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The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content > Fan Fiction
The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
06.26.2013 , 05:42 AM | #441
That kid has a bright future.


On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

This directly references the discoveries of HK-51's first appearance.

SCORPIO is busy convincing T7-01 that there is an urgent errand to run somewhere well off daycare grounds. Meanwhile, BABY KALIYO leads BABY THARAN to the shelf where the keyboard console box known as HK-51 rests. BABY THARAN clutches the purple pony MY LITTLE HOLIDAY tightly as Kaliyo flicks on the power to HK-51.
BABY THARAN: 'HK-51' is...a Speak and Spell?
BABY KALIYO: In Huttese, yeah.
HK-51: Salutation: Greetings! Are you ready to educate organics today?
BABY THARAN eyes BABY KALIYO uncertainly.
BABY THARAN: You think this has hidden subroutines?
BABY KALIYO: Definitely. Ask Jorgan's whiskers if you don't believe me.
BABY THARAN looks uncertain, but settles down beside HK-51.
HK-51: Encouraging query: Can you spell DROID?
BABY THARAN: I could spell myeloencephalitis if I felt like it. My skills are not in question.
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: You're so smart, Tharan!
HK-51: Stiff query: Can you spell PRETENTIOUS GIT?
BABY THARAN, ignoring it: So how did you say this alternate programming was activated?
BABY KALIYO: Pierce kicked it across the room.
BABY THARAN: And then it acted differently?
BABY KALIYO: You could say that.
HK-51: Change of tactics: Would the organics like to play a game?
BABY THARAN carefully selects a wooden block from the toybin and comes back to slam it onto HK-51's screen.
BABY THARAN: Anything different?
HK-51: Wounded assertion: No, master. Though a game that does not involve blunt trauma would be appreciated.
BABY THARAN: Hmm. Holiday, any ideas?
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: If you could plug a data conduit from my mane to his main processor, I could analyze his programming from there.
SCORPIO's head swivels to face them.
SCORPIO: Yes. Continue, children.
BABY KALIYO: Ooh, that never means anything good.
BABY THARAN: It doesn't?
BABY KALIYO: Never mind, genius-boy. Have at it.
BABY THARAN painstakingly braids some of MY LITTLE HOLIDAY's sparkly mane and plugs it into a data port on HK-51's side.
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: All right then! Let's just take a look at this guy's programming...
HK-51: Smug statement: You asked for it.
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY twitches, her mane falling free of the improvised connection, and falls over.
BABY KALIYO: Whoa.
BABY THARAN: HEY! Holiday! Holiday?
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: i have seen madness
SCORPIO: But are you articulate enough to warn the others, I wonder?
HK-51: Self-satisfied remark: I doubt she'll ever want to discuss this little peek into my mind with the organics.
BABY THARAN, hugging MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: What did you do!?
HK-51: Recommendation: Think of it as a lesson in being yourself.
SCORPIO: Interesting advice coming from a designated sleeper agent.
HK-51: Suddenly innocuous protest: I'm sure I don't understand what you mean, master.
BABY KALIYO: Well, it's no plasma gun, but I'd call this bad enterprise a success.
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kabeone's Avatar


kabeone
06.26.2013 , 10:20 AM | #442
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
SCORPIO's head swivels to face them.
SCORPIO: Yes. Continue, children.
BABY KALIYO: Ooh, that never means anything good.
This makes me shudder to think of all the horrible things Kaliyo and SCORPIO are plotting on my agent's ship.

Excellent as always.

alaurin's Avatar


alaurin
06.26.2013 , 11:38 AM | #443
YAY!!!! More companion goodness!!!!

Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: i have seen madness
SCORPIO: But are you articulate enough to warn the others, I wonder?
HK-51: Self-satisfied remark: I doubt she'll ever want to discuss this little peek into my mind with the organics.
BABY THARAN, hugging MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: What did you do!?
HK-51: Recommendation: Think of it as a lesson in being yourself.
SCORPIO: Interesting advice coming from a designated sleeper agent.
HK-51: Suddenly innocuous protest: I'm sure I don't understand what you mean, master.
BABY KALIYO: Well, it's no plasma gun, but I'd call this bad enterprise a success.
When will I ever learn not to read this while drinking something? I always have to clean off my monitor and keyboard after!

Adwynyth's Avatar


Adwynyth
06.26.2013 , 01:18 PM | #444
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
BABY TANNO VIK takes a foul-smelling black substance from his pocket and smears it onto the canisters.[/i]
BABY TANNO VIK: Morphite, as promised.
Is that morphite in your pocket you are you just...wait...that doesn't work here.

Where did he get the morphite?
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
HK-51: Stiff query: Can you spell PRETENTIOUS GIT?
...
MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: i have seen madness
AHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHHAA! You owe me a keyboard.
Horrendously bad fan fiction: Sith in a Pretty Dress

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
06.27.2013 , 05:20 AM | #445
Short one today.


On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.

BABY QYZEN FESS and YOUNG BOWDAAR are brawling in a flurry of scales, fur, claws, and teeth.
T7-01: Qyzen Fess + Bowdaar = stop fighting
LORD SCOURGE: This is the same request you made yesterday, isn't it?
T7-01: Scourge = correct // Qyzen Fess + Bowdaar = fighting since yesterday
LORD SCOURGE: They were fighting all Tuesday, too.
T7-01: Qyzen Fess + Bowdaar = fighting all Monday as well // Qyzen Fess + Bowdaar = probably still in the same fight
BABY ELARA: Correct, sir. It's terrible. I've been hoping to read them the Riot Act, but, um.
T7-01: Elara = going to say?
BABY ELARA, glumly: We don't have a Riot Act.
LORD SCOURGE snickers.
BABY ELARA, hopefully: Maybe if we ratified one I could read it to them?
T7-01: Riot Act = children stop fighting?
LORD SCOURGE: No.
BABY ELARA: But at least we would have some more rules about it.
YOUNG BOWDAAR, somewhat indistinctly, from the fray: SLAAAAAAAAAVE.
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bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
06.28.2013 , 10:43 AM | #446
On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO


BABY ZENITH, carrying his oversized purple plastoid foam suction dart rifle, sidles in the door and takes up a tactical position a few steps away from BABY JAESA.
BABY JAESA: Whatcha doing?
BABY ZENITH, scowling: Hm. Seen you around. You can't decide what side's right.
BABY JAESA: Decisions are scary. Until you've gotten started, anyway.
BABY ZENITH: It's like this. The fighting won't stop until every last Imperial is dead.
BABY ZENITH pauses to think about it.
BABY ZENITH: Or suction darted a lot.
KHEM VAL and SCORPIO stand off to one side.
KHEM VAL: Policy says we should confiscate his weapon, but I like that he burns with a hatred like Tulak Hord.
SCORPIO: Teeseven is not here. We can observe.
KHEM VAL: Done.
BABY VECTOR, by the toybox: Jaesa, you do not have to listen to Zenith. He is a very angry child.
BABY ZENITH: Angry because of the Empire. Your fault.
BABY VECTOR: We have never wronged you. - Um, wait a moment.
BABY VECTOR seems to space out for a few seconds.
BABY VECTOR: There, we checked. We and the nest have done nothing to you.
BABY ZENITH: Maybe. But I'm with the Republic. We don't let our losses go unavenged.
BABY VECTOR: We are with the Empire. But we know how to seek constructive solutions.
BABY ZENITH, to his audience BABY JAESA: Vector's a liar and I heard he kicks small animals for fun.
KHEM VAL, to SCORPIO: That would make him much more interesting.
BABY VECTOR: Zenith is tragically misguided, and we pity him.
BABY JAESA: I'm not sure what to do with this.
BABY VECTOR: We implore you, choose the light side. It puts much less wear and tear on the...well, the everything.
BABY ZENITH: Don't care much about light side or dark side. But if you're not fighting Imps you're stupid.
BABY JAESA: Hey, no need for name-calling. Meanie.
BABY JAESA crawls over and starts building a block house with BABY VECTOR.
BABY ZENITH: So be it.
BABY ZENITH takes aim and fires at BABY JAESA. She Force swats the foam suction dart aside.
BABY ZENITH: Hey!
BABY JAESA: I'll protect Vector, too. He's nice.
BABY TEMPLE, who has been watching with interest: Ha! Victory, Dark Side!
BABY VECTOR and BABY JAESA: No.
BABY ZENITH: Hmph. Might as well be.



Consular notes:
Spoiler
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bright_ephemera
07.05.2013 , 10:14 AM | #447
This is dedicated to the latest patch, which fixed female Togruta textures and somehow accidentally reskinned Jorgan with a less than flattering look.

On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.


BABY JORGAN toddles in looking sick. His fur is pale and hangs a little loosely; his eyes have heavy dark rings around them.
BABY JORGAN, glaring at all and sundry: Hi.
BABY CORSO: Uh, hi.
BABY CORSO visibly struggles to come up with something nice to say.
BABY CORSO: Jorgan, you're looking very...
BABY AKAAVI: ...nightmarish?
BABY JORGAN: Yeah. I know.
T7-01: Jorgan = okay? // sick Jorgan = stay at home.
BABY JORGAN: I'm pretty sure it isn't contagious to non-fuzzy species.
BABY BROONMARK, swiveling his head in BABY JORGAN's direction: Blllorp.
BABY JORGAN: I'm pretty sure it isn't contagious to Talz, either. Not like I'll be rubbing up against you to find out.
BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!
BABY AKAAVI: How did this happen?
BABY JORGAN: Dunno. The patch came down and suddenly I'm like this.
BABY AKAAVI: We could go find the devs and throw things at them until you're fixed.
BABY JORGAN, wincing: Poor choice of words, Akaavi.*
BABY AKAAVI: Until they give you your face back?
BABY ASHARA runs by in a tiny crop top and shorts, looking delighted.
BABY CORSO: ...What was that all about?
BABY JORGAN: Hell if I know.
T7-01: Children = no swearing // T7 = agrees nevertheless
BABY JORGAN: Well, I don't think we can fix anything now. Hey, Akaavi, up for a game of spec ops tag?**
BABY AKAAVI: You're on.



* I'm pretty sure Jorgan doesn't want to be fixed (i.e., neutered)

** This is much like regular tag, but with more slipping through ceiling crawlspaces, giving cryptic hand signals to one's team, and using household objects as tactical weapons.
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Magdalane's Avatar


Magdalane
07.05.2013 , 11:53 AM | #448
Poor Aric!
Love is the strongest magic of them all.

kabeone's Avatar


kabeone
07.05.2013 , 12:47 PM | #449
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
BABY JORGAN: Hell if I know.
T7-01: Children = no swearing // T7 = agrees nevertheless
Agreed, poor Jorgan. Also, baby Jorgan swearing is probably the cutest thing ever.

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.08.2013 , 07:08 AM | #450
On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.



T7-01: Today = field trip // children = tour Coruscant // Coruscant = capital of the Republic
BABY QUINN raises his hand.
BABY QUINN: We've already been there. The Empire, I mean. We stomped all over everything.
KHEM VAL: Yes. It nearly rivaled the glory of Yn and Chabosh. Or so I'm told; I was not on the invite list for the sacking.
T7-01: Quinn = stop rubbing it in
BABY KIRA: Maybe this time you can avoid breaking anything.
BABY QUINN: That would rather defeat the point of our coming, wouldn't it?
BABY KIRA: Well, if you don't break anything, maybe we'll let you leave peacefully.
BABY JORGAN: Though we wonít cry if that doesnít happen.
BABY ELARA busily distributes identification and visa papers to the children as they disembark from the spaceship.
T7-01: Coruscant = city-world // entire planet = one big built-up city
BABY KIRA: Boy, would I hate to be in charge of trash management.
T7-01: Building ahead = Senate Tower // Tower = emblem of freedom and democracy
BABIES ELARA, CORSO, and KIRA: Ooooohhh.
KHEM VAL: Tulak Hord had a better house.
BABY JORGAN: Nice. Do they rent speeders at the front door to get around in there?
BABY TEMPLE: Iím pretty sure everybody who goes in there gets propelled around by hot air.
BABY KIRA: Sorry, canít hear you over the sound of how much better our government is.
BABY CORSO, pointing off to a side street: So whatís over there?
T7-01: That way = unsafe // Black Sun + other syndicates = have control // gang violence = very high
BABY TEMPLE: And you let this go on in your capital city?
BABY KIRA: Hey, the only reason you Imps donít have these problems in your capital is you donít have enough city to fit all the slave revolts in.
BABY QUINN: At least our legislative system gets to the point. Anyway, Mister Teeseven, I would rather tour the ruins of the Jedi Temple.
T7-01: Quinn = out of luck // Quinn = stop rubbing it in.
BABY TEMPLE: I hear they recruit even weak Force users, huh? Without, you know, killing them? Purely academic question.
T7-01: Jedi = very nice // Jedi = welcome all
BABY QUINN: Disgusting.
BABY TEMPLE: Right, yeah. Disgusting.
The children, closely following T7-01 and closely followed by KHEM VAL, reach the steps of the Senate building.
BABY QUINN: Perfect.
BABY QUINN produces a flagpole nearly as tall as himself, with a similarly proportioned Imperial banner on it.
BABY QUINN: I hereby claim this building in the name of the Empire!
BABY CORSO: Nuh-uh!
BABY QUINN: Yes. I do.
BABY CORSO: Do not!
BABY QUINN: Do too.
BABY CORSO: Do not!
BABY QUINN: This is probably the saddest Republic defense I have ever encountered.
BABY CORSO: ...Is not!
BABY JORGAN: This is Republic territory. Iím going to have to make a citizenís arrest on charges of attempted invasion.
BABY QUINN: I have near immunity with this student visa.
BABY JORGAN: It doesnít cover galactic politics. Youíre definitely under arrest.
BABY QUINN does a double take and examines the visa papers BABY ELARA had provided. He looks back up, crestfallen.
BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this bÖno. No, my plan was perfect. Except for the visa. Dorne, you sabotaged me!
BABY ELARA: I arranged student visitation papers for us all as per statute 513-B, paragraph seven! Itís not my fault they donít legally cover attempted coups!
T7-01 rolls up and extends a grabber arm to take the banner down.
BABY QUINN, sullenly: You can take our flags, but youíll never take our tyranny.
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---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST