions of what he's doing. Find it hard at first to listen and concentrate but then it become easy, and I relax against him. Never felt this comfortable in a man's arms before. Not sure what to do with these feelings. So I ignore it. And enjoy learning something new. And learning it from Torian.

 

I don't realise how long it has been until Mako walks into the room, rubbing sleep from her eyes but already dressed. 'What are you two doing? It's dawn already.' She looks at us suspiciously. We raise our masks but don't speak. Morning already. Should of been awake and half way through my exercises by now.

 

Mako shakes her head when we don't reply. 'Whatever. I'm going to make some breakfast. Want any?' She only looks at Torian. It grates on my nerves a little and I scowl at her. I glance at him and he seems oblivious. He switches off the torch, shakes his head and doesn't move. Blizz appears behind her and they wander off to the galley, Mako throwing me a glare before she disappears. Torian sighs and I slide off his lap. I stand up and can't think of what to do. So I decide to run away.

 

'Guess I'll have first shower. Maybe you can show me more another time.'

 

I turn and make for the shower. I don't know why I feel so flustered. But I do know why I feel more than a little annoyed at Mako. I smirk at the thought of whinging to Torian the other night on spending so much time training with me. I just laughed and walked out, leaving him to deal with her. I quickly undress and avoid looking at the woman in the mirror. The water is hot on my skin. Almost hurts.

 

When I return to my room, there's a bundle of red silk on my bed. My made bed. I never make my bed. I dry my hair with a towel as I walk over to it, and unwrap what's inside with my free hand.

 

It's the flower.

 

I pick it up and hold to my nose. It doesn't smell of course. But it's still beautiful and cold on my nose. I put it on the shelf above my bed. I go to throw the silk into a draw but stop when I see the note. I unfold it carefully, trying not to get it too wet.

 

Remember them on Taris?

 

Made it for you. Thought you might want the memento.

 

Hope it isn't worthless.*

 

I throw the towel on the ground and get dressed into my armour. I glance at the flower before leaving the room. It's far from worthless. I tuck the note into my desk draw. Not sure what else to do with it or these feelings.

 

For now, I think I will hide them from sight.

 

-----

 

 

 

* Linked to the BH calling the flower 'worthless' once its crushed in the mud. In case you fogot XD

 

----

 

 

 

 

Ok, going to post a Torian soon XD

Then there'll be no more mentioning flowers

Wooords, how do I use them? Loved it, as always!

So sweet!

Wooords, how do I use them? Loved it, as always!

 

So sweet!

 

 

Updated Yours to Hold.

Link: http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?p=5315780#post5315780

In the shuttle down to Belsavis on the third day, Blizz is silent.

 

'Something up, Blizz?'

 

The Jawa looks nervous. Or as nervous as two eyes can look. He's kinda cute. Never thought of anything as cute before. I like him.

 

'Boss? Blizz have question about boss job?'

 

I smile at him encouragingly. I'm kind of gentle to the little guy. I'm glad I pulled him along. He's slightly scared of me. He's smart. 'Go on Blizz. Ask me anything. Haven't got any secrets from my crew.' A lie. But I don't mind. They don't need to know about that. Torian doesn't need to know about that.

 

'Blizz pretty sure Boss is not pirate, but boss beats up lots of people. Blizz confused about what Boss does.'

 

I laugh a little. Not meanly. I don't smirk. I glance at Torian. He is standing next to me, both across from Blizz. His mouth is twitching. Gault is looking bored and standing apart from us. He hasn't take to our newest member. Don't think he likes the removal of our drinking again.

 

'Well, Blizz. What I do is pretty simple. I'm a bounty hunter. I track down individuals no one else can find.' And kill them. Usually. 'Sometimes, people try and get in my way. That's all.'

 

'So boss find people in hard to reach places. Boss sounds more like salvager than pirate.' I grin. He's kinda got it. I don't really want him to. I want to protect this bizarre, innocent view of the world. I want his good opinion. 'That's okay with Blizz. Blizz likes salvager better anyway.' He seems resolute. All questions gone. Everything clear and simple. Understood. Wish things were really as simple as he sees them.

 

'I'm glad we're on the same page. Mostly.' I smile down at him. The shuttle rocks. We hold on tighter. We will be landing soon. I don't understand why there are no seats for passengers. Pain shoots through my arm. It twisted. I let go gasping. Torian catches me in one arm. Holding me close. He doesn't let go even when the turbulence stops. I don't try to move. I don't want to do what's harder. For this moment, I allow myself to be weak.

 

'Space things confuse Blizz sometimes. But Blizz smart. He figures them out eventually.' Blizz misses his old crew. He wants to be with them. I know we are no replacements. Too filled with our own disagreements and rifts. It doesn't grate on my nerves that he hopes to see them again. Not like Mako does.

 

'I find people for a living, Blizz. You'll see them again. I promise.'

 

It makes Blizz happy. He is practically jumping. I imagine a large smile under his eyes. I am not lying. I do find people for a living. And I will make sure that before the end, he will see his crew again.

 

Torian's arm tightens around me.

 

We land on Belsavis.

Later on the same day...

 

 

We thaw the agitators.

 

I was thinking more murderers but I could tell as my hand hovered over the screen, Torian was disapproving. He smiles when I change my mind. Amazing that some are going to owe their lives to the fact that I like to see him smile. Have to slaughter some more prisoners on the way out then.

 

Ruger calls. He's the 'law man' here on Balsavis. One the Sith warned me about. Makes an empty threat. I go and stay where I please for as long as I please. 'You have no idea who you are talking to. I'm more than a bounty hunter.'

 

He threatens me with jail. I've already escaped the worst jail the Republic has to offer. I am free. And I will do anything to stay that way. Even burn the galaxy to the ground.

 

 

----

 

Some time later around dusk on the same day...

 

We carve our way back to the space port.

 

I'm up close and shooting. Torian at my back. We are surrounded. But it's ok. I'm enjoying cracking a few skulls. Can't think of anything I'd rather be doing. Well...

 

Torian is distractingly close. Ever since we... left Hoth the first time, I have been different. I find things harder to control and ignore. Tormen only made it worse. Don't think I realised how strong I felt it till I was confronted with the reality I could lose him at any moment. Don't think I have ever been so distracted either. I want two things at once and I'm scared of one. I don't want to admit these things in words. Never thought I'd be scared of a man again. I hate the things I can't fight.

 

'Ever eaten Mandalorian food?' Torian ducks and dodges between blaster shots while still protecting my back. He takes down one. 'Switch.' We swap places. I flame thrower the prisoners while Torian ducks behind them. Attacking from the back.

 

'At your coronation maybe?' We continue fighting and shooting. Slowly we make it closer to the exit of the cave.

 

'Are you asking me to dinner?' I grapple hook one of the fighters off Torian, leaving him room to move. I feel blissful. I would smile, but it's hard when fighting ten rift lurkers. I seem to be making a habit of these feelings. A nice change. We break through the entrance only to find more prisoners in an ambush.

 

'Maybe.' His voice is low and warm. A loud yes. I beam. We look at each. Somehow, this moment became the sweetest of my life. I smirk a little. Certainly knows how to impress a girl.

 

'Duck.' We say it in unison. We both duck down. The soldiers shoot each other in the chest. Two more down. If I'm honest with myself, I would admit that I'm tired. I need more serum. I've had to boost it to twice a day for awhile. I'm in pain. But I'm happy. As we kill the last of the soldiers, I think it's nice to be alive.

 

'How would I know if it was Mando food?' We stop running and rest and a little. Just another hour if we don't get into too many more fights. Torian perches on a rock. I stand and drink. I reload and recharge everything. Then I notice. Torian is bleeding from his leg. He waves away my offers to heal it. I do it anyway, resting on my knees. I don't take orders from anyone. Even him. He doesn't complain. You would think they would teach Mandalorians how to use a med pac.

 

'If your sinus' got burned it was probably Mandalorian.' He makes a gesture around his nose. His eyes never leave what he can see of my face. Always staring. 'Hetikles. "Noseburn". It's how you know it's good.'

 

'So it was meant to do that? I was starting to think Mandalore was trying to poison me.' Torian nods and twitches at the same time. New again. 'I'm joking.' I roll my eye. He stops nodding. And instead smiles. I'm not good at jokes. Funny has never really had an opportunity to exist in my life till now. And Torian takes Mando things more serious than most. A lot more serious. Guess he has a lot to prove. So much for gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.

 

I finish on his leg and sit at the bottom of his rock. I rest my head back and close my eye. Dirt is getting tangled in my hair. I breathe evenly. I like this planet. It has a strange wild beauty. Even to me. I concentrate on Torian's heart beat. I know it so well, I sometimes think it is mine. It lessens the pain. Even in thermal, this world is amazing.

 

'I was thinking I'd make you some tiingilar. See what you think.'

 

I open my eye. I can't see his face. He is looking out. Straight ahead. I had gotten use to his constant watching. 'That depends. Will I live through it?' I smile a little. It's close to a smirk.

 

He chuckles. It reverberates in my ear and in my chest. 'Think of it as a challenge, cyare.'

 

An automatic word used in an unguarded moment. He looks away quickly after it's said. Don't think he meant to add the last word. Under his serious charade, I can see a blush. It's highly endearing. Know he's called me that a few other times. Never thought about it before, though. Always had something more urgent to think about.

 

'Cyare, huh?' I pause for a brief moment and he glances at me. I wink. He looks sharply away again. I lean against his leg. He goes rigid, but doesn't move away. 'You know I can't resist a challenge. That reminds me, I count 168 for the day in total.'

 

'170.' I look at him sceptically. It should have been twenty lower. At least. More like 40 lower. 'There were some you didn't quite finish.' He teases. I think. It's difficult to tell sometimes. His face is so often set as serious I have to search for more. I like looking. And sometimes, I think I like what I find. 'It just means you have to let me cook. For you cy-.'

 

He stops abruptly and doesn't try to cover it with another word. Just leaves it hanging in a little pause. We don't always need to speak. Often, we spend hours sitting together, when everyone else is asleep, in silence. I like those nights. On those nights, Torian doesn't lie awake as long. Or stay up in his chair.

 

'You never said you could cook. Might have saved us many horrible nights.'

 

He shrugs in reply and after a while speaks. 'They say a woman who can eat a whole plate of tiingilar is a keeper.'

 

My chest heaves and I have a strange feeling of uncontrollable smiling. I feel happy. I think happiness is what I feel. It has been so far away for so long until recently, an old and forgotten thing. I'm still not sure if such a small word can be what this overwhelming, elated and ecstatic feeling can be brought down to. But I still don't allow much hope for the future. But in this moment, I believe. And I trust.

 

'I accept your challenge then.'

 

'Good.' He looks at me. And for a moment, I see into him. He is happy. Proud. Ecstatic. Nervous. And then it's gone. And the almost stoic, charming Mandalorian is all I see. He wears a large smile. It seems slightly relieved.

 

'I'll fix you some, soon as I can get back to the galley.'

 

'Well, at this rate it will already be tomorrow.' I stand up and punch his shoulder lightly, the metal on metal making a strange clang sound. He still cringes. 'I bet I can get their faster and still have more kills.'

 

He grins. 'You're on'.

 

I'm already running.

 

 

 

 

-----

 

 

Please comment

Think it was slightly off but close enough. Makes me happy

Edited October 26, 2012 by EverSteam

Adorable Torian/Hunter moments always make me happy.

Ahhh!! The cuteness

Adorable Torian/Hunter moments always make me happy.

They make me happy too

 

Ahhh!! The cuteness

 

 

 

 

The Dinner: Part One

 

 

I am happy. For a few blissful hours, everything appears perfect. I forget all that is wrong. The galaxy and myself. All there is, is him. How long do you really think this can last?

 

We trade stories. I tell a few of my lighter fights. We laugh a lot. We are easy. We flow between speech, and laughter and silence with no unease. I like to make him grin. And tonight, he does that a lot. I can see my eager smiles and bliss in his expression. His voice. His eyes.

 

The food is good. I like it. I want seconds. And then thirds. Haven't eaten food with some form of taste in months. Torian is silently ecstatic. I like the subtle changes to his face. Disassembling them. Reading them. He is proud. And happy. We quickly run out of food. And then wine. So we take out some rum. He can certainly hold his liquor. I like that.

 

I don't know where Gault and Mako are. Or Blizz for that matter. I can't hear them in the ship. I didn't give them any errands. I have shut the droid down.

 

We are in a pause. I watch him indirectly. We were speculating as to the identity of the carbonite man that still hangs in our cargo hold. Maybe one day, someone will unfreeze him. Or come looking for him.

 

'Never thanked you, not making a big deal of me taking off.' I throw him a careless nod and smile. No point in making a big deal. It wasn't really. I wanted him to go. Because he wanted to. I missed him. But how I feel does not matter. I have no claim over him.

 

And he came back. That is enough. It's what matters.

 

'Good to see my brothers are still alive. Corridan owes me fifty credits.' He plays with his drink as he watches me.

 

'You should always collect on your debts.' I repeat an unofficial bounty hunter code.

 

'Nah. He's good for it.' He has confidence in his friends. It's a little sweet. Naive and stupid, but sweet.

 

'Well, I hated to see you go. Not gonna deny it. So he owes me a lot more.' I lean back in my throne of crates. 'I was lonely with you gone.' I avoid his eyes. Watch his strong hands fiddle with his half empty glass.

 

'Think I can spot him that one.' There's a smile on his face. I like the way they move his cheeks. His face is angular. Gorgeous. I look away again. I'm ashamed of my thoughts.

 

I don't know how to say what I want to say. How to say thank you. For the flower and more. How to tell him I was happy he came back. Our relationship is like a bubble. Exclusive and fragile. But beautiful in its own way. I'm scared that if I move too much, it will burst and break. 'Didn't think you'd come back, though. After being back with them. Thought you might realise what you're missing. Surprised you stayed so long with me after getting the call.'

 

He frowns and looks almost angry. He's so earnest. I don't always know what to make of it. ''Course I did. Thought you needed me, cyare.' His voice has more than a little hurt and angry. Didn't mean to offend his loyalty. I can't see another reason to be offended. And I needed him more then he could know. I shake my head. Don't want to think of those weeks tonight.

 

He continues.'Only made me realise what I'm missing here. Didn't need to leave to know, though.' His eyes stare into mine. And I can't look back for too long. I'm an open book. And I don't want him to read all of my pages. Not everything can change.

 

'Talking about the free alcohol, right?' I finish my drink and wink. He continues to frown. Don't know what to say. 'Didn't mean to offend. Was happy you came back.' More than happy. 'And for staying with me... you know,' I shrug a little and occupy myself by pouring out some more rum. 'Thank you.'

 

Torian covers his glass with his hand. I glance at him. He is smiling. 'Pleasure.' I can't look into his eyes any longer. I look back down to the glass. He's hand has moved. It sits open, palm up, on the table. There are calluses on his palm. His fingers look long and soft though. I pour more into his glass.

 

'And you know, while talking about 'thank you's...' I know now why I've never really said thank you before. It's so gosh darn hard. Suppose I also never had much to be thankful for. Maybe this is why it's so gosh darn uncomfortable for me. I'm putting my hand into a dark hole and hoping that nothing will tear it off. That it will find the switch to a light and somehow come out in one piece. 'Liked the flower.' That the best you could do? Did better in the taxi than that.

 

If I had been looking, I would have seen his teeth shine in a grin. I like it when they tear across his serious face. And I missed the strange blush that shines under his scars. But instead I find the bare crate between us fascinating in a way I never knew.

 

I can hear the smile in his voice. 'Almost better then the real thing?'

 

'A lot better.'

 

 

 

 

-----

 

Please comment, as usual.

How long do you really think this can last?

I wonder...

How long do you really think this can last?

I wonder...

And that line is why I'm savoring the sweetness, because while I'm hoping for a happy to the ending, I have a feeling this slice of adorable is not going to last. Still too much unresolved.

Oh, quick question, and this may not be answerable at the moment, but does she have a limited supply of the serum or has she managed to find a supplier or manufacture it herself?

Oh, quick question, and this may not be answerable at the moment, but does she have a limited supply of the serum or has she managed to find a supplier or manufacture it herself?

 

Limited supply. In between missions and hitting on Torian she's tracking down materials.

Already decided some things around that and written a piece on what they're actually all doing everyday. I just wanted to post the happy dinner first because it's happier

Part two will be up in a few hours. Just got to finish it

The Dinner: Part Two

 

 

'Been meaning to ask you something.'

 

Again. Always so many questions. I continue to smile. I like the way he thinks so much about his questions. Wonder how long he stays up and thinks about them. He leans back and crosses his arms. The muscles ripple under his shirt. No armour tonight. For a Mandalorian, it's close to being naked. And I find it very, very hard not to think about that.

 

'Did Mandalore tell you the Resol'nare when he adopted you into his clan?'

 

I already know what it is. I remember it from my lessons. But I want him to tell me. And I want to know where this is going. 'Depends. Is it important?' I don't want Torian to know I can speak Mando'a yet. A little secret surprise I have saved. Time might be here to use it.

 

'Resol'nare means 'Six Actions.' The core of Mandalorian life.' He looks at me intently. I like it when he takes on the role of a teacher. His confidence. His voice. His everything. You really are a love sick puppy sometimes, aren't you? God you make me sick. I shake my head to get rid of the voice. Tired of thinking so much. Just so very, very tired.

 

Torian continues, unaware of my thoughts. 'Taught to children in a rhyme: Ba'jur bal beskar'gam, Ara'nov, aliit, Mando'a bal Mand'alor— An vencuyan mhi. Translated it's something like...' He frowns. I like the way he has to think sometimes to speak basic. The way his sharp eyebrows join together as he tries to match words. And I find this amusing. Already know the translation. Was taught to me when I was learning Mando'a and Mandalorian culture.

 

'Education and armour,

Self-defense, our tribe,

Our language, our leader—

All help us survive.'

 

I lean forward a little and rest my elbows on the crate. 'And I'm a child, am I?' Torian grins and looks me over. He shakes his head. I like the way it makes his hair shift out of place. It looks soft. My fingers twitch a little. I want to touch it. That's a bizarre urge... I shake my head. Not myself tonight. Losing it a little.

 

He wisely doesn't comment and moves back to topic. 'Speaking the language is the big one. I could teach you, if you're up for it.' Trying to make me a good little Mandalorian. There's a challenge in his voice and eyes. It mingles with something teasing in the blue pool of his eyes.

 

I try not to smirk. Or laugh. I knew I had kept this secret for a reason. I despise myself a little, for grabbing such an excuse, any excuse, to spend hours alone with him. 'Private lessons from you? Sounds like fun. And how can I resist when you make it a challenge?' I look into his eyes. I let my lust show. I like the way he knows how to get me to say yes. Just make everything a challenge.

 

He grins quickly. 'You can't.' But then it disappears into a casual smile. 'Could learn all kinds of things.'

 

I smirk. There isn't much he could teach me. But I would like the experience of him trying. Wonder if he's been with a woman. I think so. He isn't one for false pride. And he's more than good looking enough to get any non-Mando women. Not sure about a Mando girl though. Don't think being gorgeous balances the scales. Arue'tal will always be heavier.

 

'All kinds of things? What would they include?' I lean in close. He wavers. I like making him conflicted. He likes taking it slowly. Not quite sure if this is anything beyond flirting. But at the same time, I know he's too earnest for anything less. Guess I just don't know how to trust. Can't believe in this yet. Can't believe he feels anything for me yet. So why are you still putting yourself out there?

 

'Just have to wait and see.' His lips are twitching in that irresistible way. Not sure I want to wait. Think I've been waiting too long. But you know you would wait forever.

 

'I look forward to it. Lessons could start with you telling me what 'cyare' means.' I try to play a little innocent, but it's basically all teasing. I know what it means. I just want to hear it.

 

He looks away again. The almost a blush is back. I think I like making him this embarrassed. Might be my new game. 'Means a few things. No one translation into basic.' He keeps looking away. I like the way the steps to the engine room have suddenly become fascinating to him.

 

'Well, what are they? Can't have you calling me something and not knowing what it is. Already never use my name.' I keep my eyes on his. It only makes him study the minuscule amounts of dirt on them harder. Funny to see our roles reversed.

 

'But what is your name? Your real name. Never said. Might call you it if you tell me.' He leans back a little and moves his eyes to look at me. He thinks he's changed the subject. It's amusing. He won't escape that easily. I like watching him squirm like this. 'Can't be 'Leer'.'

 

I shrug my shoulders and also lean back, taking a little sip of air from an empty glass. I turn it into a large sip and pretend to swallow. More than a little embarrassing. His lips twitch. I scowl. He smiles. 'It's a secret. You'll have to torture it out of me.' My body language and eyes scream lust.

 

He wavers. Leans a little forward, then back. He settles for filling my empty glass. I chuckle a little. 'So what's cyare mean?' I decide to save him this time. I pretend it doesn't hurt. Wonder how many times I'm going to put myself up for these small rejections.

 

He returns to watching the stairs. Then looks back at me with a large grin. 'It's a secret. You'll have to torture it out of me.' I flinch but twist it to a smirk. Never thought we'd be joking about something like that. Don't want to think of those dreams.

 

'Don't tempt me.' We watch each other. A stale mate. Each want the other to make a move but neither daring enough. I guess I'm still scared. And I don't want to destroy what we have. I'm still ugly. That hasn't really changed.

 

'Fine, you win. For a change.' I raise my hands in mock surrender. ''Leer' was my unofficial nickname in the Organisation. Don't need to say why. Decided to take it as my bounty hunter name so the Republic Organisation knew beyond any doubt who was slaughtering them.'

 

I shrug and continue. 'Name They gave me was 'Primacy'. But birth certificate said 'Lierah'.' I shrug. Irony of the name isn't lost on me. 'Never gonna find anyone who calls me that, though. And the certificate doesn't exist anymore.' I shrug again. Maybe if I keep repeating the motion, the memories of my name will be cast away. 'And it's not what I call myself.'

 

'What do you call yourself?' His voice in tentative. Gentle. I don't want his sympathy.

 

I grin. 'Not how this game works, remember?' I wink at him. Wish I'd stop the motion. Only makes me aware of my inadequacies. After all, when you only have one eye, isn't it just a blink? 'It's your turn.' I don't want him to know what I whisper to myself; the names that buzzes through my mind when I look in the mirror. I don't want his pity.

 

He smiles a little before looking back to the steps. His blush is back with vengeance.

 

'Sweetheart.'

 

If I had a heart, I know it would stop. Because what I do have does stop. It's long into the silence before I realise I haven't breathed in a while. Never thought I'd react like this. To when I hear it.

 

'Or 'beloved'. No exact translation. Though most think of it as sweetheart.' He says the words quicker than any he has ever said any. I grin stupidly. I am pathetic. To be reduced to such a drooling girl by a few words said by a mere kid. Won't be till later I realise a little irony in it. Nothing sweet about me. And I don't have a heart.

 

His eyes still don't leave the steps. 'Can I call you that, then?' He looks at me intently once he's said it. The blush is still their but I think he finds strength in his heart not being torn out by me or a gun being held to his head. I'm a little surprised by that too, now that I think about it.

 

I nod. 'I'd like that.'

 

We sit in a long, slightly uncomfortable silence. Neither sure what this is. What this makes us. I don't mind defying classification for a while. He opens and closes his mouth a lot. It's my turn to stare at the steps.

 

'Going to teach me more words like that, then?' I've gained composure and I'm teasing again. 'Think I'd like to know what else you can teach me.' I want to make him blush one more time before we say goodnight.

 

'Let's find some time for it then, later.'

 

'Later, then.' I stand up and leave. Half way up the steps I turn and meet his gaze. 'Ni vorer bah hibirar under gar, ner cyar'ika cabur.' His face is priceless. Pleasure. Shock. Surprise. Happiness. He shakes his head. Watching me go, with grin on his face. And a blush on his cheeks.

 

I will always savour that night and the feel of his eyes watching me walk away in the months to come.

 

'I accept to learn under you, my beloved protector.'

 

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

I don't know when a 'few hours' started to mean over a day but there you eventually go.

I like comments, as usual

Edited October 28, 2012 by EverSteam

I have to debate with myself about commenting now, because I'm really out of words. I love your story. So much. The world needs more BH Love. Edited October 28, 2012 by MilaniGrey

This is three passages in one.

 

A day or two or three later....

 

 

When we arrive, there are dead droids everywhere. Destroyed.

 

We reach the ship. An ugly alien is beating a girl. She has ugly bruises. Kind of make her resemble him. He is a Houk. A large mass of muscle covered in ugly frog. Repulsive things. But I make a note of staying out of reach. I don't want to be in reach when his temper blows even more. Not sure how much damage he could do to me with those fists. And I don't want to. Think metal bones can take only so much.

 

I gather from the conversation she's Zale's woman. Rage courses through me. She is defenceless. He makes threats to do more than beat her. I decide I will kill him. I hate little more than a man who treats a woman like an object to beaten, used and abused.

 

In the months before the Great Hunt, when I was taking down Republic stations and doing mediocre bounties, I would help where I could. I had more blasters than I needed. Stolen from the organisation when I left. Even more in the ship I temporarily had. I would give them to women who needed them. It wasn't much. One gun. But I know how much of a difference it can make. I suppose even then, I was not that heartless. Angry. Vengeful. Alone. Maybe not so apathetic. But small good acts do not atone for a life time of bad ones.

 

And even then. They accorded to my own agenda. My own revenge. My hatred. Suppose it wasn't altruistic. But I don't care. I just want men like that to die.

 

She spills what she knows about Zale's location. I knew she would. She was angry with Zale. An angry woman is capable of anything. I tell her she can go when I have enough to track him down with. The ugly creep disagrees. He wants her. I refuse.

 

'Touch her and your dead.'

 

'I said she ain't going anywhere.' Houk pulls his blaster. I pull mine.

 

'You wouldn't stand a chance.' I stare him in the eye. I am full of hatred and loathing. He lowers his gun. I win. What a coward. I think about shooting him anyway. The girl runs. Torian smirks at the revolting frog.

 

And the Houk walks out. Quickly. I think about shooting his back but take in the distance, clabber of my gun, his thick skin and armour and decide against it. Also a little low. And I don't think Torian would approve, no matter how much of a Hutt's *** he is.

 

So we leave.

 

'He'll be trouble, Cyare.'

 

'Good. I want to shoot that ****er in the face.'

 

Torian smiles. 'Me cooking you dinner tonight be just as enjoyable?'

 

Takes a while to shift my scowl to a smile. I think about it. 'Not sure. I do want to shoot him a lot.' Torian nods. I smile wider. 'Just have to cook me dinner and see.'

 

He smiles down at me. 'Race back?' I like how much he likes competitions. Guess you aren't much of a Mandalorian if you don't. I like how he searches for constant challenges. Keeps things interesting.

 

I smirk at him and punch his shoulder. 'Not much of a race when you're so far behind.'

 

He stops and steps in front of me. I walk into him and frown up at him. He smiles down at me. 'Just want to make sure I can watch your six.'

 

'Weren't so busy watching it you might win for a change.' He smiles at the challenge. He leans in for a moment but grins and runs for his speeder.

 

I stand shocked and annoyed for a moment. I run after him. 'That's not a very honourable move, Mandalorian! But I'll beat you anyway.'

 

He grins at me as he passes, and a swear under my breath. I refuse to lose.

 

 

That day or the next one...

 

 

We face Ruger.

 

'There's two ways you can leave, hunter. Cuffs on or feet first.'

 

I laugh. 'I won't die this day. And never by your hand.'

 

The fight was quick and easy. Far too easy. People are so often confident with no foundations. They are untrained kath hounds. I will break them. Or kill them.

 

I kill him in front of the fat kid on the holo. I'd like to see Fattie try and get the revenge he declares. Vendettas are worthy causes. I leer. The Republic will crumble at my feet. I will tear away all illusions of law and order. Worthless ideals.

 

An eye for an eye.

 

And in no specific point in time...

 

We have an unspoken routine. It was in vague formation on the second part of Hoth. Came full swing here on Belsavis. Some complained at first. Some actually means Mako. But then I explained that if they didn't like it they can leave now or if anyone ever complains again, I would shoot them on the spot. Gault made a joking complaint. So I shot his left hand. No one made any more complaints after that.

 

Blizz, Gault, Torian and I leave at seven Belsavis time. I take Gault with me to trade with vendors, get new items, and deal with small time missions. Then he returns to the ship eventually and searches the holonet for chances to scam some people. Don't know what else he does. Don't care very much.

 

I leave Blizz to search for new parts to upgrade the ship. Also to overhear conversations. No one ever notices or cares for him. He's gotten us some handy info. Sometimes, I'll have him in the field for easier jobs. Not very often though. Little guys quick with a blaster but not good enough for anything tough. Let him do whatever he wants. Like him too much to stop him and he's good. Think I'd let him get away with almost anything.

 

Mako stays on the ship. Her job is to handle expenses, search for nearby bounties and keep an eye on the Jedi Master and the Chancellor. She briefs me when I return. Sometimes, I let her come world side to help Blizz or take a break. Or I send her off to do some underworld trading or treasure hunting. Anything that involves being far away from me. Notice she's been a little different recently almost seems to be avoiding me. Not sure though since I make a point of avoiding her. But I'm pretty sure something has happened. If I'm taken by a bout of caring later, I might ask. Probably won't.

 

Torian comes with me for the big missions. And for dealing with the Sith Lords. Every third day, he will have the morning off. Know he can't get by like I can. Not that he would complain or mention it. Know he has been getting tired. He's driving himself hard; a man in a desert determined to find water despite slowly dying from dehydration. Just want to know what the water he's looking for is.

 

Late nights, early mornings. I don't mind. Like to avoid the sleep. Don't need sleep like normal people. Don't want to test those limits though. Scared I'll find I need as much sleep as a droid. Haven't finished reading my files. Locked them away like a dangerous criminal. Hiding them in the corner of my room, chained and in the dark, as if they might otherwise escape and hurt me.

 

Hate those mornings when Torian isn't there though. Shuttle ride isn't the same without him. Nothing is. Not selfish enough as to endanger him and the jobs because I don't want to apart from him for a few hours. Too smart for that.

 

So large bounties and chasing Zale stays my second favourite time of the day. Torian is getting better. His kills are coming closer to mine. Close. But never winning. He's not that good yet. Learning disturbingly quickly though.

We return early in the night. About half way through dusk. When we do, I teach new forms, manoeuvres. This is my third favourite part of the day.

 

Techstaffs have their weak points. And strengths. I teach him about Jedi form. How to fight them. The General had friends among Jedi. He was a former Jedi. He rejected the order soon after knighthood. Since he left before becoming a Master, he knew few secrets. When he talked to me about it, I could sense his regret. He went into military. Easy to climb the ladder then. Became General in less than ten years.

 

I instruct Torian on the force moves. When they will use them. This can only be theory. I had no affinity to the force. Sometimes, as half joke, I will quickly pick up a crate and throw it at him. The first time, he didn't move away quick enough. Didn't break any bones though. Now, he dodges them with ease.

 

Other nights, I will teach him about the Sith. Their history. Code. Academy. Forms. Weaknesses. Strengths. He will need this in the coming months. All of it. I need him ready for what is to come. For when we have no side. It will be soon. He is a fast learner. Even faster than me. Hopefully, fast enough. I don't go easy on him. I go tough. Because I need to. They won't. His life is worth more than a few bruises from me. I know he understands. Think it makes him respect me more. And we go too hard for any tension.

 

Need him to have his head in the game in training so it can be out there. Keep him too busy to think of anything but practice. Can tell when his minds wanders and I make him pay for it. Must admit, I do distract him deliberately sometimes. Just too fun to resist. He's gotten used to that too. Almost landed a hit on me when I was too busy trying to distract him.

 

When in practice, I don't fight in a tank top and shorts like I used to. Hiding it now won't erase his memories. But I've got something else to hide now. So I wear a long shirt with cut sleeves at the elbows that I tuck into torn pants. Make him wear his armour though. No point learning with the flexibility of only wearing pants when in battle he will be in heavy armour.

 

He's also starting to show an ability for multitasking. Flirt with his mouth but keep everything else in the game. Sometimes, no matter what I do, he is silent until I force him to grunt in pain. At those times, his face is vicious and serious. The expression of a man with a goal; something he would give everything to achieve. I know the fighting of a desperate and determined man when I see it. I want to know what it is he is fighting for in these moments and why he pushes himself so hard.

 

Soon as we take the only break I allow, the tension does come back, stronger every time. Tried to get away from it by creating distance between us. Only made it worse. So I went back to being closer. Still got worse. Not sure what to do with this. Hoping it's not only me who feels it. Some breaks, he will stare fixatedly at our discarded weapons and be impatient to fight again. He's driving himself to exhaustion for something and you're only helping. Does your time with him really mean so much to you?

 

The practical happens before dinner. The theory during. But sometimes, rarely, I will allow a night off the lessons. And we sit in silence. Stealing glances. Lost in private reveries. Speaking things in our minds we cannot yet bring ourselves to say. Or he will show how to craft different items. I like these times, but what comes after is always better.

 

After dinner, we drink. We speak Mandalorian to each other. There are words the Republic did not find necessary to teach me. I do have a small amount more to learn. He tells me their way of life beyond common knowledge and my facts. They have secrets. As do the Sith and Jedi. And Torian tells me them in the late hours. This is my favourite part of the day.

 

When we say goodnight, I return to my room. This can vary from midnight to three in the morning. Sometimes, after we have drifted in to silence, we will remain sitting for hours before either leaves. On those nights, Torian doesn't sit up. But he stills lies awake for a long time.

 

I study myself in the mirror. I am changing. The double dose I have been taking for the pain is enough. But it has come at a bizarre cost.

 

Skin has begun to grow over my plates. Slowly it happened. I was not sure if what I was seeing was real for a moment. But now there is no doubt. The plates are becoming part of me. Where they were once a metal skin, they are now something more. There is no skin underneath them. They act as one. For protection. To keep whatever is in me safe. And inside.

 

They are still visible; dark shining patches under translucent skin. The scar on my face is only white and smooth. Hardly visible. It pleases me. Seems scars are mementos you never loose. A constant reminder that the past is never far. But I like the improvement in my looks. Makes me feel a little less broken. And a little more beautiful.

 

Skin hasn't started to smother the implants on my face. I am thankful for that, too. But it is a worry. I am not sure still, what organs I have. But I am too aware of what is missing. And it's not only my heart.

 

My muscles are also improving. I am becoming stronger. Fitter. Faster. I analyse the information I stole from the labs before erasing it. Deleting the information and then burning the computers to the ground. I wanted nothing of this to be left except what I took. They had many files on me. I have not opened the ones involving my procedures. What parts of me are still there, under my skin. It is easier not to know. One day, before this ends, I will read it. Know my limits. But until then, I would rather never know.

 

In the files was the recipe for the serum. It's many components. I only have enough for a year of single doses; six months for double. I have already begun tracking down the rare materials needed. They are disgusting. But fascinating. The serum remains unaffected by my immune system. According the notes, it may realise the intrusion once the body sees itself as healed. Believes it has healed. The balance tipped from dying to alive. The pain is starting to lesson and that is terrifying. But if I stop, I will begin to decay. The plates ripping from my old skin and tearing out of my new. And whatever is inside... I am becoming more than healthy. I am tempting fate.

 

But I don't want to die. When I have only begun living.

 

I go to bed without the second dose. I will continue to, in however many nights there are to come. My body aches. But it is ok.

I hope it is ok.

 

 

 

 

 

----

 

I hope that answered any questions.

Any more feel free to ask anything, comment or what not.

Edited October 29, 2012 by EverSteam
Needed to add happy moment

In another break from actual storyline, set sometime after the last post...

 

 

I run down from the refresher.

 

I drip water and slide down the banister. Blaster in one hand, the other holding up my towel. I heard a shot. Eight shots. When I reach the bottom of the steps, I am quick to take in the lack of dead bodies or chaos. I shake my head and look at the only person in the room.

 

Torian is working on a blaster. His back to me. An amused Gault is watching from the door of his room. He disappears when I shoot my blaster next to his head. Part of me was hoping I'd miss and hit him. Need to talk to him soon. A stronger tension has entered between him and Torian. It grates on my nerves. And I want to know what it's about. Refuse to have this crew become any more dysfunctional. Don't care if they hate each other, just care if they start effecting productivity and by extension, if they start killing each other. And by the feeling of the silence when they are around each other, I think it won't be long before that happens.

 

Torian turns around. He tries to keep his eyes up. He hides surprise well. Doesn't hide pleasure nearly as well, though. He is already in armour. Ready for today's mission. I think he sleeps in his armour. I have never seen him shower either. Somehow, though, he is always clean. Maybe I don't know everything that goes on in this ship.

He settles for staring over my head. 'Been working on a new shot. That's all.'

 

I sigh. I leave a target in the cargo hold hanging over the carbonated man's head. It's changed after each person. I make the crew shoot until they get five bulls eyes in a row. It takes them hours. But they are getting better. Normally this happens at night, or when they each return to the ship before me. Never so early in the morning.

 

I look to the target. There's one wide and seven pretty much dead centre. I am impressed. I know Torian has not specialised with a blaster rifle. But I thought he should learn. You never know. And it suits him. I like a guy with a big gun.

 

'Something I picked up from watching you. Want to check it out?' I grin. I am naked except for a towel and he wants to show me his new tricks? I laugh a little.

 

He tries to stay serious. But I know him too well. There's lust in his eyes. Curiosity. Pride. Eagerness. I shrug a little. I walk a little closer to him. His rifle and a few centimetres are all that's separating us. If you minus the towel and armour.

 

I'm not short, but I need to lift my head to look in his eyes. 'I'm already out of the shower. I'm having trouble thinking of anything better than watching you shoot.'

 

He grins quickly. He moves one hand to my back while holding the blaster at his side in the other. He pulls me closer. But something changes in his eyes and he takes a step back, letting me go.

 

'Good. Showing off for you was pretty much the point.' He returns to fiddling with gun a little. He is sweet. It's a little endearing. Never knew I would like sweet so much. I'm not sure how ok I am with us being like this at the moment. I just don't want to lose him. If I do, I will be alone in a galaxy with nothing else worth giving.

 

'Let's get to work. The sooner we're moving, the sooner you can see me in action, ner alor.' My Commander.

 

I look hard and serious into his eyes for a second and notice the fatigue there. They are slightly less bright and I know he never slept last night. I glance at the rest of the cargo hold and can tell he was up all night training. Not sure what to do about this yet. For now, until it effects him in battle, I will stay quiet.

 

So I laugh. I step forward and swiftly kiss his cheek. 'You're sweet, Torian.'

 

I turn up the stairs before he can reply. I look over the balustrade. He's smiling into the distance. It's far away and full of lust and pleasure. I throw the towel down onto his head. 'Better keep your head in the game out there. Won't be a towel that's getting thrown at you.' Sometimes, we seem like shy adolescents. And sometimes, I don't mind.

 

But I stagger a little once out of sight. I walk quickly and uneasily to the cupboard and quickly open the lock with the key in my little finger. I take out a vile and shakily measure a dose. I inject it and wait for it to take effect. It was close. Too close. He cannot see this. I pull on my armour quickly, avoiding seeing myself in the large mirror. Hope he didn't notice the change. Don't know how he couldn't. Guess it couldn't be helped.

 

We leave in ten minutes. Torian is still smiling under a serious appearance. And I am still laughing, as if there is nothing terribly wrong with either of us.

 

 

 

 

-----

 

Inconsequential author thoughts:

 

 

 

I defer to my earlier comment about running out of words and Torian induced /swooning

Torian's great at having no subtext. He's blunt without being crude. I love how your bh isn't quite sure how to handle that kind of steady, serious pursuit from a good guy. (And the piece with him offerring to teach her Mando'a was great! )

I defer to my earlier comment about running out of words and Torian induced /swooning

Mission accomplished then

Torian's great at having no subtext. He's blunt without being crude. I love how your bh isn't quite sure how to handle that kind of steady, serious pursuit from a good guy.

 

That's exactly him! I love his bluntness.

Yeah, I figure she wouldn't know exactly how to feel or act because her only prior experience was not pleasant, and then the General and then the odd person or target (who were all not pleasant).

Damn Torian being so good.

 

(And the piece with him offerring to teach her Mando'a was great! )

 

I'm glad you liked it >.< It made me happy to write.

 

*sigh* Guess I should start having dark things happening again...

Though I'm thinking to leave Belsavis as a happy-ish time so it has more contrast to later.

Oh well, will update soon.

Also updated Yours to Hold yesterday in case anyone reading this missed that.

Edited the end of meeting Skadge in post 116.

Please read. It's only a small change but yeah.

Edited October 30, 2012 by EverSteam

Three or four passages in one.

Had something I wrote after the last one but not sure if it's right or not so I might post it later if I decide... anyway, on with the show.

 

A few days later...

 

When we find Zale, he runs away. Coward. Typical of Republic scum.

 

We fight through his robots and stay close on his trail. Easy. I claim twenty of the droids. Torian claims eighteen. There were only thirty droids. We agree whoever takes down Zale wins the day. I will not lose.

 

When we catch up to him, there is a force field and of course Zale is on the other side. Never catch a break. I assume he prepared for this eventuality and the room is filled with enough provisions for a month. I might be able to last two weeks tops.

 

I quickly take Zale in and he does the same to me. He recognises me. 'I kinda hoped that when I met you, I'd be captaining your one way trip to lock up.'

 

I raise an eyebrow and sneer at what I think would have once been a handsome face. 'Wow. Republic secrets really aren't very secret anymore if they let womp rats like you know them. But you know, things rarely go the way we want them to.' I shoot the force field to prove my point. It sizzles and zaps but doesn't even flicker. Take a lot more than can be reasonably assembled to break through.

 

'That's deep. You moonlight as a Jedi Master when you're not blowing up orphanages?'

 

I smirk. A retort on my lips. But we hear running. And explosion. Crashes. 'Someone's coming,' Torian quietly warns. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Such a Mako thing to point out.

 

The ugly freak rocks up. He makes a scene, pointlessly hammering the force field. Houk's may be the strongest humanoid species, but they aren't strong enough to beat down a force field. How embarrassing. Zale assumes he's with us. I make my distance. 'He's no friend of mine.'

 

The Houk gives me a means of disabling the field. I will still kill him. But for now, I run down to the lower level to cut the power.

 

When I return, Zale has escaped. The frog is pathetic; full of uncontrollable, stupid anger. It was so easy. He was there. And then the oaf goes and loses him. Even Mako could have made sure he wouldn't escape. When this is over, I will kill him. When he is no longer useful. Until then, I will follow his plan. Taking the smashed droid to the droid factory is our only chance now.

 

-----

 

That night... (kind of)

 

Blizz gives me a present. It's a head band.

 

I smile. It makes me truly happy. Apart from Torian, pay days, killing the General, blowing up the Organization on Tyhton and winning the Great Hunt, nothing else has made me happy in years. Blizz really is cute. And sweet. I like the Jawa. I want him to stay with us, even if we find his friends. And even if he gets his materials back. I want him to return to me. Guess he's kind of like a pet. Never had a pet.

 

I wear the head band every day. It gives me a curious strength. I keep Blizz on some things. Take him out on less dangerous missions or come along with Torian and I. I let him join in my discussions with my employers. He has a keen eye for money. Every few days, I'll bring him back weapons, trophies, tech, anything and everything. He likes presents. I don't think he really cares what they are.

 

Sometimes, he will stay up with Torian and I. He doesn't always know what we say, but he likes to listen. Or watch us spar. I think he likes the company. Other times, he is with Mako. Or fixing the ship alone. I think he is happy with us on this strange ship.

 

When the rest of us sleep and cry out in our dreams, he is satisfied and content.

 

I envy him a little.

 

-----

 

A day or so later...

 

We have managed to finally track down where Zale should be.

 

Skadge had practically destroyed everything that once made up a droid. Hours ticked by and the 'volunteer' workers in the factory we politely entered and massacred everyone in hadn't found anything. Then we succeed. He's headed for the tomb. I sigh. Thought this would end there. Least I was going that way for the Dread Masters already. Least it means nights alone with Torian.

 

But Skadge insists on coming. I think about killing him now. But he may still provide useful. And he promised a reward. A cache he knows the location of. Can't tell me something when he has no head. And I hate losing potential assets.

 

After I grudgingly agree, Skadge continues. 'Your friend takes a hike too - 'ncase your thinkin' of pullin' somethin'.'

I scowl. I don't like it. I can take him if he tries anything. But I want Torian with me. I make my decision. I will do this the frogs way for now.

 

Torian steps up close behind me. 'Kaysh mirsh solus'. His brain cells are lonely. 'But don't trust him, ner darasuum verd.' My eternal warrior. There is concern in his face. Irritation. Something tugs in my chest. I want to kiss him.

 

'I don't, mirdala Torian. Keep your comm open.' I smile slightly. He doesn't return it. 'I'm not worried. Wouldn't of lasted this long if I couldn't handle the stray thug like him. Stronger than that, remember?'

 

Torian stares Skadge down. He is angry at being forced to be left behind. I like him angry. 'Cross her and you'll regret it, besom di'kut.' Never heard Torian use those words before. Not exactly polite. My chest swells. Never had someone protective of me before. I kind of like it. It's unnecessary. But it makes me feel elated in a strange way.

 

Torian gives me a swift concerned look, nods and leaves; back straight, fists clench and without a second glance. Feel déjà vu as he walks away.

 

I look at my new companion. My heart sinks and I sigh. I want to follow Torian. I want him to stay. Torian was easier on the eyes than this one. And Torian smelt better than this one, too. I sigh again. We start to move out.

 

-----

 

Late afternoon that day...

 

Skadge and I camp out on the outskirts near the tomb. It's too late to go back, even with the teleporters. I call Torian.

 

'Don't worry. I've always got one eye open. He won't try anything.'

 

Torian's tiny blue figure shifts as if uncomfortable. 'Still. Wish I was there. Watch yourself.'

 

'You too.' We both pause and stare at the others small blue figure. Unspoken things are shouted in the silence and we both pretend the other hasn't felt it. 'I'll call you when we're done. Should be back in six nights. Cook me dinner, ok?'

 

'Ok.' He nods. No smile. I sigh a little. 'See you then, Champion.'

 

I nod. 'And Torian. Just because I'm not there doesn't mean you all get the days off. I expect proof of practice from all of you and reports on the Chancellor, supplies and Tormen's movements from Mako when I return. As well as the hyper drive functional with the new upgrades Blizz bought. And orders for Gault to stay on planet with no access to our funds. He will complain but make him obey them. I'm counting on you, Torian.'

 

He nods and moves to attention. Almost expected a salute. 'K'oyacyi!'

 

He shuts off. The light from the comm disappears. It is getting dark.

 

I return to our camp and sit on my bed roll. Skadge has already eaten and is sleeping. Loud, croaking snores escape his wide grotesque mouth. I pick up a hefty rock off the ground and throw it at him. Was aiming for his mouth but this twilight is *********** with my vision. Reason I don't fight at dusk often. It hits something similar to a nose. He sits up straight away and roars.

 

'Shut the **** up, ugly. Your snoring was louder than a rift lurker stampede. Keep it up and you'll cause one.' He begins to protest. I pull out my gun. He laughs me away as a weak thing and makes a comment about needing the blonde runt to fight my battles. I contemplate shooting his foot or hand for the insult to Torian and think about shooting his head for his insult to me. But both plans would impair his fighting in tomorrows battle. It's already crude and thoughtless enough.

 

So I settle for throwing a larger rock as hard as I can. His protests stop. They become taken over by a disgusting gurgling as he coils in pain. Don't think he'll be calling me weak any time soon. Not as long as the broken bones and bruises remain. Eventually, he lies back down and is snoring in three minutes.

 

I dig through my pack next to me and eat something that is supposed to be a nutrition bar. I try not to think why it's blue with pink flecks in it. I scowl at Skadge as the croaks keep coming from his large, gaping mouth before looking up at the starless sky. I throw the bar away and lie down. It is going to be a long night. The sun hasn't even finished setting yet.

 

I lie awake for a long time.

'K'oyacyi!' Why was that all you had to say? When I need to hear so much more...

 

 

 

 

 

-----

 

Note:

 

 

Ah, Skadge, how I hate you so. I like how she keeps repeating that she will kill him later. I hope so!!

'Kaysh mirsh solus'. His brain cells are lonely.

The one day I was writing a post for the short fic thread and went to find some Mando'a. Ran across this gem. I've decided to commit it to memory so I have something to mutter under my breath.

Ah, Skadge, how I hate you so. I like how she keeps repeating that she will kill him later. I hope so!!

The one day I was writing a post for the short fic thread and went to find some Mando'a. Ran across this gem. I've decided to commit it to memory so I have something to mutter under my breath.

 

Yeah, since I haven't finished Belsavis 100% I thought I might regret having her kill him on first encounter. So he's going to stay alive for now...

 

I'm glad you enjoyed that

Few hours later...

 

Something wakes me.

 

I pull out my blaster. I am already on my feet and head the ferns that rustled. Skadge is asleep, momentarily quiet. Doubt it will last. I slink to a near tree and I close my eye. I look at the bushes. The thing is humanoid. I listen to their movements. They're familiar. I put my gun away.

 

I walk into the bushes. 'Torian! What are you doing here? Gar di'kutla?' You foolish? I walk to him stare into his eyes. Belsavis is no place to travel at night. But I'm not that angry. I'm proud he made it this far alive. I glance down at him but can't see past his chest plate. But he seems unharmed. And that makes me a little prouder. He'll be as good as you in only a few weeks now.

 

'Was going stir crazy.' His hand slashes through the small space between us. His eyes are intense. Blue and frustrated. We stare at each other for a few tense moments. He relaxes and shrugs. 'Thought you might need this.'

 

He opens his hand in the small space between us. My serum. He brought 4 viles. Very smart. I take the viles and put them in my pocket. I'll save one for the morning. I look to the sky. A few hours till dawn. I sigh. Torian must have left after my call. Travelled all night.

 

He stares at me earnestly and I know that my serum isn't why he came. 'Ret'lini'. Just in case.

 

'Vor entye, Torian.' I accept a debt, Torian. 'For a change.' I smile teasingly a little. I try to look clearly at his face. I can't see much in normal vision. He isn't looking at me. Part of me hates it when he isn't looking at me. But another is happy. It's often because he can't hide things under his serious, solemn expression. And he's embarrassed. But I don't let these thoughts become conscious. They lead me to hope too much.

 

'Have you eaten?' He glances at me. I know what will follow and I know it will be a lie.

 

'I'm good.'

 

Always wanting to be the strong Mandalorian. But I don't comment or push. Not my place. And I now he wouldn't like it. So I change the topic. 'Facing the Dread Masters in a few hours. Once the sun is up.' He tenses. All his concern and worry is sweet. It's hidden under a thin serious expression. I smile a little. Naturally, I had planned for Torian to be with me when I faced them.

 

'Come with us. Just to the Dread Masters.' Try not sound pleading. I take a step back and avert my eyes. 'I need you with me, Torian.' It comes out stiff and forced. Took a lot of effort to actually say it. To admit in words that I may rely on someone else. That maybe I can't always stand alone anymore.

 

Torian drags his eyes from the distance and looks into mine. He smiles gently and removes the space between us again. When he's this close, I can't breathe.

 

'Then I'll be with you, Champion.'

 

He bends down.

 

Looking into his eyes as he leant down to kiss me is the last thing I remember seeing before what I see now. I quickly gather that I had blacked out like I used to. Because Torian is on the ground under with my foot to his neck. My gun is out again and I am aiming for his head. Finger ready on the trigger. He holds his hands up a little. I lower my arm slowly and drop my gun, taking a step back.

 

Torian is staring at me as he slowly stands and I can't stand to meet the mixture of hurt, confusion, sadness and rejection. But I do. All I can do is stare back. And see how I must look through his eyes. And I hate myself all over again. What could I ever say in defence to that? How many times will it be before sorry isn't enough to make up for it?

 

'Torian, I didn-'

 

'It's ok, Cyare.' And then I am in his arms. He rests his cheek on the top of my head. I want to cry. I wish I could. I feel this is how it should be; him comforting me as I sob into his armour. Or shirt. I sigh deeply. But that isn't us. We aren't what should be. We are different. But just for now, I will give myself this moment. I will be weak in his strong arms and allow myself a small happiness.

 

I smile as his fingers absently play in my hair. I don't want tomorrow to come but it's that little bit more ok if he's here with me. 'Hukaat'kama. Gedet'ye,' I whisper quietly. Scared if I make too much noise, he'll realise what's happening and back away in disgust.

 

'Ratiin. You know that.' He holds me a little tighter and kisses the top of my ear. I want to lift my arms and wrap them around him as best I can. But they won't follow my orders and stay loose and useless at my sides.

 

I wish I could fight the break of dawn. I don't know when it started but this is the first time I'm living for someone. And I don't want it to end.

 

'Watch my back. Please.'