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When I Wake

EverSteam's Avatar

10.26.2012 , 06:01 AM | #111
Quote: Originally Posted by MilaniGrey View Post
Adorable Torian/Hunter moments always make me happy.
They make me happy too

Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
Ahhh!! The cuteness

The Dinner: Part One

I am happy. For a few blissful hours, everything appears perfect. I forget all that is wrong. The galaxy and myself. All there is, is him. How long do you really think this can last?

We trade stories. I tell a few of my lighter fights. We laugh a lot. We are easy. We flow between speech, and laughter and silence with no unease. I like to make him grin. And tonight, he does that a lot. I can see my eager smiles and bliss in his expression. His voice. His eyes.

The food is good. I like it. I want seconds. And then thirds. Haven't eaten food with some form of taste in months. Torian is silently ecstatic. I like the subtle changes to his face. Disassembling them. Reading them. He is proud. And happy. We quickly run out of food. And then wine. So we take out some rum. He can certainly hold his liquor. I like that.

I don't know where Gault and Mako are. Or Blizz for that matter. I can't hear them in the ship. I didn't give them any errands. I have shut the droid down.

We are in a pause. I watch him indirectly. We were speculating as to the identity of the carbonite man that still hangs in our cargo hold. Maybe one day, someone will unfreeze him. Or come looking for him.

'Never thanked you, not making a big deal of me taking off.' I throw him a careless nod and smile. No point in making a big deal. It wasn't really. I wanted him to go. Because he wanted to. I missed him. But how I feel does not matter. I have no claim over him.

And he came back. That is enough. It's what matters.

'Good to see my brothers are still alive. Corridan owes me fifty credits.' He plays with his drink as he watches me.

'You should always collect on your debts.' I repeat an unofficial bounty hunter code.

'Nah. He's good for it.' He has confidence in his friends. It's a little sweet. Naive and stupid, but sweet.

'Well, I hated to see you go. Not gonna deny it. So he owes me a lot more.' I lean back in my throne of crates. 'I was lonely with you gone.' I avoid his eyes. Watch his strong hands fiddle with his half empty glass.

'Think I can spot him that one.' There's a smile on his face. I like the way they move his cheeks. His face is angular. Gorgeous. I look away again. I'm ashamed of my thoughts.

I don't know how to say what I want to say. How to say thank you. For the flower and more. How to tell him I was happy he came back. Our relationship is like a bubble. Exclusive and fragile. But beautiful in its own way. I'm scared that if I move too much, it will burst and break. 'Didn't think you'd come back, though. After being back with them. Thought you might realise what you're missing. Surprised you stayed so long with me after getting the call.'

He frowns and looks almost angry. He's so earnest. I don't always know what to make of it. ''Course I did. Thought you needed me, cyare.' His voice has more than a little hurt and angry. Didn't mean to offend his loyalty. I can't see another reason to be offended. And I needed him more then he could know. I shake my head. Don't want to think of those weeks tonight.

He continues.'Only made me realise what I'm missing here. Didn't need to leave to know, though.' His eyes stare into mine. And I can't look back for too long. I'm an open book. And I don't want him to read all of my pages. Not everything can change.

'Talking about the free alcohol, right?' I finish my drink and wink. He continues to frown. Don't know what to say. 'Didn't mean to offend. Was happy you came back.' More than happy. 'And for staying with me... you know,' I shrug a little and occupy myself by pouring out some more rum. 'Thank you.'

Torian covers his glass with his hand. I glance at him. He is smiling. 'Pleasure.' I can't look into his eyes any longer. I look back down to the glass. He's hand has moved. It sits open, palm up, on the table. There are calluses on his palm. His fingers look long and soft though. I pour more into his glass.

'And you know, while talking about 'thank you's...' I know now why I've never really said thank you before. It's so gosh darn hard. Suppose I also never had much to be thankful for. Maybe this is why it's so gosh darn uncomfortable for me. I'm putting my hand into a dark hole and hoping that nothing will tear it off. That it will find the switch to a light and somehow come out in one piece. 'Liked the flower.' That the best you could do? Did better in the taxi than that.

If I had been looking, I would have seen his teeth shine in a grin. I like it when they tear across his serious face. And I missed the strange blush that shines under his scars. But instead I find the bare crate between us fascinating in a way I never knew.

I can hear the smile in his voice. 'Almost better then the real thing?'

'A lot better.'


Please comment, as usual.
How long do you really think this can last?
I wonder...

iamthehoyden's Avatar

10.26.2012 , 09:03 AM | #112
Quote: Originally Posted by EverSteam View Post
How long do you really think this can last?
I wonder...
And that line is why I'm savoring the sweetness, because while I'm hoping for a happy to the ending, I have a feeling this slice of adorable is not going to last. Still too much unresolved.
Oh, quick question, and this may not be answerable at the moment, but does she have a limited supply of the serum or has she managed to find a supplier or manufacture it herself?
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

EverSteam's Avatar

10.26.2012 , 02:40 PM | #113
Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
Oh, quick question, and this may not be answerable at the moment, but does she have a limited supply of the serum or has she managed to find a supplier or manufacture it herself?
Limited supply. In between missions and hitting on Torian she's tracking down materials.
Already decided some things around that and written a piece on what they're actually all doing everyday. I just wanted to post the happy dinner first because it's happier
Part two will be up in a few hours. Just got to finish it

EverSteam's Avatar

10.27.2012 , 10:15 PM | #114
The Dinner: Part Two

'Been meaning to ask you something.'

Again. Always so many questions. I continue to smile. I like the way he thinks so much about his questions. Wonder how long he stays up and thinks about them. He leans back and crosses his arms. The muscles ripple under his shirt. No armour tonight. For a Mandalorian, it's close to being naked. And I find it very, very hard not to think about that.

'Did Mandalore tell you the Resol'nare when he adopted you into his clan?'

I already know what it is. I remember it from my lessons. But I want him to tell me. And I want to know where this is going. 'Depends. Is it important?' I don't want Torian to know I can speak Mando'a yet. A little secret surprise I have saved. Time might be here to use it.

'Resol'nare means 'Six Actions.' The core of Mandalorian life.' He looks at me intently. I like it when he takes on the role of a teacher. His confidence. His voice. His everything. You really are a love sick puppy sometimes, aren't you? God you make me sick. I shake my head to get rid of the voice. Tired of thinking so much. Just so very, very tired.

Torian continues, unaware of my thoughts. 'Taught to children in a rhyme: Ba'jur bal beskar'gam, Ara'nov, aliit, Mando'a bal Mand'alor— An vencuyan mhi. Translated it's something like...' He frowns. I like the way he has to think sometimes to speak basic. The way his sharp eyebrows join together as he tries to match words. And I find this amusing. Already know the translation. Was taught to me when I was learning Mando'a and Mandalorian culture.

'Education and armour,
Self-defense, our tribe,
Our language, our leader—
All help us survive.'

I lean forward a little and rest my elbows on the crate. 'And I'm a child, am I?' Torian grins and looks me over. He shakes his head. I like the way it makes his hair shift out of place. It looks soft. My fingers twitch a little. I want to touch it. That's a bizarre urge... I shake my head. Not myself tonight. Losing it a little.

He wisely doesn't comment and moves back to topic. 'Speaking the language is the big one. I could teach you, if you're up for it.' Trying to make me a good little Mandalorian. There's a challenge in his voice and eyes. It mingles with something teasing in the blue pool of his eyes.

I try not to smirk. Or laugh. I knew I had kept this secret for a reason. I despise myself a little, for grabbing such an excuse, any excuse, to spend hours alone with him. 'Private lessons from you? Sounds like fun. And how can I resist when you make it a challenge?' I look into his eyes. I let my lust show. I like the way he knows how to get me to say yes. Just make everything a challenge.

He grins quickly. 'You can't.' But then it disappears into a casual smile. 'Could learn all kinds of things.'

I smirk. There isn't much he could teach me. But I would like the experience of him trying. Wonder if he's been with a woman. I think so. He isn't one for false pride. And he's more than good looking enough to get any non-Mando women. Not sure about a Mando girl though. Don't think being gorgeous balances the scales. Arue'tal will always be heavier.

'All kinds of things? What would they include?' I lean in close. He wavers. I like making him conflicted. He likes taking it slowly. Not quite sure if this is anything beyond flirting. But at the same time, I know he's too earnest for anything less. Guess I just don't know how to trust. Can't believe in this yet. Can't believe he feels anything for me yet. So why are you still putting yourself out there?

'Just have to wait and see.' His lips are twitching in that irresistible way. Not sure I want to wait. Think I've been waiting too long. But you know you would wait forever.

'I look forward to it. Lessons could start with you telling me what 'cyare' means.' I try to play a little innocent, but it's basically all teasing. I know what it means. I just want to hear it.

He looks away again. The almost a blush is back. I think I like making him this embarrassed. Might be my new game. 'Means a few things. No one translation into basic.' He keeps looking away. I like the way the steps to the engine room have suddenly become fascinating to him.

'Well, what are they? Can't have you calling me something and not knowing what it is. Already never use my name.' I keep my eyes on his. It only makes him study the minuscule amounts of dirt on them harder. Funny to see our roles reversed.

'But what is your name? Your real name. Never said. Might call you it if you tell me.' He leans back a little and moves his eyes to look at me. He thinks he's changed the subject. It's amusing. He won't escape that easily. I like watching him squirm like this. 'Can't be 'Leer'.'

I shrug my shoulders and also lean back, taking a little sip of air from an empty glass. I turn it into a large sip and pretend to swallow. More than a little embarrassing. His lips twitch. I scowl. He smiles. 'It's a secret. You'll have to torture it out of me.' My body language and eyes scream lust.

He wavers. Leans a little forward, then back. He settles for filling my empty glass. I chuckle a little. 'So what's cyare mean?' I decide to save him this time. I pretend it doesn't hurt. Wonder how many times I'm going to put myself up for these small rejections.

He returns to watching the stairs. Then looks back at me with a large grin. 'It's a secret. You'll have to torture it out of me.' I flinch but twist it to a smirk. Never thought we'd be joking about something like that. Don't want to think of those dreams.

'Don't tempt me.' We watch each other. A stale mate. Each want the other to make a move but neither daring enough. I guess I'm still scared. And I don't want to destroy what we have. I'm still ugly. That hasn't really changed.

'Fine, you win. For a change.' I raise my hands in mock surrender. ''Leer' was my unofficial nickname in the Organisation. Don't need to say why. Decided to take it as my bounty hunter name so the Republic Organisation knew beyond any doubt who was slaughtering them.'

I shrug and continue. 'Name They gave me was 'Primacy'. But birth certificate said 'Lierah'.' I shrug. Irony of the name isn't lost on me. 'Never gonna find anyone who calls me that, though. And the certificate doesn't exist anymore.' I shrug again. Maybe if I keep repeating the motion, the memories of my name will be cast away. 'And it's not what I call myself.'

'What do you call yourself?' His voice in tentative. Gentle. I don't want his sympathy.

I grin. 'Not how this game works, remember?' I wink at him. Wish I'd stop the motion. Only makes me aware of my inadequacies. After all, when you only have one eye, isn't it just a blink? 'It's your turn.' I don't want him to know what I whisper to myself; the names that buzzes through my mind when I look in the mirror. I don't want his pity.

He smiles a little before looking back to the steps. His blush is back with vengeance.


If I had a heart, I know it would stop. Because what I do have does stop. It's long into the silence before I realise I haven't breathed in a while. Never thought I'd react like this. To when I hear it.

'Or 'beloved'. No exact translation. Though most think of it as sweetheart.' He says the words quicker than any he has ever said any. I grin stupidly. I am pathetic. To be reduced to such a drooling girl by a few words said by a mere kid. Won't be till later I realise a little irony in it. Nothing sweet about me. And I don't have a heart.

His eyes still don't leave the steps. 'Can I call you that, then?' He looks at me intently once he's said it. The blush is still their but I think he finds strength in his heart not being torn out by me or a gun being held to his head. I'm a little surprised by that too, now that I think about it.

I nod. 'I'd like that.'

We sit in a long, slightly uncomfortable silence. Neither sure what this is. What this makes us. I don't mind defying classification for a while. He opens and closes his mouth a lot. It's my turn to stare at the steps.

'Going to teach me more words like that, then?' I've gained composure and I'm teasing again. 'Think I'd like to know what else you can teach me.' I want to make him blush one more time before we say goodnight.

'Let's find some time for it then, later.'

'Later, then.' I stand up and leave. Half way up the steps I turn and meet his gaze. 'Ni vorer bah hibirar under gar, ner cyar'ika cabur.' His face is priceless. Pleasure. Shock. Surprise. Happiness. He shakes his head. Watching me go, with grin on his face. And a blush on his cheeks.

I will always savour that night and the feel of his eyes watching me walk away in the months to come.

'I accept to learn under you, my beloved protector.'


I don't know when a 'few hours' started to mean over a day but there you eventually go.
I like comments, as usual

MilaniGrey's Avatar

10.27.2012 , 11:39 PM | #115
I have to debate with myself about commenting now, because I'm really out of words. I love your story. So much. The world needs more BH Love.
The Islingr Legacy
Ebon Hawk Server
"How dreadfully spooky." -- Vesaniae's Darth Nox

EverSteam's Avatar

10.28.2012 , 06:37 PM | #116
This is three passages in one.

A day or two or three later....

When we arrive, there are dead droids everywhere. Destroyed.

We reach the ship. An ugly alien is beating a girl. She has ugly bruises. Kind of make her resemble him. He is a Houk. A large mass of muscle covered in ugly frog. Repulsive things. But I make a note of staying out of reach. I don't want to be in reach when his temper blows even more. Not sure how much damage he could do to me with those fists. And I don't want to. Think metal bones can take only so much.

I gather from the conversation she's Zale's woman. Rage courses through me. She is defenceless. He makes threats to do more than beat her. I decide I will kill him. I hate little more than a man who treats a woman like an object to beaten, used and abused.

In the months before the Great Hunt, when I was taking down Republic stations and doing mediocre bounties, I would help where I could. I had more blasters than I needed. Stolen from the organisation when I left. Even more in the ship I temporarily had. I would give them to women who needed them. It wasn't much. One gun. But I know how much of a difference it can make. I suppose even then, I was not that heartless. Angry. Vengeful. Alone. Maybe not so apathetic. But small good acts do not atone for a life time of bad ones.

And even then. They accorded to my own agenda. My own revenge. My hatred. Suppose it wasn't altruistic. But I don't care. I just want men like that to die.

She spills what she knows about Zale's location. I knew she would. She was angry with Zale. An angry woman is capable of anything. I tell her she can go when I have enough to track him down with. The ugly creep disagrees. He wants her. I refuse.

'Touch her and your dead.'

'I said she ain't going anywhere.' Houk pulls his blaster. I pull mine.

'You wouldn't stand a chance.' I stare him in the eye. I am full of hatred and loathing. He lowers his gun. I win. What a coward. I think about shooting him anyway. The girl runs. Torian smirks at the revolting frog.

And the Houk walks out. Quickly. I think about shooting his back but take in the distance, clabber of my gun, his thick skin and armour and decide against it. Also a little low. And I don't think Torian would approve, no matter how much of a Hutt's *** he is.

So we leave.

'He'll be trouble, Cyare.'

'Good. I want to shoot that ****er in the face.'

Torian smiles. 'Me cooking you dinner tonight be just as enjoyable?'

Takes a while to shift my scowl to a smile. I think about it. 'Not sure. I do want to shoot him a lot.' Torian nods. I smile wider. 'Just have to cook me dinner and see.'

He smiles down at me. 'Race back?' I like how much he likes competitions. Guess you aren't much of a Mandalorian if you don't. I like how he searches for constant challenges. Keeps things interesting.

I smirk at him and punch his shoulder. 'Not much of a race when you're so far behind.'

He stops and steps in front of me. I walk into him and frown up at him. He smiles down at me. 'Just want to make sure I can watch your six.'

'Weren't so busy watching it you might win for a change.' He smiles at the challenge. He leans in for a moment but grins and runs for his speeder.

I stand shocked and annoyed for a moment. I run after him. 'That's not a very honourable move, Mandalorian! But I'll beat you anyway.'

He grins at me as he passes, and a swear under my breath. I refuse to lose.

That day or the next one...

We face Ruger.

'There's two ways you can leave, hunter. Cuffs on or feet first.'

I laugh. 'I won't die this day. And never by your hand.'

The fight was quick and easy. Far too easy. People are so often confident with no foundations. They are untrained kath hounds. I will break them. Or kill them.

I kill him in front of the fat kid on the holo. I'd like to see Fattie try and get the revenge he declares. Vendettas are worthy causes. I leer. The Republic will crumble at my feet. I will tear away all illusions of law and order. Worthless ideals.

An eye for an eye.

And in no specific point in time...

We have an unspoken routine. It was in vague formation on the second part of Hoth. Came full swing here on Belsavis. Some complained at first. Some actually means Mako. But then I explained that if they didn't like it they can leave now or if anyone ever complains again, I would shoot them on the spot. Gault made a joking complaint. So I shot his left hand. No one made any more complaints after that.

Blizz, Gault, Torian and I leave at seven Belsavis time. I take Gault with me to trade with vendors, get new items, and deal with small time missions. Then he returns to the ship eventually and searches the holonet for chances to scam some people. Don't know what else he does. Don't care very much.

I leave Blizz to search for new parts to upgrade the ship. Also to overhear conversations. No one ever notices or cares for him. He's gotten us some handy info. Sometimes, I'll have him in the field for easier jobs. Not very often though. Little guys quick with a blaster but not good enough for anything tough. Let him do whatever he wants. Like him too much to stop him and he's good. Think I'd let him get away with almost anything.

Mako stays on the ship. Her job is to handle expenses, search for nearby bounties and keep an eye on the Jedi Master and the Chancellor. She briefs me when I return. Sometimes, I let her come world side to help Blizz or take a break. Or I send her off to do some underworld trading or treasure hunting. Anything that involves being far away from me. Notice she's been a little different recently almost seems to be avoiding me. Not sure though since I make a point of avoiding her. But I'm pretty sure something has happened. If I'm taken by a bout of caring later, I might ask. Probably won't.

Torian comes with me for the big missions. And for dealing with the Sith Lords. Every third day, he will have the morning off. Know he can't get by like I can. Not that he would complain or mention it. Know he has been getting tired. He's driving himself hard; a man in a desert determined to find water despite slowly dying from dehydration. Just want to know what the water he's looking for is.

Late nights, early mornings. I don't mind. Like to avoid the sleep. Don't need sleep like normal people. Don't want to test those limits though. Scared I'll find I need as much sleep as a droid. Haven't finished reading my files. Locked them away like a dangerous criminal. Hiding them in the corner of my room, chained and in the dark, as if they might otherwise escape and hurt me.

Hate those mornings when Torian isn't there though. Shuttle ride isn't the same without him. Nothing is. Not selfish enough as to endanger him and the jobs because I don't want to apart from him for a few hours. Too smart for that.

So large bounties and chasing Zale stays my second favourite time of the day. Torian is getting better. His kills are coming closer to mine. Close. But never winning. He's not that good yet. Learning disturbingly quickly though.
We return early in the night. About half way through dusk. When we do, I teach new forms, manoeuvres. This is my third favourite part of the day.

Techstaffs have their weak points. And strengths. I teach him about Jedi form. How to fight them. The General had friends among Jedi. He was a former Jedi. He rejected the order soon after knighthood. Since he left before becoming a Master, he knew few secrets. When he talked to me about it, I could sense his regret. He went into military. Easy to climb the ladder then. Became General in less than ten years.

I instruct Torian on the force moves. When they will use them. This can only be theory. I had no affinity to the force. Sometimes, as half joke, I will quickly pick up a crate and throw it at him. The first time, he didn't move away quick enough. Didn't break any bones though. Now, he dodges them with ease.

Other nights, I will teach him about the Sith. Their history. Code. Academy. Forms. Weaknesses. Strengths. He will need this in the coming months. All of it. I need him ready for what is to come. For when we have no side. It will be soon. He is a fast learner. Even faster than me. Hopefully, fast enough. I don't go easy on him. I go tough. Because I need to. They won't. His life is worth more than a few bruises from me. I know he understands. Think it makes him respect me more. And we go too hard for any tension.

Need him to have his head in the game in training so it can be out there. Keep him too busy to think of anything but practice. Can tell when his minds wanders and I make him pay for it. Must admit, I do distract him deliberately sometimes. Just too fun to resist. He's gotten used to that too. Almost landed a hit on me when I was too busy trying to distract him.

When in practice, I don't fight in a tank top and shorts like I used to. Hiding it now won't erase his memories. But I've got something else to hide now. So I wear a long shirt with cut sleeves at the elbows that I tuck into torn pants. Make him wear his armour though. No point learning with the flexibility of only wearing pants when in battle he will be in heavy armour.

He's also starting to show an ability for multitasking. Flirt with his mouth but keep everything else in the game. Sometimes, no matter what I do, he is silent until I force him to grunt in pain. At those times, his face is vicious and serious. The expression of a man with a goal; something he would give everything to achieve. I know the fighting of a desperate and determined man when I see it. I want to know what it is he is fighting for in these moments and why he pushes himself so hard.

Soon as we take the only break I allow, the tension does come back, stronger every time. Tried to get away from it by creating distance between us. Only made it worse. So I went back to being closer. Still got worse. Not sure what to do with this. Hoping it's not only me who feels it. Some breaks, he will stare fixatedly at our discarded weapons and be impatient to fight again. He's driving himself to exhaustion for something and you're only helping. Does your time with him really mean so much to you?

The practical happens before dinner. The theory during. But sometimes, rarely, I will allow a night off the lessons. And we sit in silence. Stealing glances. Lost in private reveries. Speaking things in our minds we cannot yet bring ourselves to say. Or he will show how to craft different items. I like these times, but what comes after is always better.

After dinner, we drink. We speak Mandalorian to each other. There are words the Republic did not find necessary to teach me. I do have a small amount more to learn. He tells me their way of life beyond common knowledge and my facts. They have secrets. As do the Sith and Jedi. And Torian tells me them in the late hours. This is my favourite part of the day.

When we say goodnight, I return to my room. This can vary from midnight to three in the morning. Sometimes, after we have drifted in to silence, we will remain sitting for hours before either leaves. On those nights, Torian doesn't sit up. But he stills lies awake for a long time.

I study myself in the mirror. I am changing. The double dose I have been taking for the pain is enough. But it has come at a bizarre cost.

Skin has begun to grow over my plates. Slowly it happened. I was not sure if what I was seeing was real for a moment. But now there is no doubt. The plates are becoming part of me. Where they were once a metal skin, they are now something more. There is no skin underneath them. They act as one. For protection. To keep whatever is in me safe. And inside.

They are still visible; dark shining patches under translucent skin. The scar on my face is only white and smooth. Hardly visible. It pleases me. Seems scars are mementos you never loose. A constant reminder that the past is never far. But I like the improvement in my looks. Makes me feel a little less broken. And a little more beautiful.

Skin hasn't started to smother the implants on my face. I am thankful for that, too. But it is a worry. I am not sure still, what organs I have. But I am too aware of what is missing. And it's not only my heart.

My muscles are also improving. I am becoming stronger. Fitter. Faster. I analyse the information I stole from the labs before erasing it. Deleting the information and then burning the computers to the ground. I wanted nothing of this to be left except what I took. They had many files on me. I have not opened the ones involving my procedures. What parts of me are still there, under my skin. It is easier not to know. One day, before this ends, I will read it. Know my limits. But until then, I would rather never know.

In the files was the recipe for the serum. It's many components. I only have enough for a year of single doses; six months for double. I have already begun tracking down the rare materials needed. They are disgusting. But fascinating. The serum remains unaffected by my immune system. According the notes, it may realise the intrusion once the body sees itself as healed. Believes it has healed. The balance tipped from dying to alive. The pain is starting to lesson and that is terrifying. But if I stop, I will begin to decay. The plates ripping from my old skin and tearing out of my new. And whatever is inside... I am becoming more than healthy. I am tempting fate.

But I don't want to die. When I have only begun living.

I go to bed without the second dose. I will continue to, in however many nights there are to come. My body aches. But it is ok.

I hope it is ok.


I hope that answered any questions.
Any more feel free to ask anything, comment or what not.

EverSteam's Avatar

10.28.2012 , 10:28 PM | #117
In another break from actual storyline, set sometime after the last post...

I run down from the refresher.

I drip water and slide down the banister. Blaster in one hand, the other holding up my towel. I heard a shot. Eight shots. When I reach the bottom of the steps, I am quick to take in the lack of dead bodies or chaos. I shake my head and look at the only person in the room.

Torian is working on a blaster. His back to me. An amused Gault is watching from the door of his room. He disappears when I shoot my blaster next to his head. Part of me was hoping I'd miss and hit him. Need to talk to him soon. A stronger tension has entered between him and Torian. It grates on my nerves. And I want to know what it's about. Refuse to have this crew become any more dysfunctional. Don't care if they hate each other, just care if they start effecting productivity and by extension, if they start killing each other. And by the feeling of the silence when they are around each other, I think it won't be long before that happens.

Torian turns around. He tries to keep his eyes up. He hides surprise well. Doesn't hide pleasure nearly as well, though. He is already in armour. Ready for today's mission. I think he sleeps in his armour. I have never seen him shower either. Somehow, though, he is always clean. Maybe I don't know everything that goes on in this ship.
He settles for staring over my head. 'Been working on a new shot. That's all.'

I sigh. I leave a target in the cargo hold hanging over the carbonated man's head. It's changed after each person. I make the crew shoot until they get five bulls eyes in a row. It takes them hours. But they are getting better. Normally this happens at night, or when they each return to the ship before me. Never so early in the morning.

I look to the target. There's one wide and seven pretty much dead centre. I am impressed. I know Torian has not specialised with a blaster rifle. But I thought he should learn. You never know. And it suits him. I like a guy with a big gun.

'Something I picked up from watching you. Want to check it out?' I grin. I am naked except for a towel and he wants to show me his new tricks? I laugh a little.

He tries to stay serious. But I know him too well. There's lust in his eyes. Curiosity. Pride. Eagerness. I shrug a little. I walk a little closer to him. His rifle and a few centimetres are all that's separating us. If you minus the towel and armour.

I'm not short, but I need to lift my head to look in his eyes. 'I'm already out of the shower. I'm having trouble thinking of anything better than watching you shoot.'

He grins quickly. He moves one hand to my back while holding the blaster at his side in the other. He pulls me closer. But something changes in his eyes and he takes a step back, letting me go.

'Good. Showing off for you was pretty much the point.' He returns to fiddling with gun a little. He is sweet. It's a little endearing. Never knew I would like sweet so much. I'm not sure how ok I am with us being like this at the moment. I just don't want to lose him. If I do, I will be alone in a galaxy with nothing else worth giving.

'Let's get to work. The sooner we're moving, the sooner you can see me in action, ner alor.' My Commander.

I look hard and serious into his eyes for a second and notice the fatigue there. They are slightly less bright and I know he never slept last night. I glance at the rest of the cargo hold and can tell he was up all night training. Not sure what to do about this yet. For now, until it effects him in battle, I will stay quiet.

So I laugh. I step forward and swiftly kiss his cheek. 'You're sweet, Torian.'

I turn up the stairs before he can reply. I look over the balustrade. He's smiling into the distance. It's far away and full of lust and pleasure. I throw the towel down onto his head. 'Better keep your head in the game out there. Won't be a towel that's getting thrown at you.' Sometimes, we seem like shy adolescents. And sometimes, I don't mind.

But I stagger a little once out of sight. I walk quickly and uneasily to the cupboard and quickly open the lock with the key in my little finger. I take out a vile and shakily measure a dose. I inject it and wait for it to take effect. It was close. Too close. He cannot see this. I pull on my armour quickly, avoiding seeing myself in the large mirror. Hope he didn't notice the change. Don't know how he couldn't. Guess it couldn't be helped.

We leave in ten minutes. Torian is still smiling under a serious appearance. And I am still laughing, as if there is nothing terribly wrong with either of us.


Inconsequential author thoughts:


MilaniGrey's Avatar

10.29.2012 , 12:19 AM | #118
I defer to my earlier comment about running out of words and Torian induced /swooning
The Islingr Legacy
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"How dreadfully spooky." -- Vesaniae's Darth Nox

iamthehoyden's Avatar

10.29.2012 , 02:03 PM | #119
Torian's great at having no subtext. He's blunt without being crude. I love how your bh isn't quite sure how to handle that kind of steady, serious pursuit from a good guy. (And the piece with him offerring to teach her Mando'a was great! )
aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Fan Fiction: My Name is Solomon Crae The Man in the Box

EverSteam's Avatar

10.29.2012 , 03:42 PM | #120
Quote: Originally Posted by MilaniGrey View Post
I defer to my earlier comment about running out of words and Torian induced /swooning
Mission accomplished then
Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
Torian's great at having no subtext. He's blunt without being crude. I love how your bh isn't quite sure how to handle that kind of steady, serious pursuit from a good guy.
That's exactly him! I love his bluntness.
Yeah, I figure she wouldn't know exactly how to feel or act because her only prior experience was not pleasant, and then the General and then the odd person or target (who were all not pleasant).
Damn Torian being so good.

Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
(And the piece with him offerring to teach her Mando'a was great! )
I'm glad you liked it >.< It made me happy to write.

*sigh* Guess I should start having dark things happening again...
Though I'm thinking to leave Belsavis as a happy-ish time so it has more contrast to later.
Oh well, will update soon.
Also updated Yours to Hold yesterday in case anyone reading this missed that.