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The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content > Fan Fiction
The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.21.2012 , 11:20 AM | #51
ON THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.

LORD SCOURGE: It is now nap time. Fetch your mats and blankets and fall asleep, or face the consequences.
T7-01: Snacks = cookies and juice for all // snacks = after nap
BABY GUSS grabs a mud-colored mat and matching blanket, curls up in the corner, and pulls both over him.
T7-01: Mat = under Guss // that arrangement = more sanitary
BABY GUSS: I'm safer if they're both covering me. It makes me twice as hard to find. Just wake me up when the cookies get here.
BABY TEMPLE and BABY QUINN have constructed a large replica of the Citadel out of alphabet blocks, with elastic-band-bound rulers as the flying buttresses and a fork jabbed into the topmost block for the spire. The blocks spell out "SUBMIT OR DIE." Now finished, the children have curled up, reached out from under their respective Imperial-crest-stamped blankets to hold hands, and fallen asleep.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah, the innocence of youth.
T7-01: "Submit or die" = not very innocent // Imperial youth = tragically dangerous
LORD SCOURGE: I take it the children of your worlds are all sunshine and kittens?
T7-01 extends an electroprobe to point in BABY JORGAN's direction.
T7-01: kittens = yes
LORD SCOURGE facepalms.
BABY JAESA: Guuuuuuuyyyyys!
LORD SCOURGE walks over to where BABY PIERCE has BABY JAESA in a headlock and is pummeling her.
BABY PIERCE, looking up while still hitting BABY JAESA: Hi, Scourge.
LORD SCOURGE: Explain to me what you are doing.
BABY PIERCE: I'm helping Jaesa here go to sleep.
BABY JAESA: Augh! You're horrible! I hate you! People like you just make me want to...want to...
LORD SCOURGE: Do continue, Jaesa.
BABY JAESA: Rrrrrrrgh!
BABY PIERCE stops hitting her, but keeps her in a headlock.
BABY PIERCE, affably: Oh, come on, Jaesa. I know I'm horrible to you in every way, and I have been consistently awful to every family member and loved one of yours I've ever met, but I'm not an entirely bad guy. Let's be best friends.
BABY JAESA considers.
BABY JAESA: Okay, sure.
BABY PIERCE shoves BABY JAESA to the ground and ambles over to his own sleeping mat, smiling all the way.
BABY QUINN stirs and rolls over in his sleep, knocking into the base of the Citadel replica. The replica falls over, pelting BABY QUINN and BABY TEMPLE with alphabet blocks.
BABY TEMPLE starts crying loudly.
BABY QUINN: Hrm. Falling asleep six inches away from an unstable structure didn't work out so well.
BABY QUINN looks thoughtfully at the scattered blocks.
BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better.
LORD SCOURGE: Silence, Quinn. You would do well to obey my command and go to sleep immediately.
BABY QUINN: Yes, my lord. Then, whispering: Hsst, Temple! Quiet down and sleep or the Sith will kill us both before we ever get officers' commissions.
BABY TEMPLE hiccups, sniffles, and stills.
BABY QUINN: Well done.
BABY QUINN promptly goes back to sleep.
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bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.21.2012 , 06:16 PM | #52
On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

BABY RISHA: This meeting of the Take the Credits and Run Club is now called to order. Roll call: Vette?
BABY VETTE: Present.
BABY RISHA: Tanno Vik?
BABY TANNO VIK: Present.
BABY RISHA: Kaliyo's still out sick after the mutual-biting-with-a-kath-hound incident. I don't think they've determined which one got the worse germs out of that. Andronikos?
BABY VETTE: He's probably off somewhere enjoying not listening to you.
BABY RISHA: But everybody has to listen to me.
BABY VETTE: Don't remind me. Bossypants.
BABY RISHA: Fine. On to the agenda. We need to find something to steal, but going straight for the credits won't work today. SCORPIO is on duty, and she would immediately detect any efforts to slice Forced Companions' accounts, so we're stuck with other forms of petty theft. I recommend cookies.
BABY VETTE: There's really nothing else around here worth stealing.
BABY TANNO VIK: Not true. We could steal and resell the toys. Or everybody else's lunchboxes. Or Pierce's detonite stash in the kitchen cupboard that he doesn't think we know about. - Thanks for the tip, by the way, Yuun.
BABY YUUN, looking up from what appears to be a tea-leaf divination: No problem.
BABY TANNO VIK: We could also steal the microwave.
BABY VETTE: We could pull the usual con on Doc.
BABY RISHA, shuddering: Only if you do the hugging while I pick his pockets.
BABY VETTE: Nuh-uh. It's your turn to hug him.
BABY RISHA: Big veto on that.
BABY TANNO VIK: ...the light bulbs, the toilet paper, Bowdaar...
BABY VETTE: Sell Talos another rock with gibberish painted on it?
BABY RISHA: Even I feel bad doing that one. He really believes that every rock a sentient has ever touched belongs in a museum.
BABY VETTE: And who are we to stand in his way? He has decent funding for buying anything we claim looks old.
BABY TANNO VIK: ...the carpet, the wall studs - I have a pretty good idea how many you can take before the building loses structural integrity...
BABY RISHA: Vik, even if we stole all that, who would we sell it to?
BABY TANNO VIK: Well, Forced Companions will need a lot of furnishings if all that stuff disappears.
BABY VETTE: The staff would never fall for that. Not unless we isolated a single one and pulled every psych trick we can think of.
BABY TANNO VIK: Who do you figure is our best bet?
BABIES VETTE, RISHA, and TANNO VIK all look at each other.
BABIES VETTE, RISHA, and TANNO VIK, in unison: Mister Teeseven.
KHEM VAL: Children. It is time to learn arithmetic, as was taught by the masters at Yn and Chabosh.
BABY RISHA, whispering: Vik, I'll cover for you. Go for it.
SCORPIO: Do not begin to steal things, children.
BABIES VETTE, RISHA, and TANNO VIK look guilty.
SCORPIO: Your enterprising ideas are intriguing, and Tanno Vik's inventiveness is commendable, but you must work on hiding your plans or else you will never succeed. I leave the improvement of such plans as an exercise for you. But first, arithmetic.
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kabeone's Avatar


kabeone
07.21.2012 , 07:03 PM | #53
I am not posting this in the art thread because it's not chibi, it's for the ladies (and others) who love them some Scourge. Don't pretend you didn't wish he was talking to you.

Crezelle's Avatar


Crezelle
07.22.2012 , 01:04 PM | #54
now we need show-and-tell >:3
Crezelle De'Chimera, of the Shadowlands
" Secret Agent Blue Booty, at your service. You Lead the way; I bring the kolto. "

Earthmama's Avatar


Earthmama
07.22.2012 , 02:57 PM | #55
Quote: Originally Posted by Crezelle View Post
now we need show-and-tell >:3

Yep!! I agree!

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.22.2012 , 04:15 PM | #56
Oh, Lord, my first few ideas for Show and Tell are just awful. Can you imagine?

BABY KALIYO: And here is the head of that Zabrak I was complaining about last week! Check out all the blood that dried in his hair!
BABY JAESA stares, fascinated.
BABY JAESA: Is that good? I can't tell.
LORD SCOURGE: And you killed him yourself, Kaliyo?
BABY KALIYO: Of course.
LORD SCOURGE: Well done.
BABIES VECTOR, TALOS, KIRA, CORSO, and ELARA burst into inconsolable tears.
T7-01: Show and tell = over // children = no more grisly war trophies as show and tell
BABIES PIERCE, YUUN, and AKAAVI, getting up to carry their show-and-tell bags back toward their cubbyholes: Aww.
BABY BROONMARK, looking awkward as he stashes his show-and-tell bag back in his fur: Blllorp.



(EDIT: Oh, also, that Scourge drawing definitely had an interesting and immediate effect on me. Nicely done )
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Crezelle's Avatar


Crezelle
07.22.2012 , 04:31 PM | #57
Quote: Originally Posted by bright_ephemera View Post
Oh, Lord, my first few ideas for Show and Tell are just awful. Can you imagine?

BABY KALIYO: And here is the head of that Zabrak I was complaining about last week! Check out all the blood that dried in his hair!
BABY JAESA stares, fascinated.
BABY JAESA: Is that good? I can't tell.
LORD SCOURGE: And you killed him yourself, Kaliyo?
BABY KALIYO: Of course.
LORD SCOURGE: Well done.
BABIES VECTOR, TALOS, KIRA, CORSO, and ELARA burst into inconsolable tears.
T7-01: Show and tell = over // children = no more grisly war trophies as show and tell
BABIES PIERCE, YUUN, and AKAAVI, getting up to carry their show-and-tell bags back toward their cubbyholes: Aww.
BABY BROONMARK, looking awkward as he stashes his show-and-tell bag back in his fur: Blllorp.



(EDIT: Oh, also, that Scourge drawing definitely had an interesting and immediate effect on me. Nicely done )
lol i wanna see what blizz, vector, quinn, and vette would have brought

blizz would have brought...everything.
Crezelle De'Chimera, of the Shadowlands
" Secret Agent Blue Booty, at your service. You Lead the way; I bring the kolto. "

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
07.22.2012 , 05:07 PM | #58
Quote: Originally Posted by Crezelle View Post
lol i wanna see what blizz, vector, quinn, and vette would have brought
And, see, I'm trying not to set up the expectation that I'll perform anything on command, but you keep hitting just the right notes to get my mental gears going! (Minus Blizz...sorry, kid. I'll meet you someday.)

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.


T7-01: Today = show and tell // First up = Vector
BABY VECTOR: Today we have brought a product of the nest called membrosia.
KHEM VAL: You realize there’s only one of you, right?
BABY VECTOR: What?
KHEM VAL: Never mind.
BABY VECTOR, holding up a small bowl filled with a viscous white liquid: Membrosia is a natural product of the Killik nest. It has many salutary effects, such as increased energy, longer lifespan, improved strength…
BABY BROONMARK shuffles up and grabs the bowl from BABY VECTOR’s hands. He drops his proboscis into the liquid and starts slurping.
BABY VECTOR: …and assimilation into the hive mind, permanently rendering you an organic part of the nest with only as much independent volition as the nest chooses to grant.
BABY BROONMARK freezes.
Everybody else leans toward him, watching with some interest.
BABY BROONMARK turns his head and spits a long jet of membrosia onto the floor. He hands the bowl back to BABY VECTOR.
BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.
BABY VECTOR: That’s all we had to say.
T7-01: Vector = thank you // Membrosia + Killiks = interesting // Next = Vette
BABY VETTE crawls to the front of the room carrying a little paper bag. She produces a flat square object of some shiver-inducing black metal, unlike anything modern technology knows. Several of the children shift uncomfortably and can’t look directly at it.
BABY VETTE: This here is a mysterious artifact from the battlefield of Chabosh. Sometimes humans go crazy and die when they touch it, which is pretty cool. It’s probably worth a lot of money.
BABY TALOS: That belongs in a museum!
BABY VETTE: And I’ll help it get there! For a very competitive price.
KHEM VAL: VETTE.
BABY VETTE: Huh?
KHEM VAL: I recognize that pocket protector. It belonged to Tulak Hord.
BABY VETTE: Wow. That’ll crank the market value right up.
KHEM VAL: You will return it to me. Or I will kill you. And your family. And your friends. I will lay waste to your home planet and feed on the dying screams of everyone you have ever loved.
T7-01: Khem Val = overreacting // Khem Val = scaring the children // Khem Val = also scaring T7
KHEM VAL: NOBODY MESSES WITH TULAK HORD.
BABY VETTE: Fine, if you’re gonna get weird about it.
BABY VETTE sulkily surrenders the pocket protector.
T7-01: That = more than enough // Next = Quinn // Remember rules = no hostages
BABY QUINN strikes an impressive pose.
BABY QUINN: Today for show and tell I will demonstrate the superior power of the Empire by bringing you the captured Republic frigate Valiance, recently taken in a daring and cunning operation off Ilum. Our pilots will make a low flyby by the window so you can all admire it before we take it to Dromund Kaas to be retrofitted for Imperial service.
M1-4X, from the toybox: You fiend!
T7-01: Forced Companions = neutral planet // defenses = zero tolerance against military units
A choking whine from somewhere out the window starts rising to a deafening roar. Everyone looks out the window as a smoking, blaster-riddled R.S. VALIANCE streaks from the sky, howling low over Forced Companions to smash into the street and run a long explosive furrow for several miles across the countryside.
T7-01: Valiance = shot down // House rule = no military invasions // children = know this
BABY QUINN: It wasn’t invading, Mister Teeseven. Just striking fear into the hearts of the Empire’s enemies. I wasn’t breaking the rules.
T7-01: Quinn = explain that to the planetary defense grid // Maybe they = care
BABY QUINN, disconsolately: I could probably have planned this better.
BABY JORGAN: Please tell me they’re going to promote you into high command someday soon. I could really use a guy like you on the other side.
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bright_ephemera
07.22.2012 , 07:05 PM | #59
On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.


BABY RUSK is sitting amidst his squad of stuffed animals. He is glaring at Akaavi, who is sitting and leaning forward to glare at him.
LORD SCOURGE: Akaavi and Rusk are having a staring contest?
KHEM VAL: Yes. They’ve been at it since Friday morning.
LORD SCOURGE: It is an admirable use of Rusk’s sole discernible talent.
KHEM VAL: Self-destruction?
LORD SCOURGE: I was referring to his pointless stubbornness. It is arguable whether ‘self-destruction’ qualifies as a talent.
BABY RUSK, hoarsely: I think I might drop from hunger soon.
BABY AKAAVI: Your failure to plan supplies correctly is not my concern.
BABY RUSK: Mustn’t…falter…
BABY AKAAVI stares.
BABY DOC: Mister Lord Scourge, Mister Lord Scourge!
LORD SCOURGE: It’s just Lord Scourge. I don’t need the mister.
BABY DOC: Right you are. Lord Scourge, I’ve been analyzing the food being provided to the children here, and I’ve got some deep concerns.
LORD SCOURGE: Is that so?
BABY DOC: Yes. See, growing children need large quantities of chocolate chips and cookie…uh…stuff, to prevent…bad things. Boils and stuff. And stunted growth. Basically we need to be provided with a lot of cookies or we’ll all be terribly sick.
LORD SCOURGE: Perhaps you do not deserve to be well.
BABY DOC: Whaaat? Lil’ Doc deserves the best.
LORD SCOURGE: Lil’ Doc needs to wipe the blue marker mustache off his face before anyone will take him seriously.
BABY DOC: This is an important part of my appeal.
LORD SCOURGE looks down at BABY DOC.
BABY DOC: If I compromise my image to get rid of the mustache, can we have more cookies?
LORD SCOURGE: No.
BABY RUSK blinks and falls over.
BABY AKAAVI: This victory will bring honor to my clan.
BABY RUSK shakes himself and gets up, clutching his empty tummy.
BABY RUSK, to his stuffed-animal squad: Come on, guys. Time for resupply.
BABY TEMPLE, sitting amidst the animals: They’re not going anywhere. I corrupted your whole squad while you were busy staring at Akaavi. Now they’re all loyal Imperials.
BABY TEMPLE hugs the stuffed nexu and smiles.
BABY RUSK: You can’t do that!
BABY TEMPLE: Can so.
BABY RUSK: Nuh-uh!
BABY TEMPLE: Uh-huh!
BABY RUSK: No!
BABY TEMPLE: Hey, squad, let’s sing the Imperial anthem!
BABY RUSK: Over my dead body!
BABY RUSK whips out a toy assault cannon taller than he is and starts hitting the stuffed-animal squad, thwacking indiscriminately while BABY TEMPLE sings out the anthem.
BABY RUSK: Traitors! All of you, traitors!
BABY AKAAVI: Even your stuffed animals know better than to follow such a weak and…unstable…leader.
BABY TEMPLE, unwilling to face Rusk’s frenzy, edges away from the battleground. BABY AKAAVI catches her eye.
BABY AKAAVI: The Republic finally manages the will to fight, and it’s with itself. This is why I believe your Empire will win.
BABY TEMPLE, beaming: Yup!
BABY DOC toddles over to smile winningly at BABY AKAAVI and BABY TEMPLE.
BABY DOC: Ladies, I need your help. Could you come pretend to be really sick in front of Lord Scourge for me?
BABY AKAAVI: Why would we do anything for you?
BABY DOC: If you help me out I’ll give you smooches.
BABY AKAAVI: So…if we help you you will punish us.
BABY DOC: Uh, no.
BABY TEMPLE: You really need to work on your negotiation skills. Particularly the part where you need to offer us things we like.
BABY DOC: Fine. I was going to keep it a secret until the thrilling reveal, but Lil’ Doc will graciously offer you a share of the bounty of cookies that will result from this plan.
BABY TEMPLE: Ooh.
BABY DOC: After the smooches.
BABY AKAAVI: No.
M1-4X: Rusk, how did that staring contest turn out? I was buried under bits of swoop track, I couldn’t see.
BABY RUSK, nursing the finger he crushed while fumbling with the assault cannon: Casualties one hundred per cent, sir.
KHEM VAL: Did you even need to ask? I’ve not seen such a terrible leader since the battlefield of Rhorek.
M1-4X: I’ve never heard of that one, sir.
KHEM VAL: Exactly.
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imperialmerc
07.22.2012 , 09:30 PM | #60
This just made my day! /subbed Get Jaesa and Khem interacting lol would be interesting.
Lagro level 60 Mercenary Sezzid level 60 Vanguard
Cezzid level 55 Operative Tuckeer level 55 Gunslinger
Snefru level 55 Sith Juggernaut Kam'ina level 60 Jedi Sentinel
Liadra level 56 Sith Assassin You're going down