[iC]

Evenin' peeps. Elgyn Vriess here, President, CFO, and CEO of Elgyn Vriess Courier Company, your leading Galactic Enterprise in delivering big packages in small holes. I don't do big holonet advertisements much, because I find it cost prohibitive as it takes cash from my slush funds -- and as we all know, slush funds are funds for getting slushed, and I make a habit of that at least three times a week -- but I feel there's a strict necessity to really put my name out there over the 'net -- thanks in part to my gal-pal Aerean inserting a nifty little spike at the core holonet processors in Nar Shaddaa's NetSec, allowing my crew here on the good ship Amelia the finest access to whatever we need; blahblahblah.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, the big deal is that we here at Eee-vee-cee-cee -- that is, my droids T1-V0 and 5H-0T, recon expert Blix Artak, the sand Demo-midgit Tinker, Mandalorian Gulen Epsis, big-guy Bastion, and the aforementioned slicer Aerean -- are fully back in business -- that is, I'm dirt poor again -- to offer you the finest in escort, protection and newly added medical packages for your perusal. I can say that because I recently passed my medical exam after the fifteenth attempt, with a new personal record in lowest mutilations incurred by unwilling victims. You heard it here first, folks -- Elgyn Vriess has learned what triage actually means, and knows it's not the first thing you do for nasal sanguination; also he learned the word sanguination. It means "bleeding," by the way. That's me puttin' out knowledge for you. That one's for free. [insert /doubleguns]

So what does that mean? That's what you're thinkin' -- I ain't gotta be a dirty robe-wearer to know that; 'What can EVCC do for me?' Well, that all depends on what you need. There's a lot of people needin' help out there and they ain't got the personnel to do it. But EVCC offers premium escort and protection services for the lonely freelancer -- or even Sith -- bein' sent to places like Athiss, Cademimu, or interdicting vessels. If you can't get a team together, that's where EVCC can help you -- for a nominal fee. Consequently, we also offer planetary-based services for elite missions that unexperienced personnel may need extra assistance where none appropriate can be found -- that's right, we do inappropriate assistance through extreme ordnance and firepower -- for a nominal fee. Spacers gotta eat folks. For an added extranominal fee, you can even purchase medical insurance; that means I take care of you in addition to taking care of whoever you need taken care of, but in different methods -- I do pretty good in not shooting my customers. Is extranominal a word?

Now before you ask me, 'Why would I pay for that?' I'm gonna be upfront and call you a self-entitled douche. You will want to pay for these premium services -- I do offer group discounts -- because you know one thing worse than not getting something done? Taking an hour waiting for people that may never show up to get something done. In hiring EVCC, you ensure that: One, your mission is finished quickly, professionally -- though not particularly elegantly -- and anything that is found is technically your property; and two, you get to move on with your life to something else. I think that's worth a few thousand credits. Time is a precious commodity, and we can't all live three hundred standard galactic years like some Jedi.

You know my inbox. So be sure to send me somethin' to schedule an appointment for a free consultation and price negotiation. I don't turn down a lot of work, unless my boss is totally breaking my balls to bust Jedi face. That's Elgyn, as in Elgyn Vriess, as in Elgyn Vriess Courier Company, the Galaxy's leading shipwright and best gosh darned pilot you ever saw -- and not too bad to look at either.

[OOC] Are you guys rep or imp?

EVCC deals primarily for the Sith Empire, mostly because the Empire has a whole buttload of money, and I can charge them exorbitant prices for minor things. Sith clearance for courier traffic is a lot harder to keep and maintain, mostly because they have a habit of killing traffickers, smugglers, and bounty hunters who double-deal with the Republic. It is only in the best business sense that I maintain relations with the Empire in order to not be on their cross-hairs, considering their proximity to Huttspace and prevalence in the Outer Rim (where the most lucrative contracts can be found).

Vrblthers Blthin' 'yer Vr's?

Space pirates in Taris causin' you troubles?

Those Ulgo *********** just not know when to quit?

Do some problems just need a jawa with a rocket launcher that you don't have?

Interdiction missions got you down?

EVCC has custom packages for you, made to fit your hole. No hole too big. No hole too tight. We'll get in there and wreck that stuff up.

Uh-huh, now what would ya' say would happen to any handsome individual who didn't pay ya'?

Cause' I got a handsome bud' named...Hold on gimme a second here...Sibec Corin? Yea, Sibec Corin, no relation, but he's a handsome devil, not that I float that way or anything, just a handsome bud' o' mine looking to get free services, ya' know, for free. So would ya' say he gets gutted or a pat on the back for being so damned cunning and handsome..? and a better pilot, but mainly handsome.

-The Handsome Captain Sibek Korin.

P.S: Could I borrow some creds? My drinking money's a bit low.

P.S.S: That's not the reason I wouldn't pay ya' or anything.

P.S.S.S: I mean my buddy, not I, I would never cheat ya' outta' creds.

[i am so bored right now.]

Uh-huh, now what would ya' say would happen to any handsome individual who didn't pay ya'?

Cause' I got a handsome bud' named...Hold on gimme a second here...Sibec Corin? Yea, Sibec Corin, no relation, but he's a handsome devil, not that I float that way or anything, just a handsome bud' o' mine looking to get free services, ya' know, for free. So would ya' say he gets gutted or a pat on the back for being so damned cunning and handsome..? and a better pilot, but mainly handsome.

-The Handsome Captain Sibek Korin.

P.S: Could I borrow some creds? My drinking money's a bit low.

P.S.S: That's not the reason I wouldn't pay ya' or anything.

P.S.S.S: I mean my buddy, not I, I would never cheat ya' outta' creds.

[i am so bored right now.]

I run a legitimate business here. I much prefer the cash upfront, but some people tend not to be very trusting, especially sith, since EVCC is a fully alien-owned and alien-operated. I understand this, and am fully prepared to do a 50/50 split. That means I can take half of what's owed before, and half upon completion.

The only thing I do for free is something that I'm going to personally profit from either way. That's how a freelancer like me rolls, son. I have a whole crew to feed, and Houk food ain't cheap. Neither is Houk liquor; or Houk anything, really. Why do I even keep that guy around? I guess because he's tougher'n me and keeps people off my back in Nar Shaddaa. It's good to have a guy like that around. So to recap: Houks are expensive, and I don't like getting ripped off.

This week, EVCC fulfilled eight contracts, most of which were interdiction-based against the Mandalorian Clan Varad. Those are cheap-os, but it was opening week -- even though I've been runnin' this business for a full goddamned year -- seriously, a full year to rake in the capital to advertise on the holonet. I'll try to see what I can do about expanding, but true escrow services can be kinda expensive. That'll take some time, as I hate dealin' with rotten smugglers. That's what I don't like about the republic. I mean, sure, you guys aren't complete xenophobes, but your Jedi are mostly hypocritical douchebags, and you employ smugglers to do your dirty work! Those guys are a threat to legitimate businessmen like me. What I'm trying to say here is: I'll work on it.

That's what I don't like about the republic. I mean, sure, you guys aren't complete xenophobes, but your Jedi are mostly hypocritical douchebags, and you employ smugglers to do your dirty work! Those guys are a threat to legitimate businessmen like me. What I'm trying to say here is: I'll work on it.

I have ta' disagree with ya' there, smugglers tend to be the most handsome people I ever see, handsome people never hurt them' businessmen like yourself. Smugglers just get the job more often due to their natural good looks.

I have ta' disagree with ya' there, smugglers tend to be the most handsome people I ever see, handsome people never hurt them' businessmen like yourself. Smugglers just get the job more often due to their natural good looks.

Won't be doin' much jobs with that unnatural plasma hole in 'yer face!

Won't be doin' much jobs with that unnatural plasma hole in 'yer face!

Excuse me? Ya' seem to forget who you're talking to, bud', I AM the handsome Captain Sibek Korin, destroying my face will get 99.98% of the galaxy on ya'. Now, I may not be "intelligent" but I'd say that's a damn good reason not to blow a hole in my face region. I also don't take threats towards my face lightly, you're walkin' down a road that'll kill ya' bud, turn around.

Excuse me? Ya' seem to forget who you're talking to, bud', I AM the handsome Captain Sibek Korin, destroying my face will get 99.98% of the galaxy on ya'. Now, I may not be "intelligent" but I'd say that's a damn good reason not to blow a hole in my face region. I also don't take threats towards my face lightly, you're walkin' down a road that'll kill ya' bud, turn around.

BAM! Blasted a hole in 'yer dirty face.

BAM! Blasted a hole in 'yer dirty face.

Oh yea, got your big *** Houk and a surprise attack in, shows you're just a boy peeing his pants at the sight of my handsome face. I was just bein' a polite man and lettin' ya go on your way aswell.

Oh yea, got your big *** Houk and a surprise attack in, shows you're just a boy peeing his pants at the sight of my handsome face. I was just bein' a polite man and lettin' ya go on your way aswell.

Someone's jeeeaaaaalllooooouuusssss.

Someone's jeeeaaaaalllooooouuusssss.

Jealous of being able to pull a *********** Houk out of my ***? Damn right I am!

"Ahem" *Shocks both of them* "There is a need for some security detail in here i would say" *goes stealth and creeps away*

I wanna' know how this ******e shocked me.

I wanna' know how this ******e shocked me.

Sith gonna Sith.

Sith gonna Sith.

Damn right!

BAM! Blasted a hole in 'yer dirty face.

BLAM DAM DOOEY! Blasted a hole right in your *** as ya' ran away!