I love these cute little mini-companions...

 

And yes, blizz does get all the girls.

If Skadge walked in on my Bounty Hunter and Mako, he'd be dead and burning for a few moments as I kicked the corpse into an escape pod, launched it, and then blew it to bits.

If Gault walked in, he'd be needing Mako's medical attention shortly after.

If Torian walked in, he'd be given a three second warning.

If Blizz walked in, he would be formally invited to join us.

Girls ain't the only ones that love Jawas, Bioware just doesn't want the Bounty Hunter (even if female, and I would make a female to romance him) to be added to his speed dial. Everyone knows Blizz has a girl for every port

If Skadge walked in on my Bounty Hunter and Mako, he'd be dead and burning for a few moments as I kicked the corpse into an escape pod, launched it, and then blew it to bits.

If Gault walked in, he'd be needing Mako's medical attention shortly after.

If Torian walked in, he'd be given a three second warning.

If Blizz walked in, he would be formally invited to join us.

 

Girls ain't the only ones that love Jawas, Bioware just doesn't want the Bounty Hunter (even if female, and I would make a female to romance him) to be added to his speed dial. Everyone knows Blizz has a girl for every port

Since my Bounty Hunter is female, it'd be me and Torian, but the rest is the same.

All right. After a long dormant period, I return with a special holiday edition! Don't forget to check out kabeone's festive take on the holiday!

I'd quote the part of this that I thought was the funniest, but then I'd just have to quote all of it. Awesome, as always. A new entry in FCD never fails to make me laugh out loud.

Come on! where is the next chapter?!

You can't rush the genius!

*experimentally pokes bright_ephemera gently with a stick to see if that works*

Raaargh!

...I mean, er, I'm still alive! Wacky hijinks will come when wacky hijinks are ready to come

Raaargh!

 

...I mean, er, I'm still alive! Wacky hijinks will come when wacky hijinks are ready to come

*pokes wacky hijinks gently with a stick*

So funny! I laughed so hard at Doc, and his costume. I know it's rude to rush, but I'm going to do it anyway:D

Hurry!!!!!!!

*mega lazy*

But I appreciate the love!

Here, an installment for freedom fighters:

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

BABY QUINN is busy at the cubbyhole wall. He is hanging a new Imperial flag that acts as a curtain for his cubby and, by design, covers BABY JORGAN's cubby as well.

BABY JORGAN: Do I need to bite you again?

T7-01: Jorgan = stop perforating Quinn

BABY QUINN smiles smugly.

BABY QUINN: For once authority is on my side.

Suddenly, a foam suction dart zings out of nowhere, thumping into the newly hung Imperial flag. And bouncing harmlessly off, but at least the sentiment was there.

M1-4X, from the toybox: I applaud whoever had the courage to take such a stand against the Empire!

BABY JORGAN: Forex, you're the only one here who's still allowed to possess projectile weapons. You could take that stand yourself any day.

M1-4X: Without the backup of stalwart Republic soldiers, it just isn't the same.

From around the FCD doorway comes a tiny Twi'lek carrying a toy sniper rifle. It is colored purple and bright yellow and has purple flames painted down the barrel.

T7-01: Stranger = stop // Forced Companions = no new toy blasters

BABY ZENITH: I'm Zenith. And I'm here to liberate this facility from Imperial control.

BABY JORGAN blinks.

BABY JORGAN: This facility isn't under Imperial control.

BABY QUINN, hurriedly: Yes it is.

T7-01: FCD = not Imperial

BABY QUINN: Just because we have been unable to completely eradicate the Republic presence doesn't mean this facility isn't ours.

BABY JORGAN: It's not much of a facility. It's daycare, you idiot.

BABY QUINN: This opportunity to indoctrinate the young is of the utmost strategic importance.

BABY JORGAN: Are you sure I can't bite him?

T7-01: Biting = strictly prohibited

BABY ZENITH: Prohibited? Don't know who you are, droid, but the resistance uses every method it can get.

BABY JORGAN: Twi'leks aren't known for being very effective combat biters.

BABY ZENITH: You'd be surprised.

M1-4X: We will never allow this daycare center to fall into Imperial hands!

BABY QUINN: It's already there, if you stupid Republic people would just go away.

BABY JORGAN: So wait. Your grand strategy for conquest is total denial of reality?

BABY QUINN: I'm…still planning.

BABY ZENITH raises his toy sniper rifle and plants a foam suction dart squarely in BABY QUINN's cowlick.

BABY QUINN: Hey! Mister Teeseven, make him stop!

T7-01: Quinn = already declared Imperial hostilities // Zenith = reacting appropriately

BABY QUINN, sullenly: Authority was supposed to be on my side.

T7-01: FCD authority = neutral

BABY QUINN: Right. A "neutral" Jedi fanboy.

BABY QUINN turns to BABY ZENITH.

BABY QUINN: It looks like the Republic already holds this place, so your work is done. You may as well go away.

BABY ZENITH shoots BABY QUINN in the cowlick. BABY JORGAN snickers.

BABY ZENITH: I'm not resting until every last Imperial has –

BABY QUINN, bitterly: Had their hair messed up?

BABY ZENITH: Every revolution starts somewhere.

KHEM VAL emerges from the basement. Some red apprentice robe scraps are still hanging from his lower teeth.

KHEM VAL: I've not overheard such enthusiasm for rebellion since the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh. Who is this?

T7-01: Zenith = slightly insane // but Zenith = Republic ally

BABY ZENITH: I'm here to drive out the Imperials, sir. But, uh. I don't think I'm going to take you on just yet.

KHEM VAL: You're smart, little Twi'lek.

One of Zenith's foam suction darts comes zinging back at him. It sticks on Zenith's forehead.

BABY ZENITH: Huh. How do you guys do it around here? Am I dead or do I just have to go to timeout?

T7-01 beeps angrily at BABY QUINN.

T7-01: Quinn = no blaster fire // Quinn = go to timeout

BABY QUINN: I didn't fire a blaster. I just threw the dart really hard.

T7-01: Quinn = hit people with darts // Quinn = go to timeout

BABY QUINN: Zenith did it, too. He should go to timeout.

T7-01: Zenith = not enrolled in FCD // Zenith = fully allowed to shoot Imperials

M1-4X: Hear, hear!

BABY QUINN: See? This place is a Republic stronghold!

BABY JORGAN: Damn right.

T7-01: Jorgan = no swearing // Jorgan = correct nevertheless

M1-4X: Republic forever!

T7-01: Quinn = acting out // Quinn = go to timeout // Quinn = also can't display Imperial flag anymore

BABY JORGAN: Y'know, Quinn, your Imperial campaign would've gone better if you'd stuck to denial.

BABY QUINN: Yes, I could probably have planned this better.

BABY ZENITH removes the foam suction dart from his forehead.

BABY ZENITH: Looks like the Imps lost this round. But seriously. What are the rules about headshots? Am I dead?

BABY JORGAN: Nah. Local rules just say…well, by popular demand, there aren't many local rules. Once you meet Pierce and the rest you'll see why. You're good to go.

BABY ZENITH: Perfect.

T7-01: Blasters = still banned // Zenith = surrender blaster if he wants to stay

KHEM VAL: I think we should make an exception. His bloodlust reminds me of the happier times of Yn and Chabosh.

T7-01: Emulating Yn and Chabosh = the opposite of a good argument to do something

KHEM VAL: Please?

T7-01: Zenith = a menace // but Zenith = may keep blaster if he uses it on Imperials

BABY QUINN: Favoritism!

BABY ZENITH, striking a pose with his toy sniper rifle: Justice.

T7-01: Blasters = still banned // Zenith = surrender blaster if he wants to stay

Khem Val: I think we should make an exception. His bloodlust reminds me of the happier times of Yn and Chabosh.

T7-01: Emulating Yn and Chabosh = the opposite of a good argument to do something

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

EDIT: Stop uncapitalizing my posts!

*BABY ZENITH, striking a pose with his toy sniper rifle: Justice.

Bahahahaha!

BABY JORGAN: It's not much of a facility. It's daycare, you idiot.

...

BABY ZENITH: I'm not resting until every last Imperial has –

BABY QUINN, bitterly: Had their hair messed up?

BABY ZENITH: Every revolution starts somewhere.

...

BABY QUINN: See? This place is a Republic stronghold!

BABY JORGAN: Damn right.

...

BABY ZENITH: Looks like the Imps lost this round. But seriously. What are the rules about headshots? Am I dead?

BABY JORGAN: Nah. Local rules just say…well, by popular demand, there aren't many local rules. Once you meet Pierce and the rest you'll see why. You're good to go.

BABY ZENITH: Perfect.

I love Baby Jorgan. This is probably spillover from my love of adult Jorgan, but he's the only sane one in the group, lol. Plus the swearing is hysterical.

And Zenith is hilarious! The rules on headshots - awesome!! I love that Khem Val is a fan

(Must level my baby JC faster, must....)

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

LORD SCOURGE: Children.

KHEM VAL: Some misconceptions must be cleared up.

LORD SCOURGE: Yesterday the owner of Forced Companions said things that suggested that Forced Companions is, in fact, under Republic control.

M1-4X, from the toybox: Hear, hear!

LORD SCOURGE: It was a lie.

KHEM VAL: As clearly stated in our employment contracts, which are so airtight not even the lawyers of Yn and Chabosh could contest them.

M1-4X: The lawyers of the Republic could no doubt free T7-01 from these unreasonable demands and allow the enlightenment of democracy to prevail!

LORD SCOURGE: Shut up.

BABY TEMPLE: This means that Forced Companions is really the Empire's, right? Hooray!

BABY TEMPLE and BABY PIERCE high-five.

KHEM VAL: Don't be ridiculous. The Empire is better than the Republic, but neither can rival the dominion of Tulak Hord.

LORD SCOURGE: …Tulak Hord is dead, Khem.

KHEM VAL: The point is, the Sith rule here. With my help.

LORD SCOURGE: Ah. Yes, correct. The live Sith, such as myself, are the rightful rulers here.

BABY TEMPLE: But…but…as the Empire! Right?

LORD SCOURGE: No, mostly just me.

BABY PIERCE: I can work with Sith.

BABY TEMPLE: Whose side are you on!?

BABY PIERCE: The one that lets me get away with more.

M1-4X: We will never be –

BABY PIERCE runs up and tackles M1-4X, clapping a hand roughly where M1-4X's mouth might conceivably be.

M1-4X, not even slightly inconvenienced: We will never be silenced! Freedom and democracy will always carry the day!

BABY PIERCE: Huh. How do I shut you up?

M1-4X: The truth cannot be shut up!

BABY ANDRONIKOS: I'm pretty sure it can be once we figure out where your speakers are.

BABY ANDRONIKOS runs up and starts crawling over M1-4X's chassis, looking for the voice synthesizer. M1-4X makes an annoyed clicking noise and zaps BABY ANDRONIKOS with an electric shock.

BABY ANDRONIKOS: Hey! Knock it off!

BABY PIERCE snickers.

M1-4X, defensively: I'm allowed to fight for freedom.

KHEM VAL: Unfortunately, he's right. That is also in the daycare charter.

LORD SCOURGE: Forced Companions is neutral territory and M1-4X is permitted to defend liberty and justice.

KHEM VAL: We really need to renegotiate that thing, Scourge.

LORD SCOURGE: I am inclined to agree.

BABY PIERCE locates a previously unsuspected cache of small explosives in one of M1-4X's chassis compartments.

BABY PIERCE, cheerfully: Huh. I can work with neutral.

M1-4X, fidgeting uncomfortably: You should work with the Republic instead.

BABY PIERCE: The Republic never lets anybody get away with more than my other employment options would. Sorry.

LORD SCOURGE: On the other hand, Khem, I am tempted to temporarily issue an edict declaring Forced Companions Imperial territory simply to draw out the little sniper you spoke of. He sounds most amusing.

BABY TEMPLE: He's a jerk. He shot Quinn. Lots.

LORD SCOURGE: …I definitely wish to meet the little sniper. And possibly shake his hand.

KHEM VAL: Zenith is a fighter comparable to the rebels of Yn and Chabosh. Except I haven't defeated and devoured him yet.

M1-4X: And you never will, fiend!

LORD SCOURGE: Pierce, you have my permission to blow up M1-4X with the explosives you just stole from his supply cache.

BABY PIERCE: Ooh. I can work with Sith.

:D

*hugs the last story* I really need to meet Zenith. arg.

Must the Sith control EVERYTHING? Even daycare centers? Wow, imps are getting desperate...

Ha ha, I love baby Zenith. Keep Khem Val's hands off him, though!

LORD SCOURGE: …Tulak Hord is dead, Khem.